FAQ

What makes you good enough to dispense advice? How old are you? We need more info, not just the fact you have a vagina.

what race are you?
how do you feel about interracial sex?

>>17915183

What makes anyone good enough to give advice on this board? Nothing. I'm a nobody with a vagina, but I'll try to answer consistently to any questions shot at me here in order to help someone in need. I'm a good listener with a reasonably good head on my shoulders, so I work from there. Friends and family have appreciated my advice, so I'm hoping to help someone here as well.

How come, in a relationship, when a guy is considered a leech, it's a bad thing, but for chicks, it's standard?

>>17915174
Which country are you from?
Will you marry me?

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What are some signs a girl is extremely submissive

>>17915187

I'm white and have no particular feelings about interracial sex. Interracial couples are fine in my eyes as long as the partners love each other, but seeking interracial sex for the sake of "experience" seems distasteful.

>>17915188

well it's more so that most people give anonymous advice in response to a specific thread - you're essentially offering advice when you could be worse off than the people asking. It's just nice to know a bit about the person offering advice, so people can decide if you're in a position where you can relate to them.

Hence the question about age, etc.

>>17915190

This is culture dependent. But being a leech as a guy is fine too if you manage to masquerade it as an unemployment issue.

>>17915191
Finland. And I'm not big on marriage unless it's to bring up kids, so probably not.

>>17915197
If she's quick to change her opinions to suit people around her and modifies her behavior to please other people she's more likely to be submissive. It's quite easy to spot if you keep an eye out on how she behaves around her close friends. There's always a leader in a girl group and the others follow her, look for a follower if you want a submissive girl.

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>>17915190
If this offends your delicate flaps, I can rephrase the question. Why do you think guys are okay with the idea of bringing a user into their life, full knowing what's going to happen, as opposed to girls and their need for romantic companionship, or lack thereof.

Consider this research.

>>17915205

Makes sense. I'm a white woman in my late 20s, reasonably educated and somewhat experiences relationship-wise. I don't know what specifics to add here. I just like helping people who need a second opinion in their situation.

>>17915212
Why does it have to be a masquerade, though? Why can't it just be an honest, "I don't have as much as you" situation?

Girl I've had a thing for for years kissed me a couple months back. Then she backed off the relationship cause she said she wasn't the person I thought she was and I cut ties completely for a couple months. When we started talking again she made a lot of comments about me never leaving her

When I asked her about the comments she said she was scared of losing me as a friend. She said she initially thought the kiss would lead somewhere but freaked out. She says she doesn't wanna play with my emotions. However throughout the conversation, it felt like she was trying to get me to convince her or something (maybe I'm projecting). Anyway, she said we'd talk about this in person, which should happen in a week or so.

As an irl gril, what can I do/say to spin this in my favor?

>>17915243
I should add that it wasn't just a kiss, there was also another kiss and a lot of flirting (we were both away at different times over the summer so not a lot of time to see each other)

>>17915216
>>17915226

I'm assuming you're the same poster. I wish I could give you solid answers, but this is guess work. I think it's down to biology. Women are biologically wired to look for someone who supports them while they're pregnant and raising their offspring. While it is not strictly the case these days, I believe the implications and assumptions carry on to this day and women and society expect this today as well. I'd say look for a career woman if you want to avoid this. Possibly a feminist who wants to build a life for themselves first and foremost and they'll be more accepting of supporting a man than women with more traditional women.

>>17915212
Rejected on 4chan.
>foreveralone ;_;

Do you have nice feetsies? Ever had a footfag bf?

>>17915174
Opinion of SJW's? Especially the ones who take anything out of proportion e.g. Suesy Park and the whole talk show racism crap.

>>17915243

My best advice is, don't get your hopes up. It seems promising, yes, but I'm assuming you're fairly young and if she's your age too, young women like to test their limits and daring with close friends to see what they're capable off. If you're interested in having something with her, I'd say having a "take it or leave it" mentality when going into the discussion with her is the way to go. Despite what most people would have you believe, girls too like to be 'hunters' and if you're too eager she'll feel disinterested. A guy who's available and interested but not enthralled, is way more attractive than someone who's eager to please. But honestly, if she's not into you, there's surely someone better suited for you. You seem like a okay guy.

