Apologies

>>17897321
It'd help to know what you said to her

>>17897409
This lad McNad

>>17897409
Basically.

>me- you're selfish, self centered. You say one thing and act another. Don't say you love me and then wait for my family to be in the hospital to ask how I'm doing.

>her - my god, I can't believe you. That's so mean. I'm very hurt. Etc etc.
Really, I shouldn't have said it how I did, attacking her. But I honestly do feel like I'm taken for granted at times. Hard to draw that line between me being selfish, and her not putting in effort, ya know?

>>17897321
No info. You could have been being a whiny little average 4chan bitch, or you could have had a real point. If you want to be the man in the relationship and your own code of conduct is stronger than anything then you should be the one telling her what you need to tell her, not asking for advice.

>>17897444
You're painting a picture in your favor. It's even more blatant based on the fact that you're obviously leaving a huge portion of this out. Don't come asking for advice if what you're actually asking is AREN'T I THE RIGHT ONE??!?!

>>17897445
True nuff. Preciate it.

>>17897450
What info do you assume I'm leaving out?

>>17897463
I don't assume anything. You're painting this picture about how you snapped at her calling her selfish and self centered and hypocritical, and painting yourself like a victim because this comes to light when your family is in the hospital. Are we supposed to feel sorry for you? Is there a reason this has gotten to a point where this was your response? There's a huge backstory here. You're on a Chinese cartoon image board, you don't have to tell us anything, but I assume from your posts and this thread that you actually feel guilty and want someone to back you up without telling the whole story.

>>17897474
No, you're absolutely right. I don't want validation for how I feel.

I feel how I feel, that won't change for a post from a Vietnamese Quilt Group Board.

What I AM asking, is if there is a way to apologize, to retain her feelings, while maintaining what I feel is a just position.

What a Korean Food Blog thinks of my actual relationship is irrelevant, I'm seeking advice. Not commentary on my life.

>>17897497
I don't understand why you need to apologise.

>>17897510
Because she is hurt. And I don't want that. But I don't want to absolve what I said to do so. Maybe I don't NEED to apologize, and I'm just being a bitch. But I do want her in my life and invested in me/us.

You can be right, or you can have a relationship. It's all about give and take. I would suggest sucking it up and apologising for now, and if you really do think she's selfish then talk to her when you're both not mad and have a heart to heart. Or keep being right and talking to her like a piece of shit and end up watching her leave for someone else who can communicate.

>>17897534
Actual fucking advice. Thank you anon. For whatever reason, this rings home.

Preciateyou, very much.

>>17897525
But nothing you said is wrong? I don't get it. Why take back something you meant?
Why do you think you shouldn't speak freely?

>>17897543
No problem :-) best relationship advice I was ever given.

>>17897546
You obviously have never had a long term relationship lol you'll understand one day

>>17897575
But you're supposed to communicate right?
How does lying to eachother about what you mean communicate anything?

Don't tell me I'll understand one day, that's not a reasonable explanation.

>>17897589
Op here, not your responder.

Because how your significant other feels, above you and your morality, becomes more important the second you realise you actually, honestly love someone.

Don't let Chan jade you anon, there is a world out there..

>>17897589
No one is going to stop you from being right. For something that doesn't really matter who cares about saying sorry and getting over it in a day.

He can stick to his guns and then have it end their relationship if it means that much to him, but it sounds like it was just a dumb argument that got out of hand. It meant a lot to her apparently, and a lot times a quick apology can keep you from fucking up a relationship.
When you grow up you'll understand.

>>17897608
This is what I tell mine when I end up blowing up at her.

"This isn't how I wanted to talk to you about this. I apologize for the way I presented the problem, but nonetheless it is a problem that we need to discuss further."

That way you don't apologize for your words but you do apologize for your mannerisms.

>>17897666
Makes more sense.

I really have the powerful idea that if a relationship can be ruined in less than ten truthful words then it shouldn't be allowed to continue. Better to be single and looking for someone who can handle the truth.

Nice digits.

>>17897686
Trips of truth bro. Good luck, just remember to be truthful about what bothers you but let her know you want to work with her. It shouldn't be the end of the relationship.