ITT, the biggest life lesson you had to learn the hard way.

>>17947041

thats a hard one. i feel like the biggest life lessons have been positive.

perhaps that being happy requires wanting to be happy. I learned that by wasting so much time wanting to be miserable.

>>17947041
Be honest with who you are and don't romanticize something if you don't enjoy it in the moment.

>>17947041
dont fuck your friends if you want to stay friends

>>17947041
>"When you have persistence without ability, there's no end to what you cannot do."

I have a very stubborn, "never quit. try harder" attitude about everything that for a long time I though was enough to get me where I wanted to go. Wasn't until I really had to look back at a series of major life failures that I realized I had a kind of impotent resolve.

I'd spent all my time cultivating discipline, determination, and will power, and not enough developing skill and expertise.

>>17947041
Some people are meant to be alone. No matter how hard they may try to establish a connection with someone, or on the contrary, how easily they find it to establish relationships of all sorts with people, in the end it all disintegrates to nothing because you are ultimately never meant to have anyone; then it is realized, being alone is your freedom and comfort. You can be happy and be alone. The key to being truly fulfilling in life is to focus on oneself and essentially, falling in love with yourself. A lot of the time there are individuals who are in great relationships with an equally great partner, yet they still feel that something is off. That little bit of sadness that still remains because you aren't completely in love with yourself as of yet to love another - completely.

>>17947041
People only learn when there are consequences to their actions.

As such, it is almost always a misstep to ask someone to alter behavior you don't like. They won't respond to words, only actions.

>>17947041
Prostitutes are worth it, virginity is not.

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No matter how hard I try, my insomnia will find a way to fuck it up for me.

Don't get married

it's ok to distance yourself from your mother if she's damaging your perspective of other females. it's ok to not have that mother-daughter romanticized relathionship with your abuser

>>17947041
I'm learning through a painful process that I need to help myself and accept myself before I can genuinely and effectively do the same for others.

>>17947041
You can never trust a SO

>>17947041
Make decisions based on what will keep you from feeling regret later.

Know and accept yourself. ALL of yourself. When looking for a mate, don't be anything more or less than yourself. Tell them exactly what you need and want from them and exactly what you can and can't offer them.

The word Folk is pronounced like "Foke."

No one will love you for "who you are", no matter what they say, people only love each other for what they have to offer, and the more options a person has, more you'll have to offer if you want that person for you.

Believing that lie got me a shattered heart and one whole year of depression.

>>17947062
>>17947457
>>17947507
Yup. To all of these.

Be kind and nice to your family/close friends, listen to their problems, help if you can, always say goodbye. You never know when they will leave you for good.

Love is a powerful emotion that will destroy you, and you have no control over when it hits you.

>>17947041
Do not be desperate to find love. Do not throw yourself, and your money at someone hoping they will appreciate you. Do not try to fix broken people.

when women "love" and men "like" - best relationship

You are the company you keep

Everyone you lose will only hurt half of what you initially expected. That half is still alot, but manageable.

>>17947560
Can you elaborate?

>>17947041
Stop lying. Some bad memories were made with lies to my boss, friends and family. As someone who lied constantly, I understood it's really hard to change, but at the end of the day it you'll never have any weight on your mind.

Also, brush your teeth every day. Neglected to do so and hurts like burning fucking hell

Peace.

Never ignore your gut.

This.
You'll see many guys begin to do this past their mid twenties.

It works for the same reason a relationship where the man loves and the woman likes would never work in the slightest.

Women are most womanly and feel most womanly when they are in love.
Men are most manly and act most manly when they are not in love.

>>17947622
this post replying to
>>17947560

You're going to be the only person around for your whole life, so only rely on yourself and live/be yourself.

Be independent because you can't depend on others.

>>17947563
This one here is definitely good

>>17947041
if someone tries to kill you, you try to kill them right back.

>>17947041
Don't try to be honest through words but through actions, if you want to be a show off for some reason speak from what you already did not from what you "gonna do".
Watch your mouth, even if you don't mean harm or pretense people will make their own judgements anyway, you don't have to speak if you don't have anything to say.
Learn to deal with the past and if you regret it you better start doing things TODAY that you won't regret tomorrow, that is the only way to make up for things already done.

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Women are sociopaths.

>>17947563
Yeaaaaahhhhhhhh...

100%

This is why I'm a cat.

In a relationship, the little things matter. In fact, they are arguably the only thing that matters

Most men to some degree don't like women very much. Dating is ultimately a waste of time for all involved.

>>17947707
Wow. That's really sad that you've come to that point.

Jail is real and never get in trouble over a female.

>>17947707
>>17947803
Does anyone with experience care to elaborate on this topic? I've adopted this sort of mindset and i feel like it will either lead to me being lonely and depressed, or or possibly fulfilled with extra time/money.

Watch what women DO, not what they say.

>>17947707
Honestly, most people aren't very likable unless you open your mind. My partner and I really like each other as people though, so I guess we're just lucky. Or, I've just learned a lot of life lessons that make it easier to look past people's imperfections.

Cherish what you have and demand the same in return. To take for granted or to be taken for granted is asking for a relationship or friendship to fail.

No one deserves anything, especially love, and that's fundamentally a good thing

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Fear will destroy any and every opportunity for love. The stronger you are, the more you love, and the less you fear.

Don't bother with girls who have a history of abuse.

>>17947041
I doesn´t matter how hard you try, if someone with power doesn´t like you, you are fucked.

>>17947563
Hardest one to admit, yet the most important one if you're trying to change

>>17948192
More like don't bother with girls who don't try to fix their own problems.

Everyone has been damaged anon, we live in a cruel world. The question is, can she learn from her past experiences, or will you both drown in them?

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You're all you've got.

>>17947547
>>17947507
>>17947457
>>17947560
>>17947600
>>17947650
I learned all this shit the hard way too, brothers.

I'll add something. Everyone is literally just fucking winging it, so stop being so judgmental. It won't make you happy.

As far as all of the "never get married, never date, don't trust women" posts go, it really depends on the people involved.

You have to be incredibly careful with who you choose to spend your life with and open up to. Most people jump right into it without really understanding what it means to spend the REST OF YOUR LIFE with. Not sure about it? Just keep dating.

The relationships that last are the ones in which the people are partners in crime, and play off each other well.

Those little things that annoy you now are not going to go away 20 years from now. If they really bother you that much, deal with it immediately or move on.

Source: Been married for 10+ years, been together for 17+.

Not everyone is gonna like you.
People are selfish and if you don't step up to yourself you're not gonna get shit

>>17948310
When is the right time to address things vs, letting them naturally occurring through the longevity of the relationship?

>>17947041
that i'm not special. i seriously had the idea that i was special and supremely gifted grilled into my head my entire life by my doting mother. i have talents, sure, but "you can do/be anything you want" is a horrible lesson to teach a child

>>17948327
The earlier the better. Sometimes you've got to let things go. If she leaves hair in the drain, and it bothers you that much, bring it up. If it is annoying, but you don't really care that much, live with it.

It's all about striking a balance between not being a whiny bitch about everything and holding it in until you explode.

For bigger stuff, lets say sexual compatibility, or her love for tiny dogs (which you hate), you need to get that sorted out early, otherwise it's going to fall about a few years down the road.

Sometimes there just isn't anything you can do for a person. My boyfriend of 6 years has been battling depression. I was naive and thought I could help him through his struggles, be understanding, and show a supportive hand. He continued to abuse pills, make threats of suicide, and be cruel to other people.

Lesson I learned the hardest way is you have to learn how to get your hands on dangerous chemicals to assault people with that cleverly mimic certain medical symptoms, or else some punk or ghetto trash will get testy with you and do it to you, hell even old people get testy, sometimes cops do too, you have to learn every trick in the book to establish mammalian dominance or else people will step on your toes thinking you're the disrespectful punk when in reality they need to be bitch slapped into tomorrow. Keep your head down while unarmed, and once you have your hands on a good enough stick, whack anyone who pissed you off enough once or twice

I'm pretty sure they censor most of this shit for a reason, like the hand cramp one, very few detectives even know what it is. Pretty neat stuff. Not the worst one I've encountered, but definitely the most unique.

