How do I tell my helicopter dad that he is an ass

>>17949365
tell him that you identify as an a10 warthog and that attack helicopters trigger you

>>17949387
Lol for real tho like its killing who i want to be and what i want t do

Go listen to some Lincoln Park kid.

Like I'm almost 20 and im treated like a child

Do you live with him and/or are you dependent upon him for food, shelter, money, entertainment whatever?

If so, then irrespective of age you are still in a child like state and likely to feel like you are being treated like a child. This feeling usually motivates people to move on and self actualise in the world and form a separate adult identity.

Except it is easier to call Dad an ass right? That is very adult anon.

>>17949415
You are 20 and start sentences with "like."

If you are a pretty girl you can come live with me as my sex-maid. That will send a message to your father.

Otherwise just grow up/

Anyway, something maybe a little more helpful because I appreciate it takes two to create these situations.

My own father refused to see me as anything other than as an immature child because my perspective and behaviour was so alien to his own he just assumed I was acting like a idiotic childish young adult. It was very frustrating because he was unable to put himself in my shoes or see me as I was.

The solution was to move the fuck out and away from him and after several years with very little contact (he was still trying to project the same bullshit) we started hanging out and working together on things and built an adult relationship not built on these expectation and guilt and other bullshit, but on mutual shared interests, common experience and a desire to help each other out.

I had to throw him a few bones, ask him to help me out with projects in areas I knew he was strong in, offer to help him in return in areas I was strong in, cut contact or refuse to bite when certain topics or patterns of conversation started up.

Much better though, at the time it is like neither of you can see each other because you've both got expectations of what each person should be like and friendships shouldn't be built on expectation. Myself I had to let go of lots of shit like what I wished he was like and just accept he was how he was and that is done now.

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>>17949433
First paragraph is 100% my current situation. Right now im working on a portfolio for my film projects and i have a lot of external pressure to take up running his law firm. Which is just one of the things but his perspective of me is the same. Thank you very much for sharing your experience, i am working on moving out soon

>>17949500
Running his law firm? I don't believe you because that sounds priddy srrs anon. Either you've got a law degree and management experience in which case why the fuck aren't you doing it this is a great opportunity or your dad is a dumb fucking faggot trying to give a srrs business to a 20 year old film student wannabe.

>>17949508
Im just about to begin school

I don't know man. I mean, I followed my passion and around your age all I wanted to do was hang out with my friends, try and fuck girls, play in a punk band, smoke a bit of weed and skateboard. My family own quite a few businesses, land and property and they were of the opinion that I should be sensible and grow up and get involved. Instead I moved away and did a degree in music and setup as a self employed musician, giving lessons, playing in bands, playing in restaurants and at festivals, being a session musician, busking, whatever I needed to do.

It was pretty cool and I travelled quite a bit and earned good money, but by 28 I started to look at my life and what I wanted out of the future and thought, shit. I really fucked up there because everybody else in my family is close to being millionaires with portfolios and investment income and staff running the businesses now and they are basically 30-40 and playing around with personal projects, travel, cars, building ridiculous houses.

So I transferred into working for a company and became a regional manager for a shitty manufacturer and managed to buy a fairly crappy house and then I moved into a small business start up which is much more creative and interesting, but lower pay for longer hours.

I feel like my life is back on track and I'll be able to pay the house off by the time I'm in my mid 30's, but I do wonder quite often how shit might have turned out if I'd not been so stubborn and had gotten more involved with my family.

>>17949534
Well call me stubborn but i dont see myself wanting to do anything other than what i beleive is right for me. Even if i dont make a lot of money. Im a simple person when it comes to material things...
By the way do you think if you were making more money you would still be in music? Or is this maybe because you feel bad when you compare yourself to your family members?

>>17949554
I think that although while I was growing up I wasn't spoilt or handed things on a plate I always had the privilege of knowing that as I was from a successful family. I didn't really need to apply myself or make much of an effort in the world to cover my basic needs as there was always going to be a safety net and most of my problems wouldn't be ones which involved struggling to put food on the table or keep a roof over my head, they were intellectual and emotional ones and trying to rationalise the intellectual and creative with the practical and businesslike. If anything I suffered from having too much choice at an age when I wasn't mature enough to make choices.

It is easy to be above material things when you've always been surrounded by them and you know that if you want them they are available. You start to think you are above material things and that creative pursuits are morally superior or somehow more worthwhile without really learning that 99% of the shit that matters is material and practical in nature and brought into existence through hard work and commitment.

I think that I had the luxury of not having to consider money. I now realise that as I'm older I am 10 years behind people who picked a sensible career and my needs at 30 are not the same as my needs at 20 and I've got this creeping fear that my needs at 40 are going to follow a similar pattern and I'm still 10 years behind.

>>17949554
Look, your not even 20 yet, you're still a child. You have no idea of what it even means to be an adult. You're self absorbed like a child, your father sees this and treats you as such. Understand that to be a man, you put the needs of others before yourself. Everything you do now, has an impact on your future. Your father wants you to succeed, but you need to grow up before that can happen. Im surprised your father hasn't bitch slapped your ass yet.