say it get it off your chest / vent

I'm going to need you to take a leap of faith.

trust in me.

I love you.
-blanco amor

Fuck off C

You made dump me. Say you want to be friends then start making comments for me to see. Thanks for forcing me to dump our mutual friends. I'm still salty over a year later. But you'll never care as all you did was gaslight me.

I'm sure some of your "friends" will see through your passive aggressive bullying eventually.

L

I hope every single western women gets raped multiple times over and to end their suffering they kill themselves. Utterly worthless human beings.

SS

I need to give up on you. I think it's happening. Way too slowly though. I know you won't ever see this and I know you won't ever come crawling back, like how I won't even though just one more night with you would be bliss. All I have to do is wait for to time to erase you. Like a bad dream. Just a bad, weird dream..

I'm pretty sure that we both hate each other but we're too scared of life apart.

>>17932906
That's messed up b

>>17933053
My woman told me she hated me sometimes. It's her psychosis. She is absolutely incapable of seeing life in anything other than black or white. If she isn't happy with someone about any one thing, then she hates EVERYTHING about that person. Same for love. If she likes one thing about someone then she becomes obsessed with them. Put's them on a pedestal.

Meanwhile, I'm incapable of thinking that way. I constantly make excuses for people when they do something bad. I try to see everything from every point of view. I try to rationalize their thinking, my thinking, because in the end I believe people can be good. ARE good. I believe we are all good people.

All of us. No matter what. No one is too far gone to come back.

I have tried to hate, I have tried to get in arguments and I just get frustrated and feel awful about myself.

>>17933080
That bitch really fucked wit your shit, mang.

>>17933097
Thanks, Gandhi.

If I sum up my life in one song, it would be this:

I, I've been lonely
And I, I've been blind
And I,. I've learned nothing
So my hands are firmly tied
To the sinking leadweight
of failure

I've worked hard all my life
Money slips through my hands
My face in the mirror tells me
It's no surprise that I'm
Pushing the stone up the hill
of failure

They tempt me with violence
They punish me with ideals
And they crush me with an image of my
life that's nothing but unreal
Except on the goddamned slaveship
of failure

I'll drown here trying
to get up for some air
But each time I think I breathe
I'm laid on with a double share
of the punishing burden
of failure

I don't deserve to be down here
But I'll never leave
And I've learned one thing
You can't escape the beast
In the null and void pit
of failure

When I get my hands on some money
I'll kiss it's green skin
And I'll ask it's dirty face
"Where the hell have you been?"
"I am the fuel that fires the engine
of failure."

I'll be old and broken down
I'll forget who and where I am
I'll be senile or forgotten
But I'll remember and understand
You can bank your hard-earned money
on failure

I saw my father crying
I saw my mother break her hand
On a wall that wouldn't weep
But that certainly held in
The mechanical moans of a dying man
Who was a failure

My back hurts me when I bend
Because I carry a load
My brain hurts me like a knife-hole
Because I've yet to be shown
How to pull myself out from
The sucking quicksand
of failure

Some people lie in hell
Many bastards succeed
But I. I've learned nothing
I can't even elegantly bleed
Out the poison blood
of failure

I want to know, do you like me or is it just a friendly thing we've got going on here?

I'm saying this because everytime i ask her if she's got some free time she says she's busy or that she's got to study.

she's the only one who texts me from time to time, because all of my other friends do it rarely.

>>17933187 i like the song

>>17933187
That's beautiful. I don't know that song. Very well-written.

>>17933198
>>17933208
Made by the band, Swans.

My dear W... I had never met any guy like you. I'm so sorry for falling for you. There are still contradictions in what you said. But I can't talk to you anymore. I always knew this was hopeless but it hurts so much. I hope I get over you soon. I love you.

ycмивкaтa ти e зa мeнe cтpoг лeд
и вcякa лacкa — тягocтeн мeтaл;
вoдa oт пeпeл пия в глътки тoпли —
бeз вoпли, бeз пoкpyca, бeз пeчaл

>>17933232
>But I can't talk to you anymore.
why?

Hey buddy, old pal. Guess what I'm doing tonight? Correct, I'm alone for the weekend yet again. You failed me. Thanks for nothing.

>>17933212
is it on the internet, what's the title of the song

>>17933249

He doesn't want to be with me. And being just friends hurts too much. This is the only way to move on.

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>>17933263
The title is Failure from the album White Light From The Mouth of Infinity. You can find it on spotify or download it somewhere

I love you so much it hurts. It makes me so happy that a person can make me feel this way. I can love.

But I know you're going to break my heart. I know you're going to hurt me, and that you don't love me the way I do you. And I know no matter how many moments I steal away from you they're numbered. I'm painfully aware that after you broke up with me and came back that i can't trust you at all. I know i'm a total idiot for having you back but I love you so much it burns.

I want to let go of you bbut the thought of not seeing you every day breaks my heart. The thought of you alone breaks my heart.How do we do this? How can I be okay? It's starting to affect me so deeply. I can't keep hard when I sleep with other women. All through this we're just " friends ". I made us just friends. And it doesn't mean anything.

I love you.Please set me free

>>17933279
thanks. It's a nice song..

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I hate my sister. She's a useless, sad piece of worthless shit that won't ever amount to anything. My family and I gave her all the opportunities we could have and she has completely wasted each and every one of them.

If you're reading this, L, go fuck yourself. You were never good enough because you never tried.

On an unrelated note, I really like C++!

Hey Desiree stop ignoring me and ignore the lies you are being fed. I'm totally honest with you that's why I myself seem so harsh to you, because the truth hurts. You have anything to ask me or need know, just ask bluntly. Don't be so coy with me anymore and stop being so serious. We can easily have great times together if you allow yourself freedom from your own mind.

my mind is consumed by questions to the point it's disabled me.

I love you. I miss you. I trust you... I will not get better until I hear from you. I just know I won't, I've tried. Either I take enough drugs that I can properly function or I find out why this is happening to me. You don't want or like the former and for some reason can't do the latter... I don't want to take drugs, I don't.

People ask what else I wanted in life. I told them, I tell everyone., all I wanted was to paint and love you. I lost meaning. I told you I was certain of you. That I just wanted you and only you. I tried to hate you. I tried to make you miss me but all it takes is one memory to send me to the abyss.

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I fucking hate my body, and i've started eating nothing but only dinner for a week this week, and I've done it before. I dislike running, and would feel uncomfortable in a gym. Don't mind swimming though, but I gotta get my membership renewed. I hope this fasting idea will help me lose more weight. Something is wrong with me in the head, because I'll do that, but I don't understand why I don't want to exercise even though I hate my body. Hopefully my tits stay the same size.

>>17933414
Just do it. No one will judge you, it's all in your head. You should eat three times a day just eat more healthy. Trust me, the hardship will be worth it.

There is no way in fucking hell I'm going to be honest with the psychiatrist on the 20th. Not if I have to go by myself.

>>17932949
Are you still here? What happened? That is horrific. I'm so sorry.

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>My boyfriend is A, our male friend is B, so of course I'm A's girlfriend
>B to A: If you were to leave but (I) stayed here, that would be like the beset possible outcome
What did he mean by this

>>17933502
Whoops, *best

I hope you miss me
I might've talked to you yesterday, maybe you noticed
I hope you're well, & you chose a new name, & you're good to yourself
Please miss me
I want you to think about me like I think about you
But you probably don't care
You've probably forgotten me
I just want to be missed E
or whatever your new name is
Maybe it's Elizabeth
I think that's nice

>>17933529
B wants in your pants. He's also a fucking idiot

>>17933546
What was their old name? What did it start with?

I know 2 people that wanted to change their names.

>>17933248
кpacивo

>>17933269

girl, i feel you, it happened to me too. it hurts so much. you'll get through it. take it one day at a time.

>>17933232

I am in the same boat, but am I guy. It really fucking hurts when someone doesn't want you like how you want them. I feel you.

I would go anywhere with you. I would live anywhere. My home is with you. I love you with all my heart and that's all I am. I don't blame you. I'm sorry for being awful. I'm sorry for being broken and letting my insecurities hurt you so badly. Just like I know you're sorry for your insecurities hurting me. I forgive you, truly. I want nothing more than to hold you. I would do anything. I'm patient. I'm waiting because that's all I can do. There is no one else on this Earth that could replace you.

You know every part of me. You own every part of me. I'll never leave you, I'll never abandon you no matter how bad it gets. I will be the fixed point, your beacon in the darkness. Your north star.

Every day hurts more than the last. But I endure. It hurts so much.

It's not your fault.
You are a good woman.

>>17933598
I would have posted what I wrote myself but nothing is as moving as Geo Milev's poetry

She's like 3 points higher than me in mind, maybe 1 irl but I can't properly accept that. Asked her on dates, she said yes and came along - was great. Made me happy, forgot depression, worked out more, ate better; all without actually having gf, just talking to her made me feel that much better.
Drunk at a party I let one of his girl's friends know that I like this girl - assumedly this information gets back to her. It then feels like everything changes, she mad excuses when I asked on dates, didn't keep up conversations as much over message... At first I was having fun enjoying the thrill of he chase, never had problems getting women in bed so it was a good game - now I'm starting to realise that my feels are way too strong for this situation, my mood swings dramatically on the basis of her messages - still seems like she likes me but the uncertainty is driving me deeper into suicidal feelings and general depression, closest friends are finding great relationships and still come to advice bc they always viewed me as successfull with women; now I listen to them explain the great times they're having with their gfs while I silently resent them and long for their relationships to end even though these are people who are very genuinely dear to me. Now I'm abusing my body harder out of anger at myself for getting attached - working out to the point of tears ftom pain and exertion, eating less and less, drinking alone at night - then suddenly on top of the world because of one snapchat notification

>>17933645
Post the translation for the debilitated

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>>17933248
>>17933598

>what

>>17933611

Thank you. I hope it gets easier. This is the first day of this, so it's kinda hard to see ahead.

