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My gf of 5 months just asked me a hypothetical of whether or not I'd rather have a baby or an STD as I was driving her home. I told her that it's kind of a weird question since some STD's are curable and some are not, and that if we're talking about herpes or HIV that I'd probably pick the baby, but if we're talking about something bacterial or fungal that can be basically cured with a course of antibiotics, that I'd pick one of those. She seemed kind of surprised that I, in her words, "picked the STD over a baby." and so I asked her the question and she said she'd take the baby any time, because no std is curable and it's always gross and in your blood. I tried to tell her that that's not true but she kept insisting and twisting my words. Then I just tried to steer the conversation a different direction and said "anyways, neither of us want a baby right now, right?" We've talked about it before, neither want one now, we always use multiple forms of birth control. Her response was "Yea, you're not lucky enough to have a baby with me anyways." Needless to say, the arrogance of this caught me off guard and we had just pulled up to her house so I just said "well, that's kind of a weird thing to say, but we're here, so good night." Usually she'll give me a goodnight kiss but this time she didn't. This whole conversation seemed really weird to me, and I'm not sure how to take it. I have to see her tomorrow morning too, since I'm taking her to see her parents and she has no car. Should I even bring it up?
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>>17898280
sounds like she was trying to gauge your opinions on having kids, but in a really sideways manner
also she sounds retarded, and it sounds like she was genuinely mad about your response. prob just immature.
i wouldn't bring it up again
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>>17898292
we've been through a couple of times like this where she'll ask me something, i'll answer and she'll get weird. Whenever I see her next she'll just act different and talk to me different. No kisses, sideways hugs rather than both arms, just small stuff like that. It lasts until I basically have to force her to talk about it and it usually ends up with both of us apologizing. I'm kind of getting the feeling this is going to happen again tomorrow.
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she's putting you through some real mental gymnastics. she could be building fodder to make you look like an asshole if you two broke up
>he said he'd rather have the clap than a baby with me!
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>>17898280
Don't drive her anywhere tomorrow dude, fuck those mind games.
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>>17898298
if she pulls that shit just threaten to pull over and let her walk.
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>>17898301
I don't know who she'd want to make me look like an asshole to though, we really don't have any mutual friends. I've introduced her to most of the people I know and vice versa, but all of my friends/family would probably never hear anything from her again if we broke up and vice versa.
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>>17898305
I kind of have to, she was at work till 7, today's my day off. After work she called to see if I wanted to get dinner with her, so she drove to my house and we took her car to dinner. From there she asked if I could drive her home cause she's too tired, and then just take her car home with me and pick her up in it tomorrow. So I said sure, and all of this didn't happen until we were 1-2 minutes from her house. So at the very least i have to drop her car back to her tomorrow. I can't just keep that.
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>>17898317
Well do that then but if she gives you some of that cold shoulder crap like no kisses, side hugs etc then just respond the same way by not even trying to hug or kiss her at all.
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>>17898280
Sounds like she's not very emotionally aware and like the other anon in this thread said, very immature. I wouldn't attribute it to something super calculated but she was definitely trying to gauge your reaction and took out her upset feelings about your response on you instead of dealing with it.
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So when you guys say she's emotionally immature, I don't exactly know what that means, how I should handle it or how well that bodes for our relationship?
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bumpin for advice
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This isn't rocket science, anon
She wants a baby
She wanted you to say you'd want a baby with her
Christ on a cracker
It doesn't matter if your logical discussion came to the conclusion that having a baby isn't what either of you want for now in the life-planning sense, women have biological clocks.
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>>17898280
>gf of 5 months
>idiotic way of asking your opinion on having a kid
run the fuck away OP
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>>17899337
we've literally talked about this topic and we came to the conclusion that she doesn't want one until she's done with school and that I don't want one right now either.
>>17899358
Not gonna break up with her over something this dumb
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>>17899416
>we've literally talked about this topic and we came to the conclusion that she doesn't want one until she's done with school and that I don't want one right now either.
