>be with gf for 2 years >Confused whether I want to continue

>we break up
What did you expect?

Personally, I think you should two should go your separate ways.
It will always linger in the back of your mind and ultimately cause another fallout.

Once a cheater...

>>17898852
Looking back I should've at the time I guess. It's been a year and we live together now.

>>17898879
Is it cheating though? We were off and on and she didn't fuck em or anything

>>17898898
this will never go away. it always amazes me how easy it is for women to fuck other men, yet maintain they care about and want a future with a bf or husband. best that you secretly make plans to move and live on your own. its likely the only reason she's with you is for a place to stay and it is probable she is still in contact with one of more of these guys or cultivating more.

>>17898928
She's definitely not using me. I won't go into details but basically she pays rent and I don't.

As for contacting those other guys, two of them live pretty far and the other is a douche that I doubt she still talks to.
I'm tempted to just sneak through her phone to see if I find anything.
The only thing is we have a trip planned in a few months and I don't want to ruin that.

>>17898938
don't be a fool OP. better to verify. speaking from experience prepare yourself

>>17898949
What do you mean?
Going through her phone was the only reason I found out in the past. I did it pretty recently and I didn't find anything.
But everynight I just get this gut feeling it's happening.
I was on meds for a while and it really helped with those feelings and controlling them.

I went to a therapist for a while too and he told me not to go through her phone. He said that if she's a cheater she's a cheater and I'll find out one way or another and that all that matters right now is that she's with me every night.

>she pays rent and I don't
If she's not kicking you to the curb and she's not planning to then get over yourself before you say or do something stupid and wind up on your ass.

Here's what you do:
Nothing.

Do not sneak through her phone. Do not touch her phone. Do not ask her about the things you wouldn't know if you hadn't already fucked up and gone through her phone. Going through her phone is one of the dumbest things you could possibly do, especially if you rely on your girlfriend financially.

By your own admission you were the one treating her poorly and you were not together so whatever happened in that period is fucking irrelevant.

Get a handle on your paranoia and possessiveness before it destroys your relationship.

>>17898999
So are you saying I'm the one in the wrong and she's not a cheater?
Also neither of us rely on each other financially.

>>17899025
>So are you saying I'm the one in the wrong and she's not a cheater?
Yes, you were in the wrong for looking at her phone. That shouldn't be a question.

I don't know if she's a cheater, but dating someone when you're broken up is not cheating.

>Also neither of us rely on each other financially.
That's good.

You fucking live together, you need to be past this high-school bullshit by now.

If you're absolutely desperate and no amount of sober reflection or proper medication can assuage your paranoia the ONLY option-

I REPEAT: THE ONLY VIABLE OPTION AVAILABLE TO YOU IF YOU GIVE A FLYING FUCK ABOUT YOUR RELATIONSHIP

-is to tell your girlfriend that you have or have developed trust issues and you need her help to work through them.

Note: That does not mean you say you went through her phone, that does not mean you accuse her of cheating, that does not mean you bring up your break. It means you frame it as you being at fault and wanting to be open and needing assistance

>>17898961
>is that she's with me every night
people fuck during the day too.

I mean you will find out she is cheating so you have to be prepared to deal with the truth, if not do as your therapist suggest and be a blissfully ignorant fool

>>17899048
She obviously knows I have trust issues.
I confronted her about all this a year ago. She knows I went through her phone cause that was the only evidence I had.