How do I not be clingy?
In casual, sex-based relationships, and in more serious ones?
I'd like guys' and girls' perspectives on this.
I already know not to text every hour or try to meet every single day.
I'll explain the context:
I was in a new FWB situation I was really excited about, but the other person didn't want to meet as often as I did, and was often difficult to contact. I got pretty upset about it, and, since we couldn't talk about it face-to-face at that moment (because of travelling), wrote some emotional messages and ruined everything. Not gonna do that again!
What else, /adv/?
Get more fwb
I'm definitely trying.
But anyway, what specific behaviors and mindsets should I avoid not to be clingy?
>>17933689
Its not mindsets you want to avoid, its mindsets you want to have. Speaking in positive terms is important to the brain psychologically. You want to reevaluate whats really important to you. What are your goals, aspirations, dreams. These should be seen as priority numero uno. Some slag should be far down the list after family and friends. Relaize that its just pussy and not supposed to be anything more otheriwse you would be dating.
A tip is that everytime that you feel the need to be super on her just jerk off
>>17933709
I'm a woman, but that's still pretty good advice.
>>17933714
Ah I feel like its a bit harder for women at a biological level to have fwb without being as attached as a man
The advice still applies but it really is not easy speaking from experience with past casual realtionships with girls
Maybe spending more time out with friends?
>>17933629
Try to learn that you can still be happy without that person in your life 24/7.
Other option is to find someone who is just as clingy as you.
I ruined a relationship with a perfect girl twice by being clingy
>first time we were together was less serious but I kept pushing to be more serious
>she didn't want that and pushed me away
>Took a break for a couple months and she gave me a second chance
>Second time was much more serious but there was still personal issues with her that prevented her from being on the level of affection I was
>always wanted to see but she seemed content to not see each other as often
>broke up with me again
>feelsbadman.jpg
If dating and relationships is a new thing for you, not being clingy will be something that comes with time.
>>17933726
What happened in your casual relationships with girls?
The girls ended up having a really hard time with it?
>>17933729
How often did you want to see her?
Lots of my female friends are clingy and have the same struggles that I do, but actually I've never met a clingy guy in real life.
>>17933734
Pretty much evertime
It starts off swell and dandy but eventually I can tell they start getting the feels, want to lock me down
They text more, ask to hang out all the time, have to almost kick them out after having sex for the third time. It makes me feel bad desu because I want to date them but I just dont have the time or mental effort for all that while in college and working
Eventually they mostly get the messag eand start seeing another guy/hit me up less until none
Only have had one lasting fwb but shes kinda crazy
>>17933743
She lived about 1.5 hours from my uni back in our hometown. She commuted to her community college in the same city as my uni one day a week and that's how we reconnected. Once we started dating again, she would stay for 2-3 days a week with me. I was usually pretty bored and lonely when she wasn't around so I always tried to convince her to stay an extra day or two. I remember standing outside my dorm with her a few days before she broke up with me trying my best to get her to stay longer but she'd always rather go back home.
It hurt at the time but I know that if I didn't complain and we stayed together, I wouldn't be happy seeing her that little.
It varies from guy to guy. I know I fall in love too easily, even though most of the time it's not true. A friend of mine though is a Chad who sleeps with plenty of girls regularly and he never gets attached. I don't think I'd be happy either way.
>>17933794
it's so weird that you never have feelings for them!
>>17933818
How is that weird? It was set up as a very specific "they hang out to have sex as friends" type of thing. Nobody ever says you need to start developing feelings for the person just because you had sex, otherwise prostitution would be incredibly tricky
>>17933818
Their cool but I have goals Im tryin to acheive and in my experience I havent met any of them that would actually help me more than hinder. The day I do I will date her, not just be trying to fuck her.