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So I'm part of this group of nerds that gathers around regularly to watch movies, talk about books etc. Recently a girl in her early twenties (I'm in mid 30s) started attending the group and boy is she hot/cute. I'd really like to make a move on her, but don't want to come across as old creep/perv. Any chance of doing that? What do you girls think, what's too old to be hitting on you when you're that age?

In reply to anon from a previous thread.

>>17896045

Thank you. I think I will hang on for now and I will do that. I was considering talking to a therapist because there must be some unresolved issues I need to deal with.

How can I talk to her about it though? I can't tell her I find other women more attractive than her, or the fact that the small amount of body fat she has bothers me (I was always attracted to naturally skinny girls and I'm very lean myself). She's told me she's insecure about her looks and I don't want to cause her any esteem issues or give her an eating disorder. I have always been insecure about my own looks so perhaps I'm pushing my own warped standards upon her.

>>17896222
How early 20's? If she's around 21 and you've got over 10 years on her it could come off as weird. You're in the get married or already married bracket and she's in the college kid group.

It depends on her, really. Some are okay with dating guys much older than them.

(30+) Even though I generally like kids as the years pass the idea of never having kids myself sounds more and more like my kind of thing. This doesn't seem to be a sentiment that lots of girls I meet share though, and has actually been the major reason why some of my relationships have ended (she decided she wants to have kids after all while I'm not 100% sure). Is this a huge turnoff for women? I can understand not wanting to date if you know you want to be a mom some day, but it seems my profile gets totally ignored in online dating apps/sites by everyone if I say I'll probably never want kids.

Why do girls look annoyed when they see me walk pass?

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I'm meeting up with a crush/friend I'm very close with later this week. A while back I got her a souvenir from some place I went, but haven't given it yet since I haven't seen her since some time before then. She doesn't know about the gift, just that I went there.

Should I wrap it with leftover paper I've got lying around? I wanted to give it as a late Christmas present, but it's nothing special and probably just an off-handed "here, I got you something"-gift. We usually give each other random crap, so wrapping it all formally feels excessive.

>>17896222
I'm not at your age but I was in a similar situation recently (26 hitting on 18 yo), you have experience and maturity, and perhaps more sophisticated than their peers. Just approach as a friend first, see how far you can get, the young guys are very concerned with being seen as alpha, assertive and aggressive, so you could try the other way, slow, patient and methodical, whatever you plan to do, always let her have the option to turn you down gently. I suppose as long as you don't misread her reaction she won't see you as a creep. Some girls will be flattered even, when a guy ten years older shows their interest.

Posting from other thread

Females.

Why would a girl agree to hang out, then dissapear after I suggest a day?


THEN try to get your attention when you dont contact her?

My brain is hurting with this girl, pls help.

LADIES

I am 21 years old, going to bar/s clubs for the first time.

I like Reading history astronomy and stuff like that.

Advice?

Girls.

Any reason that you would use two exclamation points in a text, So instead of "Thank You!" it's "Thank You!!"

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Asked this girl out for a coffee date 2 month ago but she declined (too busy). Thought that's that and moved on.

Recently, I held a party and invited one of her friend over and she randomly showed up as well. Nothing really happened, just couple of small talks.

Does this mean anything?

If I give a girl a compliment and they don't respond with a thank you is it autistic to take it back? They're a platonic friend and it's over text.

>>17896759
Think nothing of it. Be casual.

>>17896759
yes thats very autistic holy shit

>>17896768
>>17896773
I ask because we're kind of on bad terms right now. I thought we were on good terms and tried to test if we still were. I haven't done it yet so I won't then.

>>17896574
So, could there be any deeper meaning beyond just genuinely being appreciative of what I said?

Hey, so there's this girl with whom I'm kinda close and when we see eachother, I'm comfortable but when it comes to texting, I somehow become beta as fuck and have dificulty holding the conversation and keeping it alive. Any suggestions?

>>17896706
No. The friend probably off hand told her about it, she said she knew you a little and both thought it okay for her to come along. Think nothing of it.

Hey /adv/ I have an ex GF, and I truly feel sorry for her.

Her life was shit from the beginning, molested, neglected, this that and the other, to top it all off she was adopted into that shit family.

But, either way she ended up meeting me, which was a great step for her in her life. As, I was a good example.

