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Do I need to get laid before I can claim to be asexual? Do asexual

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Thread replies: 26
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Do I need to get laid before I can claim to be asexual?

Do asexual people really exist or am I lying to myself?
Is there hope in finding someone who is also asexual to form a relationship with? Where should I look?

Will I only find people who are not really asexual but only feel like having a relationship without sex for a while or something fake like that?
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asexuality is a mental disorder. just like being gay or transgender.

the problem is that it gets so hyped nowadays as being a way one can be born.
it's like fat acceptance. it's ok to the point of trying to get society to stop bullying those people who already struggle a lot with their disorders. but as soon as it tips over into "it's natural and beautiful and you should accept it and even compliment me on being so courageous as to live my asexuality/size/gender/whatever regardless of the judgement i face every day", it gets really bad.

that's what happened to asexuality.

no, it's not something you "just are".
just like there are no people who "just have anger management problems" or "avoidant personality disorder". those things are fucking real and they suck ass. but they are treatable. maybe it will be fucking unpleasant. maybe you will have to discover that you are one idiotic cunt. maybe you will have to relive very painfull memories. but god damn itms worth it. the sooner you start the faster you will be done with this teenager-special-snowflake bullcrap.

good luck op
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>>17940367
"asexuality" is a symptom of physiological and/or mental illness. it does not occur naturally in species that rely on sexual reproduction. i recommend consulting with a physician.

t. science
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>>17940441
>>17940404
Well I've been seeing a therapist for 2 years until I stopped. He said he didn't understand me. I don't know if I want to look for a new one, it was too much money.
Is it worth it? I don't know if it really gets in the way of my life except that I would like to have a romantic relationship with someone.
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>>17940404
> Asexuality is a mental disorder
As opposed to what? Going to a place filled with toxic, cancer-causing smoke, ingesting a liquid that destroys your liver and risk getting into fights (possibly shot or stabbed), and risk terminal diseases / 18 years of child support, all so you can experience 3-6 seconds of endorphins shot into one part of your brain by another part of your brain?

Yeah, that sound much healthier to me.
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>>17940448
>he said he didn't understand me
That probably meant that you either weren't willing to cooperate with his advice, or he could tell you were lying to him because what you told him was inconsistent.
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>>17940367

yes. there is asexual dating sites, though you will likely have to get involved with someone who is long distance, at least at first.,

you can also specifically get to know people who are paralyzed from the waist down or have similar issues with their junk and if there's a spark, date em.

one thing you have to remember is that its not going to be easy. there will be many times where you'll think its easier just to focus on self love. and thats okay.

but dont get butt hurt and say its unfair that you can't get an asexual bf or gf and then act like a cunt about it because thats just the way the world is and its not going to help
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>>17940441
> it does not occur naturally in species
Wrong. Asexuality occurs almost universally in the animal world as a time between estrus cycles (heat).

When the female is not in heat, the male doesn't even consider sex with her. It's a waste of effort and resources.

Stop projecting your own addiction to testosterone on the rest of Nature.
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>>17940477
>but dont get butt hurt and say its unfair that you can't get an asexual bf or gf and then act like a cunt about it because thats just the way the world is and its not going to help
Yah I definitely won't be like that.
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>>17940464
i don't see how being a party animal is the opposite of asexuality. the healthy way, in my eyes, would be finding a person you want to share intimacy with and then share that with joy.
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>>17940464
These factors only matter because they apparently have been established in the culture we live in. You're arguing about something that's not immediately related to sexuality, or asexuality (?) for that matter. Only take into account what's the matter here.
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>>17940448
sounds like a shitty therapist if he sais stuff like that... considering this, i'd say give it another try but with someone professional.

besides, therapy might help. but you can't go there and expect them to fix you. they are just a small support. the huge load of work is on you. you have to learn and mature yourself.

