Can guys and girls really ever be friends without some level

>>17945523
Honestly no. The man is interested in the woman as a sex partner more often than not and the woman is interested in the man as an emotional partner more often than not. Women and men can't be friends without there being some sexual and romantic tension. Men and women childhood best friends either grow apart or end up together for this reason.

>>17945527
Eh, I disagree. I've had married friends who were definitely not interested in me and vice versa.

>>17945523
girls can be friends with guys, but guys can't be friends with girls

/thread

>>17945536
They can. Imbecile.

>>17945523
I have a great male friend, and thankfully we both went through the 'should we/could we date' phase at different times, so at any given time there was someone who just wasn't interested, and we've now both moved on and are great friends with our own partners.

Yes, they can, but it takes maturity and each side having options. Most of 4chan will say no, because they're either young and completely dominated by hormones, or because they're so lonely that any girl who pays attention to them is immediately a romantic pursuit.

I don't fall in love with everyone I get along with, because there needs to be something deeper than simply being a good drinking buddy or sharing a hobby for me to want to spend all of my time with them.

>>17945523
>Can guys and girls really ever be friends without some level of attraction going on?

Yeah, i'm sure there can.

I've definitely got female friends I'm not at all attracted at all to.

But even if attraction exists, it doesn't at all mean that it will be acted on.

>I.E. I have a friend, I think she's hot. I've told her as much. She thinks I'm hot, she's told me as much. Thing is, I think of her as a little sister and can't ever see myself ever wanting to be with her or to touch her, and I've heard she thinks of me the same (as an older brother). That flirty banter is just how we interact with one another, and it's more part of how we encourage one another than anything else.

And even if it's acted on, it doesn't mean it needs to change anything or lead to a relationship.

>My best friend is female. At one point, maybe a couple years after becoming close friends, we became FWB's because we were just drunk one night and said fuck it, why not. One day we stopped because I just literally said, "Hey I met someone i'm interested in", she just said "cool". All that changed is we stopped having sex. That was maybe two or three years ago, still best friends.

People can be more flexible than you think.

Unless the individual is ugly, it's pretty much a given you're going to notice that they have a nice ass. I am ultimately somewhat attracted to most women I know. But I don't really think it's that big a deal, aside from an occasional boner I need to hide if they get touchy I don't think it's that hard to keep it from negatively affecting your friendship.

>>17945523
>>17945527
>>17945536
Thanks desperate virgins.

My best friend is female and I've known her for about six years now, I wouldn't ever touch her. She's not even ugly, she's pretty, slim, big ass, but I feel no sexual attraction to her at all, and I have a girlfriend. Just yesterday I went to her house so we could talk about life and we were both there, alone, in an empty house, and imagine this... Nothing happened.

You don't have to wanna fuck everything you see just because you're a man.

>>17945769
>You don't have to wanna fuck everything you see just because you're a man.
No, but a lot of men do. I just think it's more important to be able to control those desires and work around them, rather than try to pretend they arent there. At least, that's how I handle friendship with attractive women.

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>>17945523

Sure, but I'm a grown ass man.

There's a few girls I'm friends with that I'd be open to the possibility of fucking. There's a few girls I'm friends with that I would fuck but I literally just can't due to the circumstances of our relationship (co-workers, exes friends, family friends, etc.,) Then there's a few girls I'm friends with that I've been friends with so long and been through so much with that the idea of having sex with them is physically repulsive.

I can compartmentalize my relationships because I'm an adult and its a skill that I acquired over many years of being a fucking idiot.

by the seems of it if you get past the shall we fuk phase you can be great pals but if not you gotta survive until you both realize you don't wan to be in each others pants

Most/nearly all guys will think about having sex with their female friends, but that could be all there is. Alot of guys either feel alot of tension at there being women they interact alot with that they havent fucked, or they only interact with women that they want to fuck/have a relationship with. For those guys it must be difficult to have female friends, but for guys who aren't extremely hung up on sex, it's fine.

As a guy I can only speak for guys though - I have no idea what the fuck goes through the brains of women.

>>17945769
look at mr hotshot right there
you have a girlfriend (and so do i before desperate virgin meme) so you have your needs satisfied

fucking retard

>>17945523
Of course guys and girls can be basic friends. Get a female coworker who's older than you. You probably don't want to bone her and she probably thinks you're just like her kid.

>>17945849
I have a gf for the last eight months. There are five entire years before this in which I didn't fuck my best friend.

All of my best friends in life have been female, actually, simply because it's easier to talk about feelings stuff with them and they listen more.

>>17945840
>I have no idea what the fuck goes through the brains of women

air, since its empty

Then what does it say about men and women who have fucked or become fwb, but still try to maintain the "friendship" title?

>>17945523
yes, but you obviously wouldn’t know anything outside of it because, of the few female friends you have, you have no grills to hang out with and you get your little 3 inch dick all excited every single time they call you “bro” or “dude.” You obviously are too damn lonely to figure out that platonic relationships with women exist and the fact that you can’t understand that your little 23yr hormones craving for 14yr pussi is somewhat of a god damned disease is just pathetic.

>>17945523
It's called ugliness, OP

>>17945523
I'm bisexual which means I'm incapable of having friends. Woe is me.

>>17945523
Male here, have about the cutest girl ive ever seen as a gf and she treats me well.
Still think about fucking random 6/10 friends.
im sure it goes the other way too.

>>17945523
>Can guys and girls really ever be friends without some level of attraction going on?
I think most of my friends are somewhat attractive - they look good. And I guess they think I am pretty as well, or at least they say so. But I don't have any desire to fuck them, I don't feel any definite sexual attraction towards them, I don't feel jealous if they date/fuck, I don't feel anything sexual or romantic for them.
In general I try to be friends just with guys who have a stable relationship, don't have a high sex drive or are ridiculously good looking and lucky with girls, so they don't get crushes on me because I'm the only female who pays attention to them.

>What are some signs, from both the male and the female side, that the other person wants more than friends?
I try to build friendship with guys just if they'd be my friend if I was a guy. For example I try to become friends with guys I share a lot of interests with and if we have the same sense of humour.
Some good indicators might be:
- frequency of conversation: no texting all day every day, no menial conversations about life
- general tone of the conversation: no constant compliments, no excessive niceness, banter

Oh boy, it's another "I've never had a female friend, let me tell you all the ins and outs" thread.

The majority of the time, no, there's usually one trying to fuck the other, and it's usually the male.

That being said, it's entirely possible and not uncommon. My best friend is a girl, known each other for about 15 years, we bonded over a comic book I brought to high school. We're both attractive, and there is absolutely zero romantic tension between us. We go out to eat together, watch movies together, and it feels like I'm just hanging out with any other friend. She's marrying her boyfriend of 7 years, and I'm so proud of her. Even if I were secretly, madly in love with her like some people in this thread are sure to suggest, she's my best friend and I wouldn't dream of ruining what is in all accounts a nauseating show of true love.

