I think I was exposed to rape as a concept too early

>(continued in reply)
where is the reply

WHERE IS THE REPLY

HOW DOES THIS SAGA END

Not only were you exposed too early but the way your father explained it as a threat to not do it, instead of explaining why its destructive, it was wrong too. He was shaming you for something you haven't even entertained doing yet? Sounds like he's a little fucked up.

Get some therapy it might help you.

>>17900496
eventually I read comics like wolverine were rapists never really got their comeuppance, like sabretooth. It made me uncomfortable.
Then after that, when my dad left as I was 12, I saw horror movies were aliens ahd demons raped and imoregnated women. I was so freaked out yet confused, this gave me a pregnant fetish.
Over the years I get pissed off by the usual rape in comics and movies and anime, then eventually my girlfriend gets raped by a fat fuck in January. I find out in may and that's where I lost my mind. I wanted to hunt and kill him, yet months later I wasn't as angry about it. The rapes in fiction don't even affect me anymore. Hell, I think I'm losing my mind. Recently whenever people get mad at a fictional rapist, I fear , what if they were me? And i get defensive in my mind. I Dont like my mind now.
I can't get therapy
And please don't tell me to kill myself or something, It's not like I have hurt anyone or intend on doing so.
I'm afraid to accidentally touch women in the train lest I mistakenly be branded a pervert.

Your text is rambling and nonsensical.

Whatever your problem is, it's not having been exposed to rape as a concept. I'm guessing developmental delays.

>I can't get therapy
That's bad, because you need it.

>>17900537
Oh sorry about the jumbled speech j was trying to hurry my thoughts out.
Also what type of developmental delays?

You need therapy
I don't care if you "can't"
That's the answer

It's like having cancer and not getting treatment
Up to you

>>17900567
18 year olds are allowed to schedule therapy on their own?
Also I'm on a 10 an hour 20 hours per week budget

>>17900664
http://psychcentral.com/blog/archives/2013/01/14/what-prevents-people-from-seeking-mental-health-treatment/?relatedposts_hit=1&relatedposts_origin=38713&relatedposts_position=0

Aldo for the record you guys don't think I'm evil or something, right?

Get therapy

>>17900700
I'm going to assume you fantasize about rape and that's why you're asking

No, that doesn't make you evil. There are no thought crimes. Doing it makes someone evil.

>>17900700
Femanon here, of course not. Why would I think you are evil if you clearly have a conscious? You've been wrongfully shamed for your sexuality by your dad(and probably society(. You are afraid of being a rapist because your dad put that fear in you. But the thing is, you're not a rapist! So your fear is irrational! Please get some mental help. You are clearly a good person with good intensions and need to get over the mental problems your father inflicted on you. With the way society is right now, I can see your fear of being a rapist is probably reinforced by the crazy feminist male-shaming wave so you need to learn how to perceive what is reality and what is just hype.

If this wasn't an anonymous board I would talk you through this the best I could. But I can't, thats why I hope you will try to see a counselor.

>>17900734
the rare times that I did j felt really scared and guilty. This is why I'm careful of what hentai or porn I watch
Nah I dont fantasize about it. I just have a fear of doing something wrong like that. I have that sane fear woth thinking I might be a terrorist. Because I heard about guantamo bay and j dint wanna go there. I Also Monitor Myself To make Sure I'm Not thinking racist thoughts.

>>17900750
Yup you definitely are experiencing paranoia and irrational thoughts.

>>17900782
I know for sure I was paranoid as a kid but I thought my fears now were justified. As a kid I wasn't able to look up into the sky without worrying aliens were abducting people and would soon get my mother

>>17900836
You need a medical diagnosis that 4chan can't provide.

Please seek psychiatric help any way you can.

>>17900836
I used to have a fear of aliens as a kid too especially after watching documentaries and also i grew up with sleep paralysis. But as an adult I grew out of it.

I used to be like you OP, I grew up on 4chan and was exposed to all sorts of hentai and rape porn as a younger lad.

Back then I think it fucked me up, the concept of rape disgusted me to my bone. It completely revolted me and I refused to fap to any rape hentai, and that rapists should be killed. Eventually you read things like Oyster and it can stay in your mind for days.

Eventually I got older and it doesn't bother me much anymore. I mellowed out.
For the record, I started going on 4chan when I was 14, I'm 24 now.
The first realization that made me not care as much was that I had no problem jerking it to women on man rape or monstergirls. Isn't that quite hypocritical?

Now I don't really care about it much. I still vastly prefer vanilla, but now I don't mind fapping to something like Rance, while I remember detesting the series years ago.

>>17900750
Do you have other fears besides rape and being a terrorist?

>>17900496
Homie I knew about rape before I was 8 and I got no issues. Weirdo.

>>17900496
Your feelings about rape don't seem abnormal, it's just weird that you're obsessing about it like this.