>>17915247
Greatly appreciated, thank you. Everything is guess work technically; "what we know so far". With everything that's been going on about disregarding gender roles and such, I feel as though there has to be some underlying social mesmerization beyond "biology" that would explain for this. We're just animals and everywhere else in the world, we are equal aside from genitalia.

>>17915226
Not OP but it doesn't have to be. It's 2016 man, I feel like you can find a girl who's okay with you being a stay at home dad.

>>17915252

My first bf was into feet and I had a foot sessions with him a few times. It was kinda cool. While I didn't feel much about it, I liked how it made him react and that was a turn on.

>>17915260
I try not to think of SJWs. Honestly, while they might have some good points, but they also take everything out of proportion so taking anything they say seriously is impossible. I'm gray in every respect and SJWs only see blacks and whites.

>>17915271
> it's 2016 man

Hello from the future!

>>17915274
Would you date someone with a scat fetish?

>>17915278

A tough one, but I'm pretty experimental so I'll say I'd keep dating a scat fetishist if I had already gotten attached to him when he reveals it. With a guy I'm into I might come to like it.

>>17915271
Stay at home dad is one thing. I'm looking at this from a scientific point of view where the motherly instinct isn't exactly that, it's more of a reflex. Certain points where the need for a different kind of attention arises in males that doesn't seem to have anywhere near as high rate in females. I wonder if it stems from male partners having a high rate of leaving the partner immediately after copulating in the animal world. We're only so old a species, beating out homo habilis some 40,000 years ago if I'm correct.

Legit research, it's just taking a while.

>>17915284
Do you think most women in Finland are like you?

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Basically my personality sucks and the majority of people think I'm a bit creepy/weird/off

And for years I tried to "fake it till you make it" with confident body language like the whole internet says, but that only made people treat me WORSE, so I gave up on it. After all "a man can't help his nature"
Point is how do you make up for a bad personality, obviously looks and money help but I'm never going to have a lot in those departments either.

Are glasses a turn off in a dude?

>>17915174
interesting... anyway I'll give it a go:

couple of weeks back I hooked up with a girl in a party, she is much yonger than me, we were both pretty drunk, she was the promoter that got me my ticket, and after we met later during the party was pretty instant hook up, so I've guess she liked me before from texting...

however, she was pretty feisty, wanting me to grab her ass and do more hot stuff, but I knew we had no good place to have sex or take her over (I was with a ride and it was pretty far place)

we did text quite a lot the day after with the hangover and all... but I did try to schedule something up afterwards and she hasn't so responsive, so what are my chances here?

>>17915174
I have nobody in my life. My best fiend was a girl who fucked an old friend of mine who I didn't like, now she's gone entirely.

I'm horrifically depressed and have been drinking to ease my depression but as a result I've driven more people away...

Should I kill myself?

>>17915190
other anon here.... and I'm a guy who actually leeched a whole lot from my ex-gf
so thats a faux vision that being dismistified, and I've known other people like that too.

>>17915294

I have overconfidence issues, so I don't think even most people are like me. But I'm fairly average as a women, yes.

>>17915295
As far as I've discovered there are six points that make up for human social scaling system: looks, charisma, money, smarts, education and status. Status doesn't really count because it's build up with the rest unless you're born royalty. But the rest can be achieved. In a social situation there's always a participant who is of 'higher' standard than the other. Beautiful people fare better with strangers, educated/smart people do better in conversations while money/status people are looked up to when all participants are aware of someone being "better" than the rest. The charismatic people, while rare do best in every situation. The "fake it till you make it" works best if you're aware of this. You have to figure out where you stand. Are you better looking than the people you're interacting with? Use it. Are you better educated? Use it. Are you more eloquent and charming (charismatic)? Use it. It's really about strengths and weaknesses. For example, I'm personally broke af, but I make up for it by being educated (keeping up with any conversation with critical thinking and eloquent arguments) and being fairly good looking (make up hikes my up to 7-8). Figure out your strengths and use them. If you don't have any, work on it.