It doesn't matter if your logical discussion came to the conclusion that having a baby isn't what either of you want for now in the life-planning sense, women have biological clocks.
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>>17898280
>we were in the car and she asked if I'd rather have a baby or an STD
The correct answer is crashing the car into a brick wall.
I probably would've said "Why, which are you giving me?"
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>>17898420
It means that she is unable to express her emotions properly. This bodes pretty badly for your relationship, in fact that's a red flag.
>>17899416
>we've literally talked about this topic and we came to the conclusion that she doesn't want one until she's done with school and that I don't want one right now either.
Actions over words. Her actions say the opposite of what she said.
>Not gonna break up with her over something this dumb
It's not dumb. As I said this is a red flag. I would consider breaking up if I had a conversation with her and she shows no signs of changing.
5 months is not enough time for baby talk and for this amount of drama.
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>>17899433
that's actually a really good response but i'm not quick enough to think of things like that
>>17899439
everything else about her has been better than anybody I've ever dated though, so you can understand why I'm a bit hesitant to immediately do that because of 1 red flag. And it's not like during this 5 months we see each other 1-2 times/week. We've almost seen each other every day, if that matters.
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>>17899524
Just talk to her.
Ask her why she's been so distant and if it has to do with the question
communication.
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>>17898280
>Should I even bring it up?
Yes
She was testing you OP. Girls just fucking do that and you definitely failed. You failed because you gave her a straight serious answer and it wasn't even the answer she wanted to hear. Correct action here would be to drop down a sorry about last night,then ask what brought up the question and LISTEN to her. You let her do the talking and you do the questioning to let her keep talking.
Contrary to what all the other people are saying,you need to learn a lesson from this and not go full "bitch and whore" mode. It's simply just a girl thing and its up to you to be in a mentally good place so either she knocks it down or asks for you to.
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>>17899586
Nah man this comment >>17898280
>Yea, you're not lucky enough to have a baby with me anyways
was really rude. He should definitely get an apology for that.
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>>17899416
Its not about breaking up with her over this instance, its about what it means.
Shes done this before, gave you roundabout questions and then threw a passive aggressive tantrum when you didnt give her what she wants. This is how she deals with her problems. Do you want to be like this forever? What if its about something important?
I say, call her out tomorrow, especially if she keeps up the cold shoulder technique.
>I know you were testing me about kids yesterday. I know you're upset about me not wanting to have a kid. It hurts me that youre dealing with this using passive aggression by refusing to kiss and hug me.
Frankly, its too soon for the two of you to be making decisions about kids
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>>17898280
You are a lot nicer than I am. I would have told her to stop beating around the bush and tell me what she really had on her mind. I have no time for games.
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>>17899714
Yup, being direct with her is the best way to talk about it. Be warned OP, she'll cry or use other tricks to gain your sympathy, don't fall for it,don't let her run way or leave it for later. You have to settle the way you both discus things, you shoud be honest with eachother. It's better to do this early in the relationship, let her know her bullshit tests won't work with you. If she still does it dump her, it's not worth your time.
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Figured I'd update you all on what happened, and thank you for your advice.
I went to see her and she was all over me with kisses and hugs, and asked me if anything was wrong. I asked her what made her say what she said last night and she basically said that the way I answered her question seemed mean and like I was saying "yea we can fuck but no baby ever." So I told her that I'm sorry if it came across that way and that's not what I intended, but what she said was extremely arrogant and I asked if she meant it. She said no, and apologized and said she was just mad and it was after a stressful work day and she's on her period. Everything seems back to normal.
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>>17900342
>she was just mad and it was after a stressful work day and she's on her period
I'd just remind her that she's free to communicate her emotions to you respectfully, and if she's had a bad day you can be there to comfort her.
Other than that, I'm glad that this ended in a good note. We all have our bad days and it seems that she realized she was mean to you.
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>>17898280
Your girlfriend of 5 months wants at least another 9 to be added on top of it. Keep an eye on your condoms, nigga, she sounds like an emotional timebomb to me.
Thread posts: 28
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Thread images: 11