>>17933635

It really does, doesn't it. The worst part for me is how sure I was that he liked me back. He said things I'm sure you wouldn't say to just a friend. At the same time I knew this would happen. Thank you for commenting. Hope you get through this too.

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Well, this was what I was waiting on. I had a feeling she was seeing someone else. I just didn't it expect it to be happening for this long.
I guess I wanted to beleive "I'm not looking to date right now" and "I have too much on my plate to handle a bf" were legit excuses. Everyone told me otherwise, both on this board and in person. But I was naive.

I keep wondering though if there was more I could've done.Maybe my advances and comments were more subtle than blunt. But I figure she had to have known. No woman is that oblivious. I just don't know why she'd keep her guy a secret, unless she enjoyed the attention of another guy. But what does that say about her?

I also wonder if I was too hasty in my decision to ghost her. I know this board is not a big fan of that, but I didn't find out about her guy directly from her; she told my sister of all people. So discussing it isn't an option.
Plus since I intend to find another job sometime within the next few months, cutting her from my life would be easy. But maybe I should've waited. I don't know..

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Today I broke up three physical altercations between my sister and her bf. We spent almost 4 hours talking about what's going on in her mind and just listening to her vent.

They were already fighting and disagreeing for a couple hours before I stepped in, and I genuinely feel guilty not stopping the arguments sooner and mediating. Now they have decided to take a hiatus and I'm dropping red pills like *you* once did when we went our separate ways.

tl;dr When I came back this time I didn't cry over you. Instead I've been applying everything you've taught me to my new and existing relationships. It's benefiting my sister but I'm driving myself insane for sounding like you. It's too fresh. It's too scarred for this to work again.

You be good. See you tomorrow. I love you.

>>17933772

Maybe she didn't tell you because she knew it would hurt you. So she didn't want to have that conversation.

And don't think about what you could or should've done. She wasn't into you and being more blunt or whatever you're thinking of wouldn't have changed that. This might sound harsh, but it's the opposite. Since there's nothing you could've done, there's nothing to regret. It just wasn't meant to be. You don't have to torture yourself thinking about what you did or didn't do. Keep going no contact and try to move on. Good luck on the job thing!

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I'm a married man but I've had a crush on this woman (on the pic) for like over 10 years...

I cheated on you, twice. I swore to you I was going to be a better man, for you. I swore I'd never lie and I'd always be faithful.

I was weak, twice, early. Then it never happened again. Now you're gone.

You never found out, but you deserve to know the truth. But now I just can't.

I suppose you unknowingly got your revenge. You broke my heart in more ways than you could imagine, just like you swore you wouldn't.

I guess we're both liars now

>>17933836
Does you're current woman make you feel good...do you love her is what I'm asking. And just be loyal to the woman you have rn that what they want please don't make the same mistake my friends dad did by marrying a woman he loved and then he left her because some other girl was prettier

Yeahh..I think I'm going to change my number. I get eager for those texts I get from you..about once a month, haha.

I'm changing my number so I'll know it's time to stop waiting and there's no way for you to get ahold me. I'll finally stop checking my spam messages.

Please don't just be fucking with me. Please don't get my hopes up. Please. Good god please. I love you.

I came to a point where I'll either kill myself or get a fresh start

I love you

I wanted to be the right person to you but obviously I'm not

>>17933835
Thanks, anon. Your words aren't harsh; they're true.
The pain I'm feeling now is all regret and "what ifs". I have to move on, and I know I will eventually.

remember, the only things you will ever hear from me are I love you, I miss you, I trust you, I want you in my arms, mi amor.
-Gato Blanco

I have 8 friends that I like

>>17933963
You don't need many friends to be happy, anon.
I only have 5 close ones, and that's enough. Less drama as well.

Dear R

I don't know when but out of no where I fell for you. We're together almost everyday and I didn't expect you of all people would make me this weak. I fucking hate it. I love you but I know you don't feel the same. I can't help but be there for you when you need me but I'm feeling used. I just want to tell you and move on with my life but I still want you around. I don't want to do this anymore R.

J

>>17933963
you literally cannot have more than that. Human social groups were meant to be incredibly small, limited to family (like wolves). The shit like the internet is distorting our perceptions.

SWANS omg SWANS… I'll never forget it was 1987 my older brother's friend came to the loft with a SWANS album… lol. I was 17.

>>17933836
She looks like a melted Tori spelling.

>>17934035
Link to the album

>>17933963
Here's a lesson for you anon. When you think things can't get any more fucked up, like you can't take another piece of bullshit before you finally go full retard, they get worse. And you deal. You learn. It's fucking horrible, it feels impossible. But it happens. You survive.

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I'll choke you the fuck out and drag us both into traffic you fat little cock mouth. I hope a truck clips your ass as i throw your stubby fucking body in front of it.

Did i hurt your feelings you loud obnoxious cunt? That must suck. Couldn't tell you how it feels. Brush up against me again faggot, i fucking dare you.

Ever since I met you in February I've been so happy and ever since you went and returned from Brazil you've been avoiding me. You've been such a good person and no matter what you'll always be in my heart. Even if we never talk again Y. I knew you didn't want to talk to me as often as you wanted, I just sped the process by pissing you off to stop becoming a burden. I know I've offended/pissed you off due to the ignored messages.
Goodbye Y - The L of my U

I just hope I can win you back. you made me really happy. I finally felt like I met someone I could really connect to. I thought you might be different, but I guess not. I don't know if you went back to your ex or what, but if you did I'm sure you'll just break up with him again. I wish I had enough dignity to know I wouldn't wait around for you, but I'm not sure that I do.

>>17933963
MORE THAN ME

>>17933963
>>17934547
would kill for 8 reliable friends t b h

I still can't believe this happened, and cant keep refreshing facebook to see the 'is in a relationship with you' from being removed. Your issues with our relationship can be resolved with us still being together. Do what you want! Be totally indepandant! I'm not conciously holding you back in any way. I've never said 'don't have your own life and your own friends and social circles', I've tried to encourange you int he past to do that.
Just please don't go and fuck and become infatuated with your new boy. I was honest when I said I was going to break my own conditioning and propose to you this year. I am ready to man up and be totally serious about us. I've already been changing myself for the future; dressing like an adult and losing weight and gettign fit, and looking at moving out and getting my own place. I might buy a warehouse workshop with a live-in partition. That would be a dream for me and would be fun being able to make as much noise as I/we possibly want. Please don't let this be the end. I honestly know no one could complete and accept me more than you do, and know no other guy could connect to you like I do.

>>17934580
True. I have maybe like 2 that I can really trust outside of my own blood.

I wish I had any friends. But I lost my last one because I fell for him. Oops. Now I'm trying to move on and can only talk to the internet about this. So I keep posting in these threads. I miss you, even though you barely talked to me. I wish things could've been different. But that's life.

>>17934614
Or you accept it. You can love him forever. We love you regardless anon

>>17934599
Yeah, I have one friend that I can talk to anytime but she's moved far away. I feel like I don't have anything in common with the rest of my "friends." It'd be great to have one friend that I shared interests with and would do fun shit with me.

She's losing interest, I can feel it.

But I haven't completely lost hope yet.

I just want it to work out for once.

A mature student, I have one serious undergraduate scientific review I was supposed to do for the whole semester and here I am, wasting days at a time dedicating them to the review.... and not even doing the fucking review. It's unbelievable how I could be so bad at managing my time and getting shit done.

I'm so fucking dumb. Literally lost the best thing that ever happened to me over some stupid shit I did without fucking thinking. Didn't even have a bad intention.

Fucks sake

>>17934678
What'd you do?

>>17934630
Can I, really. That sounds too painful. But thank you for the love, anon

O

Talk to me, I love you.

J

im 21, drink nearly every night after work, nearly failed out of school, still live in my parents basement, and just waiting for the day i purposely drive head-on into traffic.

Honestly a miracle ive had any sort of sexual relationship with women. I wouldnt even throw myself a pity fuck.

>>17934739
Why don't you talk to O?

I feel like a failure.

My life is on the brink of huge change, for the better, and I'm clinging to my old life. I don't want it to go. Every time something like this happens I disown my previous life and self, and it hurts, and I don't want that to happen again.

Each time this happens, I grieve for all the previous lives and selves. It gets heavier and more painful every time.

If I can 100% guarantee get away with murder and no one knew who done it, I would end my brother's life in a heartbeat. I absolutely fucking hate him, I wish he never existed, I really want to beat the very inch of his life until his face is mangled and twisted, with every inside on the outside. An excuse of a human being to have existed in this world, he is complete fucking cancer to the family, nothing but a goddamn leech. Brings nothing of value, treats his family like complete shit, has no consideration for others, he is, by definition, worthless. I swear, there will be a day where he'll cross a line and there won't be anyone around to stop me from fucking destroying him. J, do yourself and everyone else a favor, and cease to exist, you fucking degenerate.

I haven't got everything out of my chest but I did feel a little better.

>>17934754
Why are the changes so painful for you?