>>17947927
Most of the men I've dated had some degree of sexism, or misogyny. Even really submissive SJW types don't actually want to see the women they date as people, merely a status thing, the higher up the oppression levels, the better.

Let alone the men of the right.

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A girl will fall out of love with you for another given if given the chance.

>>17947622
That reinforces >>17947707
Guess I'll explore that latent bisexual side. Seems like men aren't worth it.

A girl is about to break up with you if she shows the following behaviors

*college (obvious)
* grad school (missed out on college experience)
* Change in Birth Control (her hormones will have key swings, pay attention if she dresses up more or less and the frequency of sex rising or falling, if it rises, mark it down and see if there is a pattern to it that rises and falls or is just rising up along with more drama and fights - which is a bad sign and you really need to up your game)
* Moving (any long distance relationship is rough)
* Traveling (solo or with other girls or especially with cool guys, traveling is going to cause her libido to boost)
* new job (will become attracted to new male and will have to fight it and you will be an outsider and she won't be as attracted)
* close friend has breakup (girls friends influence them immensely)
* Bad "friends" (girls poison each other with bad advice especially if they want to get with that girls boyfriend or are jealous)
* Girls night (she'll feel left out on all the "experiences")
* Close death (she'll push you away and needs to seek sex as a coping mechanism to feel alive, weirdly undocumented but check out Esther Perel)
* major year marks (21,25,30, 35,40 - life crisis)

>>17947041
Don't be indecisive (lost a great job offer this way).

>>17948104
>No one deserves anything, especially love, and that's fundamentally a good thing
Yeah, no.

Everyone deserves to be loved. Everyone. No one is ever too far gone, too awful, or undeserving of love.

Stop projecting your insecurities and damaged self worth. Start believing in what I just said and in that truth you will learn to love yourself as well. Because again... everyone deserves to be loved. No exceptions.

>>17948537

Most women view guys as things to be manipulated or changed. "He's perfect if he would just stop _____."

No guy is ever good enough for a woman because a woman's emotions are always changing. So the only successful way to be a man is to simply has to live his own life focused for himself. Even women who get with a "life partner" still want to change aspects about him. Always.

The only way around this is to care more about your own opinion than anyone else's, or else others' changing mood can effect your own self-esteem whether it was merited or not.

>>17948573
Men want to change women too. It's natural to not be completely satisfied with every aspect of a partner's personality. No one is perfect.

Also, that wasn't anything about what I said.

>>17948543
Yeah, me too. The men on here have solidified this opinion.

>>17947707
Men love women. We LOVE the energy they have, and honestly it excites and drives us. Women hate when men love women and get jealous and try to change men so that they don't love women, but only love their one partner. Women HATE when men love women, it makes them jealous and insecure.

>>17948585
What?
What about men and their jealousy? it's very intense.

>>17948585
My bf grew up with mostly girls. He gets along well with his female friends, and he's an awesome partner. Personally I get jealous at times but then I think how awesome it is that he actually appreciates me and other women as people.

>>17948591
Awesome. I wasn't saying it as "a rule" I was saying *generally*.

>>17948589
Jealousy is always a form of insecurity. Sometimes things aren't secure and it's well placed, sometimes it is the person projecting their own insecurity onto the relationship. Each situation is different no matter what generalities there are.

>>17948618
I know what you mean. I just figured this thread and especially the ladies in here could use a more positive perspective. Not enough people believe in love and that's why they can't find it.

>>17948630
>Not enough people believe in love and that's why they can't find it.

That's extremely dangerous and careless advice, because you're setting someone naive up for disappointment.

"Believing in love" is a fictitious and childish sentiment. Just like the real world, relationships have a rule set. If you break any of those rules, you won't have a relationship anymore. "Love" is the type of sentiment that burns people.

>>17948572
I think they meant no one is obligated to someone else's love

>>17948207
>Everyone has been damaged

Wut. I'm not. Most people I know a aren't. Especially not to the point of having been abused.

>>17948582
If we judged men and women based off Chans everybody would be single and commit suicide

>>17948641
Well, you're kind of proving my point. Take it from me I've been cheated on, raped and abused... But I still believe in love. Because I choose to be strong, not to live a life of fear. And it's made me very happy.

>>17947547
You can decide if you let it control you, however.

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>>17948540
Also I should add that a GUY will also fall out of love with a girl if given the chance to be a with prettier girl.

Have realistic expectations of yourself and others, and never put someone on a pedestal.

>>17948660
Not true, not in my case. Literally turned down neighbor lingerie model (small time, not serious, but still smoking hot and with amazing haircut I like and style I loved). Was my neighbor, could have gotten away with it easily, but turned it down because I was with a girl I thought I was gonna marry.

That girl went on to dump me and have a threesome in my old house.

Men believe in "happily ever after" bullshit about love, women believe in "love can overcome everything and nothing matters" bullshit about love.

>>17948665
>never put someone on a pedestal.

especially girls.
And if they leave your life, it fucking hurts.

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>>17948460
True fucking that. Too many times I've gotten invested in trying to help someone who just doesn't want to be helped.

>>17948660
Looks give you a chance, if you make him feel better about himself then he'll commit to you no matter how hot other girls are (but if you don't make him happy and others do, he'll leave).

Lost the love of my life settling for an ugly fobby bitch. Avoid ching chongs at all cost brethrens!

>>17947041
I didn't necessarily learn these the "hard way" but here's a few lessons I think are important:

There are different types of love, but few if any at all are unconditional. The closest type to unconditional is a mother's love for her son/daughter. It matters who you are and what you do.

That said, some people will never love you, and some people probably always will.

Particularly in a relationship context, everyone is entitled to their deal breakers regardless of what they are. Nobody owes you a chance to be with them under any circumstances.

If in a relationship both parties are constantly wondering what the other one has done for them lately, something is very wrong. Both should be wondering what you've done for her/him recently.

You boost your own self-esteem from the little things first.

Hard work is integral to success, but it's not the only factor.

Thriving at anything requires some combination of talent (skills/ability), work (dedication), luck (stumbling upon opportunities/opportunities opening themselves up to you), and nerve (willingness to take a leap when the opportunity arises).

Life really is kind of like a movie that you're the star in, but you're the only one who's watching. They're the star in their own movies too.

Ultimately, you are the arbiter of your own happiness.

It's never wise to wager more than you can afford to lose.

Social skills are probably the most important asset you have in life.

If you have a good head on your shoulders, you will usually find a way in life at some point.

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>>17948671
nah mate, of course there are a lot exceptions.
I found it to be generally true.

Say you have a lovely wife.
But you also have a really cute co-worker, who at first you dont have feelings for, but after years of working closely together, and become close with friends outside of work, youre going to fall for her.

And vice versa, girls are more guilty of pulling this shit though.

>>17948161
Literal white knights itt
Faggts.

Don't sweep anything under the rug, especially legal things like renewing documents, licenses, visas, etc. I learned the very hard way about this.

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If you rent a room from someone, do some nice things for them now and then. Offer him dinner, help him with random stuff, etc. It can prevent a whole lot of conflict.

>>17948683
Ah, yes. Overtime no matter what, your neurotransmitters will fade at the 2-3 year mark. Most people just keep chasing those neurotransmitter relationships though. It's like the old saying

"No matter how hot the girl, some guy out there is tired of her shit."

I'll say after that event above happened to me, it's the second time a long term relationship blew up on me because of women being shitty (getting cheated on sucks). I secretly will cheat on future relationships because it makes no sense to turn down sex for a relationship, they usually end horribly anyways, might as well end on a better problem for you, than a worse one. Plus women can hook up so easy after a relationship, it's not like they'll have problems for long.

>>17948681
Solid advice.

I'll add in

- you are responsible for every emotion you feel, nobody else is (or you are gonna have a bad time).

- when you compromise, there is no medal or score adding up, it literally is just you wanting less than what you think is the best from a situation

- when life hands you lemonades, burn life's house down...with the lemons

>>17948717
>- when you compromise, there is no medal or score adding up, it literally is just you wanting less than what you think is the best from a situation
I really like that one.

