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Anonymous
Could I make it in a relationship? 2017-01-07 08:03:14 Post No. 17933143
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Could I make it in a relationship? 2017-01-07 08:03:14 Post No. 17933143
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Recently, I've been wanting to get into a relationship (not one in particular, just in general) but I wanted advice to see if I needed some change first. This isn't about, "could I get into one", but about, "could I pull of a relationship?"
Basically, I have 2 big problems in the way, the first is a underlying anger problem. I'm usually a very calm person, I don't get angry at next to anything and I always stay cool, except for some situations. There is no situation in particular but sometimes (but very rarely) because of something usually small i'll go from calm to almost snapping immediately, I dunno why it happens but rarely something will happen that makes me almost hurt someone or get really mad when I shouldn't.
The second big problem is that while I can be around people, I need alone time. Even if it's having fun with friends or going on a trip, if I don't get some alone time, I feel really uneasy, and usual try to find myself the time by trying to get away from everyone for a bit.
I know that these are both really big issues for a relationship, but I was wondering if anyone had advice to help me fix these issues or if they know a way to make a relationship work while one person is like this.
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>>17933143
The second issue is mostly a non-issue, unless you're an asshole about it and unwilling to to compromise because you "need alone time".
The first issue is big. Get in control of your emotions first and then worry about a relationship.
Being in control of your emotions is the basis of maturity. Once you can get a grip on your silly anger issues, you'll find that a lot of things in your life may just fall into place. You're doing nothing but creating your own hell.
Also, the "this is just how I am I can't help it" mentality isn't helping anyone. Your misplaced anger will do nothing but help you ostracize yourself from your peers.
Come to terms with the fact that you can't control yourself, then learn how to control yourself rather than acting like a toddler going on a temper tantrum.
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>>17933160
>The second issue is mostly a non-issue
I disagree. The more serious a relationship gets, the more this is going to become a problem. What's he going to do when they move in together and start settling down? Just disappear?
I agree with everything else you've said though. I would also suggest some sort of professional help too
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>>17933190
Professional help is definitely a good idea.
I suppose what I meant in my first post is that wanting, or needing alone is perfectly acceptable.
What isn't acceptable is brushing off your responsibilities to your job, friends, and your relationship because you just need some "alone time". That's a pretty weak minded mentality.
So basically alone time is positive and therapeutic, to an extent.
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>>17933199
I totally agree about alone time, I'm also one of those people who enjoy spending time alone. But I don't think it's a non-issue like you said, because it IS going to become an issue the more serious you get. Everything else we're 100% in agreement with.
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>>17933213
Yeah non-issue was a bad way of phrasing it.
Compromise is key in a relationship for sure.
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>>17933226
>>17933213
thanks anons for the help
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