How do I fill this hole?

>>17948740
I think a lot of us feel this way for a while in our lives. It still doesn't invalidate your pain though. I am guessing you are pretty young. You are going to try to fill this hole with anything that you can to feel something for a loooonnnngggg time. I think it just gets easier to deal with over time. I know it seems far away, but eventually I think you just make peace with it. Appreciate it, I know it's a bit crazy to say, but appreciate that hunger. Keep it fed but not full so that you don't forget it is there, so it doesn't hit you full blast when you come down from any high you felt. Take in those days that you feel something that tames the void just a little. Life, to me, is about soaking in the world so it can trickle through my empty vessel and I can know joy if only for a split second. Life is for those tiny drops of feeling. You were made empty so you can fill yourself up, with what is up to you.

>>17949033
Yeah, I'm only 18. I guess what you're saying make sense. I don't know, it's just that the uncertainty of life has really been wearing me down ever since I graduated highschool but if it's something everyone has to cope with, that kinda makes me feel better. At least I'm not alone. I'll try to deal with life one day at a time I guess

You're feeling unsatisfied because you went through a godawful school system. Fun fact about highschool. In a few years, you will forget 90% of everything you learned in all those 12 years of highschool.

And even when you go to college, most of what you learn will be forgotten and you'll only use what little is required to do your job. The educational sytem is such a waste of time. They put you through all these different subjects in school. Science. Math. Social studies. Are you going to become a scientist? No? Then why the FUCK were they trying to teach you science? Are you going to be a mathematician or do any college degree that requires math? Then why the FUCK were they teaching math beyond a 5th grade level? Does anyone even use the basic equations they teach in 7th grade in their everyday life? NO! They fucking don't!
Language arts? Again a completely pointless skill. All those chapter reviews over the books you were going over in class were pointless because all you need is basic reading comprehension to understand what was going on. You don't need a test over what happened in a particular chapter. And all these technical terms you were learning to see in how the story was constructed and written will be completely forgotten when you stop studying this and go back to reading books normally.

You were absolutely right when you were sitting in school all these years thinking it was a waste of time. You were absolutely right when you felt that the teachers were fucking retarded for being unable to teach their subjects in a way that wasn't fun and interesting and instead more boring than watching paint dry.

School is a fucking joke. It is a FUCKING joke.

>>17949722
The school system here in America is a joke, sure, but that's not what anons problem is. Also, what you learn in grades 1-12 is a foundation, not the end all be all. You clearly believe that what you have learned is useless, then YOU are useless.

>>17949722
Well, I don't think that''s it entirely. I did feel that way with math and my own country's history (leaf history) but I really did enjoy quite a few of my courses in highschool including english, global history, law etc. And it's not even like some of the more useless classes didn't teach me important stuff. My senior year of math at least taught me how to do classes. The school system is far from my issue

>>17949759
>My senior year of math at least taught me how to do classes.

I don't know how that became classes when I typed it cause I meant taxes. Also, I think I just got lucky and picked the right courses and even though what I learned was useless, I did enjoy some of them

Shameful self bump

Anon what's helped me get past the days is believing in bettering myself every day and with every person I meet. I used to struggle with the issue of identity and never really felt comfortable with who I was until I decided to try to improve myself. I believe that there's something that can be learned from everyone. Whether it's the experiences that teach you what type of person you want to be, or something as simple as teaching you how to bake something you've never known before. Striving to make myself better turned me into the person I am but I'm always changing and always doing what I can to be positive and to make the people around me happy because that's what I believe is important. I'm sure this isn't a perfect answer, but my overall point is that happiness is there if you make it happen. And maybe it'll be a year before it's possible for you to make it happen, but it's there. Maybe it'll be a girl, maybe it'll be a lucky job. But it's there, and when you jump on it you'll feel the greatest sense of fulfillment you ever have.

>>17949722
not sure where you're gathering 12 years of high school, but i'll let it slide.

OP, you need to get off your ass and stop feeling sorry for yourself. it's not going to get better unless you actively do things to better yourself or situation/surroundings.

you're kidding yourself if you genuinely think you're trying, because you're not. i know it's harsh to hear, but it's the truth. give it your all, man. do you have a job? hobbies that keep you contented? any friends?

in times of unhappiness, it's best to find solace in at least one thing you enjoy. don't let it consume you, however, as that leads to more problems in turn. having something that makes you happy and you enjoy is the first step to bettering yourself.

try and learn something, maybe. go out if thats your thing. listen to new music or watch something new whether it be television, anime or something else.

>>17950735
That's pretty insightful. I'll have to remember that. I've mostly just been holding out hope things will get better but I need to take an active step in making life better for myself. It's not just going to be handed to me

>>17950836
I guess I could try going out more. I honestly haven't gone out and done anything with friends for almost 6 months now. I'm just going to get over my insecurities and try to do new things with people instead of secluding myself

>>17951622
>>17950836
Alright, I asked someone to go see a movie with me and they said yeah so I guess the first step has been taken

>>17951622
>>17951723
glad to see my words got through to you, anon. i know this kind of stuff is hard to hear but if you make the right choices, you can pull yourself out of this hole.

remember, it's absolutely normal to be sad and mope around. but don't let it consume you.

>>17951792
Yeah, I'll have to be careful about that. It can be kind of comforting to just wallow in your own sadness for some reason. it feels like you're just kind of giving up on any responsibility to push forward or really work hard. I'm not sure if I'm explaining myself right but the important part is that I subconsciously fetishize my own depression on a constant basis and it's honestly one of my biggest flaws