>>17934745
> and just waiting for the day i purposely drive head-on into traffic.

what the fuck, if you're going to kill yourself, dont take anyone else's life in the process, jesus christ

also, get help

You flaked on me once before and then you came back. I hope you come back again, this time I'll know what to expect though.

>>17932825
Mei,

We've known each other for three whole years now. You've confessed your feelings to me, then gone out with other guys, without giving me a chance to respond. Yet you still come to me for help. You still come to me for all your problems. You still think that ill be there for you, no matter what.

One of these days, i'm going to do it. Without, warning, without reason. A small drop in my already filled-to-the-top bucket of troubles. Who will you go to then? Will you mourn me? Or will I just be another one of those guys that you "loved" and then hate, because they couldn't give you what you want?

Despite all this, I still, undoubtedly, have feelings for you. Why? I have no clue. Maybe it's just leftover attachment from all the time we spent together. You know, sometimes i wish that that I had never even met you. When I would go down a dark path , you were there for me, but I never said I ever wanted any of your help. Without you, I would probably be dead by now, and in my mind,that is the best possible outcome.

I hate you, and I love you.

-Peter

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Is it weird to just write everything down kind of like a journal, but except it's basically a giant rant and no one will read it but me?

>>17934804
No.

It can be very therapeutic.
A lot of shrinks will suggest you do just that, and after some time passes you are to reread it to gauge where you were and where you are now. Helps to show yourself that you're progressing or regressing because out of everyone out there - you'll listen to yourself.

I miss you so darn much!! When will this hope that you'll talk to me stop? Do you ever even think about me...?

He really does want to do that, doesn't he? I wouldn't know how to respond in a situation where he used force.

Tried to be a computer science major. Got a C+ in the introductory course and dropped out of the second course. When I told my mom I thought about killing myself because I'm an idiot and haven't made any friends, she pretty much forced me into being an English major even though we both now I'm totally fucked on that front since I have no connections. Pretty much since high school, I've breezed through every English course I've ever taken and consistently professors have told me that my writing is great, but that doesn't mean shit when everyone and their cat wants to get paid to be creative and I have no connections. I'm too stupid to do anything worthwhile or that will get me an actual job. I still legitimately believe life would be better for those around me had I never been born. Maybe my dad wouldn't be a drug addict and my mom wouldn't have lost her fucking mind. Whatever. I'm happy that I'll never have to program ever again. Also, this year their coming out with Justice League and Let it Snow movies. I haven't been this excited to go to the movies in years.

I think that I may rush into things too quickly. I don't know why but I feel like I am going to lose it if I don't use it. That's the real reason I picked the college I did. Not because it was the right fit for me. That's why I started a relationship my first semester of college. I don't know anything about her and I don't know if we are a great match or not. Which sucks because I know you fucking love me with all of your heart because i'm the first person who you've ever been with romantically. Which sucks because I think that i'm in love with someone else. Someone who has been there from near the beginning. It all sounds like some shitty movie. Funny how one rash decision can change your entire future.

>>17934764
I don't know. Maybe it's because the big changes in my life so far haven't been good:
>mother dies when 3
>move to live with evil stepmother when 7
>divorce at 11, start pulling out my hair, have no friends and become social outcast, start having academic problems

I'm 19 now, and moving out of my dad's house so I can stay sober. My entire nuclear family has addiction problems, and I can't be around it anymore. It's for the best, but I'll miss him and my sister like hell.

I just wanna be next to you.

I never thought I'd be pathetic like this but I'm pretty sure if you weren't in my life I would be sleeping 20 hours a day

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Wish we were watching shows together or shit dvds.
*sigh*

I'm sorry I lied to you. I didn't mean to, I wanted to protect the fact that you think I'm sweet and nice and not a horrible person that's deceiving. It's an escape and I can't get out. Thank you for making me feel human again. I never meant to hurt you

Haaaaaaalp! I so ugly chinese taiwan women that husband divorcing!!!!! I need money give me now!

>>17935004
Anon, you beauty. Save yourself. There's thousands and thousands of us who have read this and we all believe in you. Shits fucked cunt, but keep it going.

>>17935079
You really hate that woman, huh?

>>17935110
She's a fucking peach by the sound of things. I really want to see pics of her, this has been going on for weeks. Anon, pics or don't cry over burned rice

I wish so much that I was born a boy. I hate myself and I hate being treated like a woman. I can only get off if I'm fucking a girl with a strap on and I always have to keep my tits covered.

I've never told anyone this because all my friends are tumbletards and they'll tell me I'm transgender but I hate trannies and I don't want to live life that way so I'll probably just kill myself .

18 kissless virgin dont know how to talk to girls not sure if i ever will learn.

I've been talking to this girl at work. I've known her for quite a while now but I've recently been showing extreme interest in her. She a very sweet girl and has been very sweet with me. However, she's also been know to not know how to flirt (according to her) and isn't very good at picking up social queues from people. When I've texted her, she's always responded to me. I've never been flirtatious with her while texting with her because I don't want to come on too strong. I've only texted her about 3 times. The forth time I did, she didn't respond to me. All I asked was how she was doing. How should I follow this up? Should I text again later on, should I ask her in person if everything is okay between us since she didn't text back? Should I ignore her from now on to show her that I was hurt by her ignoring me? Should I just act like it never happened and continue to talk to her in person? What should I do?

>>17935171
>tfw im a guy wishing to be a grill but fucking hate trannies holy shit

I feel you, m8, maybe in another life we'll get the jackpot

L,

If you weren't my manager holy shit would I be after your dick.

So wet,
H

A,

Sometimes you seem so into me and then sometimes not at all. I'm not sure what we are, need to ask some questions.

M

Just got out of a 3 year relationship (my first) and honestly i dont know what to feel. I'm sad that it's over since i still love her, but im glad it was a mutual break up and we ended on a good note and are still friends. I have lots of friends, but my closest one is moving away so i dont have anyone to vent to you know? Im just in the big mess of feelings right now. Anyway, thank you for the best 3 years of me life, Alex. You'll always be in my heart

My mind is a sword, and it keeps on cutting. It's emotionally draining, but I can't stop it. I'm way too logical and way too emotional for my own good, and the result is a lacerated heart.

It's been a little over a month since I hooked up with my ex for one night, only for her to immediately go back to her most recent ex who abuses her and barely speaks English.

In order to ensure that she stayed with him, he drove to my house with her at two in the morning that same night to verbally harass me and try to scare the shit out of me in front of her.

At the time it was obviously pretty scary but at this point I feel like it's mostly just sad when a 30yo man gets so insecure that he needs to cuss out a 19 year old kid in order to mark his territory. Not to mention how retarded my ex is for staying with a guy like that.

I'm still not exactly sure how to deal with the whole thing.

>>17935171
Hey, you don't have to be a tumblrina to be a degenerate tranny. And if you have sex dysphoria, you're a tranny whether or not you actually transition. Hate to break the news.

I don't get why being FTM is any worse than being a lesbian, as long as you're reasonable about it. Sure it costs money, but once you're on hormones and get top surgery you can be just another guy.

Consider checking out /ftmg/ on >>>/lgbt/, if you don't already go, and I hope things improve for you whatever you do. Body issues like these suck, and I feel for you.

t. FTM

I can't be myself, because the world does not accept me. And its starting to take a tole on me. I've come to realize because of this there is next to no chance of maintaining a healthy relationship for me, because I just can't show my true self to anyone, and even if I did I am sure it would drive any sane person away. I suppose I am desdined to become a lonely old hermit

I've been dating my girlfriend of 4 months. It's my longest relationship yet. I'm 20, almost 21. So I decided to talk to her about sex. We've kind of brought it up before, but nothing to big. When I asked how comfortable she was with the idea, she said not at all, even down the road. I knew she didn't like the idea of sex, or anything like that. She's a virgin, and she just thinks it's weird. I'm a virgin too, but I guess I kind of get where she's coming from? She's a really quiet girl who's a but introverted. But like, how do I cope with this? I like her, and I'm fine not having sex, but I do want a way to not be sexually frustrated down the line that I'm not having sex with her. Can anyone give me some tips?

You dazzled so much, nothing's been the same since you left. Now you're happier with him than you ever were with me. I wish I knew how you still felt about me, now you refuse to even talk to me. What's keeping you from doing that? No closure, nothing.

I can't function without you in my life. I wish you could speak with me again, even if it's the usual hello how are you what's up. Even a sentance. We helped each other grow so much.. yet it's easy for you to disregard our bond and what we had, why can't I do the same? I miss you.

>>17935110
Yes. This dumb cunt is an irritating stalker who lurks/slanders about others here so the more I post about her severe ugliness the more she shuts up. Stupid bitch.

>>17935227
>I'm fine not having sex

No you're not, if you were you wouldn't even be asking. First step to this is being honest with yourself.

And the next step is being honest with her. Clearly the two of you are at different maturity levels, if she is completely unwilling to ever experiment sexually and you're at a point where you want to, she is too immature (in a sense) to be in a relationship with you.

Plain and simple if there's something that's important to you that you can't get from being with her, you shouldn't be with her. And you should let her know that. Either it'll wake her up to the reality that she needs to contribute to the relationship or the two of you can end it and stop wasting each other's time.

I like my coworker at shitty retail job, i dont really know if i have a chance but she will be quiting soon and i dont know what to do. Ive been trying to get over it but the last 3 nights that shit seeps into my dreams. I really like her but i dont want to fuck it up

>>17935252
I mean, she lets me feel up her breasts and grope her butt, and that's fine. She says she masturbates, maybe because I'm a dumb virgin, I just don't get what's so bad about having sex.

