Maybe the darkest relationship post you've seen.

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After he was in a relationship, she came crawling back, but being the desperate loner I was then I took her back. I cheated on her a few months later, she never found out... I wasn't in it for love, only for the sex. fast forward a few years, she finds out shes pregnant with our first child. a month later trying to be the good person I proposed, she said yes, we married 2 months later. I wasn't over the moon about getting married, but I was content. we have our first child, she gets an IUD contraceptive. we have a rough patch because she totally quits work, I cheat a few more times because constantly arguing about money, and we're sleeping in different beds for about 1 year. We get closer I don't cheat again,from now on, get a better job getting more money etc. 2 years after our first she decides without telling me she wants another baby. gets IUD out without telling me. we get pregnant a few months later, I was shocked. I never wanted kids in the first place. a month later a miscarriage. we managed, but I was like wtf I thought you had an IUD. She then revealed that she had gotten it removed. It angered me, but I let it go. a year and a half later we found out we were pregnant again. I was a little more accepting of this one. 12 weeks later dead baby. We got pregnant 2 months later with our (now 1 year old) child. I was super supportive She didnt have to work at all and hasn't since our first child was born. I worked 60 hour weeks to support the family. I had been looking for a job where I could spend more time at home. In her 7th month of pregnancy I found that job. I got paid the same hourly, but, had much better work hours, it waas the bees knees as far as ideal jobs for me. I was over the top, she wasn't citing that we would have financial problems. I didn't care my kids were what I wanted to see more of versus my job. My new job was great, except it was high stress at the time. I began to drink... a lot.

I started that job in August of 2015, fast forward to June 16th, 2016 I had been depressed and drunk everyday for a few months,that day I was a bit over the top: paranoid depressed, and feeling alone in life. She was spending all weekend out and about living a carefree life spending the money I earned on useless stuff,. I was tired of working just to break even with bills. I was drunk she was in another room. I loaded a rifle got in bed and yelled for her to come to the room I was in. I calmly said tell me the truth about you and guy from 2007. She denied it all like she always had. I pulled the rifle out from under the blanket, cocked it and stuck it under my chin, and said are you sure about that? She still denied and began pleading for me not to do this to her. I tensed up and decided it was my time, pulled the trigger, but it jammed.

hm.

I became aware of what I had almost done and left, went to my parents houise and spent the night, but returned the next day to and empty house. She moved out of our house to her moms the same day, taking the kids with her. 3 days .later she decided she needed a vacation. Her, her mother and step father went on a vacation, via mine and her savings account. she wiped it clean over the next month.I wanted to reconcile again, asked her what it would take, she said I had to go to counseling. I obliged and took counseling over the next 4 months. I started on vitamins, working out, and stopped drinking as much. I've became a better person in my opinion. fast forward to late November. I had my first born, and we were hanging out at Chuck E.Cheese when he mentioned a "Justin" guy. I very slyly asked a few questions about this Justin fellow. but didn't get much to go on being I was asking a five year old with the attention span of a goldfish. I gathered that my wife, her mom, stepdad and "Justin had took a trip to a local theme park. and "mommy and Justin were just friends" :(

>>17926289
You might be 31 but you still have the emotional maturity if a teenager, congrats.

well you almost killed yourself in front of your wife. fuck, killing yourself is an understatement, you almost blew your own fucking head off in front of her.

you both cheated. this relationship isn't working. its time to move on and please for the love of god get sober. drinking less doesn't matter, you have to quit

I in the most joking of serious questions brought it up in front of her and our five year old. she said oh he's just a friend of step dads. etc etc... Okay I can maybe see that. however in all this time of living in my house alone, I've been doing good as an individual, I've conquered a few things that were crippling for me. I've grown as a person, and as a dad. I told her If things were going to work, she needed to get a job, I wanted things in life, I wanted more for our children I wanted to start savings accounts for our kids. Meanwhile I started a second jon November 28th, to help afford things that I wanted. I got paid cash in hand so I actually got to spend that money on my kids and things that I've wanted, but couldn't afford. She still to this day doesn't know about my second job. Sohere I am, working 2 jobs and mildy happy. wanting to see my kids more than I am. She's still over there living off my earnings at her moms. My own xmas present from her to me was bought by own money, it infuriates me.

>>17926391 thanks for being petty. I may be whatever you say I am. whatever. fuck it. I take care of myself, and financially take care of a wife and kids who may or may not love me. What can you say about yourself besides your love of MLP? Either way I've been thinking a lot lately about how unhappy I am with her, and no matter how I ask she isn't willing to get a job and help support the family. I've been debating telling her I want a divorce. I love her, but I don't love the sack of lazy shit that she has become, nor do I love the fact that I always feel like I've been lied to and used. so, with all of that said what do /adv/?

>>17926425

go for the divorce. go for it without blame but rather understanding, as if giving her what she wanted.

then pray she doesn't wipe you dry as far as alimony and child support goes, but be willing to pay as much as you need to in order to support them.

You're both terrible and what you do at this point really doesn't matter. Do what you want. If that means reconciling with a cheater you hate, fine. If it means divorce and a custody battle, fine.

There's no advice to give here. Your situation is already beyond the brink.

I know, I've been maybe leaning more toward yes definitely I've morally been a horrible husband I've been there for my kids, I've emotionally been there for her when she has needed me, but is there any reconciling any of this, is there any way that I can really forgive her and myself?

