Did an emotional drunk phone call destroy everything?

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She knew full well how badly it broke me when she left me (claiming it was because of the distance caused by me moving away for uni), and I even sent her a humongous essay that was intended to be closure. I told her how much I loved her and basically said "good luck".

I spent the next month or so almost totally broken as a person, but I managed to start to turn a corner and lighten up again. I went for a no-contact policy - I simply could not bare the thought of being "just as close as always, just without the sex", whatever the hell that means. She texted me once telling she'd found my old bank card in her room while clearing up, but I ignored it.

I'm at a friend's house during my month off from uni when I get a call from her saying she'd been admitted to a psychiatric institute. I attempted to remain as cool and calm as possible, but decided to put her a surprise visit when she told me she'd been thinking about me during her breakdown, seemed to imply it was at least partially caused by me ignoring her, and that the guy she'd left me for turned up to his visiting slot three hours late and high. I turned up in a suit, and with flowers, and basically tried to remain a comforting presence but not get involved. She texts me after I leave saying how she'd "forgotten how much she loved me" - I then hear through the grapevine that on the same day, she got back together with the guy who she left me for. I gave up and decided to walk away forever.

She calls me a few days later telling me how she'd "emotionally destroyed" the guy she left me for, and how he'd been begging her not to leave him. I again remained cool and guarded, but it broke me when I asked her how her Christmas was going and she told me she'd been crying all day. Drunk as fuck, I cried to her on FaceTime and told her how much I loved her. I was absolutely wasted at the time, but I apparently cried a lot and told her how willing I'd be to try again, which she refused.