>>17935257
Don't let her leave without you telling her what you feel. You'll regret it for the rest of your life. If she says no, the embarrassment will last for a little bit, but your moment of courage will last forever.

It always about you and let me guess this next story where you manipulate everyone around you so they are one your story and I'm made out the bad guy. And of course the people that matter already sensed your lies and probably discredited you. Always been you as the instigator and in the morning you always forgot the mean shit you would say.

You judgemental bitches make me sick! You spread your vicious gossips on your friends back while you revel in your own filth to make yourselves feel better. I'm glad I cut ties with all of you, you lousy cunts. Stay fat you poisonous skanks, It suits ya'.

This person gave me there number and is stalkimng someone .what the fuck do I do

>>17935273
Thanks anon, i appreciate it.

One of of my co-workers, who I've worked with the past three years and became very good friends with, was abruptly fired a few days ago. It impacted me a lot more than I thought it would. To go from sitting across someone cracking jokes, talking about life, and sharing stories 8 hours a day for several years to just seeing them gone in an instant is a weird feeling.

Makes you really appreciate how much having cool co-workers makes going to work actually enjoyable. On a larger scale, it made me think about how fluid and unpredictable friendships can be. Its like no matter what, life will get in the way and they inevitably dissolve.

The guys desk still looks messy, like someone still works there, which makes it even more sad. I'm sure over time it will get cleaned up neatly and it'll pretty much be like he was never even there; erased from existence. Such is the unforgiving nature of the working world I guess. Feelsbadman

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Uno

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Dos

>>17935333
**Tres

>>17935323
You never got his phone number or added him on Facebook after three years of being "very good friends"? The way your post is written makes it sound like you have no way of talking with him if you're not both working the same job.

>>17935339
We are facebook friends, and I do have his number, but going into work won't be the same. We might hangout once in a while, but the likelihood of that isn't great because he has kids. and we all know how much of a time suck that is. The reality is my job is gonna be a lot more mundane now. It really felt like going and hanging out every day.

>>17935287
initials of person?

>>17935287
That's because you're so selfish that you can't even see what you are doing to people. You lack selfawareness, not to mention ungrateful and disgustingly pampered and lash out as if you were a 10 year old child if things arent gone in your way.

>>17932825

I want to be a better person than the person you knew. I was eating disordered, depressed, and now I am trying to get better, I am better. You said I don't open up enough, that I'm not soft enough. I want to be those things too. I hope we stay friends, I don't care if we keep fucking, or stop. You are the first person I've ever loved. You are the first person to make me love myself. You have done so much for me and I will always appreciate it. I feel too grown for you now but that's okay because our relationship was rotting. I hope this new relationship is different. I hope we find closure in our old and start anew. I care about you to the moon and back. I wish you loved me, but this relationship has made me grow. Thank you. I am now going to date someone emotionally available who knows his own worth and mine too. Maybe some day we can try again but I still need to grow. I've waited so long for you to catch up to me and you don't want, can't, handle me as a person right now. I need you to take care of yourself and go through the same growth I have. I love you so much. I wish you all the good things. This is why I know I love you, because I am letting you do what you need to do, without me.

I have a lot of emotional problems right now but I feel like it's the first time in years that I can't tell anyone about it. Not even on the internet.

I try to type it out but I delete it immediately. I wish I could open up somehow... but I think no one would really take it serious anyways.

>>17935505
You're anonymous here. Just let it out.

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I think I have severe depression but I have no idea how to do anything about it because I don't want to seem like a pussy.
I think of killing myself occasionally and always joke about it.
I ruined the only chance I had with a girl(might I add, the ONLY girl who has ever shown any interest in me) because of my crippling anxiety and because of me being a rude cunt to everyone. Dating didn't work out the right way, and while she tried to salvage the friendship, I did everything in my power to cut it off because that's how I cope. We don't talk to each other anymore, and I think I love her.
All of my few friends are going to back to college, meaning I'll be all alone until summer. They are the only reason I haven't done myself in yet, and I'm not sure what I'll do without them. The thought of them replacing me while they're at school is terrifying to me.
Other than my few irl friends, all of my friends are people on the internet I've never met or seen.
My only passion in life was video games, but I hate them now. I still play at least 8 hours a day.
I graduated high school 6 months ago, and have no future plans for college. I would like to go to be with my friends, but my parents don't approve if the school they go to and refuse to help me at all if I go there. Even if I go to a college, I have no idea what I'd do. I don't have any skills or interests that could become a job.
My parents say that if I don't go to a college soon, they are going to start charging me $500 a month for rent. I make $400 at the most a month.

Life is fucking retarded.

>>17933645
Taкaвa щe мe пoмниш и oбичaш -
щacтливa, лeкoмиcлeнa и cлaбa...

...щe тe пpoгapя мoятa ycмивкa,
пoд пeпeлтa нa днитe ти - жapaвa

lol fuck drugs to get over simple solutions in life. also, i hate stupid men and women. i hate where i live. why do people i share a common vicinity with have to be basically brain dead in anything that involves smarts? i feel like i'm in a cesspool of idiots or assholes (even both apply at the same time) and i can't escape.

I woke up thinking I heard the ringtone for your texts. Mornings are the worst. I miss you.

>>17935259
Masturbate her, and ask her to masturbate you. Start from there.

>>17935544
I did this too. Don't beat yourself up over 'ruining your only chance at a relationship' because, 1, you cannot know how your life will turn out, and 2, because this literally happens to a lot of people and you are just another average Joe that has this happen to him.

>>17935619
And if you don't know how to introduce it: ask her to masturbate in front of you, then masturbate her, etc.

Not sure what will happen next. Everything could fall apart. Or not. Just tell me wtf is going on now, and we'll sort it out somehow

>>17935239
Pix?

>>17935642
Message me on fb. Or just come talk to me next time you see me.

You know I've been waiting for the right girl to dance.

(psst, it's you)

>>17935810
What? Hell, if people on this thread actually used fucking first an last INITIALS we could maybe get some genuine old-fashioned romance going on with you kids. Shit.

>>17935827
because it wasn't for you. The girl it's for would know.

>>17935835
How do you know? This shit COULD be for me. And if she "knows" and you know she "knows" why the fuck are you posting in this anonymous shit to each other and not in bed fucking at this moment? This shit aint normal.

I don't get Millennials. I just don't get you at all. I go out in this shit and yeah, you guys are sweet as hell. You're so needy and broken. But you move so fast. It like Dude, you need to convince me to let you eat my pussy. I need some more shit than, "I want to eat your pussy" two minutes after we meet. To me that shit is just not normal.

>>17935842
Because again, you just don't know. She does, and so do I.

Get over it.

I'm so fucking self-conscious I can barely bring myself to post on an anonymous message board.

>>17935865
Then -- sorry -- but if both you got this great-ass- 4chan-letters-thred romance (lol!) going on then why aren't you in bed at this very moment holding each other, drinking coffee, talking, fucking… what the fuck?

>>17935871
I used to be the same. Do it anyway. There's nothing to lose

I wish i could have met you

You keep breaking my heart. If you wonder why I haven't made any wedding plans, it's because of her. This will never happen with her in the picture. I refuse to live a bitter and jealous life for you. Go be her 'friend'. I'm setting you free to find my own happiness. Sadly it will never be with you. You made your choice a long time ago and I want no part in it. This is going to be the hardest thing I'll ever do.

>>17935888
Same

>>17935961
Juicy post. Details?

>>17935961
I was in this situation last year. He kept saying she was just a friend, but things had happened and she would always give me bitchy looks and stuff I wasn't comfortable with. I tried to talk it openly with him and share my feelings, etc, but it would never change. What was worst was that up until that point I had never been a jelaous partner, and I hated the way I was feeling and becoming some sad cliche of jelaous gf... It was so hard, but at the end I'm proud of myself for having chosen to not spend my life with half a man feeling half a woman.

>>17936087
Years of being second choice really. Empty promises and lies. Pain and heartache. The usual relationshit stuff lol

>>17936107
Exactly. Thanks for sharing it's exactly what I am going through.

M

I don't get it. You initiated the apology after that incident and I reciprocated but why are you still bitter to me? I understand that its's both our fault but was it necessary to act blatantly in front of my friends? You waved goodbye to everyone there except me, why? What was the point of the apology and agreeing to put it all behind us if you didn't even do it? I am ready to start anew, what about you? Shit happened over a year ago, we've moved on with our lives and only yesterday we happened to came across each other at your workplace. The looked at everyone, smiled at them but when you saw me, you immediately went back to work. I don't understand you. We've known each other for over 3 years, almost had a thing with each other but it didn't happen. Everyone thought that we both were inseparable and cute but now, it's just a lost cause.

I have seen you getting with someone through your social media but i'm guassing it didn't work out? Me on the other hand, I'm doing damn great with my petite, cute girlfriend. Could it be, you didn't like to see me do well? I know you have the tendency to act like that sometimes but all i'm asking is from you is: let's wipe the slate clean.

You've got a nice ass though, i'll give you that

S

The only person in the entire world I hate is myself.

I always bring others down with me. I'm a toxic person and i just ended my only friendship over this.

They were a group of people I've been talking to online for about two years. I started exhibiting some of my shitty behaviors. I talked to a few of them and they agreed my behavior was unacceptable but they wanted to work things out with me instead.

I don't get better. I never get better. I've been at this stage multiple times.