So, yes the can, if both people involved are responsible and have more things on their mind than getting their wick lit.

>>17945859
I go out and grab beers with a friend that I mouth fucked a few years back. I was just talking to her last night, in fact. She wanted to recommend a movie. Doesn't seem weird, we don't bring it up all the time.

>>17945769
Judging by the amount of emphasis you put on her sexual features shows you have an attraction to your friend, be it conscious or not.

>>17946075
Actually a better example, I currently live with a girl I had sex with a few years ago. It NEVER comes up, I forget about it all the time, including on anonymous image boards.

>be me
>talk to my Christian female friend far away
>months and months talking on and off
>we had a strong attraction to each other
>the attraction dies because distance
>we continue talking
>she is attracted to me as more than a friend
>I feel scared because every single LDR I've tried has bombed
>reassure her she's a great "friend"
>weeks go by
>we continue talking for hours
>ask her once and for all if she'd be willing to move to Miami and be my wife
>tell my mom about it, rarely speak to her about something unless it's serious
>mom approves
>friend tells me she prefers I move in with her and her family
>i tell her we can move in together in privacy and share intimacy
>she doesn't wanna move away from family
>i will never force her to do something she doesn't wanna do
>back to "just friends"
>wonder if I should just move on
>feel guilt doing so

JUST

Point is not the attraction/tension, which is likely to happen. I'll side with other anons there: after years of fuckups I can decide to ignore it or avoid to act out of it, and basically wait until the chemical rush is over. Then I can be friend forever. This of course applies to people I actually enjoy spending my time with but for reasons I don't want to be romantically or sexually involved with.

>>17946077
Judging by how much of a huge faggot you are it shows you have been fucked in the ass, be it conscious or by Bill Cosby.

>>17946421
You can be anyone on the Internet. Why be a piece of shit? Keking at your life

>>17946450
You can be anyone on the internet. Why be triggered? Keking at your no balls

ask mohammed about that.

>>17946452
This fucking guy is so bad at comebacks that he reiterates anons last comment and tweaks it in a manner he thinks is clever and witty. Ffs dude you're pathetic.

>>17946459
This fucking guy is so mad right now he is trying to analize comebacks on the internet to seem morally superior. Ffs dude you're pathetic.

>>17945523
Girls can be "just friends" with guys, but not the other way around. Girls can, will, and do hang out with guys they don't intend to fuck. They can compartmentalize sex and friendship. Men cannot.

I don't have a single female friend I would not bone. I just don't because I'm married. The antidepressants keep me from getting random boners in their presence. The trick is, always be actively pursuing someone who WOULD bone instead of pining after the girls who have "friend zoned" you. See if you can leverage your female friends into helping you find poon. Or, take them out WITH YOU while trolling for pussy. You'll appear more desirable.

>>17945559
he still likes you

>>17947209
>Girls can be "just friends" with guys, but not the other way around. Girls can, will, and do hang out with guys they don't intend to fuck. They can compartmentalize sex and friendship. Men cannot.

All this really boils down to is whether or not she's attracted. Women can end up in the same situation too, which is often forgotten.

This conversation tends to become very gender loaded, but the truth is that men are just as likely to friendzone women they aren't attracted to. I think the reason this doesn't *appear* to happen as often is because

>men are the ones who are pressured to take lead on courtship, ask her out and risk rejection, hence they have "friendzone" tales to tell

and

>men's standards for sex are demonstrably lower than their standards for a relationship. They will sleep with all kinds of women, which muddies the line between friend and lover. Women may be more likely to end up "friend with benefit" zoned than literally left in a state of complete and utter romantic and sexual rejection

>>17945523
The only record I have of women trying to be my friend is the time a girl said overtly she wanted friendship and nothing more.

I wasn't sure how to take it at first. Being a dude, I feel immense pressure from both my own biology and my peers to engage in vaginal penetration - if I don't successfully go all the way as a girl, I've failed to pass on my genes and that can be looked down upon.

I decided to agree to it, not because I wanted to bang her, but because she was actually a good friend and I enjoyed spending time with her. I figured it was worth suppressing my urges around her. Unfortunately, these days she's so tied up in her current relationship that we don't even hang out or talk anymore, but I guess that's normal.

This is perhaps the only time a woman has offered friendship and actually meant it. Most of them reject me either by flaking, ignoring me or just telling me they aren't interested. I can't think of the last time a woman said we can just be friends which is great because that answer is such complete bullshit.

I guess I got a bit lucky in that while I've indeed pined after women, I always sort of knew which ones were out of reach (or more accurately, obviously weren't attracted to me and probably never would be) and I didn't make the mistake of trying to act extremely nice and friendly with them, thinking it was going to get me laid.

I've only really had one female friend that was super close and that I didn't feel anything more for, so generally I'd say I'm not very good at having them.

The main reason we were close is we lived in the same house and both were going through long and gruelling phases of depression. I think we both just wanted someone to talk to so we'd chat till 5am about our shit, try and wake eachother up at a decent time if we could so that we didn't feel as shitty.

So I think if two people have the same huge mental flaws then you don't have that dynamic of "she will fix me, she's everything I'm not" which, while unhealthy, is kind of attractive.

>>17945523
short answer?
No?
long answer?
Stop fucking kidding yourself.

As a guy, I look around at all of my female friends, and they are all objectively attractive women. Now granted, I don't want to hook up with them per se, but if any of them ever out the blue asked me to have sex with them, I certainly would oblige.

>get friendzoned
>keep insisting because too beta
>years later still friendzoned
>decide to not give a fuck anymore
>fuck her (she was needy probably)
>start giving a fuck
>triple friendzoned
>move out the city and remain distant
>reunite in christmas party
>she wanted me as her emotional tampon goes in for a kiss
>NOPE, friendzone her back (had a gf back then)
>have an honest conversation about what had happened between us
>seal our relationship as a good friendship (we have a similar perspective and sense of humour and we belong to the same circle of friends)
>gf gets jelly because she thinks its impossible for me to be just friends with her
>I actually was just friends with her
>do nothing
>gf goes all "it was real in my mind"
>gf breaks up with me
>get needy
>try to close the distance with friend
>get an epiphany "can't fuck up, must rationalize this"
>realize I was just needy and reflect on the reality of things
>remain chill af and sometimes talk with friend about inane or deep shit

I still see her as a woman and that takes a toll on my pride of thinking that I'm just friends with a girl and has to remain that way so I'm planning on keeping the adequate distance, and because I know her too well I know we are really incompatible.