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Video games are shit because video gamers are shit.

Gamers are the second most ungrateful and incompetent piles of human waste you'll ever meet in your life; the #1 spot is taken by indie game devs.

Trying to make games and content for games showed me that gamers really are filth. It's the worst "community" on the planet. At least terrorists and drug dealers aren't as wildly incompetent and overtly belligerent for literally no reason

>>17947186
>Prostitutes are worth it, virginity is not.
The only reason why being a virgin is bad isn't because you simply haven't had sex, it's because you lack the social skills to convince someone to have sex with you. It's why prostitutes don't really count.

>>17947495
No I refuse to believe this

Trauma reveals a person's character.

Everyone has had struggles in life, and they never excuse or justify a person's behavior.

People who are mean or untrusting because they have had bad things happen to them are weak.

Never trust someone who identifies too strongly with or embodies their struggles, because they were too weak to move on

being afraid is the best way to destroy something great

>>17948785
t. someone who has never had any trouble in their life

inb4 some made up shit to try to pre-emptively win the trauma olympics

>>17948813
You're a weak person looking to excuse your own failures.

I learned the lesson I described when I went through trauma of my own and realized that I didn't have to be a shitty person just because awful things happened to me.
I used to give shitty people too much sympathy when I had learned that they went through something tough because I thought "I've never had to go through something that hard so I might also have turned in to a bad person if that was my situation"
Now that I have gone through things that are worse than what most people have gone through, I can confidently say that it's not an excuse for having a negative outlook or acting poorly.

You either get stronger or weaker from trauma. I chose to get stronger.

Obviously there is a period of time where you are bitter and sad after trauma, but that should go away as you heal.

It doesn't matter to me whether you accept this truth or not, but you're limiting yourself and wallowing in your weaknesses if you reject it.

>>17948717
>you are responsible for every emotion you feel, nobody else is
I assume you mean responsible for how you act on those emotions. A breakup or the death of a loved one making you sad isn't something you can choose but staying in bed for weeks or getting out of your head and attempting to carry on are reactions you can make to those events.

>>17947563
Hahaha guess I'm no one then.

W. B. Yeats once wrote :
> The best lack all conviction, while the worst are full of passionate intensity.

It's a though lesson to learn, really. You might think that it's a no brainer, but once it really hits you you realize how deep it runs in today's society.

At age 11 I was diagnosed with an IQ of 140+, at age 3 I was already speaking two languages fluently, three at age 9. My family always rambles about me having been able to memorize entire nature related books before I could even read, reciting the content before my mother would start reading it to me by simply looking at the pictures on the pages, latin names included. I was supposed to skip two grades in elementary school, only ended up skipping one. From then on my life turned into pure hell. Kids at school would be jealous of my grades, teachers would despise me for being smarter than their own kids, other kids' parents would quit inviting me over to play because "I would spend the entire day running around asking questions about everything I could put my hands on". In some way my intellectual curiosity backfired in the worst way imaginable.

I was a loner throughout all secondary and high school, for the same obvious reasons. That's when I got into drugs, which helped me cope with the harsh nature of reality. It's now been nearly ten years of depression, anxiety and drug abuse. And for what ? For the simple reason that my immediate social environment wasn't able to cope with my atypical train of thought.

I'm getting better though, quit drugs, currently battling my way through college despite heavy social anxiety, found a girlfriend. Everything's basically looking better, but the resentment is still there.

>>17947041
That it's hard to find someone for a dedicated relationship.
Most people get bored eventually.

>>17948882
Social intelligence is a thing.

I will never understand how such truly "intelligent" people fail understanding society so much. It really isn't that hard to figure out what you have to do or say. Most people are very simple.

But yeah, seems like you are on the right track now.
Keep your head up and treat your girlfriend well. Use some of your brainpower to do so.
You'll be exceptional.

Test

>>17948895
I get what you're saying, but I think your reasoning is simply missing the fact that social skills are developed through one's interaction with the environment. As I said, my social environment has been harsh to me from almost day one. I didn't even have a chance to develop a secure/confident approach to social interactions since I've always have had an atypical approach to life/reasoning/communication. It may be "easy" for you to know what to say because you have a lot of empathy (in the sense that you are able to manage social encounters by probing the intentions/thoughts of others), but I can't since I don't think like most people AT ALL, therfore most of my opinions/thoughts come across as "weird" to them.

But hey thanks for the positive vibes man, I've been pretty focused on improving my life lately, despite the horror I've been through. I greately appreciate the input

>>17947495
NO
NO NO NO NO NO
FUCK YOU

FOLLLLLLLLLK

>>17948645
Best post in the thread

>>17948763
If you tried to make a game, you'd fit that indie developer category senpai. Maybe look into why the fanbase is the way it is today.
There's a shitton of corruption and money grubbing. The whole point of video games is to make a really cool adventure, not a quick buck...I think this has made gamer very cynical

I've learned that observation is key.

I feel that's simple enough.

If you look hard and long enough at any problem, the patterns become apparent. That said, simply knowing answers doesn't ensure that you're able to do much about them.

Choosing my problems is becoming a big part of the improving the efficiency of energy utilization.

that being insecure because you are afraid of getting judged is the single most reason you WILL get judged

>>17949056
and you should totally just trust the person you love that they won't judge you.

>>17948785
>Everyone has had struggles in life, and they never excuse or justify a person's behavior.
Uh, what? Holy shit what the fuck is wrong with you? I have never seen a more ignorant, incorrect, and straight up retarded post.

You know what psychosis is, right? When someone's PTSD is triggered then they are no longer thinking rationally. Their mind is filled with fear, anger, anxiety, and they will be reliving that trauma all over again. This causes people to be defensive, clouds their thinking, and is not a true representation of their character.

Please, educate yourself. Your views are dangerous and demonize victims.

>>17948862
You are the definition of someone that lacks empathy. You think that just because you acted shitty and blamed it on your "past trauma" that everyone is exactly the same as you. You're saying trauma can be judged on a scale equally and compared to one another.

>Now that I have gone through things that are worse
Seriously man. Seriously? To say such a thing is to make a wild amount of assumptions. You might have suffered more. Maybe. How would I know though? How would you? Who are you to judge them for the trauma they went through? How the fuck could you possibly know how hard it was for them? Everyone has their own fears, insecurities, and uh, traumas.

You realize there are a retarded amount of variables here, right? Something that was incredibly difficult for you to get over might have been extremely easy for someone else. People have vastly different life experiences and even the wiring and chemicals of the body and mind will be different. Even broken.

You truly need to educate yourself on some basic biology, psychology, and for sure see a psychiatrist. It sounds like you have some shit to work out yourself. Does that make you weak? Less of a person? No, of course not.

Why would I judge anybody?

Why would you?

>>17949089
Just so you know I put that shit in quotations for a reason. PTSD is something that is devalued until experienced. It's not a fun time for the person. They are not proud of it after the fact. It's not an excuse. It's also not a proper representation of their character either. It's something that takes even a life time to get over and saying someone is shitty because they have experienced a trauma so awful that they will actually relive that experience at even the slightest reminder is some cold hearted shit.

>>17948785
I agree with the first point.

I disagree with the second point. It is reasonable to expect ones struggles to impact their outlook on life, and thus their actions. It's called learning.

The third point could be considered technically true, however to say that it is unjustified is to remove a vital component from an individual that defines what it means to be human. In the end, untrusting and mean are subjective and dependent on the observers perspective.

The fourth point, I have to disagree with. I understand where you are coming from, but this rolls back to point 1 & 2. Our struggles define us in a way, they are quite literally life changing events. If we can ignore events that are so pivotal to who we are, then what warrants any significance in our lives? Would you rather somebody speak of a funny twitter post they made once over a pivotal and life changing event?

Again, I feel that's subjective.

>>17948660
Could've fucked a bubble butt amazone fitness chick who basically threw herself at me. Rather stood with my gf who just lay there while having sex and wouldn't even suck my dick.
She later cheated on me with a musician because she got bored by me.

>>17949128
Someone that says "It's ok to be a shitty person because I've had a hard time" is kinda... no. That's not an excuse.