I wanted to do the right thing. No matter what i did, id hurt the only people that actually care about me. I decided to end things for good. I believe this is what will hurt them the least.i don't want to be a bad friend.

I'm taking away my privilege to have friends for a while.

>>17936221
get over yourself and if they didn't want to be your friend anymore let it be THEIR decision.

What you're talking about is shitty.

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This prety much sums it all up.

>>17935432
Sorry I'm not selfish cuz I hav da assburgers and hand people poop sandwiches so dey like dam wtf u giving me poop sandwich for? And I'm like. Poop?

Hey Kim

I fucking hate you

Go be a gook somewhere else

>>17936227
Done this four times before and it doesn't get better. I'm a really shitty person and i think it's for the best id not put my friends through a long, overdrawn ordeal.

You know I won't leave you. You know I won't abandon you. Even when I tried I came right back. I never once stopped loving you since being with you. You are the woman I want to spend the rest of my life with, truly. I feel so empty without you. We are the greatest while together.

I cannot wait to see your smile lights once again.
-Wak

a lot of people can learn a lot from watching this.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iXX1O0qPY3o

I think I have a psychological problem with money
I just want to be able to afford to see you I'm sorry I'm so fucked up I love you

please...

This hurts so much. Is it payback? revenge? You started doing this before I did anything wrong... it doesn't make any sense at all. It just hurts me more and more every day.

I'm just not going to stop loving you. There were too many signs that something else is preventing you from being with me. So I wait. I try my hardest to be patient. I am patient.

I can waste time like nobody else.

I will wait forever, until I die.

>>17935466
shit....my ex could have written this almost word for word. What's with women and this logic? "im too grown and mature and ready for a relationship, and you're not, so even though i love you we have to break up".

why dont you stay with him and grow with him and help him be ready? That's what i wish my ex did

the women here on /adv/ really help me battle my loneliness by showing just how fucking dreadful being in a relationship is.

thanks girls, being a creepy nerd isn't so bad now

>>17936456
What did you do wrong?

Holy shit why is everything you do so damn cute. Even the way you throw your hands up in a weird position before sneezing is adorable as fuck.

>>17936655
Are you stalking someone? Why do you do it?

>>17936655
I wish I was cute

>>17936858
No I don't stalk anyone.


>>17936859
You're cute to someone anon :)
Just bee yourself

>>17935888
You chose not to.

Believe in God, not me. We fight our own battles, and I will not pull you into mine. I just wanted you to know that I know, and I rarely even visit this loathsome place beyond casting off the occasional thought. Be well and goodbye.

Never been so madly in love. Not sure how to deal with it yet

>>17936952
withhhh whoooooo

>>17935233
You have clearly hurt them, you more than they have you.

>>17936951
Why should so done not believe in you? Are you not real?

>>17935060
So you are a horrible deceiving person

>>17934813
Everyday. You should try apologizing and treat them better

>>17936977
Not that Op, but people tend to project who they want to be, and suppress the negative that looms inside. What they do not understand is that the chaos has to be channeled otherwise it boils over into other areas of life.

>>17936872
Are you talking about a xcrush then or your child? Or pet?

I need to escape leave this city and this country. Been thinking of sailing overseas but I have no idea how I can do it. I have no reason to stay here no reason at all but I barely have any money, I feel so trapped.

>>17935629
That would work, but whenever I feel her up, she never lets me touch her crotch area. So I'm not sure if it would work, but I'll try.

>>17936497

He broke up with me, famalam. He said he wasn't mentally stable enough to be in a relationship and that I worried him too much.
This is not the first time he's tried to break up with me, but every time I tried to stay and help him get better. But now he has begun to resent me for it.
So, here goes.

>dad asks me to install tinder on his phone
>1 week later and he is going on his 4th date with women my age
>been on it for 2 years
>3 dates in total

>>17935860
I assume you are an older woman. How would a young attractive millennial man go about convincing you to let them eat your pussy? This is my only goal in life, sex with an older woman.

when the meds run out, which I have been tapering pretty hardcore...

it's going to get bad. really really bad. I'm already depressed as fuck. Really really really really depressed. I'm stressed as fuck. I'm anxious. I'm going fucking insane and I started out insane.

I'm 100% positive I will not survive this.

>>17937188
worse, I'm not too sure if I even want to.

>>17932825
I don't know what to do anymore. I used to be determined and strong-minded. However, I couldn't achieve what I want. I still have a job and friends, but the fact that I didn't get what I wanted kills me. The worst part is that I'm too coward to try a "leap of faith" and do something crazy. Maybe because I don't know what bothers me the most. What is the most important thing I want to achieve and I didn't? I have to find an answer for that. But unfortunately, I can't. Not in this environment.

>>17937222
you will only know if you take that leap.

that little girl with her father wasn't her sister, was she?

She's her daughter, right?

>>17933881
Don't tell her. She deserves better than to be hurt like that.

>>17937280
that chubby little infant is mine.

She had a child with her ex and me... and she can't tell me. Not only that, I'm piss broke, extremely depressed, and this whole fucking thing was to "motivate" me somehow as well/get me clean.

Because she is incapable of owning up to her responsibilities, the consequences of her actions. Like how everyone was telling me I was a piece of shit for reporting the hacking stuff to the FBI. Apparently, it's worse to talk about a crime than actually committing a crime. Or completely violating my privacy.

You know, I love you. I miss you. Despite how fucking god awful you are as a person and how you've treated me (which was god-awful)... I believe people are good. I believe in her, I trust her. I truly do. I forgive her. I'm sorry for making it worse.

I'm depressed as fuck because of my mental illness and lack of meaning.

I'm taking care of the first.

How about you give me some meaning?

I love you.

>>17933588
didn't see this, woops
4 letter name, starts with Ev, hate typing it out & thinking it

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>watches initial D atm(reminds me of dad)
>plays pokemon go alone in the park
>into computers, CS,programming and electronics but not enough money or discipline for college
>father left the family recently so alittle depressed
>loves his pet dog
>favorite favorite tag is oni monster girls on doujinshi sites
>hates smoking of any kind
>doesn't drink because the thought of impaired judgment ,means your open to deception from others as well as your own decisions.
>likes the book the "art of war" even though he's never read it,yet like the principles.

>>17937244
I probably will. Still I don't know *where* to go after then...

R died earlier today.

I promised him something.

Fuck you. I wish he had never fucking met you. He had it difficult enough.

I love you brother. He was a faggot that liked Oasis, if you want to remember him.

>>17937419
I'm so sorry. Is this the same R from last thread that ODd?

im overloaded with work this week.. can't wait until it's over and i really hope that test tomorrow goes good.

Everyone is always trying to point the fucking finger and blame someone else for their fuck ups. So much unneeded hate, greed, and selfishness.

What's so hard about saying "Ok well... uhh... we all kinda fucked up here. Like, wew. Holy shit we all fucked up. How about we all just talk to one another and try to figure this shit out. Ok? Good."

But no... let's handle this like a bunch of children. Ghosting, ignoring, manipulating, playing, blaming, and other stupid shit that makes it so much worse. Lying and manipulation is what started this mess so how about a little communication, a little honesty.

Then again I'm uno numero being left in the dark over all this so...

please?

I love you darlin. This is all fucked. Fucked fucked fucked. I just want to make things right again. Does that make me a bad person? I'm not even going off of things from this board, only the shit that's happened elsewhere. I take nothing here as serious but since you all sorta isolated me from all of my friends and family JUST so you can try to manipulate me here...

>>17937419
I'll put on an album for him. RIP, dude.

>>17937452
I don't know but I doubt it. I don't really come to this site.

I've known him 15 years and he didn't OD until this morning. Hes been on opiates as long as I've known him, but he only started shooting H a couple years ago. Intentional. He left a note.

I still don't believe it. Fucking kills me to know I wasn't fucking there when he fucking needed me.

>>17937485
Thanks bro.

>>17937491
I'm so truly sorry for your loss. *hugs*

>>17937481
Why do you say you love someone then go and describing all of the horrible things they've done to you? That's clearly not love. Maybe desperation.

>>17937570
People have emotions and deserve apologies. That's probably why they can rant about what's hurt them and expect an understanding of others actions.

I return this week and I've accepted the fact that we're not going to be together anymore. I've struggled with so much and I'm still struggling but doing my best. I know you'll be there too and I hope to God that whenever we cross paths we can both be mature adults and be polite to one another. I didn't think I'd get to see you again and I feel anxious about this.

If I want to become a journalist do I need to go to school or can I become one on my own by doing my own researching and reporting?

>>17937602
These kind of jobs, just like being an artist, are either by pure luck or by contacts. If you have none of them, your chance to become a journalist is literally zero.

You also don't need a specific school to become a journalist, but a diploma is usually preferred, depending on the company you're gonna work for.

>>17937539
Thank you.

Also he didn't actually know anyone here. At least he never told me.

>>17937570
>describe all the horrible things
Uhh... where, exactly, did I describe FUCKING ANYTHING AT FUCKING ALL?

Seriously... what?

As well, you can have issues, you WILL have issues, in a relationship. We are all human. We all make mistakes. Life isn't black or white. You can say "Hey, this thing you did? It's fucked. Fix it." and "Hey, I fucked up. I'm sorry. I love you. Let me fix it."

>>17937654
>where, exactly, did I describe FUCKING ANYTHING AT FUCKING ALL?
Calm down smegma spergoid.

>Ghosting, ignoring, manipulating, playing, blaming, and other stupid shit that makes it so much worse. Lying and manipulation is what started this mess

>since you all sorta isolated me from all of my friends and family JUST so you can try to manipulate me here...