I've had a coup female friends, not any that I keep in touch with anymore. The one female friends I was closest to I caught feelings for and she lead me on, and it all culminated in my feeling like shit, I'm sure she felt like shit for rejecting me, and now we no longer talk besides once in a blue moon. It's sad because I did enjoy her and liked her as a friend, but when you develop those feeling for someone.. I felt like there was nothing I could do, I couldn't just hang out and talk to someone that I was pining for, it's too painful. So, in conclusion I'm sure they may be people out there who can have these stable relationship, but for me it's brought nothing but heartache

>>17945523
In the case of parents and siblings, I would say yes.

They can be friends. I have a number of close female friends and average female friends.

However, a close female friend will never be the same sort of close friendship a guy would have with another guy, and the same goes for girls with other girls. My friendship with my best male friend feels closer, we understand eachother more by both being men.

In my experience, when a girl sees me as "just a friend" she sees me as a beta male, thus she doesnt want to associate herself with me. So I will go with a no, although I am willing to be friends with girls.

>>17945539
Hey whore you can try to act smart but it doesn't work when you post on 4chan.

>>17945901
You need to be, not only literat but be 18 as well to post here.
Go.

>>17945523
Yes.
If you treat your girl friends like you would your guy friends, then you are really just friends.

I have guy friends who scratch their balls and sniff their hands while I'm in the room. When there is zero care about whether or not the person you're with finds you attractive, then it's platonic

Some people are just not really all that sexual and if their needs are being met elsewhere, they are perfectly capable of keeping things platonic.

Personally, I'm an extremely sexual person, so I'm not really capable of that, the only girls I can be friends with, without hooking up or things becoming awkward are those in a long term relationship with a guy I respect.

And I wouldn't really want to hang out with unattractive chicks, I don't like hanging out with unattractive chicks I have to suppress my natural reaction to them in order to avoid being a total douche. I can hang out with very average chicks but if I'm around them long enough I start appreciating their beauty and wanting to fuck lol, and I'm pretty attractive myself which makes it even harder.

I don't have any platonic female friends. I don't see the point of them.

>>17945901
What if it's because chicks are either attracted to him or take themselves too seriously and have no sense of humor?

Do I have metantal issues if I couldn't date a girl with a male best friend that she spends a lot of time with?

I just wouldn't like it, it would make me feel weird, probably jealous or whatever you want to call it.

>>17948839
Nah, it's weird for chicks to have close guy friends.

But if he's obviously a beta orbiter and less attractive than you then I wouldn't really care.

>>17946225
you haven't mentioned if you two were real friends and for how long.. sooo.. you never met the girl but you immediately want to jump into marriage?

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>>17948845

>Nah, it's weird for chicks to have close guy friends.

It is when you're young. Adults do it all the time with far much ease. I'm not saying cheating doesn't happen with adults but grown ass people are better able to compartmentalize their relationships and use their experience and perspective to reconcile their logical mind with their emotional one.

I have a very close female friend that I graduated college with in the same field of study so we contact each other regularly to discuss work, meet for dinner when she's in town and even stay at each other's houses for convenience purposes during our travels. She's married with children and I quite enjoy her husband as well.

Its also quite common for adult friendships not to be as intense and intimate as young friendships are. I love speaking with my friends and spending time with them but I have a job and a mortgage and a family and I just don't have time to intertwine my life with my friends' lives the way I did when I was in my 20's. We're not spending all night on the town or living together or going on trips together anymore. The opportunities for friendships to get weird and emotional just don't happen as often as they used to.

Its really all about age and context. People of opposite genders are more than capable of being platonic friends but there is a lot of context that needs to be accounted for.

Can young men and women be platonic friends? Probably, but its difficult. Can adult men and women be platonic friends? Absolutely, but context matters.
>Do I have metantal issues if I couldn't date a girl with a male best friend that she spends a lot of time with?

See above.

I think girls and guys can be friends. I've seen it happen quite often. I do think that girls and guys don't generally tend to be friends because of conflicts of interests. Guys and girls tend to have different interests and hobbies. Also, there's issues with the attraction between girls and guys which can create problems, especially when it's one-sided (see: just friends and orbiters). We've got a huge pick up culture (at least in the states). When you're attracted to someone, whether it be from their appearance or your common interests, it's often the case that you try to pursue them and gain their affection. Friendship exists on this path but it often serves as a stepping stone toward romantic relationship. It also doesn't help that everyone (both guys and girls) wants to get in bed.

>>17945523
Absolutely. I've got a good friend from work (male) and we're mutually uninterested in each other. It's great, I can go out for a coffee with him and we just nerd out about technology.

>>17948952
I'm 24 and have no female friends. If girls want to hang out it's because they want to have sex/ get into a relationship. The only girl who I would like to have as a friend wouldn't just want to hang out with me because it would seem like I'm asking her out. I had a friend at work but she wanted to have sex so now we're more of fwb.

The only females who I think of as having been my friends were one that I wasn't attracted to and went with my old best friend. And my other friends girlfriend. But I find her very sexually attractive. I wouldn't do that to hin though.

I don't get the core concept. I'd like a lesbian friend to be like a chick bro but lesbians seem to hate me. Gay guys like me though.

I don't know of any girl than that one who seems like she'd be cool enough to hang out with but not hot enough that I'd not be able to stop myself from banging.

Nope. Cause if I wanted a real friend males are less judgemental, petty and over all interesting. Only friends that were girls I've been with were never that interesting, but I was a beta orbiter.

>>17948912
months, on and off, but always there for each other.

>>17948952
>I'm not saying cheating doesn't happen with adults but grown ass people are better able to compartmentalize their relationships and use their experience and perspective to reconcile their logical mind with their emotional one.

By compartmentalize, you mean one or both of them is friendzoned, gay or in a relationship.

I really do not trust a lot of male-female friendships. Every time I see a girl with a "guy best friend", I assume one of two things. Either she's already friendzoned him and is - intentionally or not - leading him on for emotional support. This isn't so bad as long as she's not leading him on/using him for attention when it's convenient, and if he's just pinning away in the friendzone he should stop doing that.

The other scenario which does bother me is, it's safe to say that they are both postponing the inevitable, they are both harboring feelings of sexual attraction or have already explored that without telling anyone. I can think of far too many times where I asked a girl I was seeing or a girl I just knew about a guy she was "friends" with - she'd insist he's just a friend but then he ended up being her next boyfriend. I've actually had girls get mad at me for asking about a guy they're talking to non-stop and seeing every chance they get, like I'd really like to know what causes people to want to deny their feelings and lash out at people for saying something like "so is he your boyfriend or something?" That's probably a subject for another thread though.

>>17945523
any straight male who actively talks with a non-related female on their own initiative has at least thought one time about sex with them. sure the friendship could be fun and all but if they know they can have sex with them they'll instantly go for it. its just biology and your friendzoned guy"friend" is exactly the same. and why would it be a bad thing its only natural, so to all the females with guy friends, just give them a hint were not all alpha self confident chads and its hot when a girl has confidence

>>17945523
if you feel any confusion about this, it's because you're only interested in "befriending" attractive women

end of story

>>17946421
>being this triggered
bingo?