Someone that says "I'm sorry for acting shitty during that specific point in time because I was undergoing PTSD psychosis caused by my past similar traumas" is understandable. By definition, this type of reaction is triggered by something related to a severe trauma and it's as if they are reliving that trauma all over again. As in, their reality is being altered completely and they really believe that they are undergoing whatever it was that caused them so much suffering.

Rape, molestation, betrayal, combat, abuse, any of that. A soldier hearing firecrackers going off might get triggered to a time his best friend stepped on an IED and that trauma will bring back all that same fear, anxiety, adrenaline, and memories so vivid he will truly believe he is right back in Afghanistan fighting for his fucking life. Can you really judge him for his actions in that moment? is that who he truly is?

What about someone trusts a loved one with everything they are, their dreams, their ambitions, their future, and trusts that person to always be there for them If that person has done this in the past with either a parent or lover and that person they trusted with all they were abandoned them leaving them all alone in a critical turning point of their life? Say, graduating college and starting their real adult life? Or a little girl that was raised to believe that their family would always love her and she could trust them.

If that little girl then get's molested, raped, and traumatized by people that were suppose to be her security she will be extremely reluctant to give that trust to another. if when she does give that trust to someone later in life and even on accident that person were to do something that reminded her of that traumatic event... it will cause her to feel all that betrayal again.

Would you judge her then?

>>17948863
I understand what you're saying except for one fact.... DEATH is guaranteed in life. Everything you know and love, every dumb fuck decision and tripping on ice or fart in an elevator to every single atom of your grandma who survived hitlers art show is gonna be destroyed atom by atom when this whole place gets ripped apart, or when you die, or when the sun gives out, or the center of the Milky Way implodes...

Losing everything is already guaranteed, you already know that's gonna happen. So you have a couple choices, either lay in bed when something you already knew was gonna happen happens, or turn it around fucking celebrate every time you fart or punch a toddler in the face and yell "IT'S SNOWING" like a bad Hook remake. Those who choke themselves jerking off are awesome, they didn't go out lying in bed, they told their body "Let's do this!" And probably shouted "LEEEEEROOOOY JEEEEEEHNKKIHNS...." And went out like badasses.

Death is guaranteed, fuck lying in bed. Fuck feeling bad. You're responsible for how you feel because you already know that feeling something is better than feeling nothing, and whatever you *ARE* feeling is already a lot more than what the rest of eternity is gonna be like for us all. Feeling anything is better than the nothing that comes for us. Might as well recognize you're a god now and choose what you want to feel and go for it.

>>17949074
Nah, I agree with the other dude. At the end of the day, even the best thing for victims is that they have to *choose* to get better or seek treatment. Like I understand that it's harder for some a others, but also some of the most badass people of history were the most fucked up. We can always choose to be something greater because of the events that happen to you. In fact, I would say that view is empowering victims, and saying anything else is by fact and definition limiting victims into a role. We both have our preferences, I just choose to empower people.

>>17949138
Hahaha, did you see my story above about "could have cheated with lingerie model, didn't...girlfriend left for threesome" up above.... I've learned in life that guy is better to cheat than to think doing the right thing will pay off later. Usually it only harms you as a guy and makes it all the more painful later.

>>17949208
>*choose* to get better or seek treatment.
That's not at all what he said.

Even then, saying "You are weak because you react poorly when put under stress of a similar past trauma" is incredibly vague, assumes way too much about that person's fucking life, and again... shows an absolute lack of empathy.

You don't know the fucking trauma that person has gone through. You don't have the same experiences as they do. Something easy for you to get over will be incredibly difficult for someone else and vice versa.

>>17949212
>I've learned in life that guy is better to cheat than to think doing the right thing will pay off later.
So you learned in life that sacrificing your self worth, your values and morals for 30 minutes of sex is totally worth it.

Hmm...

I don't know you so I can't exactly say if that has caused you any issues but it for sure for a lot of people. What I have gleamed from your post shows that you project your experiences onto others because "That's what I learned in life." That is going to give you hell in future relationships, FYI. You're going to think "Well shit, I don't care about doing the right thing so why would my partner?"

Good luck with that shit. You know, a sift full of trust issues, self worth, and more.

>>17949214
No, I'm saying I believe in the capacity of all humans no matter their trauma, to be able to overcome it and that they can become great people the worse their trauma was. That some of the most badass people literally had the worst traumas. Nelson Mandela, or holocaust survivors like Viktor Frankl or Henry Landwirth, or Ghandi or Lincoln who faced insane issues or setbacks. It's a pretty crazy phenomenon that some of the best leaders had to overcome their own demons first. It literally made them amazing during a crisis because they were able to keep a cool head (because of their background and facing worse trauma) while everyone else was losing their shit.

I think trauma builds is or tears us down, but that we all have an ability to be greater because of trauma, and those who haven't experienced trauma don't get that opportunity.

It's much better to take chances and be rejected than to spend years wondering what if. This applies not just to romantic relationships but jobs and other opportunities you come across too. Don't let anything kill your hope.

>>17949218
Nah, I just won't be in a relationship. And if I do, I'll push for non-monogamy and expressly state this preference and my reasons why. I'm saying that I've learned retroactively that most women cheat. Most my friends were all cheated on. I think the idea that men cheat comes from the fact that we learn it, or for me it's the path I haven't tried yet, I tried the others route of not cheating and it backfired, so in the future if I'm in a relationship, maybe it's something worth trying. Is that projection? Maybe. Or maybe it's a multiple choice question where I tried the other answers and none of them were right, so it's the next answer to be tested. Adaptation is as old as the universe itself.

>>17949218
If someone has only had abuse in their relationships, either from family, friends, or lovers, then that is just how they think things are. If they have been laughed at by someone that was suppose to always love them for asking a question then why would they ask more questions? If they spent their entire life being mocked, insulted, and belittled by people that supposedly loved them, that's what they will think love is. If they experience a traumatic betrayal and abandonment multiple times, each time following a similar pattern, the next time that pattern starts to happen why wouldn't they get freaked out?

What if those traumas were so severe that even seeing the simple beginning's of that pattern causes them to experience a full blown PTSD psychosis? Are they assholes for that or weak?

Go play a game with a friend. Run up to them and start counting to five. When you get to five give them a hug.

With another friend, instead of hugging them when you get to five you kick them in the fucking nuts. See how many times it takes them before they cup their balls and say "FUCKING STOP IT HOLY SHIT." when you start counting.

Now, get those two friends together and start counting. When the one that's been kicked in the nuts over and over screams "FUCK YOU PRICK" the other friend will think "What? You don't like hugs? You're a fucking asshole."

EMPATHY.

DIFFERENCE OF EXPERIENCES.

DIFFERENCE OF VIEWS.

>>17948926
Not that anon but to me you come across as someone who places too much weight on how his environment has effected him. You don't have to be such a product of your environment. Life is not about pitying yourself over what's happened to you. It's about overcoming it. It's the only way you will ever find happiness. Start taking more responsibility for your life. Learn to socialize. I really doubt you have it that bad.

Signed, a person with autism who's been bullied and rejected but chose to turn their life around.

>>17949257
>Most my friends were all cheated on.
Same experience here, and it's not like they are cheating because they are neglected or whatever, it's the same superficial reasons the guys have to do it, like they just want a new dick and that's it.

>>17949243
>capacity of all humans no matter their trauma, to be able to overcome it
Again anon, you're assuming all humans share the same fucking experiences.

You lack empathy. You lack the ability to go "My life experiences have added up in a specific way that makes certain experiences, certain traumas, considerably easier for me to handle. Other people may not share these same experiences so that trauma will be harder for them to deal with."

>that they can become great people the worse their trauma was
Uhhh...

You can safely say this then, right? Because you have experienced every kind of trauma from every kind of life experience. That every trauma can be positive in the end? Because again, you've experience them all, right?

Do you NOT see the problem here?

>>17949281
Yeah, you can safely assume that's the reason?

That human beings have such simplistic minds, social groups, and relationships that it's FOR SURE the most obvious, superficial reason you could possibly think of?

That's some deep thinking right there. I bet you're super interesting as a person.