>>17937678
de·scribe
dəˈskrīb/
verb
gerund or present participle: describing
1.
give an account in words of (someone or something), including all the relevant characteristics, qualities, or events.

Nothing I said fit's that definition.

Learn2english

Tiny baby troll claims another victim

>>17937682
>fit's
ah fuck it.

Fuck everything. FUCK IT ALL TO HELL.

ANYWAYS
- - - - - - -
I'm tired. She hates when I bring definitions up. She's going to hate me for that post even. It's alright baby, I love you, I miss you. Please talk to me. I'm frustrated, I'm extremely fucking depressed. I miss you so god damn much... I get grumpy when I miss you.

>>17937593
Can you call me and be honest? I want to be honest please, before you do.

>>17937705
I wish I could get some honesty.

>>17935060
Oh darn I wonder if this is you. If it is, I'd really like to hear that from you, you know?

>>17937709
Then pick up the phone and call me so, I can be.

>>17937392
Huh, i'm a randomfag who have some of these traits, strange to read...

>>17932825
I really want to date you and I know you like women so it's not a stretch, but we've been friends for so long, I worry I've missed my shot, it seems like you flirt with me but I might just be attention for you....

I'm your only friend
I'm not your only friend
But I'm a little glowing friend
But really I'm not actually your friend
But I'm...

I think people have been so busy trying to encourage me, they haven't stopped to consider that maybe I can't do it.

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>so you dump me and say you dont love me
>then we try to salvage it for 2 months
>then you say you were never attracted to me
>now we don't speak for a month
>next thing you're telling me I'd fuck up any marriage I'd be in and to never marry someone
I know for a fact I was the nice one and now I'm getting on with my life
>so do you want me back and you feel mad that im moving on
>do you hate me because I ruined things with neediness
>do you hate me as a coping mechanism

what a horrible girl ._.

If I truly only used women as a means for my happiness then I would be out fucking women or flirting with them online (which is INCREDIBLY FUCKING EASY FOR ME TO DO.)

That's not the reason I got with you, dummy. The reason is because you were pretty awesome. I admired your work a lot. We talked about this for countless hours. How you can tell a lot about someone by looking at their art. I saw myself in your work. I saw you in mine. Not just aesthetically (even though, totally that too) but more. So much more. You might think I don't know who you truly are, that your lies and secrets go deeper than I can imagine but you're wrong.

I know you more than anyone else in the world could possibly comprehend... just by your work.

I love you. YOU.

Only you. Without you now I feel like my eyes were ripped from my skull. I'm wandering, lost, blind, and even in light I'm surrounded by darkness.

>>17935060
It's probably not you but. I forgive you. Just don't lie to me. I don't think you're a freak. I don't hate you. I really care about you. I just want to understand you. And I'll always appreciate how you helped me.

>>17937774
This is beautiful anon. I hope you two last.

>>17937757

I am sorry Anon.

I am going through the first phase of what you said so (The I dont love you part) but now I am glad we are not gonna save it... Despite how bad I wanna.

>>17937731
I want your attention so we two can get closer. I'm also starting to worry that I have missed my shot if you don't do your part of the game.

GN,
The first time ever I saw your face
I thought the sun rose in your eyes
And the moon and the stars were the gifts you gave
To the dark and the endless sky my love

And the first time ever I kissed your mouth
I felt the earth move through my hands
Like the trembling heart of a captive bird
That was there at my command

And the first time ever I lay with you
I felt your heart so close to mine
And I know our joy would fill the earth
And last 'till the end of time my love

The first time ever I saw your face
-GB

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Missed you.

Currently feeling guilty for not being able to reach out to you but this way no one has to stress out and I can learn new things on my own and for myself. That's what you've always wanted.

tl;dr Thanks for checking up on me. I-I miss your warmth..... *blushy face, adjusts tiara*

I JUST WANT TO BE HELD AND HUGGED AND LOVED

Why not? Why can't you? I'm stressing the fuck out really badly. I'm so close to the edge and you haven't even noticed...

>>17937774
Autism isn't "art" faggot.

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>>17937913

Anon, take a step back from the metaphorical edge. It's going to be okay. Suffering is a part of life, it actually plays a large roll. Whatever is upsetting you now is temporary.

I tell myself that over a dozen times every day to keep myself together. *ehugs* You got this.

>>17937929
"metaphorical", this edge is as real as the demons I see on the walls and ceilings.

Which is to say very fucking real.

>>17937934

Do you have someone you can call like a reliable friend or family member?? What about your psychiatrist?

I don't really have any friends. Not in need of any anyways

>>17937946
I mean... not really. Parents... nah. I told my mother "Hey, I've been having these blackouts where I completely forget shit and act confused as fuck" and she goes "huh... ok." That was the end of the conversation.

No one believes me about the things I see and hear. or they mock me.

No psych. Have appointment on the 20th though. Think it's just a therapist I don't fucking know any more. I have been trying for nearly half a year now but literally can't get an appointment where I live (middle of nowhere midwest) Insurance, scheduling, whatever always complications.

Just... every day is harder than the last for so many reasons.

That other post was not from me. This is. Yes, that is what I want you to do. Love you, and I understand. It is okay, you are not crazy, and now you know. I want the best for you. That is all I have ever wanted. I never want to hurt you or hold you back. It is time for you to heal, and shine. Now get off of here.

What I'm trying to say, is that suicide is your only redemption.

Well then talk to me again about that thing.

I've been in a psychiatric hospital for the last month and have felt like I've made progress and convinced my 'rents to allow me to go back to school. Thing is, I'm freaking out really bad now internally and none of my coping skills are calming me down. I'm afraid if I tell them, they'll hold me against my will. How do I calm down? I know I can do this I just have so many thoughts racing through my mind.

>>17938038
Anon when was the last time you had sex?

>>17938056
Too long ago. What's that gotta do with anything?

>>17938059
It sounds like you need some dick in your ass

It has been over three months since I graduated with my masters and have moved back into my parent's house. And in that time-frame, I have not applied for a single job. None.

I'm lying to everyone that I'm applying for jobs. My parents, my friends, even a therapist, everyone. All I do day in and day out is browse the internet. I hate myself for how pathetic I am and how I'm a burden on my parents. But I'm so depressed and hate myself so much that I no longer have the motivation to do anything.

I realize how fucking awful I sound so feel free to call me whatever you want. I deserve it.

>>17937835
It can't be...but if you want my attention, you certainly have it. What is my part of the game, anyway?

>>17938078
You'll start to feel better a fraction of a bit if you come clean to at least your therapist. Trust me, I've lied for years. I'm a professional liar. I hated myself. Then when I stopped and shared with my therapist and eventually my family, things started getting better. It's not easy but there's a better day or two ahead. You're not alone anon.

>>17938062
Well that'd be a start I guess wouldn't it?

>>17938026
No, it's not because I have done wrong, but kept my feelings bottled up for a very long time. That is it. For once I have been honest with myself. We all have connections in this world, but it does not ever have to escalate to a sexual nature because that is lust not love. Unconditional love triumphs over the other forms. It is about the soul. Even if you never meet that person, or see them again you can just feel it in your soul. True love comes from above and guides each of us.

>>17938106
*I have done nothing wrong.

>>17938091
I stopped seeing the therapist cause I felt I wasn't making progress with her. Maybe I can try again or with a different therapist though. I guess I'm afraid to tell her cause I irrationally fear that she'll judge me as a lazy piece of shit, even as I objectively understand that she has seen it all by this point.

But this helps anon, thank you. I at least feel a little better knowing I'm not alone.

I need you.
I need you so very much

I don't want to be me anymore, I wish I was a different person. I don't mean that I want to kill myself, cause I know my family and friends would miss me, and that the cost of my funeral would only further burden my parents. I don't want to die either cause I still fear death somehow.

The only way I can describe the feeling is that it's like when you're playing an RPG and you realize you fucked up the stats on your character, so you start from the beginning with a new character. I feel like my "stats" or something inside of me was fucked from the start, and I wish I could start over as an entirely new person. And the fact that I can't and that I have to continue living this life makes me want to be a NEET for the rest of my life.

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Every time something happens to you, you change your entire personality. At first it's cool that you learn from your mistakes and all that, but you always go to THE EXTREME with whatever new douchey persona you decide to take on and you end up hurting people.

This time around, you're a fucking triggered Tumblrina who's an outspoken vegan and you're one with the universe or some shit? I can't take much more of this. You were FINE the way you were. Why did you have to change? I didn't mind the fucking obsession with tarot cards and energy crystals or fucking whatever the fuck hippy shit you got into, but once you started posting shit about PETA everywhere and ranting angrily at everyone who decided to eat meat, I decided it was time to drop you. I mean we weren't THAT close anyway, but you helped me out in an emotional time and I just wanted to be kind to you in return. Now, you're just unapproachable. I'm afraid you'll see the make-up on my face and start crying over the whales and some shit. Look man, I love animals too. More than people. But you need to fucking chill the fuck out. It's fine that you have strong ideals and be passionate about them, but if you gotta insult me and everyone you care about in the process then is it even worth it? I mean you might as well just replace us all now with some feminists on tumblr. Just do it not instead of stringing us along for the ride. You'll piss everyone off eventually anyway. All you care about is your fucking ideals.

I don't know if you're going to transform again, but if you do, I don't want to be around to see what new horrible personality you develop. No matter what you do or who you become, you're always a douche in the end.

