Help me help my brother?

>>17927214
let him use you as a reference but change your last name or use your middle name.

Take him to a club to dance and get him drunk?

>>17927251
I would let him use me as a reference easy, it's more me just being at the end of my ability to run his life.

I hate seeing him down and out like this because he had such a great stretch of life, but he really crashed it himself, and even as I told him he was going to ruin a good thing WHILE he was ruining it.

He has
>therapy
>GI doctor (for psychosomatic IBS)
>daily anxiety medicine
>AS NEEDED anxiety medicine
But still fails.

I was an airborne ranger for 6 years and I'm finishing up a degree in radiography, and I can't get my brother to suck it up when his tummy hurts to just finish an 8 hour cashier job.

I KNOW the smart thing is to leave it and let him make his own mistakes, but it's family and I couldn't stand myself doing that. I'm just at the end of my ability to really "help," because he's had all the help I (and family) can possibly give.

What can I possibly do to help someone like this?

go to a bar, & at around the four shit mark, grab his collar, push him outside, & shove him until you both beat the shit out each other

take him camping, make him chop the firewood, if he doesn't, no fire

lead him to experiences which put the normal, minor stress of a day job in perspective

four SHOT mark

fuck

>>17927292
This is close to what I do now. I took him yesterday and forced him into the car to come with me and look at a car to buy. The whole time he's shivering, "I have to poop," anxiety etc but he lived and I wish he'd realize that.

Maybe more forcing is necessary. 8 years ago he wouldn't even leave the house, literally. I think the next thing is going to be a lot of financial support followed by more job hunting. Fun.

>>17927305
i've been through depression before & anxiety is similar. your brain tells you not to do anything. no activity, no struggle, no pain, no gain.
the only way to counteract it is to go out & build a potato cannon or hit on girls downtown or get burgers or what else have you. which you don't do.
because your brain is telling you not to. self-reinforcing behavior.

right now his brain is telling him to avoid stress. the only way to deal with stress is to experience it, but hes never out there impressing the boss by fixing everything or swallowing his pride & talking to the girl across the bar. he doesn't learn to deal, his aversion doesn't decrease, he stays at home, he doesn't learn to deal, self-reinforcing behavior.

the solution is to do shit anyway, regardless of what your brain tells you. anything you or anyone does to get him out of the house & ignoring his pleas to sit at home in his own shit is progress. it breaks the pattern.

protip: if you live in the country, take him for a drive. ice cream or pizza or something. on the way back, pull off the main road & start driving like a madman. redline it around corners. scare the shit out of him. tell him you'll stop when he stops freaking out. he'll stop being afraid of lettuce & going to the mailbox when he experiences real panic. don't be afraid to tell him that his bitchass whiny opinion doesn't matter, we're looking for a car, whether you want to or not. somebody's got to be his willpower, & will is what tells the body to move & ignores the mind telling it to stop.

more forcing is necessary.

>>17927369
This is good advice. Neither of us had a father and I take for granted that "embrace the suck" attitude I learned in the army.

I'm glad I can put it into words now, because I'm hoping to steal your description of his behavior. I just wish in the short term there was something I could do about his job. I'm going to have to force and force him to apply somewhere simple so he just gets positive cash flow now.

>>17927214
Take him into the woods and give him some shrooms. His anxiety and agoraphobia will be greatly reduced, possibly for months.

>>17927214
Does he have a high school degree? If so, he could be a teacher in India/Africa. The perspective should help him.

>>17927403
I wish
>>17927466
He does but I doubt there's anything that even a starving African child could learn from him.

He's been so "up" lately that it kills me to just see him laying down in his dark room, nowhere to go, nobody to see, no one talking to him, nothing on, his video games don't even interest him any more.

I just don't want to see him go out like that, but it seems like what he wants.

One thing I didn't think about until just now, how will he explain to a new employer "I got fired because I REFUSE to hold my shit for more than 30 minutes. Also I shit for 8 hours."

Maybe he could play it off and say he was pretty go from a seasonal job.