>>17948777
I don't act smart, I am smart.

I've had female friends before, so take your unsophisticated battle of the sexes back to your high school gym locker room.

One of best friends from highschool (i'm 24) is a women and a very attractive one at that. It is a pretty close relationship and we talk about everything and I really value it. I'd date/fuck her in a heartbeat but I know where we stand and I'm okay with it. Would I go hiking/canoeing with her? Absolutely, would I watch a movie with her, No.

Most of the girls I'm friends with, hell even my co-workers that are female I want to fuck, but you kind of be professional about it all. My best friends wife is also fairly involved in my life and again no problems with it.

Do I really want to be "best-friends" with a women, no. The one "best-friend" i had (who i wanted to date desperately and she knew) I eventually "divorced" her and we are nowhere as close as we were but it is much healthier relationships.


The women that are involved with in a platonic level in my life, I'm indifferent about. I wouldn't mind a few other close female friends. I think it can "work" if everyone is upfront about it. Hell even my ex'es best friend (they live in different cities, but her friend lives in my city). I'd gladly stay close friends with and party with but wouldn't fuck her unless, she made it blatantly obvious.

My best friend is a woman, and I don't think either of us are romantically interested in each other. She is very good looking and I recognize that, but I'm not attracted to her. We are very close, and in some ways it could almost look like we're dating, but that is definitely not the nature of our relationship. After all, she has a boyfriend and it is extremely rare for me to ever develop feelings for anybody. I also value our friendship a lot and don't want to lose it.

Now back in high school I was pretty close friends with a girl who developed feelings for me and it didn't do great things for our friendship. We weren't nearly as close after she confessed her feelings and high school drama ensued.

I think it can get really difficult for things to remain platonic on both sides the closer the friendship gets, but certainly not impossible. And even if someone does have feelings for a friend, they might not act on it or let it negatively affect their relationship. It just takes the right match of people at the right point in their lives. I think those who say it's outright impossible have probably had a friendship ruined or are very thirsty.

>>17945763
The best friend is lying to you about her feelings and dying on the inside, I guarantee it.

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>>17945769

Nope, not unless hes gay IE mentally ill

This thread intrigues me.

I used to come here no more than a few months ago, seeking for advice on how to deal with an experience that is still fresh in my head.

I'll discuss it here if anyone might be interested. If not, that's fine too.

>>17952365
id like to hear

>>17952370
Okay.

I got back from an almost year long exchange to Japan in late August of 2016, and had many wonderful experiences.
Out of four host families, the last one seemed to be a pay off: I was understanding, and communicating, at a high level.
To put the problem that arose in short, I developed a strong emotional connection with my last host mother--something that I've never had with my own family, or friends; no, I've never had a girlfriend. The whole situation turned into me being accused of being a home wrecker, but far, far worse, was her being called a cheater.
Eventually, I was cut off from them, only to have one son be indifferent because it's not his business, and the other pissed. (Although he said he didn't care, because he was more worried about his own trip abroad that would be effected be the divorce apparently spoken about in the heat of an argument).
I was ultimately told not to contact her ever again.

There are many more details that give depth to this seemingly simple situation, but many leave in disgust, simply calling me a degenerate.

You no further obligation to listen. Whether you want to hear more is up to you.

>>17952432
You have no*

>>17952432
spill my nigaa, this shit sounds interesting af

>>17952434
thank you for sharing.

your situation makes me interested. would you care to tell me more?

>>17952436
Alright.

I haven't pre-typed this, so fair warning to you, this might take time.

>>17952443
i have all night buddy

>>17952443
cool no worries

>>17952438
>>17952436
Out of the four host families I had, the last one seemed like a great payoff, as I was at the height of my understanding, and communicating of the Japanese language.
The program I went through to do the exchange is called Rotary Y.E.S.; the man who made my stay mostly possible, happened to be my fourth host father as well.
When it was his turn to host, he, and eventually, his wife, offered me to stay in Japan many times, and start a "new life," seeing how I taught myself everything I know about Japanese, and that I don't come from the most supportive of environments. I declined, as I was unsure how life would really be once I was on my own as a young adult. Also, Japan has agreeably strict foreign policy rules, so I thought that it was almost impossible with my lack of credentials (this part tied in with the end).
So, life with them seemed good, and we got off on the right foot, no problem. Shortly after, however, I started to realize how abusive the man really was. From what I heard, he had an abusive father, and many siblings, so he adopted some poor behaviors. For example, they have a small dachshund that hated me. One day, when I was trying to be playful, she bit me on the leg. I wasn't upset at all, as I thought it was my own naivety that got be bitten. But alas, the next morning, as I came into the living room, the man was sitting there holding the dog. Right when she started barking, he hit her. After that, until the dog feared being hit, he hit her. He, and his son, would later say things like, "I wonder if Hina got bullied before we got her" (a friend gave her to them a while ago).
Cont.

>>17952488
He would also toot his horn about how, if his son--who was 19, turning 20--would misbehave, he would hit him hard (emphasis on hard). He said he didn't like doing that though, because he "felt bad for him when he cried." I do not tolerate this behavior one bit, but what was I to do? Was I to argue with him, and be sent back early? I didn't want to ruin my chances, so when it came into conversation, I would simply go along with it, remaining neutral. I then realized that he was a covert alcoholic: he would drink every night, but since it's apparently a family tradition on his side, he was a strong drinker, which enabled him to pull off what he did. I never knew he drank that much until I lived with him, for he never smelled, or acted drunk--it was his escape, his elixir.
One day, after coming back from a trip where I discovered they fought a lot, I had been invited to take walks with my host mother, and her dog, around the neighborhood. Funny enough, I actually contemplated not going, but then I thought of that movie Yes Man, and how the main character's outlook truly applied to the goals as an exchange student of Rotary (you have to do speeches in the country's language, and things alike). With that, I said let's, and so we did. It was just as simple as it sounds: we walked around the area, walking along the narrow roads that intertwined with the jungle-like greenery, cemeteries, expensive houses own by the elderly, and small Shinto shrines. It was nice.
One night, during dinner, when it was just the mother, the father, and I, the mother had said something that the father didn't like regarding his job (something having to do with finances). He started to go off on her, and attacked her personally, saying how his higher ups don't share things with their wives because they won't learn, and then went onto attack her regarding something about her job (I didn't understand it entirely because of the slurring).

She began to cry, and then blamed it on her that she was making me uncomfortable. Her way of dealing with each slant was to sort of chuckle without making eye contact, and make a brief comment to the liking of, "Well, you only know that."
This is when I became absolutely appalled. He went out of his way, getting angrier, and drinking more, just to embarrass her in front of me. After she said something along the lines of "enough" with a defeated voice, and ready, trembling face, she left the small, sectionalized part of the room that was where we ate when we fried meat, and vegetables, into the adjacent living room.

