confidence

>>17928753
Bump

>>17928753

Build your confidence on real skills and knowledge. That way you know you deserve to have it.

By just going to tourneys and giving other players the smash dick. And not giving a fuck.

>>17928753

>https://youtu.be/WUBhVrZZUGc

>>17928859
I just so happened to use a melee pic lmao. I haven't played that gane in ages
>>17928841
I mean I do have some skills and there are certain things I'm extremely knowledgeable in, but that doesn't make me happy. Especially when everyone else has bigger, better, harder, and more complicated skills and abilities that make mine look basic

>>17928753

context helps.

if someones saying something just to insult you, then its not a negative comment, its an insult.

so than you deconstruct that. first off, is the general idea of what they're saying true? are you in fact a fatty fatty two by four, can't fit through the kitchen door?

if so, consider not being a fatty fatty 2 x 4, can't fit through the kitchen door. diet.

but are you actually skinny? maybe just a little extra meat but not enough that its hindered your life in any measurable way? then consider telling them to mind their own business.

confidence is simply the belief in the truth of something. so if what they say isn't true, it can't hurt you unless you're whiny.

>>17929461

OP is probably gone, but in case he comes back:

You don't lack confidence, you lack self esteem. Work on appreciating the value of what you have and looking less into what others have.

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>>17929789
Yeah the guy you replied to was me, I'm OP. It's hard not to compare myself to others. I used to get made fun of for not running fast, sucking in basketball and football, and having a weird mark in my face. I mean I got my face treated, I run pretty fast despite being a little chubby, abd I was good at both sports at one point (even temporarily playing high school football). But the repeated belittling and me dwelling and thinking about these negative comments and insults made me into the self judgemental 18 year old today. It's hard for me to do anything without imagining an elitist breathing down my neck. It's hell. Everyone says it's easy to brush it off, Abd I have been getting better, but it's hard to do.
I almost never believe the positive comments by my parents, because I see it as them just liking me for being their son.
>>17929629
Sometimes I can't let go of comments or people taunting me, even if it happened years ago. Because everyone else had a perfect past. They were at least decent at sports all their life (or learned quick), thry knew how to open up around others, had their fist kiss early, etc. I may not be in a horrible position now, but I can't even appreciate it since everyone else is in a MUCH better position to me. They practiced these things or worked towards it. I wasn't confident in myself to continue these things while i grew up. It's only now that I pushed myself to draw better, study hsrder, play games better, etc. I didn't believe in myself. I always thin

>>17930022
Find a nice girl and be happy together, then you only care what she thinks and it'll be pretty nice keeping her happy (which in turn should make you happy). That's what I did in high school and it was quite soothing. Just don't be a creep when you are trying to find a girlfriend (not saying you are a creep, just saying to be careful becausw sometimes they take away the wrong things)

>>17930022

Don't listen to the dude with this:

>Find a nice girl and be happy together,

That's bollocks. A girl won't fix your self esteem. You are already putting too much power on what others think of you, using a girl as a crutch won't help you.

Learn to love yourself. How? Sorry, I don't know. YOU have to love you, so think how you can accomplish that. But to be liked, to look confident, first you have to like yourself. You can't depend on other people liking you. To get confidence, work on some self esteem first.

>>17930077
Did you just assume my gender? If he finds a girl that accepts him that seems like some good self assurance. Then they can be happy with each other since they both accept each other.

>>17930096
>Then they can be happy with each other since they both accept each other.

Until one of them changes their mind. Maybe changes jobs, maybe feels confident enough to move on, or maybe just gets bored. And then what? Than OP still has no spine of his own and will fall right back down.

That's even assuming he gets someone to look twice at him when he lets envy and self doubt guide his actions.

Sorry, but OP can't keep kicking this off. Sooner or later he will have to learn to be comfortable on his own skin. No Gf will fix that.

That's a wild goose chase. Everybody gets bothered by negative comments no matter how high your confidence is.

No matter how much meditation I do. No matter how many thought redirecting methods I try. No matter if I say things like "This person is coming from an immature place and I won't stoop to their level and I feel sorry for them"

None of that shit matters. You WILL feel offended or at least bothered when somebody is mean to you and you can't stop that. What matters is how you react to it. I think in most cases the ideal thing to do is confront them in a mature way that teaches them not to be mean like that. And that most people don't have the courage to do this because they lack decent conflict resolution skills with other people.

But i'm getting too deep into this. TL:DR yes they will offend you. If it's a one time deal and you never see them again then walk away. If you keep getting confronted with it everyday then have a 1 on 1 convo with them to end the mean comments. And if they still decide be mean anyway

Beat the living fucking shit out of them until they cry blood

No not really. What you do is you get books on conflict resolution skills and level up how you deal with people like this. Then you come back to them until your conflict resolution skills are so good you deal with them easy peasy.

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>>17930077
>>17930029
>>17930096
>>17930109
I already have a girlfriend. She has confidence issues as well but she handles herself better. We support each other when we have found or worries, and she's not judgemental towards me. Sane goes the other way
>>17930122
It used to be frequent back in school, but I keep dwelling about specific incidents. Whenever I mess up in something I think to myself "what will they say?". Same for people online sometimes ( I don't go crazy in all caps like a little kid when I online argue, but I do feel affected.)
I Need To get brtter at leaving One off insults and Arguments In the past. I need to get better at letting shit go

>>17928753
By accomplishing things that make you proud of yourself, while limiting the mistakes that make you feel like shit. It's tempting to keep looking for an easy way (books, motivational posts and videos, etc) but the truth is you can't *convince* yourself you're worth something. You have to prove it.

>>17930328
Look up the book "getting out of your mind and into your life". This is sort of a no brainer walkthrough self help book with resources and the like. Read throught the pdf and see if it look like it could help. Then do the workshops in the book. I found that buying it helped a lot with the workshops but the point of doing them is so that you can review and move forward with your understanding of the problem. Also consider therapy, it can be effective as long as you don't use it for sympathy or justification. Remeber that no magic words can fix a ongoign psychological problem. It takes work, which is rewarding and even enjoyable, but it's still work.