Comfort Zone

What do you mean by stepping out of your comfort zone?
You probably have the wrong idea about it. I'm thinking here you think it's about suddenly going 3 days a week to the gym when you haven't done 3 pushups in years.
Take baby steps, don't rush it.
Also when you take a single step out of your comfort zone (it may be just going out to a new place) make it your new normal. That is, expand your comfort zone, rather than think of it with a bubble with defined boundaries.

>>17933885
I mean, whenever I try something new my inner critic tells me I will faiil anyway
Be it learning something, trying out a new hobby or doing sports
I instanly give up and fall back into all patterns

>>17934011
Your giving up because you are trying these things with little to no knowledge and want to be instantly rewarded almost to the same level as if someone put time and effort into what your doing.

You need to understand the reason you are trying new things, its to change your way of life for a long time possibly forever and you need to understand that things will take time and effort before you get a sense of gratification.

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OP, what do you think, is >>17935274
correct?

I see something like this at times in my youngest son, who is 13. He gets frustrated when he instantly isn't good at a new skill or has to struggle in order to shape a particular desire more than he feels he should.

This is a discipline issue, and no one can fix that but you, man. I applaud your attempts to understand and overcome it. I also suspect that you know exactly what is required to do so but are afraid, and that's OK.
To be clear, to try and do new things, to push yourself, you need to go ahead and do so, knowing full well that you might fail, or worse, be disappointed in your own performance.

Look, your father, if you have one, should have prepared you for this. Men especially need the freedom and experience of failing spectacularly at important things. It's a big part of how we grow in many ways. It shapes and toughens us, if we handle ourselves properly.

Without concrete examples, it's tough to speak on this as it applies to you, personally. We all have an inner critic, and it tells us we're going to fuck up all the damn time.

My question to you, son, is SO WHAT?

We will fail. We will succeed. No one cares about our failures as much as we do.

Put more clearly, No one cares very much when we fail. Don't fear disappointing others, and don't fear failing very much. Fear failing yourself- not in trying and failing, but in quitting and not giving your best.

I'm going to bet here, OP that you are more afraid of giving your best and failing than you are at just failing. Don't be.
I tell my sons that it's perfectly OK to be afraid. It's never OK to give in to fear just to avoid it.

So what are you going to to, OP? Your answer can make a big difference in your life and how you interact with the world. Don't fear stepping out of your comfort zone. Fear being imprisoned by it!

>>17935274
I guess you're right
I lack the willpower to stick to it and haven't learned that training and failing is still a part of getting to the goal

>>17935300
Thanks Dad.
You see my own Dad and I never had this talk about discipline before because he was pretty lazy himself, sadly.
Now we can't have this talk anymore.


Thanks for your answers guys, I really need to stick to it and not thrown in the towel after the first tries, it's gonna take a while till I'm there but I think I can do it.
Wish me luck.

And if anyone wants to add something, feel free to do so.

>>17933761

you better get on it otherwise sooner or later you'll be a total oldfag and bitter you were such a dumbass when you were younger

find situations you can push yourself where you are not too concerned about failure and go for it - learn from your mistakes and keep going