>>17949291
It's a bad way to phrase it, but the reason behind (if you could just read between the lines instead of being a self-righteous cunt) is lust.

>>17949276
>You don't have to be such a product of your environment.
You have no fucking clue what you're talking about.

All you are is the product of your environment dipshit. That's the reason you are sitting here at a computer bitching on 4chan instead of middle east fucking a goat while taking a break from your Jihad.

Holy.

Fucking.

Shit.

You god damn people I swear to fucking god.

>>17949297
Really? Really?

Really?

is it lust? Really? The same fucking thing you said before? Was because of "I wanted sex" is for sure the reason they did what they did.

There aren't any other governing factors there at all. No deeper context. Humans are just that simple. We don't have all these incredibly deep rooted insecurities, traumas, experiences, beliefs, mental illnesses, personality disorders, chemical imbalances, fears of abandonment, or even the context of the relationship itself.

It's just "WOO SEX." because "WOO SEX."

>>17949305
Are you schizophrenic?

I'm starting to realize that I am pretty much the adult equivalent of that annoying little kid that always asks "Why?" to everything.

She cheated. "Why?"
She thought her BF didn't love her. "Why?"
Because she was hiding things from him. "Why?"
Because she thought he wouldn't accept who she really was. "Why?"
Because she hates herself. "Why?"
Because she cheated on him once before. "Why?"
Because she had been cheated on in th "Why?"
BECAUSE LIFE IS HARD OK FUCKING CHRIST
...
...
...
"Why?"

>>17947560
Yeah I saw that Patrice O'Neal special too.

>>17949307
Just smarter and more inquisitive than others.

What, you don't want to know why something is or isn't?

Do you see something and go "That's neat!" and that's it?

You don't think "Ok... so how does it work? What makes it neat?"

>>17949322
You must be joking, you're not smart or 'inquisitive' because you overthink simple issues, you're just a sheltered 20 something cuntface wasting too much time on the internet.

>>17949322

>mr. above average intelligence man reporting for duty "life is such a JOURNEY but u mean wouldn't get it"

The hardest lessons I've learned:
-Nearly everyone in every vertical is incompetent
-It's not what you know or how well you do your job that nets promotions, it's being well-liked and being able to deal with tedium
-People don't particularly care about the truth, are inequipped to figure out said truth, and even faced with it will willingly choose a lie they prefer

I'm hoping the next lesson I learn isn't "Always leave the country before the camps pop up"

>>17949326
>"Shit, he made me look simple minded."
>"I know, I'll insult him!"

>>17949212
Yeah I saw it and I smiled to myself because the story kinda hit home. Turning down a woman like that and then getting cheated on in a vile and disgusting way kinda makes you think if it was worth it. But I'm still glad I stood strong, stood by what I believed was right.

>>17949326
>twenty somethings, like.....I mean, like, they suck dude, I'm a twenty something myself or maybe a thirty something, but, like, I consider myself apart of Generation X because it sounds cool, and I take shits on millenials because they're like entitled and all that stuff on the media, and like, I think by trying to disassociate myself from actually being a millennial that even though myself I have nothing actually relevant to say that makes me superior to a generation I'm apart of somehow even though I'm full of horse shit and pathetic

>>17949336
>>17949322
>>17949307
>>17949305
>>17949291
Human minds at their most basic level ARE simple. We're still animals. All that grey matter devoted to logic and reason and memory is built upon and beholden to a small primal lizard-brain that doesn't get more complicated than UNGA FUCK BUNGA EAT

Skepticism without investigation doesn't make you smart, it just makes you insufferable.

>>17949348
>"and here's how I'm going to feel superior to both of them!"

>>17949353
No, just you dipshit.

>>17949327
>I'm too stupid to understand life is super complex so ahhhhh
You know, there's a reason I am who I am and known for what I do. I'm a creator. I create. I can't help but look at things with a finer comb. If I want to better myself, better what is important to me, if I want to create I need to know how it works.

If I were to only look at the obvious, I would only be able to make a reproduction. I don't want to copy, I want to create.

Ironically, here's a quote by man ray ""To create is divine, to reproduce is human."

then again, I have to wonder how he came to that conclusion.

Either you get it, or you don't.

What, exactly, do you do for a living? What have you created in your life?

>>17949348
>more neurons than stars
Uhhhhhhhhhhhh

Totally simple, right?

We don't even fucking know how any of our shit even WORKS. The coding within the human mind is absolutely above it's own ability to comprehend.

>>17949357
>"very serious curt statement that makes me feel like I have the upper hand"

>>17949360
>i r ubermensche, engage me in dialogue and agree with my grandiosity because I said I'm more intelligent

>>17949363
It's funny that you call yourself smart but fall back on your own ignorance to support your bullshit.

>We don't even fucking know how any of our shit even WORKS
We don't know how all of it works, that is not the same. We know quite a lot about the brain at this point, but I'm going to bet you've never read a science journal in your fucking life.

Jsjahah

>We don't even fucking know how any of our shit even WORKS.
>how any of our shit even WORKS.
>even WORKS.
>WORKS.

>>17949391
>>17949363
:)

>>17949372
>literal statement
huh. That's not what it was.

You realize you're fucking so desperate for anything to bitch about you're resorting to technicals of speech and not the meaning.

If you want to do that shit, how about this then. You're still fucking wrong. We truly have no idea how the brain works. We don't know how it's coded at all. All we do know is WHAT parts of the brain are activated in a certain situation. That's like saying "So, those little piston things move around a whole lot when the car goes." is saying "I know how a car works."

Vaguely, at best.

Fucking holy shit you guys. Are you going to criticize spelling and grammar next for your "totally valid" arguments?

>>17949408
>Fucking holy shit you guys. Are you going to criticize spelling and grammar next for your "totally valid" arguments?

hell yeah mah dood, hell yeah

>>17949408
>All we do know is WHAT parts of the brain are activated in a certain situation
Your concept of how much we know about the brain is stuck in the fucking 90's you ponce.

>>17949422
Really?

No, it's not. Please. We have come up with a few more completely unproven, POSSIBLE theories but we truly don't know shit. For every "That's totally how this that works" there is a "Yeah but not in this situation for some fucking reason."

This is why mental illness medication and treatment's are all fucking grenades. It's all "We think dopamine causes schizophrenia. Except like.. in this situation where we increased dopamine it actually cured it. We don't know why. It just did in that situation for some fucking reason."

or "So like... pumping electricity into the brain cured that guys depression. Why? How? Because like... electricity... man..."

Our understanding of the human brain is so fucking shitty it's the equivalent of "Kick it really hard and it'll start workin' again."

>>17949434
>>17949422
Let me be slightly more specific in my meaning here.

it's like the human genome. Sure, we can map it, we can identify what affects what sorta but to say we have any idea how dna is encoded, read, and functions then we would have cured every possible fucking disease by now.

Simple genetics can be altered like a middle schooler learning qbasic. They will create their first game by copy and pasting a bunch of shit they have no fucking clue how it was put together and pray to god it compiles when they smash in that f5 key.

The human mind, dna, genetics, all of that happy shit is so incredibly complex, so mind boggling abstract and seemingly random at times... by the time we truly know why the neurons fire off the way they do we will have become a new fucking species.

It's like that stupid ass fucking site that says they will "Totally read your dna" and tell you what it says about your health! Idiots really think that we can read DNA like a computer, like binary. No, all they are doing is saying "So like... people who had sequences that looked similar had a 50% of having diabetes."

it's math, it's statistics. The margin of error is so great that whatever bullshit information you can gleam will be worthless.

Its really frightening how little we know about these things and how we handle treating the associated medical problems. It's barbaric, really.

Compatibility isn't everything.

Those who truly love you will be there for you and want to be near you. If they don't feel strongly about you, they will go with who they truly love. Be it family or otherwise.

Abundance degrades endurance.

>>17947041
No matter what someone says, their intentions are always different.

>>17947707
if you go by the mantra: Either you won, or you won in experience, this is not the case.
I have been with a pretty selfish girl for two years.

