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Live-in Grandpa

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My husband's father lives by himself on permanent disability for a mental health issue. He has been stable for at least 15 years but he is lonely and lives very far away from family. For the past few years he has told us how much he would love to live with us and be caretaker to our 2 children.

Both my husband and I are very career oriented and it would be a wonderful boon for us to have someone who can be there to chauffeur the kids, cook dinners, and handle emergencies and sick days. On the other hand, once the kids are in college I do not intend to live just the 3 of us. I want private time with my husband once we have an empty nest.

My thought is that we buy a house with an additional bedroom and bathroom and let grandpa move in with the understanding that once the kids no longer need his help we will help move him into a nearby active adult community or an assisted living community depending on which is more appropriate. We will cover any expenses he cannot and he will still live close by (right now he is a 6 hour plane ride away!)

Potential downsides to this plan? Positives?
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>>17905916
buy a separate house for him next door or down the street
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>>17905944
That is what we were thinking but right now we have not found the adequate property. We are looking at a new development that actually has an active living center in it, but that would be a townhouse for us and not an actual home.
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I doubt your father in law will live all that long, besides I'm sure once the kids are old enough to move out you'll be glad to have someone around( and if grandpa still lives he might need supervision because times get harder when you age).
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>>17906074
Yes, I feel the same way.
My family is not in favor of the situation. They think I am getting "burdened." And to be honest, I understand. I got married to a man whose father in law is not going to leave him any inheritance. It can be a bit disappointing to a parent.

But he is my father in law and the grandparent to my children. He is heartbreakingly lonely right now, calling my husband upwards 8 times a day. He used to be a professional chef and he loves to cook. I don't think he is very clean but I have no problem being pretty strict and my husband used to be even a tad OCD so I don't think he will be able to slop up our house.

We are planning to fly him out for a visit to see if he really can handle the tasks he has told us he will fulfill. I hope to see he is cleaned up and well-functioning. I do expect as he gets older he will need actual help and it would probably end up costing us much more to care for him if he continues to live so far away.
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I'd encourage you to consider just expanding the house, and giving him a room. If he does have a separate home, at least make sure he has some life alert style device. Also consider that old people often become assholes as they grow older, between their brain falling apart and being frustrated over their lack of mobility.
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>>17905916
>Potential downsides to this plan?

>permanent disability for a mental health issue

why let some pedophile live in your house to destroy your children ?

cripes a fucking mighty
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>>17905916
What kind of mental issue is he being treated for?
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>>17906164
He suffered from severe depression about 18 years ago and I guess it was deemed so bad he was put on disability. He has been living independently since then and for over 10 years he has been firmly stable and upbeat. He takes medication on a daily basis.
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>>17906142
>hurrrr I'm a career womyn and so is my husben so we're gonna let a mentally ill welfare parasite raise our kids for us
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>>17906201
Well look he is family.
What are we supposed to do let him rot away in loneliness all by himself as if he was an orphan?
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>>17906191
I could see this arrangement working, though his past history as a chef might mean he may not respond well to any OCD-based bossing around you may want to do. Don't really know the fellow.

If you and you father-in-law agree, give it a go. Though sounds to me you already had your mind made up, lol.
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>>17906218

ab-so-fucking-lutely

who the fuck cares if he's family ?

your kids are family and oyu want to put them at risk from some serious total fuckup ?
Thread posts: 13
Thread images: 1


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