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Hey /r/, I need to know how I let go of something that is literally

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Hey /r/,

I need to know how I let go of something that is literally eating me up inside.

I used to be beta as beta's get, you know the type, the shoulder to cry on for the girl you're in love with as she gets absolutely ploughed by the "douchebag" that women constantly complain about.

I loved a girl, she said she loved me. She said I "saved her when she was about to end everything". She was the only girl I ever fell in love with and was virgin before her (I was 27 when I lost my viriginty... yea that kind of beta). She even had a kid from a husband who treated her like shit and the kid didn't bother me, I just thought she was "the one" and I would do anything to be with her.

Unfortunately for me, she was an insufferable attention whore and the only times I would get anything from her was when I treated her like shit. That's when I realised the cheesy but inevitable truth that nice guys do definitely finish last.

Since then, I've been a complete fucking douche and lost count of how many girls i've slept with. So many scenarios where me and another like the same girl, he buys her drinks and compliments her whereas I barely pay attention to them.
The only problem with this life is I'm 30, single and have no trust in women whatsoever. I've done some things I'm not proud of, slept with girls & women I shouldn't have and now I feel dead inside.

I used to be so nice...

Anyone else have a similar problem? How did you get past it?

P.S. Excuse the grammar, I've had a few to drink...
>>
Maybe you never realized how to love yourself and did everything in the pursuit for someone to love/desire you?
>>
>>17915898
Yea maybe... I have a pretty warped view with this lifestyle i'm living and i think i'm too damaged now to get out.
>>
Demographic bias, dude. As best as universities can determine, 7% of women and 12% of men will have an affair sometime during marriage. Yet you're acting like all women are trash. You've been dealing with a lower stratum of humanity. And as the poster before me said, being unable to love yourself hamstrings your love for others. You need to approach better women and learn some compassion for people in general.
>>
Yea I know i'm generalising but I seriously have looked everywhere and I keep seeming to fall into the same kind of girls. Maybe it's me, maybe i'm so damaged, I only attract these kinds of girls now..
>>
>>17916004

Take responsibility for yourself, if you want to change it's up to you. You can still change at this point in your life.
>>
Dam kinda like my story I guess girls are all the same
>>
> the shoulder to cry on for the girl you're in love with as she gets absolutely ploughed by the "douchebag" that women constantly complain about.


I always get confused when I hear this. There's always a huge chance in situations like this, when a woman comes to you crying, that she wants you to rescue her and take her away from her bad relationship, i.e., she would rather be in a relationship with you, yet . . . you don't make any move . . . don't kiss her . . . and so she thinks you don't like her and she goes back to the other guy.

I'm sorry for the off-topic, I've just always found this bewildering.

Yeah, change your social circle, stop hanging out so much in clubs, etc.
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