A depressed person will think of it as time wasted, but as I got over my depression I am thinking to myself hell I learned a lot.

i do not hold my own punishment. I cannot use punishment to relieve myself of my own guilt. Because if I do I'll just be keeping myself back. And ultimately, make me be the reason everytime I fail and go inside this cycle of guilt/punishment/relief/failure/guilt

1) People = shit

2) The only person you can really trust and depend on is yourself, if you tell yourself anything different your just setting yourself up for failure.

3) mob justice is much more common place than actual justice

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>>17949574
T H I S
H
I
S

FUCK

Your gender equals your sex, no matter how much you complain about it.

>>17947041
never trust anything with a vagina

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That no amount of love, dedication or loyalty will make someone love you back.

>>17948660
Not true, most guys know the risk is not worth it.
Also smart guys know that there's an illusion that girls are more attracted to you when you have a girlfriend and that their girlfriend is important right now and on the long run.

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>>17947041
pic related

>>17949608
Why change yourself when you are already near perfect.

>>17947041
It was hard to face that most people are emotionally- and mentally-damaged--severely damaged--and sanely can't be trusted. Sadly, there are as many negligent females out there, who can't even show a child how to cross the street (ADHD). Easy to be a whore (lazy), but being a mother is beyond 99.9999% of females. Both my parents were whores (emotionally stunted, lazy rutters). It was harder to accept how many females are irresponsible because so many of them verbally and spiritually beat me down from their virtual pedestal with their better-than-a-god attitude that, unsurprisingly, resembles hysteria and psychopathy.

Sugar and spice and everything nice is bs: except that sugar is bad, spice is a worthless scam and "things" in turn are used as they use. Most males are just as bad: Note all the guys babbling on here whose culmination of their life-long learning is that they can tell someone to 'f-off' and almost always get confused on the spelling of many three-letter words. Spelling even simple words wrong is a way stupid people pretend they're doing it on purpose when in reality they're merely too stupid to spell.

However, there are a few thousand intelligent females and males in the world: These are the only people worth talking with and listening to. It's the ignorant, arrogant masses that are in the way of thoughtfulness, civility and sanity.

>>17949624
A lesson I learned just now: avoid judgemental people like this dork.

>>17948591
Damn, that makes me sad you've apparently been around so many guys that see women as inferior that being treated like a person is considered awesome.

My gf is way smarter than I am, I can't imagine not treating her like a person.

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The world will not always conform to your expectations, so don't expect it to.

That there are people who have such godawful conflict resolution skills and are so extremely inconsiderate that they will choose to ghost you for the rest of your life over something you could have talked about and resolved in 10 minutes or less.

I went to a facebook page of a friend that's ghosting me. She's complaining about how mean and bad of a president trump is. Posts pictures of people criticizing how mean his comments are and how mean of a person he is.

And i'm just sitting here thinking "Well, at least trump doesn't have the heartless cruelty to completely ignore somebody and pretend they don't exist forever which is one of the most disrespectful things you could ever do to a person ever"

It's so stupid that people don't realize how horrible and stupid ghosting is. It's so stupid that ghosting is even a thing. Getting ghosted by this person will easily be probably by and far one of the most top 5 offensive things that ever happens to me in my life.

>>17947055
Don't agree at all

>>17948895
when I was young there was no interest in social topics. I never bothered with or watched soap operas, I never took part in inuendos and never learned to manipulate people. my interest was science and to aquire as much knowledge as I can, because "knowledge is power" was my mantra.
I never cared for what people called me in school, or what they would say about me, i was completely phased out of it.
Only when I hit a wall, because I had no chance in hell to get a GF, i started reading here, I started talking more to people and I started studying human interaction.

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1. If you feel like your significant other is cheating on you or has feelings for others, you're probably right.

2. Life is not a movie. Being sad, dejected, alone and miserable won't set in motion a plot where the sad protagonist will eventually meet something/someone that makes him feel alive. Life can, and will, coldly pass you by if you allow it.

1. You don't choose your family because you're born with them, unlike friends.. Judge them both equally. If your family tree has rotten apples, pluck them and throw them away.. before they rotten your life completely.

2. It's ok to help others, and ok to ask for help. But dont expect them to. No1 influences your succes more in life than yourself.

>>17947041
Don't fall in love with people you meet on the internet, especially if they leave in a foreign country because LDR are painful and fucking expensive.

>>17949624
There is wisdom to be found in almost every human. But overall we're all stupid because we live in a society where the masses are put trough suffering. Every country in the world has a debt. To who? Why?

There are enough recources to make this place a walhallah. Enough technology to automate certain professions. Enough food to feed the world. Yet, we're all trapped within this illision that we owe the world. Imagine how stupid that is.

>>17949285
Being quadropolegic is people's biggest fear and there are happy quadropolegics out there. So...yes, I am saying people can overcome insane things. Literally Viktor Frankl wrote about the holocaust and the worst trauma's that humans have experienced and literally wrote that those who survived did so because they had a higher purpose that made the pain part of something bigger. Im not sure which things are worse than being quadropolegic or the holocaust, but I still get there are examples of humans overcoming it.

>>17949854
Uh, the holocaust didn't happen.

>>17949712
Yeah no. You don't fuck your friends because one of these people are going to get hurt or the ones that are being told that they were the only one.

Then again, most people just think "Me. Forget everyone else as long as I get mine." and this makes me sad. Worse, I still give them a the benefit of the doubt because I so badly want everyone to be good.

And even then... I just want them to be good in the end as well. He will forgive his children so why wouldn't I?

>>17949854
You're telling me that every holocaust survivor came out completely ok without any sort of PTSD or emotional fucking issues? Are you fucking kidding me right now?

You can survive the trauma. No shit. The damage will stay with the person their entire fucking lives. Which... WAS THE ENTIRE POINT. IT WASN'T ABOUT THE SURVIVING THE INITIAL TRAUMA BUT THE FUCKING AFTEREFFECTS... FUCK.

>>17949898
Overcome it. I'm literally saying humans do amazing stuff and have overcome everything. People can overcome...some figure it out on their own, some need help and a toolbox from others who have already done it or a guide through it (like a therapist or coach).

But every single form of human trauma has the ability to be overcome. I think making victims experience trauma over and over and place them in a role that limits them is a heartless thing to do. Their life can be greater than that.

>>17949898
This anon is right. For every individual it's different what scars them or not. But there is truth in saying we humans can adopt to alot of bad shit. Most of the times though the damage is kept away from public eyes, instead of them completely getting out of it ok.

Tldr: You are right for the most part, there's also truth in what the other says.

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>>17949010
>Maybe look into why the fanbase is the way it is today.
They are all entitled little shits. The gamers all act like if something isn't perfect, it's literal garbage and you should have paid them to play it, and indie devs will, no matter what, shit on you constantly for whatever you do, say, or ask.

LIke, once, I had a guy I know irl invite me over to "play with gamemaker" (i.e. sit around and watch him do it and get told to fuck off whenever I'd ask or say anything) and even shit like "is there a function to clamp a value in here or do you have to do it yourself?" got met with basically "that's not a real thing, you're not a programmer, shut up" because I used the phrase "clamp". Genuine mistakes like confusing "floor" for whatever you'd call the lower value of the range of of a function are like another shoah!

And they freak the fuck out if you do basically anything that isn't 100% "making a game", but "making a game" to these people doesn't include things like doing art, level design, programming, seemingly anything that isn't using visual scripting in either Unity or GM. Literally any other activity makes you worse than Stalin to these people, if you can call them people. And god help you if you use another engine, or write your own.

Easily the worst hobby I could have possibly picked. A shame, because I like using the tools, but the community is fucking terrible.

>>17950024
Also, this goes for most tech fields, really. Web Developers are the only people worse than gamers/indie devs. Use the wrong JS library and you may as well be blacklisted for how much your peers will hate you. Despite it all basically doing the same things. Writing your own makes you a cave man that needs mercy killing, even if it's as simple as just putting one button on the page.

You're born alone and you die alone. Your friends aren't really friends -- most are just there to bide their time until something new comes along. The same goes for special others/wives/girlfriends. Life really is just a bunch of individuals trying to fill some sad void that ultimately took root in their childhood -- meaning that, no one cares about you because they have their own depressing shit to deal with. And everyone has depressing shit, without exception. Some are just better at hiding it.

