How do you stop things that you can't control, such as sexual

you must accept who you are


alternatively repress who you are until you blow up

>>17935291
How do you repress wanting to be loved?

>>17935306
become a sociopath who cares more about money than people, I guess.

You want to be loved? You must love yourself first. Do you? If not you risk a lot by pursuing a relationship

this isn't just some self help bullshit either. it's not fair to a potential partner having them provide all this extra stuff to the relationship to help you overcome your lack of self love. it's taxing, draining, and could even ruin a good relationship

>>17935308
What's there to love when you are objectively unlovable?

I can't express love in a way a man would care for, so I'm not worth the effort of being loved at all.

>>17935313
>objectively unlovable
No way fag. What makes you say so?


>I can't express love in a way a man would care for
Maybe you should try first

>>17935320
>No way fag. What makes you say so?
I love men and I can't take dick.

>Maybe you should try first
I have, and I really can't. It's hell.

>>17935332
You are attracted to men, but do not want to be with a man? Please, elaborate. Hopefully someone with more experience in that field will jump in. Are you sure you can't "do it" because of society's pressures on homosexuality?

>>17935334
I used to be able to do it if I was drunk enough. As in, I'd get sufficiently drunk, lose memory and wake up naked in a stranger's bed and pray to god I'd find a condom on the floor.

I'm not able to do that anymore. I get tired before I'm drunk enough, lose courage and go home.

>>17935340
bring your own condoms bub. also what changed? Why can't you be with another guy?

>>17935344
I lost my ability to get drunk enough, I guess. I also now live on my own, so the question of whether it's harder to make my way back to mom's or to take dick no longer applies.

And I HAVE carried my own condoms, though at that point it's really not up to me whether he chooses to use one or not.

>>17935351
stop. it is always up to you if your partner uses condoms, do not let them bully you otherwise.

I'm just at a loss. I don't know why you have to be super drunk to do thing.

>>17935356
Roofies would probably do the same, but I don't think needing to be drugged to go through with it every single time is going to be any cheaper/attract any better a guy, even if one would settle for me.

>>17935364
I'm sure there's people who would want to date you, why not give it a try. Maybe a dating site would help ease you into it. You can talk with them before going out

>>17935371
I have tried, but I can't stomach it. I get scared and pussy out.

Deliberately putting yourself in harm's way is much easier when you're not sober enough to consiously aknowledge what you're doing.

>>17935377
Scared of rejection, or what?

But I guess before all that, you have to come to terms with yourself. The only thing that sounds wrong with you is you beat yourself up too much

>>17935388
I'm scared of taking dick. I don't remember it ever being painful but then again I scarcely remember ever doing it.

The thing that's wrong is that I can't get a guy to stay for another round. I can't get anyone to commit to me.

>>17935395
stop getting wasted and doing one night stands then

go out with some one before fucking. let yourself be with someone rather than being treated as a piece of fuckable meat

Why dating an asexual isn't an option? There are websites just for this.

>>17935399
I know I should, but every single time I lose my courage when I remember that he'd fuck me eventually and close the app.

It's like a cat with hot porridge. I always want it until I get close enough to remember that it burns and pussy out again.

>>17935402
Because the only people on those sites are purple-haired 15-year-old tumblr kids who obviously lied their age and would be too obese to be gendered correctly even if they didn't get offended if you tried.

That, and one lady my mother's age, but she's not really husband-material.

>>17935416
Why don't you go on a normal dating site saying you want an asexual?

Are youvseeing a therapist and a gynecologist for your issues?

>>17935416
So do you just not like sex? DO you want to fuck rather than be fucked? What is it that is bothersome to you? Are you asexual? Is there some trauma or taboo which holds you back?

>>17935419
I've tried that, too. If you choose to seek gay men on OkCupid you still get SJW:s because somehow it's oppression to exclude obese women from the definition of "men".

I should probably have specified that I am, indeed, a homosexual man.

>>17935420
I just don't like to fuck. I can't bring myself to penetrating and the feeling of being penetrated is so awful and violating that I deeply prefer being unconscious when it happens if it absolutely must.

I was never raised to be negative about sex (my mom was one of those "hey, I got a shiny" -kind of parents, I never really had to "come out" and she even offered to go to a pride with me) and I think I'd remember it if I'd ever experienced sexual trauma. I was never left alone anywhere unsafe as a kid.

>>17935426
ugggh then why in the hell are you getting blackout drunk and going on one night stands then??

knock that shit out son

>>17935437
I told you, I'm not doing that anymore.

I lost count of how many men I've slept with within the first 4 months from my 18th birthday but now I haven't slept with anyone since 2013.

Nor been kissed.

Being kissed would be nice.

>>17935440
Ok, so, what i'm getting is, your terrified of taking dick anally, and that's preventing you from even trying to start a meaningful relationship with someone? Am I correct? So, I feel like the first thing I should say is, sex isn't really the be all end all of a relationship. Yeah, it is important, but you can start a relationship and see where it goes. For the second part, have you tried buying toys and things and easing yourself into it? I'm attracted to feminine traits, and there aren't really any shemales in my area, so I've never taken dick, but I've masturbated with toys in my ass often enough that the thought of anal doesn't really bother me anymore. I guess my recommendation is to buy a small toy, or anal trainer kit, or use like the non-bristle end of a toothbrush and a lot of lube to ease yourself into it.

>>17935460
It's painless, I just hate being used in that way.

>>17935469
OK, so it's all psychological then, you don't get off from anal and it just makes you feel used always full stop?

>>17935482
Pretty much so.

Other than that I do not get off, at all, ever. It's not a physical nor emotional issue, psychiatrist said it's physical and doctor said it's psychiatric.

>>17935497
Fuck. Even when you're by yourself in the privacy of your own home, jacking it, nothing?

>>17935500
Exactly.

I've tried masturbating.

Have you ever seen a dog try to play fetch with itself?

I try, try again, feel stupid, give up and be sad.

Why not take it one step at a time man get a little out of your comfort zone then stop and then go further and etc

>>17935503
God damn it. Well, I feel like I should say that in a real, meaningful relationship, you shouldn't feel like you're being used, ever, and it's important to communicate to them if you ever feel like you are. As a gay man, the small dating pool you have means its gonna be hard to find someone who isn't looking for some kind of sexual contact at some point, but I feel like it might be possible to find someone who wants to be around you because they like you for you. As long as you're fairly up front with your problems, getting kissed and all the other nice things a relationship brings are possible, I think. I also think your only real hope at dealing with the sex thing at this point is to keep hammering at it with medical professionals until you find out what's going on with your Johnson, which is something I hate to fucking say, because of the expense. Sorry man, I don't think I can really help you beyond that.

>>17935520
>>17935503
Also, if you can't manage anything even by yourself, my completely unqualified medical thought is its something physical, so maybe try to come at it from that direction first?

>>17935524
Been checked. Nothing's wrong.