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Open Relationship Advice

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Open Relationship.jpg
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I dated a girl for 3 months about 6 months ago. Things ended really amicably because we both moved and had to break up. We stayed friends long distance but ended up hooking up when we saw each other again.

She wants to get into an open relationship now and definitely intends to make use of the openness whenever we are apart.

I like her and I think I can make this work but I'm curious to hear if anyone else has had a similar experience. Whats the best way to handle this?
>>
Open relationships are not for everyone. You need to free yourself of jealousy and possessiveness, which is never easy, and for some people impossible. Luckily there's a lot that's been written about it. Do a search for "open relationship primers" and get reading so you know what you're in for.
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Nope.

Best way to handle it is not get involved. Every woman I've met who wants an open relationship wants to have the support network of a boyfriend, but also wants a cadre of beta orbiters she can fuck whenever she likes. Fucking toxic. Don't even go there, especially given you have basically no history with this woman.

The only time an open relationship is justified is when you have an existing relationship that has some form of sexual disparity or other issue requiring other partners be involved. Otherwise you're just being some girls whipping boy.
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>>17913490
What exactly would be the difference from what you have now? I fail to see the difference...
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>Every woman I've met who wants an open relationship wants to have the support network of a boyfriend, but also wants a cadre of beta orbiters she can fuck whenever she likes

Putting aside the dismissive language you're using, I seriously do not see what the problem with this is, provided that it's a mutual arrangement between both parties.
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>>17913537
There's nothing really wrong with that, hell, I've done monogamish relationships before - when you're in an invested relationship with someone.

But that's not the situation here. The point is rather, that for a girl who some guy casually dated for 3 months 6 months in the past... it's a massive red flag. He has no investment in that situation, she plainly wants to use him.

If she wants to fuck whomever she wants, that's fine, but that doesn't mean he needs to come along for the ride too, especially when he has no prior investment.
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>>17913557
How is she using him if he is also fucking other partners? How is this disadvantageous for him in any way?
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>>17913577
Not this anon, but usually women have an easier time finding partners for casual sex. Unless OP is good at that, the total of partners she'll be able to get will be much greater than his.

Not that there's something wrong with it, I mean, if both are fine with it, to each their own.
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>>17913616
yeah, we've both had one partner since our new situation and been cool about it
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>>17913577
Because, he'll never get an equal deal out of it. That's the point about the beta orbiters thing - every 'open relationship' woman I've known has a hen-pecked beta boyfriend that is 1/10th as invested in the 'open' part of the relationship as she is, might have one or two flings a year, while she maintains an ongoing harem of guys she uses for sex regularly.

Because of the nature of women and men and casual sex there is an inherent imbalance in the equality of the relationship - it's easy for a guy to accept casual sex from a women that is also fucking a couple of other guys, whereas almost no women would knowingly have sex with a man with even one other partner, let alone multiple.

I'm not even opposed to open relationships. The issue is that 90% of the time it's one partner (usually the woman) that wants the 'open' part of the relationship, and a guy in love that goes along with it, does all the boyfriend duties, but rarely sees the benefits of it.

That's why I keep saying - it's fine if you're in an invested relationship already, because you're both going into a difficult form of relationship with informed consent about the other party. But with some chick you barely know? Nah, she's gonna take advantage. She doesn't want a relationship with *you*, she wants a boyfriend she can always fall back on, and then whatever else that excites her that comes along.
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>>17913664
OP here. I dont know why you think she has to be some malevolent unequal force in this. We both understand what this is and I intend to continue to date besides her. I'd do everything for her I'd do for a close friend but I'm not going to shower her with undue gifts or emotions.
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>>17913634
If she's not a total slut and keep it honest about how many people she had, I don't see why not.

But my question remains >>17913535
What would be the difference? In my opinion the only thing to a long distance relationship is fidelity, and you won't have it in an open relationship either way. What is she expecting of you that she doesn't have yet?
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>>17913710
OP again. The difference that I see are admittedly pretty small. Pet names, frequency of conversation, emotional depth of conversation, expectations of the other person, thats pretty much it. I'd call it friends with benefits if we had never dated before but since we have I'm more inclined to define it as an open relationship
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>>17913706
I get that, but that's the question - at this point, what's the point?

What are you getting by having her in your life that you can't get elsewhere? You have no real shared history beyond casually fucking for a few months. So you're entering into an arrangement that you gain nothing from, but lose freedom from.

Doesn't really sound like it's worth the effort.
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girls with high body counts are low tier relationship material
google virginity and divorce to find statistic that show sluts divorce more
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>>17913718
Yeah that's what I tought. I see no harm in it honestly, it's not like you'll be giving up much or anything for it. It's more like a more intimate fwb. Just let her name it whatever she likes.
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>>17913727
Found the pussy envy virgin
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>>17913490
Why not just keep in touch casually? If you fuck next time you see her, cool.If she finds someone else, cool. Meanwhile pursue an actual gf who isn't long distance.
You know, People used to date casually and not get stuck in the mindset of 'open relationships'
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>>17913887
Thats a good point, its what I'm doing anyway but it seems like a more stable mindset that dosent commit.
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>>17913490
Cuck
Thread posts: 21
Thread images: 1


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