>>17945523
Well, on one hand, anything is possible!
On the other hand, guys are attracted to pretty much anything that doesn't set off their gag reflex.
I have many successful coed friendships, but I've been in a committed relationship for a million years, and the majority of that is mutual friends.

I think if youre a serious couple, then your friends should be pretty shared, which pretty much neutralizes the sexual attractions, if you're normal and not all shady.

It was then that he held his head, and said, "That was bad. I'm sorry you had to see that." Without saying anything, I cleared my place, and sat in the living room with her, where she had already dried her tears, and was using her phone. After a little time, the man, embarrassed, went around the back to get his stuff out of the car. He settled in, and sat in a chair that was next to the couch that she was laying on. The TV was on, and something about a short factoid on a historical something or other came up. Immediately, the man remarked on how he knew that, but she didn't, because she is stupid. We said nothing. Before his leaving from the back, I saw him drink more, meaning that he wasn't done.
When I had gotten up to use the restroom, I pondered whether he would try to argue with her further. Just as I had gotten back, my instinct was right--I ended sitting there until he stumbled off to bed, because he didn't want to slander her in front of me. I suppose he was worried, at that point, about his reputation. I said nothing, and neither did she, but we were the last ones to go to bed that night. I wonder if she truly understood that I stayed up to protect her, or if she was forcibly blind to it all, so as to make the problem go away.

Cont.

If you're not understanding something, or the text is unclear, let me know.

>>17952536
It was from then on, I developed an urge to better look out for her, and to a lesser degree, her son, for I could sympathize, and emphasize a little, with them.

I remember that the walk after that night was a little tense. When asked about what that was, she casually responded, "That's normal. But my, you've taken notice to it, haven't you?" I was shocked that, to her, all that was a sort of normalcy. We gone on to discuss ethics, and how the idea--that they grew up with--of a perfect man and wife kept them together. There was no resentment in her tone as she spoke. I, on the other hand, was clearly upset, conveyed by my silence as she spoke, which is almost a faux pas in Japanese. That was the start of when things became a little different.

>>17952558
Type faster nigger im about to fall asleep but this is interesting

I would say that a certain level of attraction exist between friends, whichever the gender of both is, just because of mutual sympathy

But it doesnt scale up to the level of tangible sexual attraction, it's just affection

So men and women can be friends of course

>>17952558
Shortly after that, I got some bad news from back in the states. I wasn't going to have a place to live when I got back.

I didn't know what to do.

Like how I usually deal with stress, I go by my lonesome, and think very hard about what to do, while also giving myself time to release any built up pain.

Due to that decision, I become very recluse over four days--not greeting them when I got back, nor eating dinner, and generally not interacting. I didn't want them to know about it because I had other problems that weren't really meant to be known beforehand (financial, mostly); my sponsoring club had made strides to accommodate me, and I felt like I was becoming more of a burden, and less of a guest. So, I kept it to myself, only to infuriate the man, and actually make the mother think that she was the one who made do what I did. The man, understandably upset because I wasn't eating his food, and generally not respecting the house's rules by not greeting them, had lashed out. This was preceded by the fact that--after discussing it with his wife first, and gaining her trust about a certain matter that was smaller in comparison--I tried talking to him about something that I found insulting.

This was when I realized he is a gas-lighter.

"What do you mean? I don't remember that!"

He didn't want to let me say what I wanted to say.

"Tell me the truth! Be up front about it!"

I didn't know what he meant, but certainly, he was aware of what I was starting think about him. His insecurities started to overtake him, and it was obvious then. The wife tried to help me communicate my grievances, but he shut her up, leaving her only to say, "Why don't you understand?"

I didn't say anything. All I could say then after was, "I'm trying to tell you..."

I could only apologize then.

Cont.

Anyone still there?

>>17945523
>Can guys and girls really ever be friends without some level of attraction going on?
No. Attraction is what keeps people together.

You probably meant physical attraction. It's 'no' again. I don't want to stick around people I don't consider attractive to some extend. As soon as I consider someone 'not ugly', I'm comfortable with being around that person. But that also means I could possibly fuck that person. Will I go for it? No. But it's some sort of attraction, even if it's weak.

>What are some signs, from both the male and the female side, that the other person wants more than friends?
Whatever people tell you here, it's worthless. You'd have to weight in cultural background, social background and the current situation and you still might end up clueless. Almost all signs are just hinting at attraction. But you can't say for sure what kind of attraction that might be based on. If you want to know, you'll have to take risks and ask people. Still, they might lie to you. Keeping up harmonious 'just friends' relationships is tough if you're not ugly and a decent human being.

>>17952607

That night ended, and from there, I was fully aware of who he was, and what he chose not to break--that blasted, recycled abusive behavior from when he was a child. Something that one anon identified as a situation where a child grows to be whatever gets him accepted, and through, in life.

From there, the woman and I started to take more walks.

>>17945523
it's possible but not really. If you're going to meet some one of the opposite sex, as a straight person, and you enjoy them enough to be your friend you consider them good looking enough to associate with and enjoy their company, why wouldn't you also be attracted to them.

There's plenty of people that wish their friends or best friends were the opposite gender or they themselves just so they could be with them. friendship is intimate in its self.

>>17952613
It was apparent that I couldn't begin to "fix" anything. I explained to her, although I didn't use her scenario as an example.
We had then started to get more comfortable with each other, in that we started to talk more casually, asking how our days went, but then moving onto more complicated topics, like that of culture and things.

Cont.

Okay, it seems like no one is here.

If there are any more who want to see this fully finished, just say so. For now, I'll stop, and come back to check.

>>17952636
lol im here

>>17952636
your story is sweet in a way.

i had to look up gaslighting to see what it was and it sounds like something i deal with personally

>>17952679
Okay, a little more then.

We started to go out on walks every night. Once she had gotten back from work--she's a specialized nurse that goes out to house calls since most patients are elderly because of the imbalance of elderly people in Japan--and prepare the rice for dinner, we would go out on a walk. It got to a point were we were comfortably talking about politics, what Americans and Japanese people generally thought of X, and so on.

Before moving on, let me tell you a little something that you might not know too much about Japanese people.
They never familiarize, or associate themselves with others, by saying that one is like family, or a sibling, or even a parent. Japanese people, in that way, take it as stated:. As in, only blood relatives would actually call each other brother, or family.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but in America, at least, the idea of being able to come together as a community, and consider each other as family, is very common. As a Rotary Youth, I tried to share that cultural perspective with them, however, I found out that that's simply not how it's done in Japan; I accepted that.
A personal interjection if I may, but I do believe that, within good, reasonable terms, one should try their best to make connections with others that would then establish that feeling of "family."

