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hey /adv/ i come to you guys which i assume as a major problem seeking advice. The events have been from my past and are still affecting me day to day and would like help please. Here is my story. When i was five years old I had a childhood friend she's a female me male. After the hazy blur of preschool was over skip over 13 years we happen to go to the same exact high school me a senior and her a junior.
We connected as soon as we noticed each other, we were having so much fun together sharing stories of our past and how we managed to run into each other it was all so amazing, We also talked about saving ourselves for each other when the time came. As the year went on we started getting closer and closer hanging out and stuff as natural friends do. Then everything went bad. She had told me that one of her guy friends had sexually assaulted her after school while i was at tennis practice. I asked her what did she mean but she didn't want to talk about it anymore. I became so fucking pissed I wanted to beat the living shit out of that little pussy I never saw him around the school and i hate the shit that he got away with. Ever since our friendship has been heading south turning into a huge pile of shit. She completely rejected me whenever we were supposed to chill and even rejected my offer to senior prom. After senior year of graduation she walked into my job and said that she was leaving back to her hometown and then just left. I haven't seen her since.
Cont.
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>>17926442
Two years after i graduate i try to connect with her over Facebook and have a short convo. Eventually i become severely depressed I hadn't had a gf ever since. After a while I couldn't take my life anymore and decide to try and commit suicide. After i realized that i survived I was accepting with what i did and ended up doing time inn a psych ward. But now I have terrible anger issues and autistic rages for no reason for what happened to me. My whole family has think that i have gone insane because i scream out fuck her and wish death upon her. I know it's terribly bad and it sucks because it's starting to become worse and worse because I'm blaming my friend for what happened to her. While in a psych ward and they said i was diagnosed with schizophrenia and gave me meds. Now that my meds are all gone I'm still throwing nonsensical temper tantrums for no reasons and it's fucking ruining my life, i'm suffering from major migraines and now I'm not to sure on how to handle my life anymore. Please help me /adv/
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>now that my meds are gone
FFS, you have a debilitating mental illness, get more fucking meds
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>>17926450
besides medication is there any other way to cope with what i'm going through? I don't want to feel drugged up because of this. I was a perfectly healthy person and want to become my normal self again
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>>17926480
You have schizophrenia. You NEED medication and could very desperately use some therapy to work through your emotions.
You won't feel well until you've already put in a lot of effort. It sucks but you need to push through and make and keep your appointments.
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