>>17915297
Not OP, but I'm a girl and find glasses an absolute turn-on. I also wear glasses myself, though, and find it super hot when the guy takes his glasses off and mine before we bang. Yum.

>>17915297

No, as long as they suit his face. I personally find them fairly attractive. But if it bothers you, consider contact lenses if they make you more confident. That's even more attractive.

>>17915299
Unresponsive usually means poor chances, sorry to say. Your best chance is trying to see her face to face as soon as possible again. People have short memories and even if you keep in touch she'll forget how she felt about you in person if you just keep texting. If you can't arrange it, then forget about her for now and focus on other opportunities.

>>17915304

Killing yourself you'll miss every opportunity that could come your way. I somewhat know how you feel as I was in similar spot and considered suicide three years back. If you can, seek professional help. At least for me, voicing the problems I had aloud helped. The therapy didn't do shit, but admitting to myself where my life was going wrong woke my up enough to do something about it. Give the future you a chance.

>>17915345
Can't use contacts, tried before but apparently I have a dry eye problem. Bummer

>>17915370

Eugh, I know that feel. I cry like a bitch with contacts because of dry eyes. I'd say find classes that make you feel good then. I found a stupid sort of pair "as a joke" and later realized that I wear them almost every day. It's an attitude question. If they don't bother you, other people will barely notice.

>>17915377
What if they are thick though? I look like a nerd no matter what frames I get.

>>17915381

I'm only half blind, which means one lens is twice as thick as the other. So talk about looking retarded. When I got mine I googled a few guides on what might suit my face and that helped a bit. But frankly, glasses look stupid no matter what you do. Wearing them is just about accepting it, rocking it and getting used to it. If it bothers you, you can wear them only when necessary, but usually the more you wear them the more used to them you get and the less they bother you.

>>17915381
Get overtly hipster, thick-rimmed plastic frames. They look the best, and don't try to hide the fact that you're a nerd.

>>17915402
I had one of those, I don't to try to hide myself (what does that even mean? I just want to to look better), but they looked awful on my face. My actual frame is more slender and modern.

>>17915394
I use them since I was eleven, so most of my life they were just like another body part, but after I had a brief experience with contacts I feel like I'm imprisoned, it's a strange feeling.

>>17915407
Picture?

I don't want my gf to know I'm a virgin what are some common mistakes I need to avoid

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>>17915418

>>17915420

If you're sure you want to hide it from her, then fake confidence. In sexual situations, don't hesitate to touch her. Especially in the intimate places. Any hesitations gives you away. Familiarize yourself before hand with female anatomy so that you can find her clitoris and vagina without fumbling. Those are the most important things I can come up with. I've only ever been with two virgin guys and what gave their inexperience away was their hesitation to touch. Keep your touch gentle but firm and "on point". If you mean to rub her clitoris, keep the pace even and if you mean to put your fingers in her vagina then make sure it's the right hole. If you haven't experimented much with her, it's okay to explore. You can figure it out by touching her all over as long as you do it without hesitation.

>>17915433
Lol, the worst kind of glasses. I take back what I said earlier, those are definitely not a turn on.

>>17915470
Why are they worst?

>>17915485
Not her, but I don't think they're that bad

>>17915420
To be honest, there's no point pretending you're not a virgin. Even the sexually experienced partners I've been with have been somewhat clueless in bed (2 of 3 vigorously missed my clit), I'd always have to give pointers.

Common mistake is not going down on her first. The guys who are sexually confident always, after a long make out and before penetration, break off the kiss, pull down my trousers, and go down on me for a nice, long time, until I've orgasmed and/or soaking wet. Shows fearlessness and experience, knowing what a girl wants and how to make penetration painless.