this is a wild guess. but i can't shake the feeling that asexual people have fallen victime to an extreme case of "sour grapes". as in "if i can't have something i'm going to convince myself that i didn't even wanted it in the first place since it isn't worth having anyways". mind you, this tought might be burried deep, deep down under layers of "sex is gross", "closenes scares me", "bodily functions weird me out", "i have no sexual desires", "sex is not ecessariy to etablish a romantic relationship", "i don't even masturbate" and so on.
my assumtion is that the root is insecurity. not feeling worthy of love and affection. especially physical affection. maybe it is related to a trauma. maybe it is just very bad self worth. whatever it is, do some digging and don't give up after the first few layers.
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>>17940441
Not according to my physician, endocrinologist and psychologist. There is no cure for asexuality and it's something I have to learn to live with and stop thinking about (to be cured). So no, not t. Science
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>>17940464
You must be fun at parties.
Try being less scared of the world. You might be happier.
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>>17940573
they are all too big pussies to tell you to your face that you are just a nut job. that's what society dies. they sugarcoat and pack you in marshmallows so your feels don't get hurt and they don't have to risk to upset you. be thankfull /adv/ exists. here we tell you what everybody secretly would like to tell you but is too agraid to do so because "muh political correctnes"
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>>17940594
/adv/ sure loves to tell the hard truth but doesn't give much advice about it most of the time
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>>17940594
How can they do that when I don't want to be asexual? They were the ones that said I was it, independent of one another.
I have no arousal, never gotten erections naturally, never been in love or infatuated with anyone. Male or female.

So if you have a cure for no arousal or sexual/romantic interest that the medical profession does not have, I'm all ears. Spill the beans. But it better not be sildenafil because I've tried that despite it not being a arousal medication.
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>That pic
I wouldn't mind being in a relationship with an asexual. I'm not asexual but I've been 5 years without sex, how bad could it be?
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>>17940600
it does. but the problem is that the good advice doesn't sound exciting. it sounds like work. it sounds unpleasant. it sounds strenuous. it sounds like it might take years to see results. but that's what it takes. but because it isn't easy and fun, people just dismiss the advice and go on about how they "don't know what to do". reaching something worthwhile takes a lot of dedication and discipline. to have that, you have to really want to achieve whatever your goal is. to want that, you have to suffer very much by not getting there. that or you won't do it at all. ever.

there is plenty o advice in this thread that would help you get over your issue. but as i said. it won't be fast and painless
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>>17940367
If the word asexual didnt exist you wouldnt be fucking with your head so much about it

You are a normal human bean but you maybe need to build some trust to be comfortable or something, just stop fucking with buzzwords over the internet and trying to get into a disorder that its just made up by your mind by reading crap on the internet.
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>>17940367
asexuality can definitely exist if you just think about it as a genetic mutation. I mean, in the first place what is "normal" is nonsense that just means what is most common. You don't need to have sex before declaring yourself asexual, but I think you should try it so you know for sure, or at least explore the possibilities via pornography.
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>>17940610
No. If the word asexual didn't exist I would have asked about people who don't feel sexual attraction without using a short word for it.
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>>17940604
come on. they fell for the meme.

they are not mind readers. they haven't been YOU for every second you have been on this earth. they don't know every single thing that crosses your mind. they don't know all your weird habits. they don't remember every memory you have. YOU do. that makes you the only person in this world capable and authorized to cure yourself.

humans are weird af. i don't question the fact that you have never gotten an erection naturally or have felt infatuation and what not. i don't doubt that at all. but hey, the human body can do god damn fucking weird stuff if it thinks it will aid the mind. a lot of kids can develope high fever and throw up on comand if they don't get what they want. some can even pass out on sheer willpower.
there are women who have developed fake pregnancies, compelte with belly m, milk and missing periods. simply because their subconscious decided that it will do less damage to "it's human" to simulate a pregnancy than to let this poor sould be infertile or whatever. people develope different personas to split traumatic experiences up because the original persona wouldn't be able to handle the complete truth of what they experienced (there's a case pf a little girl that had about 30 personas because she was used for demonic rituals by a satanic cult. she developed a persona for each traumatic wvent so it wouldn't "add up" in one persona). you still think your mind isn't capable of making you noodle stay limp and cut your brain off from producing oxitocine in the face of romantic encounters?
that shit is very powerfull. but you are still the one in comand. you have to gain the power back over your mind and your unconscious patterns. you can do that by pulling them into the light, examine them, rip out the unhelpfull ones and replace them with better ones. this is strenuous and continuous labor. it isn't done by doing it once. you will have to come back and weed out every day, maybe for years.
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>>17940610
Dont be silly

You simply take more to love or like someone, its impossible for you to not be able to want to fug, thats just a meme ur mind is tricking on you
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>>17940631
I don't know what to say, have this (you) for now.
That was a good read.
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>>17940683
i hope a tiny bit will stick with you. maybe it will seep trough and hit dou just at the right moment to get trough to whatever you need to get trough to.
i wish you good luck.
i know you can do this, OP
Thread posts: 26
Thread images: 3


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