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Hey /adv/
Over the past couple months Ive been trying to peek out me shell a bit and be more social. Couple problems Ive encountered so far:
>Most guides on the subject will tell you to practise on just about everyone, but to show genuine interest and a genuine smile during convo (apparently people easily pick up fake smiles)
>Problem is I don't find most people all that interesting (especially members of the same sex, so guess I'm thinking with my dick a bit)
>Also smiling rarely comes naturally to me
>This extends to compliments too; I feel like I'm sucking up when I dish em out, even in the rare cases where I actually mean what I say
>probably cause I dont handle praise well
>But even if I did disregard all the above, I feel like I'd just be learning to lie to get people to like me, which feels pretty lame desu
>Another thing is while I realize random strangers are best to practise on, it's extremely difficult to show interest in someone I'll never see again (maybe the problem is the use of the FORD technique with these specific people?)
To be clear, I'm not really looking to be able to make TONS of friends, just be able to find a few good ones and get along relatively well with most people I happen to be around often (though I guess the latter is some people's definition of a 'friend', idk).
I'm thinking about practising more with people on stuff like omegle, but feedback on all the above would be nice.
So finally, anyone ever been in a similar boat or have some advice on this?
>pic very much related
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Just bee yourself
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>>17918032
I fully intend to do this when conversing with people, but without a genuine interest in the other party I'm stuck either just talking about myself (which I don't like doing) or making otherwise weak conversation
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Holy hell you sound a lot like me. I've kind of always been a shut in. My parents were trying to raise me to be a Christian man. So they kind of left me locked in the house for some stupid fucking reason tell I was an adult. Needless to say I've been trying my fucking best to be social and it's hard and awkward. But, I think I'm headed in the right direction it's just been a real struggle. My advice is to just keep working on it dude. And remember some people just go away and all you can do is respect their space. Oh and all people really want is someone they can be comfortable around. So teasing is okay as long as it's funny.
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>>17918420
Huh, similar childhood circumstances here. Thanks for the advice dude
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>>17918420
>My parents were trying to raise me to be a Christian man
Fuck, that hits too close to home. Everything I learn about sex comes from the internet, casual sex or even sex before marriage is thing for 'lost' people &c, I hate my family of cavemen.
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>>17918590
As someone who's been in the same position: be careful about placing all the blame on your family. Yes, a lot of the difficulties you face may be their fault, but you make choices too and you need to take responsibility for where you move on from here
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>>17918812
Yeah, I agree, but it's so hard to carry that burden of inadequacy all by myself. I know it's wrong, but I still do it. I'm sorry for that.
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>>17918590
>>17918812
I've kind of reached the point where I'm like ya my mother and father kind of fucked up with me. But I kind of see how brocken they are and how it spread to me. I'm not angry at them if anything I only get angry at my self if I all I do is stay in my cave. This is how you have to grow. P.S. Girl advice. Don't try to look at girls like objects. Treat them as people and they will fucking know and love it and try more to be friends with them then anything else. the rest will take care of it's self.
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