Second, very telling mistake, is being a bad kisser who ignores erogenous zones beyond the lips. Don't try to eat my face off, and don't go too fast. Slowly build up to tongue, and don't have a lizard-like tongue poking. Don't just focus on your own pleasure; kiss her neck, behind her ears, her collar bones. The virgin/inexperienced/young guys are usually terrible kissers and can't make out for shit.

Good luck!

Hey Op

I was at a store where a clerk was looking at me. I can sense she wanted to flirt and I see her looking and passing in front of me all the time. I think nothing of it.
When I was about to leave the store she slightly bends over while fixing clothes and i felt a tempted to touch her ass or just give her some contact. Like I was really contemplating touching her bum that my heart felt heavy and stomach felt excited.

I'm glad I didn't because I could have been wrong and potentially been hatged for sexual harassment. How do I express this urge to a girl? This usually happens after 3 days of Not fapping. I kinda like how I'm starting to feel bold after only a few days but I don't know the etiquette to initiate a mating ritual with women I have sexual attraction to. With other girls I'm 100% fine.

BLS help. What should I have done?

>>17915433
>>17915485

OP butting in. Honestly, this is the type of inoffensive design everyone who doesn't want glasses gets. While there's nothing inherently wrong with it, because everyone who doesn't want glasses gets them they are typical of a very specific type of clientele. Basically due to their non-existential design, they make you seem non-existential. If you don't want to wear glasses, get something that suits your face, not something that your face suits no matter what it looks like.

>>17915485
Generally those glasses are just a bad fit on almost anyone's face; people tend to underestimate the width and overall size of their face. You may think that larger, more trendy frames are too big/gimicky but it's just that you're not used to them. Guys (and girls) who tend to wear those also have incredibly fat heads, which could be made to look smaller just by sizing the frames up.

>>17915506
>>17915511
I see, I didn't want to screw up when choosing the frames so ended choosing something too bland, I guess.

>>17915501

Touching strangers is generally not a good idea, yes, because there's always room for misinterpretation. In these types of situations the safest best is flirting by teasing her or complementing her, in ideal case best. The safest bet is to assume that a girl wants to get physical only once she knows you a bit and knows she can trust you. Flirting with girls at work is problematic, because they're obligated to be polite towards customers, so if they respond it doesn't necessarily mean anything. However, it's a good place for practicing. Next time say something teasing, clever and/or complementary. Commenting on her ass specifically might be creepy to some girls, but generally the "I enjoyed the view" types of complements are a safe bet as long as they're teasing, rather than leery. It's a trail and error question really.

>>17915501
Even if she was in love with you, touching her ass like that is no no.

>>17915542

How to flirt from a cold approach?

I can flirt with girls I have a preceding relationship like work or school but never new ones. I don't really do the whole pickup a bar slut thing so I'm kinda underdeveloped in that department.

>>17915564

I guess in normal everyday situations.

My friends tell me they just feel up a girl and most don't mind in a clubbing scenario.

>>17915582
Well, a club is only above an actual brothel in terms of respectability of the people in there.

>>17915575

The surrounding situation is the place to start. Find common ground basically, something she can agree on or that makes her feel appreciated. For example I have a friend who works in retail and every now and then I hear stories from her how random guys have said her sweet things just for putting up with the customers. There was some guy this Christmas who called her an absolute angel for putting up with the customers and while it doesn't seem like a big deal, she's told me this story three times by now. If that guy ever came back and asked her out, she'd say yes for sure. Just look around the situations and find something the two of you can agree on and comment on it to her and offer a complement if possible. Most girls if available love that kind of unexpected attention.

>>17915174
femanon in distress here.

Somewhat new relationship of 6 months and we haven't had penetrative sex yet, nor oral. I want to wait to see if it's for real, burnt before several times. However NYE we went out, I had too much to drink and gave him head in the car on the way home. No problem right except I know how messy this gets so I swallow. He takes me home like a gentleman and I wake up mid day NY to him blowing up my phone and see many text and he is asking if I swallowed before. I have but bf believes I'm not sexually experienced.

Help me femanon, what do I say?

>>17915654

If it bothers you say something vague like you don't believe in making mess when it's avoidable. However, I've found most guys don't mind frankness. I've gotten questions along the lines "have you ever before" and saying yes has always being fine.