Cont.

You guys European?>>17952692

>>17952701
I explained sentiment that to my last host family in the beginning, and although they looked sort of bad about it, it wasn't because they understood, but--I think--because they didn't meet some expectation that was considered good (keep this in mind).

On one of the walks, I realized that I was starting to become attached to Japan, and the people who took care of me. To me, through my disfunction, I felt that this was actually a bad thing. I didn't come to Japan to make too many ties, because I knew what I hardly didn't have in America, and assuredly, I knew that if I were to develop connections, then I would feel something terrible. I was afraid.

I didn't tell that to her directly, however. Instead, I expressed it in a different way I later regretted wholeheartedly.

>>17945523

Speaking from a guys perspective, I think it's possible to be just friends but depending on the level of closeness I think feelings and attraction might flare up eventually, especially if both parties are single and relatively attractive.

I think most people in this boat don't go forward with things because they value the friendship more than what could be.

I find it silly when people defend this point so aggressively, it seems like a defensive mechanism to deny any possible attraction to a best friend of the opposite sex.

It's only natural if your friend is decent looking and you are very close to each other, intimacy is just another way of showing your love for each other, and being so close to someone will increase their level of attraction to you and vice versa.

>>17952692
> deal with personally
I'm sorry to hear that.

>>17952714
She was starting to say that she was opening up to me--she wasn't being a typical, reserved lady of Japan. I told her I understood that; she had then started to say that she would miss me, but I said that I wouldn't, because of the distraction it bares. We started to discuss that, and uktimately, her feelings were hurt.
I remember that we stayed up, and I felt the need to further distance myself, by explains that in full. I held a straight face, and made her weep. I felt so terrible about it, and, in a way, was no better than her husband. I went upstairs, passed their room to which the door was open, saw him, and went to bed. I heard him go downstairs, and ask why she was still up (and with me, I presumed).

Cont.

>>17952714
Faster faster

>>17952725

The next morning, she was the most flustered I had ever seen her. A hurt thing, surely, would react the way she did. Poor girl. She said to me that she understood, and that she would discuss it with me the same night during our walk.

Her son took notice, and asked what she was talking about, but she declined to say.

It was then, that night, that she had said that she had read about articles Japanese people wrote about certain nationalities, and their behavior, influenced by cultural background. I told her that she wasn't quite right--she cut me off, and said that that meant she thought too much about it, obviously in anger because she was hurt. The nameお母さん (mother) was not to be referred to her any longer by me.

At that point, I realized I went too far; feeling sick, and disgusted by my behavior "in order to protect myself." How lame, I thought.

I had gathered the courage, then, to tell her something that I knew might well backfire.

>>17952725
keep going man, i'm still here

>>17952733

That same night, we heard some fireworks, and had driven just a little to see if we could see them. I then told her in the car with a melancholic tone, "I want to tell you something, but I not now." She had stopped to listen to that, and then moved on.

The night after was when I said it. We were a good 10 minutes walking distance from the house, and I asked her if I could say something. She stopped, looked at me with wide eyes, and said go ahead.

I stopped as well, and opened my mouth, only to shut it out of hesitation.

"Can I say it frankly?"

"Yes"

私は、喜利子のことがラブです。[I love Kiriko--yes, her name--in a more Japanese way, but still using love)]

Tears ran from her eyes, and she covered her mouth instantaneously.

アイ・ラブ・マシュー [I love Matthew ((yes, my name.) she said it in English, but with Japanese pronunciation]

Yeah, absolutely. I also never understood why people argue as though someone not having zero attraction means the friendship isn't "real" anymore. For me it's not like platonic means there is 0.00% sexual attraction. It means that you are not interested in being something other than friends, and that there is no room for sexual stuff within the bond that you have.

Having said that, I have had many opposite sex friendships but they were never that idealized "virtually boyfriend and girlfriend but not having sex" type that for whatever reason people seem to be after. It's a different dynamic to be friends. There's no physical stuff, at most a playful shove or a brief hug bye. You don't have tender little rituals and pet names for each other. They don't text to check if you got home safe or make time for you every other day. You don't get each other gifts for no reason or send good night/good morning texts. You keep it to yourself if you think their current bedpartner is shit. There's a more casual, loose dynamic.

>>17952744

I never realized that, because I listened so tentatively, because she could cry in front of me, but not her own husband, because even when we had our disagreements, and became angry, we never shouted in hate, but listened, and came to accept the other. My applied philosophy of being stoic, reasonable, caring, attentive--the last three she summarized as being "nice"--had led her to appreciate me, and in that, had also led her to look past my cold defenses, and understand my hardships that made me so resistant.

I want briefly note: When I said I love her, I didn't say it in any way passionate. I was--and still is--a matter of fact. We had never caressed, never held hands, never kissed--did nothing of that nature. Our bond was purely emotional. We didn't need to be physical. It was perfect the way it was. I can't describe it, other than that it was good to open up, and feel loved by, and cared for deeply, by someone else.

Although still in my youth,
I have never made someone that happy before (the word happy--I have it written in ink by her hand).

>>17947271
>the truth is that men are just as likely to friendzone women they aren't attracted to
No, I tell the bitch off because I can't bother pretending to be nice to someone I don't like. Women are just afraid of taking risks in general.

>>17952769

Good to know every man is literally like you, so we never would friendzone anyone. I was thinking, by why bother? You can make up my personality for me.

>>17952769
>Women are just afraid of taking risks in general.
Or you are underestimating that there are plenty of men who are concerned with being nice to someone even if they don't want to date them?

>have been friendzoned by a guy, he was nonetheless very concerned about my feelings

>>17952757

I can't remember if it was the same night or not, but eventually, the aspect of family was thought up again, and this time, through the connection that we made--the strength in words that was shared--helped her finally understand what I was talking about when I stated that bit about family: that connection, even lesser ones than the one we had, was in fact understood.
A few tears fell from her eyes, and she said, "Maybe Japanese people should think about that."
I regret the following response: "No they don't. Japanese people have lived long through the years without thinking about community like family. Forget it. It can't be helped."

She only nodded her head, as another handful of tears fell down her face.

She sometimes did that. Either nodded her head in silence, or said nothing at all. I like to think that she was simply thinking, but honestly, I disliked that reaction. I wanted know what she had to say, was all.

The end of my exchange was nearing, and it was just her, and I, a few hours before she was to take me to the Narita airport.