I'm destined to a quiet, comfy, somewhat materialistic life. It's alright to be OK with that. People have different lives, and it doesn't make them any lesser.

>>17949953
Trust me, I know that humans can endure a huge amount of suffering. That is something incredibly charming about us... that we would do the dumbest shit, suffer so much in so the ones we love don't have to. Those same holocaust victims were all starving and the older ones, while literally fucking starving to death, would give their food to the younger people. They would make themselves hurt so the ones they loved would survive.

This is the entire reason why humans feel love. If we care about one another we are more likely to survive, no matter how bad it gets. If we didn't care about one another it would be a free for all. More people would end up fucking dead in the end.

I never denied that fact.

But saying someone is WEAK because their past traumas have a lasting impression?

that's dumb as fuck and anyone that truly believe that lacks empathy completely.

>>17947563
Who am I then?

>>17947635
Figuratively too?

Stop caring about what others think.

>>17950114
What? No, if someone is literally attacking you with a fucking knife it's ok to defend yourself.

That isn't murder you know. This isn't a "I think someone is trying to kill me so I'm going to go try and kill them first." kind of bullshit you assholes wish I would say. It's a literal, if someone jumps you in the street, if someone "shows up at your house with a shotgun shooting at you as an instigator and the law is on your side" type of thing.

What the fuck is wrong with you people. Christ.

>>17950114
All (101.1%) of countries have reasonable enough self-defence laws that you can and should do that, yes.

It always bewilders me when americans get all skittish about self-defence, as if the judge will seize all your assets and give it to your attacker's family in court or something. It's bizarre how scared americans are of self-defence laws.

>>17947041
People dont give a shit about you anyways.
Dont give them the ability to manipulate you, they will if they can.

>>17948460
this for sure

>>17949766
currently in a state of 2. but its so hard to overcome and do something about it

>>17947132
In my case, you got it all backwards.

You want some sound advice? Stop caring. Everyone is bee lining it. Winging it.

I call out on the bullshit. Life is a fabric of deceit and rose petals. People buy expensive jewelry for events only to return them the next day. Everything is temporary. Everything is fake and a lie. Being truthful and honest only makes you vulnerable and a target of manipulation.

>>17949248
This one is so important.

I wouldn't worry about telling someone how you really feel about them. If you hate them, no real loss if they never speak to you again.

But not telling those you love how much they meant to you before they are gone is something that sticks with you forever. And if they loved you too then it would mean more than anything to hear you valued them too.

If I could live my life again knowing what I know now,

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>>17947041
Happiness is different for everyone. There's hope even for those that could never reach what others call positivity.

Doing something is the only difference between successful people and non successful people.

>>17947635
Got it boss!

>>17948585
This.
Men will do anything for women.
We can't live without them, and it's out greatest weakness.

That no one gives a shit about you, what you are doing, or your own well being.

Oh they might show a bit of interest to try to fufill social expectations but if it requires more effort than fluffing a pillow they will bail on you despite you having helped them in the past.

>help a "buddy" move 3 times
>ask him for help once; nope he doesnt feel like it
>ask why
>he says it would require effort and it would screw up his gym time.

>see old lady slip on ice whilst driving
>park, and go up to her
>people are STEPPING AROUND HER on the ground as she moans for help
>help her sit up, finally people begin to rubberneck but im the only one helping her
>the store that she fell in front of sends someone out...with bucket of salt to deice the TOTAL ICE sidewalk that granny fell on.
>have to call an ambulance

>at another buddies place for a party
>his wife is there
>he gets absolutely smashed
>his wife starts flirting with me, touching my arm, telling me i should come by when i KNOW he isnt around
>rebuff her, you have a husband afterall
>later in the week i have confrontation with said now former buddy
>wife told him i came on to her and was groping her- spiteful bitch
>buddy wants to fight
>tell him to call up witnesses- other friends of ours
>he does
>turns out i was right
>he wants me out of his life, also the friends he called now want nothing to do with me


Life is SHIT, you slug through it and in the end you are rewarded with darkness and silence, sweet sweet darkness and silence.

>>17947041
Biggest lesson I've learned is that no matter how much I wish for it, no matter how many chances she gives me, if she's looking for purple and I'm red then she will never be attracted to me, even if she wishes she was.

Fuck I still love her, and I know she wish she loved me back, but she doesn't and she never will.

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Always turn your back on the world, before the world turns its back on you.

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>>17947041
First time I fell for a girl, I thought of her as an angel and treated her like one.

>Never again

>>17952230
dude i know ur shit about being red when she wants purple hit me deep cuz its so true. the sad thing is i know ill never be able to love someone like that again tho like thats the fucked up joke. there is such things as soul mates but ur not always theirs

>>17952223
damn right. because it always will.

Don't ignore people. It's hard to get ones you like

>>17948677
congratulations... you got yourself caught

>>17947041

>Monogamy is extremely difficult especially for long periods of time

Even though I'm a serial monogamist, I've lost faith in the classic definition of love and forever after. It has become a "how long will this one last" type situation, its like playing a game of relationship chicken when you breach the 3+ year mark.

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Quitters never win and winners never quit is bullshit. Knowing when to quit a situation (job, relationship, etc.) that isn't working out for you is an important lesson. I stuck with dead end jobs or shitty friendships which inhibited my personal growth before I figured this out.

>>17949603
holy shit this

>>17949766
Learned this the hard way. I always romanticized everything and expected something to "happen" to kickstart me into salvation. The only thing remotely resembling that was having what I assume was a nervous breakdown and I temporarily started getting my shit together because I didn't want to die. 3 years later and I'm sitting at my computer continuing my NEET life knowing full well I have to do shit all on my own to change but just not doing it. Bad habits are indeed hard to break.

I ruin everything. I don't get "better".

it was said, that it isn't people that have ideas but ideas that have people.

always be carefull of your thoughts and asses if they are truly your thoughts. you will be shocked by just how much is your thinking.

I fell int to /pol/s idiocy and as result I made this girls life a living hell. she loved me unconditionally her greatest crime was being a feminist.

and now that i think about it she was truly the true exception to the true feminist rule.

what a shame.

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>>17947041
Don't open yourself too much to people you've met on the internet, and certainly don't get attached to them a lot, since you never know when you'll be ghosted with the eternal feeling of "the fuck did I do?".

It's considerably easier to be a defeatest, to say the world is a terrible place.

To say you're a terrible person.

Work towards being a good person. Don't accept that the world is a bad place. If you do that, you'll only look for the bad things. If you try to be a better person you will. Trust the ones you love, that if they make a mistake they will tell you because they trust that you love them. That you will forgive them and support them in becoming a better person.

They will support you.

This isn't to say you can't feel depressed. That you can't feel hopeless. To ignore reality, to ignore the sadness will make things worse. But don't beat yourself up over it. Don't think that's how things have to be...

Everyone deserves to be loved.

Never stick your penis in the garbage disposal.

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>>17952884
>It's considerably easier to be a defeatest, to say the world is a terrible place.

That doesn't make the statement less true

>To say you're a terrible person.

Most are

>Work towards being a good person. Don't accept that the world is a bad place. If you do that, you'll only look for the bad things. If you try to be a better person you will. Trust the ones you love, that if they make a mistake they will tell you because they trust that you love them. That you will forgive them and support them in becoming a better person.

Well, until they die. Or they turn on you.

>They will support you.

You've lived a sheltered and blessed life if that is the case.

>Everyone deserves to be loved.
Bullllllllshit. Absolute bullshit. No one deserves anything, period. You live, you die. That's it.

>>17952915
We deserve what we fight for.

>>17947041
Sending roses is not adorable, it's creepy.

>>17952919
What, how?

>>17952929
I learned it the hard way.

>>17952931
Memetext or something?

>>17949621
Because narcissism is unhealthy

>>17947041

I left my decent job of four years to accept an offer at a place that paid better. The new place let me go after less than three weeks. My old job didnt have any openings when I asked to come back, so now I'm unemployed.

I guess the lesson is never try to get a better job, and be happy where you're stuck at.

