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Russian woman & dating in America

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Femanon here and frequent lurker, rare poster. This is actually my first thread.
I'm a full time student living in America on the west coast. But I am Russian (and part Ukrainian).

I speak Russian as my native language, and of course I have an accent. I am considered a conventionally attractive person, and I'm a STEM student. I have all sorts of hobbies like filming and photography and art history. So you get the gist: I'm not too Americanized and stick out a little, though not as much as immigrants or people who lived in Russia their whole lives and only recently came here.

My problem comes up with that dating has become almost completely unbearable for me. Every single guy I go on a date with just pays attention way too much to me being Russian. Suddenly everything I like to do is a stereotype and it's "so crazy" that I know how to cook borscht and sling more than a couple shots and be fine. I have to practically give away my life story every time I go on a date because they have to know every little detail about my home country and then by the time the date is almost over, we have literally spent our time only talking about what my home country is like and asking me to say things in Russian. Lots of offensive things can be tossed around really easily too, calling me things like exotic or a Russian spy.

Keep in mind these aren't unintelligent people or people who have never seen somebody with a rich background before. They're upperclassmen and grad students who are already making their own paychecks while studying.

I don't know what to do anymore, wait out the storm and hope American men eventually get bored of raving about how amazing it is that I'm Russian. Or try to buckle down and find another Russian speaker? When I was still new to the dating scene I thought it was just a few people who took it too far, but it's almost every single date I go on this happens.
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>>17914395
>living in commiefornia
There's your problem.
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>>17914403
This is fairly right. Everyone there is obsessed over being "multicultural and understanding" to the point that it makes foreigners sick. I had to deal with the same shit when I was visiting and it gets boring talking about where you're from, which they don't understand.
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>>17914441
Date other slavs.
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>>17914395
>it's another "boo hoo i'm so popular" thread
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>>17914444
Well sorry not everyone's problem is talking to girls lmao
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>>17914442
I'm not OP, just another person that traveled there.
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>>17914395
pics?
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Next time you go on a date and they start asking you all these questions just straight up tell them you don't want to talk about it because you have to all the time.
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date losers that dont give a shit
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You describe yourself as an intelligent person, yet seem to fail to grasp the concept of human curiosity.
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>>17914395
>Keep in mind these aren't unintelligent people
And that's where you're not quite right, people who act like you described are usually at least socially retarded. Besides Americans are generally obsessed by backgrounds while being mostly ignorant about the world beyond, so you're quite special for them ... kinda like a black guy would be in Russia, but due the cultural norms he'd get fewer questions and more nasty looks.

If the stereotyping gets too annoying, just call them out on their shit. Also trying looking for dates during some of your hobbies, the people who're into stuff like that tend to be more aware of the world.

> Russian spy
Come on, that's just a shitty joke.

>wait out the storm and hope American men eventually get bored of raving about how amazing it is that I'm Russian
Not going to happen anytime soon now they got a Russian president. Although with time you're bound to be more Americanized and will stick out less, so there is that.
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>>17914532
Trump is Scottish smdh.
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>>17914526
The line between curiosity and stereotyping is quite thick and takes a special kind of idiot to overstep.
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>>17914535
Last time I checked he was on Putins dick and not raving about how awesome Sturgeon is.
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>>17914395
>I'm a STEM student
wooow amazing
what field?
hope this question doesn't tickle you like the ones about your homeland
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If they start to bring it up way to much during conversation try changing the subject or simply explain how those things bother you. Sometimes people can't understand your feelings or don't see how something can be rude until you make it known.

That being said going on dates with people who have similar interests you will find you have more to talk about than heritage. Sometimes people just talk about whatever they can grasp into because they're too nervous to think of anything else. At that point just suggest different conversations or taking lead of where the conversation is going to.

All in all people are just curious about you and if you give a person enough time to adjust to you there will be far less conversations than your heritage especially if you make it known you find some of the things people say without realising it's rude as insulting. It's okay to set boundaries.
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>>17914537
stereotyping
>making assumptions about someone based off very few details known about them
curiosity
>having an interest in something you may know very little of very much about
is the special idiot who over steps from one of these the other the same type of special idiot that doesnt realize that these arent even remotely near each other that theres actually intermediate word in between these each with there own special thicc little line?
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>>17914395
I know how that feels, since I used to live in a primarily white community in America as an Asian, wasn't really bullied but they kept going "wow what's it like being Chinese, etc" and it drove me nuts
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>>17914395
Would you roleplay Olga from MGS2 holding Snake down and seducing him?
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>>17914538
Better than the muslim nuthugger still in office now.
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>>17914395
Russian (and part Ukranian) immigrant full-time PoliSci student here, though I'm in Colorado

Surprisingly I don't share your problem, in fact I think it's only opened doors for me relationship-wise

Granted, I moved here with my mother when I was 12, and had been taking private English lessons for years before, so I have no detectable accent at all. I think being thrown into public education with little practical knowledge of English helped a lot with that.

