Sex drive

>once a month

doin better than me, haven't stuck my dick in a vagina since 2008. hell, to me you sound just fine. compare yourself to the rest of us going crazy now and then, and you'll find peace.

or get him cialis.

Winter months do really lower libido.

He's most likely cumming too often. Cumming more than once a week during the winter will easily destroy your libido.

Practice sex without him cumming, men can orgasm without ejaculating with practice. In the winter I only cum once a week, even during sex I'll make sure I only cum once every 4-5 days. If I cum too often, especially in the winter, my libido goes down.

Let him regenerate for a few days.

>>17937728
But it's different if you're in a relationship.
He keeps convincing me nothing is wrong and that that's just how he is but I'm soo paranoid.

>>17937733
He doesn't jerk off. We live together. I even asked hey do you maybe want alone time to do those things (thinking maybe he needs it) and he said no.

He doesn't always cum when we fuck and says he doesn't mind it. Same with me.

>>17937735
get him cialis or talk to him about it, same as you're talking with us.

just ask him for sex. what have you got to lose?

>>17937744
I asked and he said what I wrote. His libido is low because of winter.
I once said I want/need more sex and in the moment of annoyance he said "maybe we just have different sexual needs and don't match". Quickly he took back what he said. But nothing was resolved. I'm scared of asking for more sex because I'm scared I'll piss him off or something and he'll leave me.
I here and there joke about not getting enough dick and he doesn't respond to it.

>>17937740

Even cumming during sex will drain you like jacking off will, and how do you know he doesn't jack off? my gf asked me and I lied saying I didn't.

Could be a vitamin D deficiency (pun unintended), try getting him more sunlight or supplements.

>>17937756
I work from home so I'm home 90% of the time when he is. Even when I leave it's no more than 30min.
Before you judge me on always being with him I asked him does he want alone time and he doesn't. He prefers me being next to him etc.

>>17937755
dildo? i unno..

>>17937761
this too

>>17937761
I will try with that. He also said he put on a little weight so he feels blah about it. Maybe I should start cooking healthier for him.

>>17937764
As I said in OP... it's not even about cumming itself anymore. I just want to feel the connection, I want to feel wanted.
He does touch me a lot, grabs my boobs and pussy. And everytime I get excited thinking "this is it" and get disappointed. I feel like a horrible gf writing this...

Op he might be depressed

>>17937733
Did you manage cumming without orgasm?

I really need some tips, been trying on and off for years. I think my kegels are fine and I might be pretty close but I lack something and I don't know what

>>17937770
...you're anonymous.. so it's like trying to help a ghost really..if that's the issue.. i can understand why this would feel horrible... do you guys sleep really close together? like spooning position? that can warm things up too... sleeping close together.

>>17937692
>>17937692

Have you cheated on him yet?

>>17937780
We do. Part of why I adore him because he is the best cuddle buddy (lol) I've ever had. He really shows me affection all the time.
I'm just worried, you know? I'm not used to this. All other bfs I had I had to fucking fight because they wanted too much sex.
I'm just scared I'm gonna let this go and in a few years he's gonna be like "bye I found someone to satisfy my sex needs" haha. I really asked him about things. Suggested pegging even tho I'm not a fan etc.

>>17937786
No. And won't.

>>17937793
try cialis.. he may be going through a down phase.

>>17937803
He doesn't think this is a problem. I can't just tell him to take something for it. He will be offended.

>>17937692
Im a guy in a relationship. Same deal.

Tbh she complained too much and put too much pressure on sex so now it doesnt feel like im doing it cause sex. It feels like im just pleasing her to get her off my back.

Complaining is very unnattractive and doesnt help.

She also tries too hard and will try to seduce me when im in the middle of doing shit that needs to be done, and shes super awkward about it.

Also in a long term relationship its supposed to slow down. Thats totally normal.

What Im trying to say is he could be depressed or anxious or occupied causing the slow down, and if youre coming off as naggy or whiney when you bring it up youre making it worse.

>>17937808
Cyalis is for erection and his problem is sex drive, which are two completly different things. Don't fall for this kind of "advice".

I suppose you have already tried grabbing his dick and raping him. Beyond that, at some point you'll have to fight with him to find out if he won't spill the beans on good will.

>>17937808
tell him it's a problem. and tell him it's important. ask him if he's willing to take cialis cuz you don't wanna deal with feeling like you're in a dry spell.

I think the number one thing to realize is that it's probably about a bunch of things and not just about you - hell it may not be about you at all. People's bodies and psychology change and it's very possible that he loves you just as much as he always has but for some reason his sex drive has just gone down.

It could be that he's just feeling a bit down - not all the way depressed but not feeling like the world is bright and full of possibilities as he once did. Winter could have something to do with it, but there could be something else that's bothering him in a roundabout way as well.

Have you guys had like a "real" conversation recently? Like a "how are you doing?" and "how is life?" Maybe he's feeling unsure of where his life is going or maybe he feels "stuck".

>>17937798
You are a nice gf then, most people I know would have found a side person asap.

>>17937810
I think I am coming off like that. I guess I'm just frustrated and paranoid it's something I did or am doing.
Thanks. What's your advice? Should I just completely stop mentioning it and when it happens it happens?

>>17937814

Don't listen to this idiot - either never been in a relationship or has had a bunch of failed ones.