>>17938132
I'm glad you feel you're not alone. You really aren't. You are not a lazy piece of shit even if you feel like one. You're a beautiful human being.

>>17938150
Then be that person. Use the gifts you have been given. Also, you would get worse stats next time for that. So figure it out this time around. You can do it.

I honestly feel kind of bad that I didn't text you on your birthday. You seem to be pretty depressed lately, and I'm sorry, but this is the life you chose.

Get in touch soon. Would be nice to talk.

>>17938182
>Then be that person. Use the gifts you have been given

That's the thing, I have a hard time naming "gifts" or things I like about myself. I don't even know why my friends like me.

Somebody who used to be my absolute best friend that I stopped seeing 7 years ago over a dumb fight is now completely ghosting me 7 years later. After I finally had the courage to talk to her about it.

And considering I have a psychiatric disorder I have to take meds for that makes me 10x more sensitive to drama and negativity than a regular person well, it's killing me. She has absolutely no idea how much it is hurting me to be ghosted like this.

And it's completely unnecessary too. If she would just talk to me for 5 to 10 minutes I am absolutely dead sure we could clear up that fight and be friends again. She's throwing away the potential for us to be friends again for the rest of our lives because she won't have a 5 minute conversation with me. And I cannot begin to tell you how offensive it is to be treated this way. Ghosting is a horrible extremely hurtful extremely immature way to deal with your problems with another human being. If anybody argues for the use of it outside of an extreme very niche situation then your conflict resolution skills suck absolute donkey cock. And you need to level up how you resolve issues with people instead of resulting to cruel ridiculous methods like this to deal with people. Fuck ghosting.

She has moved on but because of how dear of a friend she was to me I cannot stop missing her. And I cannot stop feeling angry that I was treated this way by her. Treated like I wasn't good enough to deserve being in her life. Treated like I wasn't good enough to talk to her for 5 minutes after SEVEN FUCKING YEARS.
Seven years ladies and gentlemen. Seven years. And honestly I feel sad for her. It's sad that at her age she has not learned any better adult way to deal with her problems.

Who knows. Maybe we never were friends. Maybe she just saw me as an acquaintance and I was just a delusional clingy moron to think otherwise. That would be just like me.

>>17938199
It is immature, but maybe the fight was more for her than it was for you. There's obviously something deeper going on. Sucks because the less you talk to a person you're mad at, the more your mind makes up more reasons to be mad at them. Even if she's over the initial fight, she could already be paranoid about exaggerated shit that never really happened.

It's a sad cycle. She does need to man up, but there's probably a reason behind it. Unless she also has some mental disorders that you or even her might not be aware of. Also maybe someone is spreading rumors about you and making it seem worse? She could also have abandonment issues. You know, like the whole "push them away before they push me away" kind of deal? And the more you mean to that person, the more it could hurt so the more eager someone with those issues can be to push you away.
(holy shit my grammar is fucking gone)

Not making excuses, by the way. Just trying to explain why stuff like this might happen. Just a theory though.

I know these things as an experienced ghoster...lol.

>>17938193
when was their birthday?

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>>17938199
I know how you feel anon. Last year, I had a very good friend ghost me. We had been friends for over a year, and one day in July we decided to travel to a nearby town together. When we first met up, she was happy to see me, but I noticed her become more and more cold towards me as the weekend went on. I never asked her what was wrong because I thought it wasn't my business. When we parted though she seemed to be in a better mood, so I thought things were now fine.

But when I tried to text her a few days after that, she never responded. I also tried calling her cause at one point, I seriously considered that she went missing since we usually texted every day. Eventually, I just texted her that if she isn't going to bother responding, she should just block me and that's what she did.

I still don't know what I did. And that's the worst part, not knowing. Cause if I knew the reason, I could at least have closure. But I can't move on cause I can't stop wondering what I did wrong. And I hate her so much for throwing away our friendship without so much of an explanation. I honestly don't know how I can trust another human being again. Cause if someone I considered a good friend can just drop me without warning, how can I trust anyone?

But at least I'm not alone in this. I hope we can both get over it one day anon.

>>17938197
Hey people aren't friends with people they don't like. I bet you have a lot to offer but you just don't realize it, anon. I'm sure you're a wonderful person. And even a character with messed up stats can beat the boss of you level it up enough. You can do this

>>17938274
Okay I'll remember what you said and keep trying. Thank you anon.

W, did you really write that message here? Wtf are the chances of that. Or did you just say it was you because I said that'd make me happy. I know you don't want me to contact you anymore so, uh, maybe you'll read this. Who knows. Also did you read MY messages here lol

C

>>17938306
If you really want to get back in touch, you might want to use your full first names in this instance. I hope the two of you work things out.

fuck you pegasus
fuck you lacey
fuck me

i fucked up.

I love you so much.

I'm still not buying that your comments were platonic. Don't be ridiculous. I get that you don't want to be with me but don't lie to me. Ffs.

>>17937993

I'm here If you need me. If you need someone to talk to I have kik as well

>>17937015
Basically I have to think of a way to make this work with this in mind.

>>17938012

<3

I hope you were being honest with me. And if you were, I hope you're feeling alright now. I would help if I knew what to say or do, but I guess just waiting is my best bet.

I had the best sex of my life last night. Not a burden or anything, just wanted to tell someone.

Don't you hate when you're rejected but they tell you how great you are? How about you tell me what you don't like about me so I know what to work on. Of course, I'm too chicken to ask that. But damn it, every time you complimented me just made me feel worse.

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I'm sorry for everything I ever did to you, Erica. I never wanted to hurt you, but I went out of control, and I regret it. I want to improve and change myself, but i'm actually really sad you don't have a place in my future anymore.

I dearly miss you every single day, but I know I can't miss you forever...so I at least wanted to let you know that I'm still deeply in love with you while I still am.

I hope you're doing well. I miss you from the bottom of my heart.

This is torture. I can't let go and stop being controlling over you. Thinking about you gets my blood boiling. How do you expect me to calm down like this?

Goddamn it I can't just be platonic now. And why didn't you tell me you got a boyfriend right after we established going out for your birthday? You only told me after I asked and it happened after I had scheduled the visit for your birthday week. You came out 6 hours, and I really appreciate that. I stared at you the whole movie, I got us dinner, and then you stayed the next two days with me. We could be quiet and we were fine, we could play some random game, we could shit talk. It was perfect to me. You felt like family to me already. I've never been able to be so clear with someone before. I was staring so hard because I didn't want you to leave and all your pictures never do justice. Normally, all I want to do is forget, but of course you do this. I just wanted to remember.
And you've had so many bad situations, your drunkard mother, your cheating father, your stalkers, your harassers. I just want to be your best friend and lover. I've known you for four years now. Why can't you just let your guard down for someone you know cares? I told you I won't leave and I never have. I've always been here and you know I love you. He's just going to do you wrong again. Another one to do you wrong. I keep telling you but you never listen. They always use you. I can't stand it. The last one I told you was no good, and he threatened to beat you and he stalked you. I told you, don't let them get to you. But he used his childhood as an excuse to be violent. He used your sympathy and trust.
I was helping you when I was recovering from a seizure. I was helping you when I had surgery on my lungs. In recovery all I could think about was you. I tell you that you're my favorite person.

All you have to do is be honest with me, I'm not going anywhere. You've never had anyone to listen to you through and through and were beaten and shamed for being you. I just want to be with you, understand you, and see you open up.
- Michael

apologies for the stream of consciousness writing.

>>17938773
here's a song for everyone

>https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8SGAcP7Zh6U

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>>17938603
You, too. Cheer up butternut squash. >>17938409
<3
>>17938012
You should be sleeping and getting ready for your special day tomorrow. >>17938144
<3

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Fourty-Five minutes ago I realized that I'm a Hikikomori or extreme shut in and I started to write this ramble. That book that I read about 9 years ago "Welcome to the NHK" gave me warning about this - because it scared me, because, well, it reminded me of myself. Whereas then it was because I watching the house on top that mountain after mother was in the hospital again and step-father tried to kill himself - only gong out to buy groceries when my father would take me to the town; however, I had a reason to be like that because If nobody watched the house it WOULD be burgled because our neighbours were like that - I only had a few months until I was going to move to college and everything worked out for everyone thanks to what I did. Back then, and right before I moved having finished that book I told myself I shouldn't be like that if I didn't have to, and that if I did what I was doing even after that isolation I would become that. But now look at what I have forgotten and become. I fell right into it, like a goddamned pattern begun all over again. But I didn't realize it had begun.this? How could I not see what was happening? Tentatively, I think, this is why I felt that I forgot who I was anymore; however, if that is the case then this pattern started a few years ago... when I stopped being a person to others because I had no money for anything aside from necessities. I was warned - but everything happened so gradually and I became so used to my isolation that I knew nothing else anymore. How bloody wretched I am now, and who was I before?

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>>17938883
>pic unrelated, but enjoy nonetheless
I didn't leave home unless it was for school or food because I never had the spare money to do anything. Nobody came to my house because I had no money for fun things. Nobody talked to me because I had no money to do fun things with them that they wanted to do. Those things be afflicted to me, but this is my fault for not noticing and not doing anything about it. I must of grown used to this pattern because it was the only life I could manage. But now look at me. I had this unnerving feeling the last while of being afraid - but it wasn't anything concrete that I could point to. But now I see it, I see that I was somehow and in some way subconsciously aware I had become what I had feared to become. How long have I been like

>>17938753
Initials?