People are always very surprised to learn my name and learn that I'm Russian, though I tend to make a point that I'm Ukranian but was raised in a Russian part of Ukraine (especially with older conservative people, to avoid any trace of Commie prejudice people might have)

Anyways, when it comes to dating and friendships it only seems to be something that girls are drawn to and it's a nice conversation starter. It probably helps that I'm very attractive, dress well, and manage to present myself as intelligent (so humble I know). I've never had anyone question me in depth about my time there until we have a solid relationship/friendship. Sure every once in a while I'll get a "OMG SAY SOMETHING IN RUSSIAN" and I'll give them the ole "Yob tvoyu mat", but other than that it usually goes something like:

>I like your name!
>oh wow you grew up in Russia That's cool I couldn't tell.
>haha thanks
>anyways what are you doing later etc etc

I'm sure it's different for a girl, especially living in a very liberal area, as your whole post describes, but I'm sure you'll be able to find someone that doesn't make a point of questioning you about it.

Regardless I wouldn't take it too personally, people tend to be socially retarded and if there's a subject that makes any sort of conversation on a date they'll stick with it, because it's better than silence and they might feel like asking the other party about themselves is generally thought of as a positive trait so they'll turn their interest into questions
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>>17914395
>>17914946
and worst case scenario, come make racially pure Slav babies with me, it should make our parents happy

(hope you make a good borscht)
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Americans are trash. Don't mix with trash. Focus on your studies, and maybe you will randomly meet someone worthwhile.

Let men come to you, you seem too eager to be dating, nothing good can come from that.
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>>17914395
Russian university student in New York City here. Fuck the American man, they're always going to be obsessed with Russian part about you and most of them are probably really weak, especially coming from California which has a bunch of weak man like NYC, and won't meet your expectations of being an actual man.
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>>17914395
Is this /pol now? I'm done with these shit tier threads.
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Upperclassmen might have an educational advantage. But to speak frankly their mummy and daddy's money and private school education won't teach them shit about how to interact with people properly. Date a real man of the people. Middle to lower class men would understand that you aren't your country of origin
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>>17914395
>They're upperclassmen and grad students

To them, you're a diversity trophy.
A "Hey look at how tolerant I am".

Now, I'll be the first to admit, I don't date girls from my own country (UK here, so that might help explain it), but not for exotic backgrounds or any of that bollocks. English women are just so hateful.
Girls from other countries are just nicer and friendlier.

I'd suggest avoiding students, nu-males, and lefties. That said, some right wingers like me do like Russia, they put alot of value in Putin's politics when compared to the far-left rule in the west. It would most likely come up, but it would most likely be asking for your perspective on these things simply out of political interest more than showing off diversity. We get threads like that on /pol/ sometimes, asking Russians their opinions.
How they like their country, it's leadership.
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>>17914946
>>17914957
tfw will never have a handsome and educated raised-in-poverty-and-better-for-it Russian bf

Why live
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You have to remember many Americans go their whole lives without knowing a foreigner. Sure, they might see a dirty mexican at wal-mart, but there is a good chance that they have never talked to someone from another country in their entire lives, so of course everything you say is going to be wild. I have a similar situation when people find out I'm German, they always try to have me say a million things in German, and then they're alwayd like "scheisse bro xDDDDD sprecken sie doytch"

Once the novelty wears off they will probably treat you like a normal person though. That's been my experience.
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You have to accept what you are, and as a Russian woman there are stereotypes about russia that will undoutably come up. After a few weeks of dating in a serious relationship it won't be a highlight any more.

You should expect the same thing if you went to other countries far removed from your home country. The same would happen if you were Australian. Respect what you are, and if someone starts yammering at your culture like they're a school girl then just shut them down "Just because I have an accent doesn't make me a stereotype" and they'll know not to make lighthearted jokes at your expense.
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Hang in there Putina
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>>17914995
>That said, some right wingers like me do like Russia, they put alot of value in Putin's politics when compared to the far-left rule in the west.
That's not true. Some people are actual conservatives rather than reactionary statists. Pic related.

>>17914395
Why are you so touchy? I'm Scottish, and when I was in the US, everyone was telling me they had Scottish heritage, they loved whisky, confusing me with the Irish, and asking if I'd ever met [insert Scottish celebrity]. It's not a big deal, they're just trying to make conversation. Where someone is from is one of the most formative things in their life, and one of the most obvious things about them.

In practical terms, you'd probably avoid this by going on dates with someone you already know, if it bothers you that much, which, again, it should not.
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>>17914395
for me the difficulty is that I need to find a Russian speaking woman. Most American girls (in fact all) have given me the cold shoulder.
I was going to marry a Russian girl, but she was a scammer and just got divorced before I sponsored her. Ran me into the ground and frauded me. So I sent her back home. I actually did the K-1 visa and sent her home after 3 months.
All the Russian women I meet here are all settled in their current relationship, or they married and divorced some guy already.
So I look overseas again. The prior girl I sponsored over 16 years ago.
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>>17916661
wtf lmao
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>>17914957
Honestly that's the dream right there
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>>17914980
You're honestly right
I like the whole idea of having a lot of equal footing in a relationship

But equal footing doesn't mean a soft spoken guy and a woman

It means a woman and a man
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>>17916472
>casually forgetting the fact most white Americans have lots of U.K. Heritage in them
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Hey guys this is Op!!!

I'm really grateful for all the fair minded and thoughtful replies and that I was received so well on my first thread post!

I'll definitely keep in mind a lot of what I've read on here and Im sure things will improve!! : ))))
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>>17917149
Except for the part where that's not really true. There's a reason why America was often called a Germanic country that pretends to be British.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/German_Americans
Thread posts: 40
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