Hating self

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Sorry for looking like a babbling retard. Yes, i'm aware.

>>17937901

Listen ,we can't help here. This is not a simple relationship issue. This needs deep work for a long time with a professional, specially if your images about hurting yourself are so vivid.

All we can say is: Find something "good" or "worthwhile" about yourself and remember it. But really, go to a pro.

>>17937936
Im' only accumulating debt with pros, anon. Finding a good therapist here is hard, and if i did find one, i've hit a plateau, while the debt with her treatment only increases. Maybe here i'll find similar people, or people with some insight. There's too much hatred that i just can't keep pouring out on my everyday life then going back to normal suddenly. Not everyone is a legitimate autist, people would just see me as unstable as i truly am if i didn't manage to hide it.

But , as i've said, it's leaking more. And there's no trace of having a way to track where al that comes from.

>>17937960

Look up Non-Profits in your area. There might be one that offers psychological help on the cheap. I was really surprised when I discovered one of such organizations near my home. Sure, professionals sometimes miss a session, but it's not bad at all.

>>17937901
isn't this called anxiety?
do you have any child traumas, by chance? do you have some social problems?

>>17937974
I lost my family in an accident some years ago. No social problems, i'm perfectly capable of speaking to a whole crowd naked and go through with it just fine.
>>17937971
Non-Profits? How do you search for such thing? And, are they effective?

>>17937982

The one I use is made up of psychologists that want to donate some time. I'm not really sure how you can look it up in your area. I walked by the door with this one, and where I live there's a site for volunteer work where you can look stuff like this up. Maybe try something like that.

>>17938002
I don't think there is one of those here, unfortunately.

>>17938017

Look it up first, right? At least try.

>>17938036
I will.

Try to surround yourself with positive people maybe?

Maybe if i change a bit the question;

How does one get rid of self-hatred, with or without knowing it's source?

>>17937901
OP some people we just hate ourselves, and no amounts of doctors or prescriptions can solve that.
Yet OP give it a shot your case could just be a bad self image of yourself or something dumb like that.

>>17937960
I hate myself a lot too sometimes anon. I think most people at one time have felt as if they hated themself for one reason or another.

I often think to myself "I want to fucking kill myself." and for no good reason at all, it's simply a chemical thing for me at this point and I acknowledge that it is and it helps me deal with it. It might be for you as well. If you're on medication perhaps try something else. I find that medication only makes me worse and therapy also does not help me either.

You're probably unstable because of your neurological chemistry, your habbits and your enviornment. You need to re-condition yourself into positive patterns and ways of thinking in order to reap positive feelings.

TONS of people are gonna say this, but it's true. Find something fulfilling like a few hobbies or go back to school. That's what really makes me feel better about myself. I know I'm not a fucking retard and that I have a lot going for me even if I do think I'm a fucking loser and I hate myself too. Just try to look at things in a positive light instead of looking at how much you hate yourself, eventually the more that you stop yourself from thinking about how much you hate yourself you'll start doing it even less and less.