[Boards: 3 / a / aco / adv / an / asp / b / bant / biz / c / can / cgl / ck / cm / co / cock / d / diy / e / fa / fap / fit / fitlit / g / gd / gif / h / hc / his / hm / hr / i / ic / int / jp / k / lgbt / lit / m / mlp / mlpol / mo / mtv / mu / n / news / o / out / outsoc / p / po / pol / qa / qst / r / r9k / s / s4s / sci / soc / sp / spa / t / tg / toy / trash / trv / tv / u / v / vg / vint / vip / vp / vr / w / wg / wsg / wsr / x / y ] [Search | | Home]

"Opening up" in a Relationship

This is a blue board which means that it's for everybody (Safe For Work content only). If you see any adult content, please report it.

Thread replies: 41
Thread images: 2

I've been seeing a girl for about a year and a half, we've had issues like any couple but we worked through them. For the past few months, me being open with my feelings has been a big issue for her. I'm used to relationships where I keep to myself when it comes to my feelings. She felt disconnected from this so I decided to start telling her how I feel on the daily, like how she would tell me how she was feeling. But as the weeks went on it felt like she wasn't respecting me as she used to? She would use how I felt a few days ago or a week ago about something against me. Laugh at me if I got worked up over something small, and even began to yell/talk down to me if we disagreed on something which never happened before when I was more quiet about how I felt, so.. this has got me fucked up. I dumped her out of fear of where this would go. What the hell do you do, I talked to the boys and they said to never open up to a chick, or they treat you like a cuck. Very confused, do I forgive her and hope respect is restored?
>>
>>17916168
>that tranny
god damn it, I see this shitter too much on /v/ as it is
>>
>>17916168
be more aggressive to her, while not inherently being a dick.
>>
She sounds like a fucking bitch, stop dating her. You're allowed to feel, in a good relationship both people get to express ALL of their feelings. Find a new girl who is nice to you.
>>
>>17916262
I don't even know that's true man. I don't know anyone who tells their girlfriend how they feel. I tried it now I regret it. When she started raising her voice at me it just blew my mind. Like now I was weak and not the man I was to her.
>>
>>17916297
I used to tell my ex how I felt no problem man, not all women are as bitchy as this chick lol.
>>
>>17916297

I tell my girlfriend literally everything but I try to also explain why I feel a certain way or why the feeling is not worth hanging onto. You have demographic bias. She doesn't sound like a very nice person and very immature. My girl never does any of that to me.
>>
>>17916168
>She would use how I felt a few days ago or a week ago about something against me. Laugh at me if I got worked up over something small, and even began to yell/talk down to me if we disagreed on something which never happened before when I was more quiet about how I felt, so.. this has got me fucked up.

Well it is impossible to give advice without more context, it sounds like she was toxic to the relationship. I mean people can disagree with why you feel the way you do, or not like that you feel a certain way. But to harp on you for how you feel (which is relatively out of your control), to tease you for how you feel, or in any way hold your own feelings against you is plain immature and toxic. Again context could change my opinion, depending on what your feelings were and how you expressed them, but she sounds like a dick.
>>
>>17916297
> I don't know anyone who tells their girlfriend how they feel.

For what it is worth. The heavy majority of my friends do not express their feelings to their girlfriends. But the few who do on a regular basis have had the healthiest and most long lasting relationships.

Communication is the cornerstone to all relationships. You can express too much, certainly, but it is much harder to express too much than it is too little.
>>
Well anon, if you told her how you felt sad or weak, she has just lost respect for you as a man. A man doesn't feel sad or weak, he fixes his problems when they arise. Doesn't mean you have to hardmode life if you're not feeling like it, but then at least don't tell about it to your girl.
>>
>>17916356

Don't listen to this crap.
>>
>>17916356
complete and utter bullshit
laughable, really

ignore him
>>
>>17916356
> A man doesn't feel sad or weak
Wtf are you on about?I agree with dealing with your problems,but being sad or feeling vulnerable is a basic human function.It tells us that there is something wrong that needs to be dealt with
>but then at least don't tell about it
Behind every good man is a good woman.A woman who can't share a man's burden is useless.Vice versa
>>
Thanks boys, maybe she just was a bitch. Never had a connection with a woman where I could tell her how I feel without feeling guilty about it. This was the first relationship that I really tried and it just blew up in my face
>>
>>17916363
>>17916368
>>17916387
Women aren't attracted to losers or wimps, are they? Weakness is something we value in a woman, it makes her depend and rely on you. If a man is weak and has problems he doesnt try to actively solve or won't find a resolution to, he's being a loser.
>>
>>17916403
>Never had a connection with a woman where I could tell her how I feel without feeling guilty about it.

Being able to be 100% yourself and say how you feel without feeling guilty is the hallmark of a kickass/healthy relationship. If you couldn't find it with her, then good thing you're searching elsewhere.
>>
>>17916403

It's aight m8, how old are you? When I was 17-24 it seemed like I was only meeting bad women. I was too insecure to realize that they sucked at the time. It's not your fault, just look for a nicer girl, they're out there!
>>
>>17916407
>Weakness is something we value in a woman, it makes her depend and rely on you

I sincerely feel pity for you on the off chance you arent simply trolling. You are destined for a rather sad life with that attitude mate.
>>
File: nopezerker.jpg (75KB, 480x272px) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
nopezerker.jpg
75KB, 480x272px
>>17916168
>Opening up in a relationship

...Never ever ever ever EVER do that.

Relationships aren't like in the movies.
As a guy if something ever happens, your only good option is to remain a stoic fun dude in her eyes. If you ever need to vent you go to your group of friends you can trust to not confront her and unload on them and will give you a comical outlook of it. Of course this doesn't mean you can't put your foot down when you think it's needed to avoid getting cucked but you're being a male girlfriend when you "open up" to them and that's not what they want.
>>
>>17916419
Same goes for you too mate:>>17916421
>>
>>17916421

>>> Cuck.

