Military

>>17930248
Kill yourself

>>17930270
Okay

>>17930248
He's telling you to lie because he wants dosh from you being recruited. If they find out later he will have gotten whatever bonus for recruiting and you will be SOL.

Also depends on how bad you want into the military. Per standards of fitness:

2-27d. Current mood disorders including, but not limited to, major depression, bipolar, affective psychoses, depressive not otherwise specified, do not meet the standard.
(1) History of mood disorders requiring outpatient care for longer than 6 months by a physician or other mental health professional, or inpatient treatment in a hospital or residential facility does not meet the standard.
j. History of suicidal behavior, including gesture(s) or attempt(s), or history of self-mutilation, does not meet the standard.

you WILL be discharged if they find out.

>>17930338
What are the odds of getting a waiver?

>>17930339
A lot of it depends on your initiative and how well you are qualified otherwise. Taken ASVAB? What is the recruiting officer's willingness to grant waivers?

>>17930344
I got an 86 on the ASVAB. I want to go into Fire Protection. I also have a AA degree. And my recruiter hasn't brought up waivers. Just lying.

>>17930350
Although it was a while ago, suicide is a major red flag. Mental health waivers are the hardest to secure to be honest with you. But you got a pretty good score.

>>17930248
This guy I went to high school with was a legitimate mental case. Listening to slipknot on full volume. Masturbating obviously in the bathroom. Running around and jumping on the tables during lunch, and telling obviously untrue stories at the age of 16/17, such as "I beat up 5 black guys. I'm dating a model from out of state". You could tell he was off just from a looking at him, and having a 10 second convo. He's been a marine for a few years now. I don't think anyone in the army gives a shit as long as you aren't killing your team mates.

If you're ok mentally now just pretend it never happened. It's not a criminal record. If you think you're going to relapse easily, save everybody's time and don't sign up. Is it active or the guard

>>17930372
Active. But can't MEPS or the clinic on base just look up my medical history?

>>17930381
Nobody got time for that

>>17930386
So if I lie my ass off at MEPS and while active and dont show any signs of issues ill be good to go?

>>17930381
The army wants to know if you have prior convictions, drug charges, alimony, child payments, even large debts owed but mainly the first two. If you want to get in and do this job then don't mention it anymore. It never happened. If somehow it comes to light, then deal with it then and just write it off as something stupid and young with hormones. The worst they can do is kick you out and even then they probably won't. Like the other guy said, they just don't want you going nuts and endangering the other guys. Do your 3/4 years and get out and use your gi bill

>>17930393
Are you depressed. No.
Are you suicidal. No.
Ok then, let's test you for hernia and cough while I jam my finger up your scrotum

>>17930404
What are the odds of being sent to jail and a dishonorably discharge like MEPS says? Or do they save that stuff for criminals and shit?

>>17930393
And don't be ANYWHERE NEAR ANY WEED from now until your piss test or ever during your time in. Dumbest shit ever to get denied or kicked out for it

>>17930415
You won't. If you make it through meps and onto basic, your golden. And I'm not saying they're going to background check you. If you get kicked out during basic, it's only a "failure to adapt" which is literally "too much of a bitch to make it through basic training"

they only know what you tell them, you fucked up by telling your recruiter about it instead of just lying like everyone else

>>17930434
Well, he hasnt put anything in yet and I havent given him ANY records. I can always drive 2 hours and go to a different recruiter

>>17930434
Recruiter even said not to bring it up. He's pretending he never heard it either. Trying to make that quota

>>17930445
You're fine

>>17930454
Okay. Ill just pretend im a perfect guy and have a good time in the Army

>>17930463
That's the spirit

How does the military find out about prior suicidal thoughts / depression if you don't tell them, anyway?

>>17930579
Checking your medical records? That's what I was wondering.

>>17930463

geez he said to omit teenage angst OP, dont be such a cunt about it.

maybe just dont enlist if you're already having this much trouble.

>>17930579

They won't. If you have any serious anxiety/depression issues, you will be broken in basic training and sent home. It will be like you never joined the military.

The military does not have the funding or legal capabilities to pull medical records for every recruit. They will only have what you tell them, and what they discover at meps. I have heard cases of records being pulled years later, if an incident does occur and they need a history, but I don't think that is common practice at all. However, if your suicide attempt involved any police interaction, even as a minor, it has a possibility of coming up.