>>ask him if he's willing to take cialis cuz you don't wanna deal with feeling like you're in a dry spell.

Are you fucking kidding me?

I always had this idea that I've to force myself to have sex (when I have a gf) as frequently as possible, even if I don't really want it. The sex is not usually ecstatic this way, but it's still a necessary bonding between a couple.

>>17937812
dude. it'll get his dick hard, and he needs to please his gf. enough bs.

i mean desu i dunno why the fuck op is complaining, she's getting affection, if he doesn't fuck er, she should just finger herself n deal with it. men just deal with it and fap when their gfs are acting up.

this is like payback for all the exes she told to calm down sexually.

>>17937817
I mean we do live in Finland and it gets dark pretty fast so I understand him being down more often.

I will try and be understanding.
I do ask him about his day and even ask things like "are you happy?" (In a nice tone too) and he has all the nice answers and it never seems forced.
That is why I'm so paranoid hahaha. He is perfect. So I was scared of doing something wrong even though he told me a few times already that nothing is wrong and that is how he is.

I know you guys can't solve anything for me but I just needed someone to understand and talk to me. I'm too embarrassed to talk to my girlfriends about this.

>>17937824
no, I'm not..

>>17937829
Hahaha I do sometimes feel like karma is getting to me for all the times I complained about my bfs being soo horny all the time and nagging me about having sex "only" 4 times a week lmao.

>>17937836
no you got what you wanted and still hate it. just fap and cuddle with him till he comes r sumn..

>>17937829
I know those things happen but I want a relationship where we can talk if someone has a problem. I don't care that Bill in Texas have to hide at 3am from his wife and fap. I don't want that life.

>>17937829
You clearly don't have a dick. Otherwise you'd know that having a boner is completly different from being horny. If he's getting one just to please her, she'll be better off with a dildo, so nobody will be doing anything against their will

So stfu and go sit on a dick until you learn how they work

>>17937838
I will do that. I realise now maybe I'm just a whiny bitch.

Thanks guys for talking to me. I guess I feel a little bit better.

>>17937822
I cant do much for advice because she hasnt fixed it so i dont know what works.

I know id probably be a lot more inclined if she wasnt so naggy, so theres that. Also im more in the mood when we have good days and do stuff together. So have date nights and do fun stuff could help.

But definitely ease up on the sex thing.

I can tell you honestly i am attracted to my gf, im not cheating, not planning on it, and not out of love with her, and my sex drive is not dead. Im mostly tired from work, and she throws it in my face so much it just feels super old and unsexy. So dont feel badly or paranoid because thats also unnattractive. Just chill. Easier said than done i know but.. Chilllll

>>17937838
comes aroun* rather

>>17937841
mind your manners boy.

>>17937831
Is this your first winter with him? Maybe he has some trauma related to it? His problem might not be sex related, but I also think it's hardly related to the screwed up daylight.

Although some other anon suggested D vitamin and it does make sense for your winter...

>>17937798

I hope not honestly. Most people I've known are shit and cheat but then again we are human after all I suppose

>>17937847
Thank you, this does help A LOT.

He did say he is just tired from work and down because of the season.
Thank you soo much it does make me understand better and I will try hard not to be a nag. I'll even try and make his life easier and happier, maybe that'll help too!

>>17937852
Yes it is. He said he was like this in past relationships. I asked did his past gf mind and he said that she never complained. (She did cheat on this tho so who knows what she was feeling)

>>17937860
On him*

>>17937860
Well so unfortunatly you'll have to learn how to deal with it. Like the other anon suggested, insisting all the time might make him feel worse.

I had friends who gone to sweden and they did say the lack of daylight messed them up, but idk how'd that apply to a native to this stuff. Maybe try the D vitamin or some other supplement. Tribulus is natural and said to do miracles. But obviously, check with him first to see if he's willing to do something about his sex drive

>>17937871
Thanks anons! Will try and be less pushy.

coffee

>>17937692

No. You don't get to control someone else's desire for sex. You don't understand your own mind, you're jumping to conclusions, and projecting your own fears onto him.

>I just wanna feel

Exactly. This line of reasoning is predatory and gross. If you were a man it'd be grounds for social exile.

Look, it's not all you. It's impossible to find someone with the exact same sex drive and timing as you, fact. Relationships require sex for maintenance. Sometimes you have to take (or give) one for the team, even when you don't really feel like it. Sometimes the horny one has to deal with that on their own.

Why don't you just ask him "can we have sex more?" You have to know that by asking this (and most sex things actually) that people tend not to take them well, at first. Being considered "not satisfying" is a blow to the ego. Be prepared to accept the consequences of hurt feelings. Remember how put off you felt to be on the other side of the equation. Long term relationships only happen if both people feel they're being met in the middle.

Ultimately, you have to decide for yourself what is a dealbreaker and what isn't. Will you be happy if he can't cooperate to a level you deem acceptable? Take care of yourself, but don't let your hindbrain need for "connection" (the sex and implied attention of a man) rule you like a fucking lizard-brain.

Relationships are a lifestyle, and every lifestyle has disappointing aspects. This is a *you* problem, because *you* aren't working with him to address your needs. You don't get to turn a dial on his penis to whatever setting you desire, just like your old boyfriends didn't get to fuck you dry.