Found the man baby. Ignore this guy. My relationship is great and I share everything with my girlfriend.
>>
>>17916407
Women aren't attracted to fuckin robots either,and I'm not talking about the /r9k/ kind
>Weakness is something we value in a woman
Speak for yourself.A woman who has a considerable degree of tenacity and strength is much more attractive to me
"Hurr dats cuz ur a cuck" I hear you cry
A man who can't handle a strong woman is a cuck
>>
>>17916421
You must be 18 years old to post on this site.
>>
>>17916433

A girl I dated, immediately started dating a robot after we broke up.

At the time it hurt me but she was awful so I guess it all makes sense still. :v
>>
>>17916407
Are you by any chance an animal?
>>
>>17916423
>>17916427
>>17916435
t. male girlfriends
Or just people unaware they're not opening up. Because i'm sure you don't tell your SOs about how some dipshit gave you a look that scared you, how your father beat you as a youngling or other pathetic shit like that.
>>
>>17916433
>ackchually, eh man who cen't handle a stwong woman is eh cuuck
I'm trying to connect with you, but that's something a manchild would also say.
>>
>>17916168
She was a goddamn bitch. She made you feel guilty when you wouldn't open up to her, and as soon as you did - she used your feelings to manipulate you and make herself feel better.

Focus on finding someone who isn't a complete fucking sociopath.
>>
>>17916455
>how your father beat you as a youngling or other pathetic shit like that.

wow, im starting to believe you arent actually trolling. you're in for a rough life if there isnt at least a handful of people you can open up to completely
>>
>>17916452
Of course I am, we all are, are you a robot?
>>
Don't open up to her like a fucking journal. Men keep journals for that reason.

I only share things that I really need to get out of my chest. If you divulege every feeling and secret, your mystery and appeal will disappear. And if you get the map to your heart best know that she's someone you can fully trust and even then it's never a good idea to share 100% your doubts, uncertainties. A man needs to Cary something's for himself. A woman might feel that her man is insecure or whatever from what you tell her.

I only share good things, I tell her good things. Things that went wrong I say but I don't go as far as to pour every Nick and thought and insecurity. We have men for that. Men are more stoic and observant and pragmatic.

Not to pidgeon-hole women. Some are good and trustworthy. you give them a map to your heart and they will take care of it and not crush it or use it against you. Again,she has to be someone you can fully trust and even then a man should keep some things to himself.
>>
>>17916455

Well for example, I told my SO that my mom is mentally ill, her meds make her a zombie and she is not the same person I knew growing up. I also told her that it makes a part of me very sad and that wish for a normal family.

She doesn't treat me any different because she's an understanding and compassionate human being. I do the same for her. She's my best friend not some toxic asshole who judges me for everything.
>>
>>17916469
Good reply.
>>
>>17916482

It's not a good reply. A secure man should be comfortable with all his feelings even the shitty one, he also shouldn't waste time with girls who aren't good and trustworthy. A secure man would prefer to be alone than to be with a bitch.
>>
>>17916410
>>17916403
maybe there's a problem with your personality if you only attract women like that.
Notice how bad relationships take two people?
>>
>>17916490

Maybe being emotionally unavailable is bringing in the crappy girls? The boy is learning how to be a man and turning away shitty women is a good step.
>>
>>17916486
Pal, you contradict yourself. If you're saying a secure man would prefer to be alone, it means he would be secure without a woman on who's shoulder he could cry on. So you agree with the reply.
>>
No. She lost respect for you and abused your vulnerability. It's only fair to do the same. It's good you dumped her rather than she dump you in the future after losing all respect for you. At least you still have your dignity.
>>
>>17916516

No, I didn't contradict myself. You just don't understand me. I'm saying that a secure man can handle being not being in a relationship because his feelings are his own. However a secure man knows that his feelings can be shared and should be shared with good friends to relieve the burden.

Your SO should be a good friend as well as a lover.
>>
>>17916528
Well to be someone's lover, you have to attract them romantically, and for that you need to have male/female positive qualities respectfully. Being insecure and sad is not something you look for in a lover.
>>
>>17916552

You're clueless. No shit no one wants to be around a insecure and sad person all the time.

But pretending that you don't sometimes get insecure and sad is meaningless dishonest compensation. Mature adults want people who know how to respond to their emotions rather than someone who wears them all on their sleeve or hides all of them.
Thread posts: 41
Thread images: 2


[Boards: 3 / a / aco / adv / an / asp / b / bant / biz / c / can / cgl / ck / cm / co / cock / d / diy / e / fa / fap / fit / fitlit / g / gd / gif / h / hc / his / hm / hr / i / ic / int / jp / k / lgbt / lit / m / mlp / mlpol / mo / mtv / mu / n / news / o / out / outsoc / p / po / pol / qa / qst / r / r9k / s / s4s / sci / soc / sp / spa / t / tg / toy / trash / trv / tv / u / v / vg / vint / vip / vp / vr / w / wg / wsg / wsr / x / y] [Search | Top | Home]
Please support this website by donating Bitcoins to 16mKtbZiwW52BLkibtCr8jUg2KVUMTxVQ5
If a post contains copyrighted or illegal content, please click on that post's [Report] button and fill out a post removal request
All trademarks and copyrights on this page are owned by their respective parties. Images uploaded are the responsibility of the Poster. Comments are owned by the Poster.
This is a 4chan archive - all of the content originated from that site. This means that 4Archive shows an archive of their content. If you need information for a Poster - contact them.