>>17953054
why did they fire you?

>>17952919
Who did you send them to? That was probably the problem.

>>17953057
Sent them to a girl i really really liked, for her birthday.

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don't look into things too much
go with the flow
try to stop caring about things you know you shouldn't care about
if you want a GF/BF don't try and force relationships/love interests, just be casual, talk to people, make friends, be social, etc etc.

Find a hobby (not fucking vidya) to keep you sane, preferably art, which is really anything you create on your own. It will keep you from wanting to blow your brains out, and will always be an interesting quality about yourself.
also, in a pinch, marijuana is the best fucking anti depressant in the world.

>>17953093
eh, she probably thought you were creepy. Honestly anon if you had sent it to a girl who didn't think you were creepy, it would probably had been a success.

Don't do drugs
that much.

>>17953112
Maybe. But see if i ever do that again.

>>17953136
you totally should if you know a girl is into you though.

some stupid CMST class last semester taught me that if you're attractive to a girl, she isn't going to find you creepy, even if you do pretty creepy shit. go figure.

but honestly, if some girl I don't find attractive is trying to hit on me I'm going to reject her advances too.

>>17953149
lol depending on how late it is or how hard up you are and how much you've had to drink, you'd fuck the fat homely girl. Stacy will never fuck you.

>>17953180
when did I say stacy was gonna fuck me?
also I'd take my right hand over a fat homely girl any day of the week.

>>17953180
Susan is really nice, though.

>>17949298

You sir, have no clue what you're talking about.

>>17949298
Spahgetti spilt.

>>17953185
> I'd take my right hand over a fat homely girl any day of the week.
Then you are a faggot.

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>>17949298
Calm down, spergbait. You choose who you are.

>>17953218
Not him, but no you sound desperate and insecure if you'd rather be with a woman you're not attracted to than have to be by yourself for a while.

>>17953218
and I will gladly take the name "faggot" over the alternative.

>>17953149
Thinking about this for a while, if i know a girl is into me i probably wouldn't feel the need to try to get her attention like that.
Now i feel like an asshole. Maybe i am creepy.

>>17953245
maybe you shouldn't give a shit about it and think of it as a nice gesture

>>17953249
That's what intended it to be. But it wasn't received like a nice gesture.

>>17953256
then don't give a shit. If she can't accept it then fuck her, move on. If she truly finds you to be a creep then there's nothing else for you to do but swallow your pride and move on with your life.

>>17953283
This is what i did.

>>17953300
good, you're on the right path then.

go out and socialize with people tonight, and hit on another qt.

>>17949484
Ding ding ding. This guy's right. From a graduated Bio/Chem major. I took Neuro and that was what was said at the beginning of the year: that everything that was taught to us may be entirely wrong at the end of the semester.

We don't know how exactly depression works in the brain so we just throw drugs at it and hope they do the right thing. If not, switch the drugs to another class. Rinse and repeat.

Life isn't fair, and is never going to be fair. (It can be fairer though.) Things don't happen to people because they "deserve them," "had it coming," or "worked hard." You can "work hard" all your life and never be rewarded. You can kiss ass and reach the stars. Anyone that says, "it gets better" or any derivative should be shot for enabling entitlement. You make your own destiny, and you must put yourself into situations/take risks/seize opportunities that will lead to those circumstances that will put you on the path to joy and prosperity.

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>>17953234
>>17953232
Yes, you'd gladly jerk off over fucking a woman. This is 4chan. You're here. Makes total sense.

People fuck, ugly people fuck, and the day you stop being so insecure about who you're fucking, your life will improve dramatically.

Don't trust the words of random people on the internet.
Made me commit suicide four times, murder my unicorn, and some other bad shit. Stay woke

>>17953416
Best advice. I've fucked 10s and I've fucked 4s. The more moderate the rating, the better the sex.

>>17947077
>lol just love yourself girlfriend that's all there is to it xD

>>17947077
I've heard this a million times and seen it in many people. Unfortunately I'm still waiting to fall in love with myself.

>>17947041
Don't have sex with strange and loose women. You will get herpes or worse. Now you can never have unprotected sex again for fear of spreading your herpes.

>>17947077
>Some people are meant to be alone
False. God put us on this earth to go forth and reproduce. If you're okay with being alone then you're going against nature itself.

>>17947224
I can relate brother.

>>17947563
What if you don't keep any company at all?

>>17947041
Don't make monsters out of shadows of things you think you see.

Not everyone is out to stab you in the back.

Friends are an illusion.

>>17948882
I can somehow relate to your overall life because mine's been similar, and it honestly makes me feel a bit better about the future, even hopeful. This helped depression wane a bit, which is alright.

Whatever. Thanks.

I am responsible for my own reactions. I am in direct control of this body. If I don't reflect on my own actions, think about myself, or analyze myself, I would be a braindead as some of the people I see out there and that's not good

Don't force relationships to work. If things aren't going how you want, end it. Don't waste four years of your life wishing your gf was someone else, while she's wishing you were someone else. I knew I should have dumped her, I was asking /adv/ for months on how/if I should dump her...then she dumped me. Girls can sense when you are thinking about dumping them. Chances are if you think things aren't working out, she's thinking the same thing. Make the first move, it'll be much easier on you.

Also don't go on a Tinder spree and fuck 12 girls over the course of two months then have an STD scare. I'm just gonna fap once a week, focus on my job, exercise, play guitar, and wait for the next girl to arrive. Not chasing women is also a huge lesson. Don't worry about women, worry about yourself.

Sucked, man. Oh well, back to focusing on myself until the next love of my life arrives.

That my best is rarely ever good enough and that things can turn worse then you ever thought.

>>17947495
Sure, if you're from the South.

>>17948882
That's horrible, what you needed was to be enrolled in a school for the gifted.

>>17949276
>Signed, a person with autism who's been bullied and rejected but chose to turn their life around.
Were you diagnosed by a neurologist or is this your self-diagnosis?

>>17949674
>It's so stupid that people don't realize how horrible and stupid ghosting is. It's so stupid that ghosting is even a thing.
Ghosting has been around forever. We just have a word for it now.

>>17952180
>if she's looking for purple and I'm red then she will never be attracted to me, even if she wishes she was.
Is this code for politics?

>>17953112
>if you had sent it to a girl who didn't think you were creepy, it would probably had been a success.
You can't tell how they're going to react just by looking at them.

>>17948537
Keep feeling sorry for yourself

I was an sjw feminist beta faggot who said things like "Women are morally superior to men, they are more emotional and empathetic"

Then I started actually interacting with women, having relationships, and having sex. That's when I learned the truth: that you're all fucking insane

Stop wishing for things, and start working for them.

I thought my life was "good" until I was literally on the fine line of death (no heart beat - fully conscious, whilst the ambulance crew worked at getting me going again) to realize that I still wasn't truly happy. Work for the shit you want, every day, bit by bit, and (very seriously, very instrospectively analyze this) don't make excuses for yourself.

>>17954838
>Girls can sense when you are thinking about dumping them
This is so fucking true.

>>17949318
The man knows what the fuck he's talking about but he isn't the first to come to that conclusion. I've heard it from plenty of other men--never love a woman more than she loves you.

>>17954942
Easier said than done. I feel like dying everyday. I have no motivation. I'm a college dropout and I'm lost in the world working minimum wage.

>>17954869
Adding to your post, it wasn't even called ghosting. That meme word appeared somewhere around the late '00s.

In regular speak, the word itself was called disowning, cold-shoulder, ostracizing, excommunicating, or just flat out ignoring someone to death.

to learn how to love your own self before loving someone else, still learning that now.

>>17947041
Everyone dies, whether you like it or not, so cherish everyone or suffer the lack of closure when they go.

>>17947707
I don't think this is necessarily true. Perhaps >>17947563
would be something to consider

>>17947041
that my children are the most important part of my life.

>>17953055

They said it was because they didn't think I was a good fit.

This is despite that I was immediately reassigned to a completely different job after getting hired. I was hired to be a software engineer, but they instead told me I had to help with the repairs of the new building that the company offices were moving to. I was essentially doing construction work for two weeks.