>>17926462
>is there any way I can forgive her and myself
The only person on the planet who knows the answer to that question is you.

>>17926470 I feel like I can forgive myself, as selfish as it seems, I was in a low place everytime I cheated, I didn' feel appreciated as a husband, as a provider. I worked while she played. I am really unsure if I can forgive her for not putting in the effort that I have. I have literally sweat, bled, and shed tears to provide for this family. while she has ridden in first class the whole way. Should I tell her how I feel, How do I deal with her turning even the most simple of things against me and trying to make me feel like the bad guy?

I'm not asking for the meaning of life, albeit close, I just want to know how do I move on to enjoy life, to have things I ant, to be able to provde for my kids etc.

>>17926502 I feel that I can forgive myself for cheating. I don't want to get a divorce because of my kids. In the divorce trial I am afraid that she will tell the court of my special playtime that I had with my 5 year old. When I fed her she would open her mouth when I said here comes the train choo choo. One night I was kind of drunk and went into my kids room. I told her here comes the train choo choo only instead of dinner I fed her my penis. Now I am afraid that she will get custody because I will never get to play choo choo with my 1 year old when she gets old enough. How can I fix this?

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>>17926538

ur definitely OP

>>17926547 this isop and that post was by me.

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>>17926538
Please tell me this is a troll thread

>>17926575 It isn't but that post wasn't by me, the OP.

The best thing you could have done, long ago, was to leave her. And I mean LONG ago, before the kids.

Now, the best thing you can do is provide for your children, divorce, and be in their lives. There is no peace of mind living in the presence of scars.

>>17926600 Thank you, and I really mean thank you. This has been the bst reply so far. I love my children and wouldn't take anything for them. even if it means struggling for the rest of my life.

>>17926289
m8, you've literally been cucked by this woman and been her beta supporter. Based on what you've said she has done nothing to deserve your support. You've been used the whole time. Do you even know they're your children for sure?

>>17926393
this

>>17926605
I don't condemn you bro. In this life, nobody knows the thirst of the other. All we can say is that life isn't easy.

Go with God.

Lol I should screencap this for the virgins who believe virginity means loyalty forever and healthy relationships

What a joke

>>17926631
This post has become a board meme. It's so stupid. Good people will make good choices, and even they will be tested, and maybe even fail miserably a percentage of them. Still there are corrupt people who have always been corrupt, and long after losing their virginity remain corrupt. And still others who are made to be corrupt by the very people who claim to love them. The test is a spiritual test, and that is something only time can tell.

>>17926334
She's telling the truth. Kek saved her

>>17926391
His wife fucking other dudes on his back. Somehow OP is immature. Are you a girl by any chance? Today OP wasn't a faggot

Sounds like you might both deserve each other tbqh

>>17926643
Not only OP is a faggot, he's also a cuck. If I can't get over the fact that she cheated on me 10 years ago, what the fuck am I doing with her? You either leave or embrace your cuckness.
Also, her cheating on you doesn't make you a saint that can cheat on her too, when something like that happens, you have some fucking self-respect and you LEAVE. But good job OP, even though you had plenty of time to leave, she did trap you with a kid.

>>17926710
Also, drowning in liquor is really mature. You're right, that's definitely how you fix your problems in a rational and adult way, that's absolutely not childish escapism.

>>17926289
I just don't understand why you married her to begin with. That doesn't really help now though so I won't say any more on that subject. I really do feel for you though, because I have had my own difficulties with alcohol. All I can say is that you should get sober. You will really start to enjoy life more. Sounds like you need to leave her for your own well-being. Be there for your kids, but you and her are not good together.

>>17926289
Op you need to leave. There's literally nothing left here. You're ohviously still hurt, which is completely understandable. She's not taking this relationship seriously. And neither are you. You're taking your relationship with your kids seriously, but as far as your wife you realize that she's just leeching off you and possibly cucking you. The kids will be alright as long as you both make it abundantly clear that you both still love then both to pieces at all times, no matter what. Also, good thing you're only 31 and it's more than possible to find something better with someone better.

It's time to go.

>>17926289
>Maybe the darkest relationship post you've seen.
'tis better be worth the walls.

>My wife and I were virgins when we met and took each others virginity
inb4 one of you cheated

>used condoms
Jesus, that's disgusting. Why didn't she throw them away?

>I guess I forgave her even though I knew she was O.J. Simpson'ing all of this.
Kek.

>I was shocked
After all the shit that happened before? Nigga, come on. After the condom story it was basically "we're still together because we're afraid to let go and find someone better."

>a month later a miscarriage.
Ouch, that sucks.

>We got pregnant
Unfortunate wording.

>I tensed up and decided it was my time, pulled the trigger, but it jammed.
Absolutely pathetic dick move despite the shitty situation you was in, thank fuck chance saved you from your own impulsiveness.

>She moved out of our house to her moms the same day, taking the kids with her.
Can't blame her after THAT stunt.

>I wanted to reconcile again
Uhh oh.

>I obliged and took counseling over the next 4 months. I started on vitamins, working out, and stopped drinking as much. I've became a better person in my opinion.
There is a happy end to all of this?

>brought it up in front of her and our five year old.
Dear lord. Why. Asking her is one thing (although pointless), asking her in front of the kid is bound to cause more problems.

>My own xmas present from her to me was bought by own money, it infuriates me.
Sure it sucks but not your biggest problem.

Couple bucks is more than worth it to get this bitch as far from your life is possible, your priority should be the kids and your own life.