>>17952778
still here boi

>>17952778

We were facing each other across the coffee table in the living room. The husband was to meet us at the airport, along with my host brother after a handful of hours.
We had sat, together, silence. I started a dialogue that had me breaking down, telling her how sorry I was. At first, she thought that I was crying about leaving, but, right before I broke down, she had said to her dog, "Do you think Matthew wants to stay?" That triggered a catharsis that had her inappropriately going for what I call a Japanese hug, which is just going elbows deep, awkwardly patting the elbows, and then sort of turning the head to the side.
Moving on, she realized how lost I was. How sorry I was. To treat her the way I did, the lies I did to--again--"protect myself." Damn it, I thought . I asked her to hold her hand out, which I grasped. She positioned it into a handshake, which was a little awkward; nonetheless, I held it with both hands, and squeezed--lightly. I had lost to my emotions. It was the first time I cried in front of her, and I think she respected that. She said, "I don't have that much hand strength, you know," squeezing back a little.
I apologized, telling her that I was "sorry for squeezing--sorry for everything."
She looked at me, tears also falling, and said that the experiences shared were wonderful. "Thank you."
We called down just enough to start cleaning up ourselves. After tissues were thrown away, we went upstairs to help retrieve my bags from the room I stayed in.

>>17952825

Once we went up, I realized that there were a few clothes to put away still. She helped me fold them, and put them away. (I asked if she could show me how to fold them, to which she went Whaaat? I asked just to see how she would react, to which she promptly did, unknowing of my foolery. I had a chuckle afterwards).
After that, we sat on the bed together, and as we did, she said let's make a heart.

Note to readers, I will go into more depth with things that she did that were of this caliber after I finish. For now, read on.

I didn't object, and we made that heart shape with our arms--I saw just before that she had looked that sort of thing up. Anyway, she then took a couple pictures of us, having then brought her dog up to get in the frame as well.
When she returned , she sat where she did originally, only to say that it would be easier to sit on the right of me. She came, and sat thigh to thigh with me, holding her dog, and then having me make the heart pose with her again.

Cont.

>>17952850
After that, she set her dog down on her lap, leaving the dog's upper half resting on me. She sort of looked down, and fell almost into a gaze. I suppose it was one of sorrow.
We sat there for a long while, just looking away, or at the floor. Her dog sat there panting, to which the woman said, "Hina won't move."
I looked at her with sadness, but she didn't look at me back. I sat, and contemplated what I should say, so as to break the silence.

>>17945523

That's a BIIIIIG heart

>>17952859

I proceeded to have her feel both of my ring finger nails, as they have an odd bent shape to them (nail folded like a tent vertically).
Surprised, she asked if the nail was thinner, to which I replied, no.
After a passing or so, we finally got up, and got out things together. I had to dress up, wash up, and then move my bags out.

She had gone down stairs while I was changing and all.

Once done, I came down, then lifting my bags over head.
Once we got them in the car, and everything was checked out, we went inside once more so she could get her keys, but also, to hand me a small gift-yellow. A yellow box no larger than three hand put together.

"I bet you know what it is."

I didn't reply. Just sort of looked at it, and tucked away because she said she didn't want me to read it until I at least got on the plane first.

It was a normal drive. Like any, only we were headed to the airport. Once there, she said that now she'll have to remember where the car is parked because I won't be there.

As we were in front of the airport, we waited a little.

"Let would say it'd be okay to go with you."

I can't remember if I said anything back, but I know that I wanted her to go with me as well.

Cont.

>>17945562

This

if either of them is single then the answer is no.

>>17952882

We entered, and made a little small talk as she pushed my cart for me. Eventually, everything checked out, and we met the husband.
He was plain faced. He wasn't happy, but not because I was going; perhaps, because I was. He said that we were to meet the other Rotarians, but was stern, and said to not make them wait. I tried being cheerful, but he wouldn't have it.

The woman hadn't said this would be our last moment together, as everyone will want to talk with me, and mingle with everyone else.

She was right. Time passed, everyone said their goodbyes; then, all those who wanted hugs, got theirs. This was the first time I ever hugged her. The thing was, even though it was brief, and with one arm, despite her having both free, she hugged me. A true hug. See didn't even do that with her own son. Now that I remember, she had said to many that she would miss me more than her son.

The father shook my hand--a brief thanks came out--and then let me do the Japanese hug for the cameras. I have the picture on FB, and I realize how fake all of his smiles were for a lot of the others.

Once done, I started to go through the line, but turned around to wave goodbye. The father sort of--what I thought--shooed me away, using the excuse of me missing my flight as a mode of distraction. I looked at her, and everyone else, and then turned away.

左様ならGood Bye

Cont.

17952916
Three hours into the flight was when I had opens the box. Inside was a letter with cartoonish mushroom design as the theme, and a framed photo of her son who got back from the US (he had gotten back a week before I left), her, and I, sitting together at a rotating sushi belt place we'd oft visit.

The letter--short--had, in summation, said that she would miss me greatly; to contact her if anything is wrong, and you don't know what to do; and perservere, and finally, that we'd meet again.

"I won't say goodbye.

I loveマシュ(Matthew)

Thank you

Let's meet again"

It was later, when I had touched down in San Francisco, that I started to cry. I didn't realize how much this would hurt. To separate from someone who supported me this much, and who I did my best to reciprocate the feeling when it was maybe too late, was in so much shock. Why? I wondered. It overcame me.

That feeling again.

A different kind of loss.

I've already lost so many to death.

This time, however, the person was still alive.

Cont.

>>17952927

But I thought I needed to stay strong, too.

A week or so went by, and then I thought: maybe I can revive their offer.

I contacted her, and told her how sure I was that I wanted "go home."
She said to me, as she did before a few times, "Come home."

I was so excited, and it seemed like it were a real possibility. However, something happened.
She stopped responding.
I started to get worried,and thought that maybe it was because I was sending too much email, and that I had also done something wrong.
I started to feel hurt even more. I kept crying, and I wanted it to stop.
Later, I found out that I couldn't go due to a Rotarian saying that she wouldn't get me a small job, so I could go over there (she was thought to be my only way of getting over there).
I felt so miserable. And that's went I sent an email from the heart. I felt so heart broken.
"Home."
I told her that I would forget her, and that she'd always be in my heart, and idiotic things like that (and using ellipses like a faggot).
She had said those things to me first: "you filled a hole in my heart" "I've grown because of you" "I won't forget you"--and I only wanted to know that I felt the same. And that I was grateful. And that I love her.

A little more time, say a say or two, and I get contacted by the father.

"I saw the emails"
"Did you have sex with her?!"

I answered no, and explained myself to the best of my abilities.

>>17945523
My university degree was at least 85% female, it's completely possible to be just friends with a girl.

Well, I'm a gay dude and one of my best friends is a gay dude. We've never dated or fucked, nor has the prospect of either come up once, and we've been friends since we were 11. We're 23 now.

I know the thread OP asked specifically about men and women, but that's only because the OP is a heteronormative bigot.

>>17952956

"I've been hearing about what you two had been doing." [i honestly think he was lying so as to coax the "real answer" out of me, but I trust her]
"What did you mean by, 'Thank you for everything'?!" [I said that because I wanted her to know that she showed me another path in life that was lonely]

I explained it to him, but I didn't explain to him that I couldn't refer to her as mother, and other things discussed, because I was trying to word it as carefully as possible.

