How do you know if a guy is ACTUALLY nice and sweet-tempered,

>>17925038
He'll get mad at you regularly instead of never.

Ever heard of shit tests?

Judge him on everything he ever does ever so that he knows he is never safe to drop his guard and must always make sure he's putting on the right personality for you.

>>17925048
How often is a reasonable regular basis?

>>17925049
I thought those were just redpill "wymminz r evul" propaganda, like getting abortions recreationally.

Also, are you suggesting I risk my life deliberately pissing off someone that I can't be certain won't literally fucking murder me for pissing him off?

>>17925038
Well you could try having an honest, open conversation with him about his temper.

But I suppose you'll just do the retarded woman thing and shit test him, beat around the bushes and then never get your answer and then blame it on him.

>>17925055
My friend had this man.

When she found him, she called me - on christmas! - just because she's so happy she's finally found someone nice (all her other boyfriends have been cheaters and otherwise jerks) and I was so happy for her.

When we were introduced, he was the sweetest and most charming guy I've ever met, this gentle and soft-spoken shy guy, a bit fat and very comely.

A year later she's spent six months doing mental gymnastics trying to convince herself that the relationship is worth it, he's smashed a hole in my friend's kitchen wall during an argument where he accused her of doing absolutely nothing for the sake of the relationship, and she's given him the past two months as an one last chance to mend his ways and quit fucking doing scary and threatening shit.

I told her she's wasting her time. He'd kill her by an accident eventually if given time enough.

Tbh most can't tell. But trust your intuition it's there for a reason

>>17925038
It's easy to tell, it's just that your attraction clouds your judgement and you ignore your instincts by going with "nah he's probably not the type to do that".

>>17925077
I don't have an intuition. I have anxiety.

Anxiety means my intuition says everyone is out to get me.

>>17925078
I'm attracted to the most very soft, shy submissive kind of guys. The kind who feel like you'd leave a dent the shape of a finger on one if you poked him.

Unfortunately, those seem to be the worst.

>>17925056
I dunno, depends how annoying you are. The key is that normal aren't constantly and/or overly aggressive, but they also don't hold it all in. Both ends are unhealthy.

>>17925038
Generally, guys that won't smash your skull tend to act like normal people, instead of insane assholes.

>>17925087
I have zero tolerance to aggression of any kind from anything I can't physically overpower.

>>17925085
A guy who looks like the inbetween is the most normal. Not some lanky nerd but in fair shape, likes most of the regular hobbies, not too sexual, gets on well enough with his parents etc.

Essentially why not just look for a male version of yourself? I always look for a female equivalent of myself and I've had some pretty good relationships as a result.

>>17925093
Couples fight. It's normal and healthy.

When you say aggression are we talking couples arguing or him shakin you up because obviously the latter is unacceptable (unless you fuck him over by cheating or something)

>>17925095
Because

A. I have no concept of self

B. I will never find someone who's the same type of weird as I am

And I don't mean the hurr-durr-not-like-the-other-girls quirky special snowflake shit, I mean I'm legit weird, so much on the border of asperger's that I don't qualify for extremely high-functioning autist nor just very socially awkward neurotypical who thinks and says weird things.

I don't know how often most people have people point out that the things that they think are weird, or that their thought processes are bizarre, but I think I score higher than average.

But if you think you can find me a man who's got both the social skills to be passably presentable around people and contemplate the sex trafficking of Dittos, feel free to tell me where to find one.

>>17925100
Him breaking furniture, throwing stuff, making verbal threats to me or my possessions, physically barring my way to or from anywhere, any and all sorts of threatening behaviour.

>>17925038
Don't test his temper then.

>>17925106
>I have no concept of self
Well you have hobbies right? List some of them. Also list some interests, things you do, what you do (work or college major etc). Maybe also list some things you'd like in a boyfriend too.

>I will never find someone who's the same type of weird as I am
I really doubt you're as weird as you think you are. Having random thoughts like that one trafficking thing you mentioned really isn't strange.

>>17925109
Well shit yeah, that's what I meant by overly aggressive.

That's also unhealthy. I'm just saying the "ideal" is a regular amount that isn't a full blown tantrum. Constant or absent aggression means that something is not being communicated.

I've been with my girlfriend for 8 years and even though we're super close and it's the best relationship I've ever been in, we still fight from time to time. It's just something that has to happen.

>>17925106

First off, Dittos are easily sex trafficked for both men and women, and can produce any kind of partner you put them with. But, I'm not hitting on you, since you're some rando on 4chan.

I would recommend looking into his relationship with his family. Don't get me wrong - it doesn't have to be good. Sometimes people are just dealt a bunch of shit with their awful fucking blood.

But, can they peacefully and rationally navigate the minefield their family puts in front of them? Can they calmly deal with their deepest buttons being pushed? To me, that's the measure of an actual nice man.

Also, pay attention to how he treats strangers and animals. He doesn't have to lay down for anyone, but someone with courtesy and genuine feeling can be found.

>>17925114
Do you have any idea how straining it is to constantly walk on eggshells? You'll forget yourself eventually. You'll let down your guard, get comfortable, forget to be hypervigilant on reading his thoughts and needs.

And when that happens, you'd best be in a situation where doing so is not a matter of life and death.

That's not a dice you want to roll.

>>17925120
I like art, listening to music, drawing and painting, reading random historical things (virtually anything except war and politics, I'm more interested in whether zulus thought that dogs had souls or how manchurian fashion was different from the Han-chinese) and I'm currently trying to figure out where to go to school or what to do for a living.

I just want someone I can be comfortable with, who's okay with keeping a house as clean as I like it, doesn't yell at me or judge me and will help me train a dog together.

>>17925138
Sounds like you've got some pretty good hobbies and interests. But you also mentioned how your anxiety gets in the way greatly so you'll have some real trouble finding someone till you start to over come it.

Have you dated much?

>>17925148
I only have ever had one "boyfriend" and he was a man who makes terrible desicions and I was one of them. He was a crash course on everything I missed about boys out of being too ugly to date in my teens.

I've had plenty of crushes (one-sided) and bullied a whole bunch of them out of sheer social incompetence and I'm ashamed of that now.

>>17925038
use the force, anon

File: 1483606643189.png (276KB, 478x591px) Image search: [Google]

276KB, 478x591px

>>17925085
>I'm attracted to the most very soft, shy submissive kind of guys. The kind who feel like you'd leave a dent the shape of a finger on one if you poked him.
I will never find a grill like this and I hate it. I'm also what you hate, I'm nice to a fault but I will things build up until they burst out in a fit. Never gotten physical though. I think this tends to be an innate trait of excessively shy guys, not tackling issues that bother them and letting themselves get walked over leads to a slow build of restentment and anger which eventually becomes too much. Someone who is as nice as those guys but lacks the occassional aggression will be so, so rare that you'll never find him - it requires an unusual amount of willpower and patience to keep that state.

>>17925106

>A. I have no concept of self

Sounds like you have to sort your own shit out before you are even ready to be dating anyone at all

>B. I will never find someone who's the same type of weird as I am
"LE I'M SO WEIRRDDD XDDDD"
Give me a fucking break, all people are weird

>>17925328
>all people are weird
nah

ive seen 9gag comments. they think they are*out of society weird* for bein 9gaggers. it was pretty cringe. same goes for most of chan community. its sub culture and their population is as much as normalfags

>>17925038
Depends on if he was popular in hs or not.

>>17925448
>mericons