>>17915654
> I have but bf believes I'm not sexually experienced.

>Help me femanon, what do I say?

Tell him the truth, exactly the truth. That you just want to wait.Don't lie and tell him you're a virgin or something stupid.

>>17915325
>looks, charisma, money, smarts, education and status
tfw I have none of those
>The "fake it till you make it" works best if you're aware of this. You have to figure out where you stand
I never really thought of that before, thanks

how can i get my ex back

broke up 6 weeks ago, best way to make her like me again if she is really hellbent on moving on/using me for money

>>17915672
I don't know, you think. He/we have inquired a little on history and numbers and he says 1 and I said yes but it's more and I'm afraid to go there again if I can avoid because I've had guys mean and felt like an interrogation. Thankfully I've been with family since yesterday but expect to see him tomorrow evening. Maybe I'll just say I was drunk and didn't realize what I was doing.

>>17915688

The thing about exes is that they're exes for a reason. What is the reason she's your ex? Which one of you ended it and where there any reasons given? Getting exes back depends on a few variables: are you still in love with each other and did anyone get hurt with the break up. If you're still in love and no one got hurt, there's a chance that you can get back together by doing the same things you did in the beginning of the relationship (ask her out, charm her, be exiting). If one of you has moved on by now or got burned by the break up, the chances are that there's too much indifference or bitterness for it to ever work out again and it's just better to move on.

>>17915605
Cool that seems very doable and practical.

I tried completing random girls as practice I think it may have been seen as a creep move by some. Some smiled and said thanks.

Trial and error I guess.

Here's to finding 'The One'

>>17915711
this kid hella insecure girl, hiding it will only end badly. It's real unlikely this won't come up again, I'd just figure out a way to say you don't want to talk about it ever, or just give him your number

>>17915711

Outright lying in a relationship is generally a bad idea. Playing it up or down can be dealt with, but lying tends to turn sour eventually I think it is not fair to him and not fair to you, if lying is the only way to go. I think you should give him the benefit of the doubt that he's a cool guy who can deal with your sexual past as an adult. And if he can't get over it, how do you think he'll ever get over other issues your relationship might face? If you can be fair to him in this and he can be fair to you (and your past) it's better for your relationship longterm, don't you think?

>>17915733
This sounds reasonable but I'm so scared he'll be angry like other guys. I haven't been with many guys and got hurt every time but I have tried things or the guy made me do them. Does swallowing have to mean I've been around or is that something most women don't do normally?

>>17915756

Well, at least personally I've always swallowed and not thought much of it. It's quite literally the neatest way to handle it. I don't know how other women do it, though. Inexperience isn't interchangeable with being a prude, so your bf should be able to understand that you've tried things, even if you haven't been with that many guys. The best way to handle guys' insecurities when it comes to sex is to offer complements. If there's something you haven't done or haven't done much, you can say you're unsure if you like it, but you'd be happy to figure out if you do with him. Guys get uncertain too and it's fine. Offering reassurance makes them feel appreciated.

>>17915756
My experience has been nearly universal in that they'll swallow

>>17915772
thank you femanon. I've been so sick with this, this guy is a good one, I think

>>17915775
Not all the time. I can't. If I do I get a stomach ache.

>>17915756
My two cents as a guy.

Guy gets jealous too whenever we hear girls have done something else with someone even if it's way in the past.

Try to avoid this topic at all cost. It's good you got it out of the way at the start.

Sometimes you can even lie and say it's the first time you did that particular thing.

This is sometimes why I consider holding off sexual escalations beyond making out and groping before 6 months. It's a good filter because if he's around six months in he's somewhat in it for long term. If he starts craving sex showing restraint is a good sign of respecting your wishes and showing his mastery of self control. At the 7 month go wild.

>>17915792
>If he starts craving sex showing restraint
?

>>17915855
Sorry. I meant it's a good sign that he has self control, not only in it for sex, no relying on sex as a main driving factor, and obviously he respects your boundaries by following through.