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I looked in the mirror and I didn't like what was looking back at me. I saw a short, ugly, moronic, annoying, disgusting slob and overall waste of life. I should spare myself and the world the embarrassment of seeing me struggle through life and just kill myself now. The only positive I can see in myself is that I'm good at my work but when that work is just part time at a dairy queen, you realize your worth to the world is non existent and there's nothing there for you

>>17938883
>>17938886
>this?
>How long have I been like
fukked up my cutting

and this one is supposed to be the end
>How bloody wretched I am now, and who was I before?

Oh well, the text window was long. I'm going to do something with my life now.

A, I think about you all the time still. I am so, so ashamed of what I did. I invited myself back into your life, thinking we could be together again and that I could make things right by you. I wanted to be a good friend to you. I was fucking terrible.

You told me the stories of your abuse and my heart fucking bled for you. It ached, and I longed to see you feel confident again. I thought I could fix you or some shit like that. I should've supported you. All I did was slap you down again, time and time again. I was just another cold heart in that avalanche that was your life. I thought, "I am definitely a much better person than I was years ago." but I proved beyond any benefit of the doubt that I was still just trash.

Today, years later, I sit around thinking fondly of you still. My heart aches. Once again, I find myself thinking, "I am definitely a much better person than I was years ago." I don't fucking dare to try and contact you again. At heart, I just wish that you would come find me again, and we could brush it off as, "It was a rough time. We were both going through rough times" but I know that's not how things will play out.

I've ran the scenario in my head hundreds of times. Maybe I hurt you, and you hate me, and if I showed my face again, I'd just open up that hole in your heart again. Maybe I didn't hurt you, and you would hurl insults at me about how I'm not shit and you hate me. Maybe I'm hurting you by ignoring your feelings that you really do care for me, which I fucking doubt. That's just me being wishful and juvenile.

It's funny though. When I think about you, and the relationship we had, I can so plainly say the things that I would never say. I can easily admit to myself that I'm selfish, and that I'm only thinking of myself. That maybe you're just a tool for me to feel good about myself. When I think of you, I see all of my possible faults plain as day and every bit of arrogance melts away. I'd give it all up to see you again, Allison.

>>17938892
And on top of that, I've forfeited practically any chance for happiness. I abandoned almost all of my childhood friends during my senior year of highschool. I threw away the chance my councilor gave me to get professional help after school. I didn't work hard enough to get good grades and instead of getting a social life, I was too awkward to make friends so I just stayed home wallowing in self hatred and pity. I only have about $150 in my savings and I have zero ambitions or aspirations for the future. I used to dedicate myself to physical self improvement but then I just couldn't do it anymore with work so now my mental state is just worse.

The only place to go is up at this point but how do I do it?

S.

Everytime I listen to Weird Fishes/Arpeggi by Radiohead. I always think of you. It just perfectly describes how I felt when I fell in love with you. Your eyes are so beautiful, especially when you smile.

- P

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r9k is a bunch of pathetic self deprecaters who create their own problems by relentlessly discussing trannies, normies, black dick, and Chad

>>17938964
Well, duh. The only board that is more autistic than r9k is the containment board for the horses.

Just going to vent a little bit because I'm not good st liking an out more U for Erlinda o people in real life so venting on Japanese image boards is my way of talking about my feelings to someone.
So my girlfriend of over s year broke up with me a few months ago and I got over her pretty quickly. Bare in mind that she broke up with me the day my parents decided that they were separating so that's was shit. My ex used to message me on Facebook even though she's broke up with me and got a new boyfriend but the weirdest part is that she would always message first but back in November she just deleted me off of Facebook without any precaution. I've been told that her new boyfriend is pretty protective so he might of made her remove off of Facebook which if that's the he can't adequately that's pretty funny imo. About 2 weeks ago I found myself missing her more and more. Like fuck man I really miss her. I was going through our old messages last night from when we were together and I remember all the things we used to talk about together and the cute nicknames she'd give me and tell me how much she loves me and that I'm her rock etc and after reading those messages I'm ready to fucking kill myself. On to point of that i found out that my dad was having an affair and just fuck everything man.
This was extremely whiny and people have much bigger problems than me but I just wanted to get it off my chest

>>17938980
I was also typing this extremely quickly whilst on a bus so apologies for any typos

>>17938980
I just read this post over and hot damn my sentences don't make any sense but it was good to type out and post

>>17938872
I don't have a fucking special day tomorrow except for coping with these unresolved feelings.

>>17938012

I got my hopes up. I took her chicken noodle soup while she sat there in her dorm room talking about random shit. I tried, but now I have to be okay with being in the friend zone. I can handle it, but I really love you Starla.

I still want you to shine though, and be the beautiful girl you are.

>>17938887
If asking for mine, it's R.N.

>>17939143
T.

I don't know how to take this all in. It seems like each and every turn it's either do nothing or pure disappointment. Just wish I could move forward onto something more important, like improving my own fucking life.

>>17932825
FUCK YOU AMY I love you so much why you gotta be such a bitch

Sam I really like you...I want to love you, if you let me, I can't give myself to you completely because of how I feel about Amy but if you open up and come through and let me I will love you, I will fuck you like there's no tomorrow and eat your pussy more than you even want, I will take you places and give you food and buy you things, I will hold you in my arms and tell you how beautiful you are and wake you up inside and get you to shine more brightly than you even know...but you have to let me, I can't deal with where we are right now and the longer it takes the further I pull away and the less likely I am to get through to you, I don't want to lose you but I can't handle getting fucked around like this.

I know distance is a slight issue, and also you being older is a thing, but I really don't mind. All I know for certain is that I really want to make things work between us, and see you a lot more. I feel like you are going to affect my life choices, like I may choose your university just to be near you, instead of the quality of the course. I probably sound young and stupid but I've never wanted anything other than to be with you. Thanks for not shutting me out.

:^)

I feel like i should be medicated but i'm too afraid to seek professional help, i dont want my family to find out about any ot this

>>17937385
Does their last name start with an N by any chance?

>>17938872

Ez a vers volt az Ön számára. Nem tudok küldeni itt mégis plato ego van megvitatják személyesen. Szintén nem szeretem a fekete fiúk. Ön ítélve nekem rossz megint, mert ez egyáltalán nem az én forteit. Csakúgy, mint a dallamok és a szimbolizmus. Szeretné tudni, hogy hol lesz a hajtás komolyan soha nem fog hagyni a házat, kivéve, ha ez a munka.

>>17939172
I am not fucking around with you, but you are not going to buy me stuff. Talk to me and get to really know me.

Why am I so fucking paranoid
Why do I get so depressed when you aren't around
Why do I depend so heavily on you
You love me, right? I need to hear it
Please, I'm trusting you enough to be myself around you, you said I could do that

>>17935060
I really value you. It's just shitty that I know your lying to me about the most simple of things. Try be honest, and maybe we can get back to being amazing together.

Arthur, I miss the sex we had. I love how controlling you are in the bedroom, but hate it outside. I'm glad we stopped so I could focus on school and work. I hope you're doing well with your new gf. Please treat her nicely and not like a fuck toy.
I love you.

I just learned an interesting fun fact. Human penis used to have a bone in them, hence the term boner. This is apparently a common thing in mammals in general. Scientists theorize that the penis bone evolved out of the human genome due to monogamy. Mammals that have to fight to reproduce use it to occupy the space so there supermarket have time to do what they do.

Next time any of your retards on here start saying that monogamy isn't a thing or does not belong in human society today take a moment to reflect on this and realize exactly how wrong and delusional you really are and to what lengths you will take your mental gymnastics.

Fucknuts.

>>17939738
Sperm not supermarket.

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Don't know where else to put this or who to talk about it too but I'm becoming a real piece of shit and I really don't care. I'm lowkey obsessed with my friend's wife. I've stolen her underwear while they were hanging out to dry in the bathroom, I take creepshots of her when shes not looking whenever I visit, I screencap her webcam whenever shes streaming because she has huge tits I just wanna bury my face in. I have a whole folder of just pics I snapped from Instagram, fb etc. It's getting bad. I even considered getting a spy camera to put in their bedroom.

Yeah, the guy is my friend but sometimes he's an passive aggressive bully and whenever I start feeling bad about what I'm doing he always does something that makes me not regret it. She's super loyal and I doubt she'll cuck him but women have proven me wrong before.

I wanna delete everything and just stop but I'm in too deep. I think I need help.

Why the fuck do I get such a kick out of songs written around homophones, puns, and shit like that?

The Do -Anita, NO!
Racing Glaciers - Patient Man
North Highlands - Lion Heart
Pretty much every Purity Ring song.

I even write my poems with a retarded amount of homophones/puns, so depending on which way you read it the meaning changes drastically.

honkhonk

I want to punch people that wear trucker hats

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How I let my affection grow. Only for me to keep it to myself in the end, with no trace of you left in where I am now.

>>17939413

>This poem was for you. I can not send here though plato's ego is to discuss in person. Also I don't like black guys. Are you judging me wrong again, because this is not my forteit. As well as the tunes and symbolism. Want to know where the shoot seriously will never leave the House unless it's work

.....nem értem

It's absolutely amazing how you are on my mind literally all day and all night. Every thought is of you. Every dream, you.

I love you far more than is good for me.

and you know it.

I hope I will see you tonight. I hope you will talk to me. I hope you will press against me and I'll feel that heat coming from your body. I hope you will take me home and fuck me for hours, and this time I'll be better and I'll kiss you. I want to kiss you while you're fucking me.

But just a nice hello how are you will be fine.