I said that she was like a mother to me.

"In what way?"

I explained that she listened, cared, and helped me. My own wouldn't have down what she did--this still a lie only because of the "mother" title.

"I see.
I must have made a mistake," he said.

"Now, tell me what is your reason as to why you'll struggle overseas. I need to talk with her."

I took time typing it all out, and sent it, only to have him ask about the letter.

"Show it to me. And don't tell her about it ."


I objected, and said that I would ask her first.
I should have waited a little longer.
I said it was okay, because we weren't hiding anything.

"Ah, it was like the email you sent."

I said yes, it was.

"You're breaking up a married couple, you know.
"I don't want you to intervene in my family!
And I want you to stop contacting her.

I asked him to wait, and asked if he knew the different degrees of meaning the word "love" holds.

He blocked me after that, but I ended up giving an explanation anyway.

i think some people can and the people that think its impossible are the poeple that cant, im guy and i have female friends and while i probably would have sex with most of them if they wanted to thats not the reason im friends with them im friends with these girls because i enjoy their company, but i honestly feel like girls are just incapable of fucking without emotion, well most of them, and so i generally try not to go there since i know it can fuck up the friendship. also just because a girl is attractive doesnt mean you have to fuck her i consider most of my female friends to be hot but theres so many girls in the world why should i be fixated on these particular girls

>>17953013
Greentext this shit I'm not reading a fucking 5 hour play.

>>17953013
5 hours is an understatement, keep going though cant stop half way

>>17953013
After all that, and hearing that they are going to get divorced, I felt even worse.

I wanted to make sure that she was okay. I feel so terribly about all of it. Had I just calm down, and not have written such an email, then them fighting, and what not, wouldn't have happened.

I got a birthday card from her a month later, and a letter saying everything is okay.

Since then, I've been wanting to send her back everything she gave me to remember her; asking her to then tell her husband that she sent me the card, as well as show the letter that is intended to be my last.

>>17945769
>my best friend is female

i'm not a faggot who's gonna say
>MEN AND WOMEN CANT BE FRIENDS
because I have good female friends, but your best friend is a girl? You kind of sound like a sensitive little bitch.

>Guys don't wanna talk about their feelings when they hang out!

>>17953050
>>17953109

I think this was more for me than anything else.

I have to work soon, so I can't green text, or go into more detail at the moment.

thanks. Will check back to see other anons' opinions on the OP question.

Thanks guys. Helps get stuff off my chest.

Yes they can.

I hang out with a small social circle of people at my college, which consists of more girls than guys. Having female friends is a great social footprint, which makes you more attractive to other women, especially when other women see you with said female friends.

that said, (if given the opportunity) I would definitely bang 4/5 of the women in my friend group in a heart beat, so there is physical attraction, but seeing as there's mutual flirting with most of the guys in the group, it's really no big deal.

I'm kind of in this situation myself. This one girl approached me first to ask me to correct her assignment. Back then I wasn't really close with her, to be honest I didn't really think I need to.

And from that one message we bond over pretty fast. From group study to hanging out at the park, and then eating around on the streets, trying out different food every now and then.

Over the time I developed feelings for her, while her feeling for me is still unknown. She got this kind of charming personality that even if you didn't fail for her for the look, you would eventually fail for her personality. I think she's made it pretty clear that she just can't have feeling for the guys the she grouped as friends.

>>17953225
if you're spending one on one time with her and you feel there's mutual enjoyment, you should ask her out imho

>>17953135
dw
i might greentext it all later myself actually, it's pretty interesting

Yes, but I still want to fuck her.
Shes nothing special, I just like sex.

>>17945523
Only a sith deals in absolutes anon, sometimes they can be friends, sometimes they can't.

>>17953114
Matthew the homewrecker. You should never have gone to Japan to shit it up with your unrelenting vomit of what Western culture should be. The child will now have to walk on eggshells whenever he sees one of his parents, and The mother is now going to face divorce stigma far worse than what you know in America. Meanwhile, you get off scoff free. My advice: never go back to Japan. Ever. Most definitely not to fissure more lives by spreading your insipid poison in a Japanese university.

>>17953114
I'm busting my ass here trying to get into Japan on the points-based visa, and here you are giving Americans the worst impression possible in Japan. You're worse than the Roppongi incubi. Plz never go back to Japan. I would never want to let a gaijin like you push incompatible ideas at my Japanese university. It's not our culture to change--those of us who want to join the Japanese culture on the most superficial level need to accept all Japanese customs, social and otherwise. You can't. Stay out.

>>17952894
/thread

>>17945523
You can have attraction without wanting to be more than friends. It goes either way.

>>17953939
Have you been diagnosed with autism?

>>17953525
I don't quite understand. I don't know if I can understand.

>>17945523
Yes, but you both have to be with partners that you feel are more attractive than what the friend is

>>17945523
yeah the girl has to be ugly as fuck or the guy has to be gay. if you are attractive guys are only your friend so they can fuck you or waiting for your boyfriend to make a wrong move so they can fuck you.

>>17955036
that's not true
i have a female friend and i don't want to fuck her, she's good looking though

I'm married and I have a girl friend I'm not really attracted to but we share/buy porn together, it's nice

>>17953912

I forgot to say that, after talking to my host brother--before the card--who got back from his exchange a week before, he assured me that they were not getting divorced, and that everything is okay. From the sound of it, they've chosen to ignore, and move on--and I think that's best, too. I was absolutely relieved to hear that.
The person who had initially said they were to divorce, was the host brother who I lived with. He had called me to vent his anger, only to reveal that he was more upset that he couldn't go on a trip if they were to divorce. That was strange, but that host brother was always lashing out, and overreacting, so, in a way, it wasn't a huge surprise. Also, his sibling laughed in disbelief about what he said regarding a divorce , but as I said, it was something that was probably heard during their argument.
After being very cooperative, and answering as many questions as he could about their situation, it was clear that they took the path that catered to the best ourse of action.
The card, and letter, was obviously sent in an attempt to, overall, reassure me that everything is okay, and to make sure I knew their address for future reference. I appreciated the sentiment, but I don't think that was right of her, as she clearly had to go behind her husband's back.

A few things that were said by the other host brother were taken with a grain of salt, but I'm just glad that not everything has fallen apart.

About insipid ideas: I only explained social interaction, and word usage with difinitive clarity. Everything else is clearly up to individual interpretation--I stated that often during dialogues.

Anyway, Japan was a personal journey to begin with, and so I never planned to go to university there. It was only when I tried to revive the offer, that university there was briefly consider.

Honestly, there's a lot more behind it, and frankly, I don't need to prove myself here. If questioned, or brought up in discussion, I would reveal more.