I helped her finish school, she didn't need much, I was more of a support for her in her final years there.

I supported her as she went through a job search, and ultimately landed a really nice job, it was better than the job I currently have even, I think she still works there.

And, I even helped her with getting her first car.

But, after all of this, and our great relationship for about 3 years.. She cheated on me.. I left her, and she was crying, and I could tell she knew she messed up, she was scared to tell me, that's why I had to found out for myself, and she was probably the most remorseful about that, then she's ever been about anything in her life, because she knows she just fucked up the one good thing she had going for her..

And, it hurts me to know she did that, because all I wanted was the best for her, and to see he be everything she wanted to be.. And, even still I think I want to be there for her, but everytime we've tried to talk through it, I can't let go, and I'm so resentful about it all.

Is there some way we can just let that mistake go, and start fresh? I don't even want to kiss her, or look at her anymore, but I still want to help her, and make sure she's okay..

>>17896838
There really isn't a way. People don't just accidentally sleep together dude, she knew what she was doing and then regretted it and tried to hide it. If she flat out told you immediately then maybe it could be salvaged but her hiding it from you ruined that.

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Anybody wanna give me some input on this? What exactly does it mean and how do I respond to her? Theres another long text from her if anybody wants to see that too

>>17896861
It really couldn't be more obvious. She wants to be certain you give a shit about her and aren't just after a quick fuck.

I do care about her, I really do. I fucking love this girl so much. We have messed around before in the past but never had sex with her. I would love to have sex with her and not have to worry about relationship or anything like that, but I wouldn't just drop her after banging her, you know.

>>17896870
>>17896883
^ forgot to hit reply

Girls.

Theres a girl crushing on me for a while now. We text back and forth. And she told me she likes me. The issue is I'm not sure I like her. How do I let her down easy? She's been polite and really nice towards me, and I really don't want to hurt her feelings.

>>17896861
well, did you fuck her?

>>17896896
No. The farthest I've gone with her is fingering her and sucking on her titties, but last time we fooled around was like in September. She was naked in my bed and didn't let me go all the way

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I'm going to grad school in a different state for a two years. My boyfriend won't be done with college until next winter.
Right now, I'm at home with my family and will be heading back to see him for a couple days before heading out.

He has been distant on the phone for the few days and I can hear typing on his computer (mechincal keyboard). On Christmas Day (around 4pm) our conversation went dry and he said he will call me before I went to sleep (approx. 11:30). I laid in bed and evenutally woke up in the morning with no missed calls.

I expected a message or a call explaining why he didn't call me and maybe an apology. He didn't call at all yesterday. I was trying to decide if I should call him or wait for him to call. I checked my google hangout and he sent a message:

''Good afternoon, my love! I wan't to apologize for my behavior over the past couple of days. I've just felt really down on everything since you're going to be leaving for Texas soon and I felt like we just got into a good rhythm of living together and I'm going to miss you. School didn't go well. And I've just felt like I couldn't catch a break you know?

But I want to let you know that I love you so much. And I miss you terribly. My sleep schedule has been so fucked up since you've been gone. It's hard to wake up without you there laying next to me.

Is there any chance we could Skype sometime tomorrow? Or a phone call?

I hope you're having a good time with your family!''

My plan: asking him why he couldn't get back to me yesterday and telling him to call me now.

I understand he is another person with feelings and concerns. I am too. My main concern (excluding something going horribly wrong with graduate school) is us staying together until he comes and works nearby, for his summer vacation. Him just dropping out for a day and not sending me this message earlier doesn't make me feel confident that he has the motivation to continue a on and off LDR until this time next year.

>>17896904

if you love her, why don't you want a relationship with her?

she thinks you're going to have sex with her and then abandon her. she might want to be your (serious) girlfriend.

>>17896258

It's not a turn off so much as it is that you've presented a possible deal-breaker up front. Of course ladies who want kids or think they /may/ want kids wouldn't want to date a guy that doesn't want them. Your profile is being effective, that's all.

>>17896883
>>17896861
she's trying to make sure she has a safe choice.

>>17896258
>>17896913

Forgot to add: ladies around your age have hit the point where many of them are freaking out about their biological clock and are desperately seeking to find any guy who barely fits the bill so they can have kids.

I asked a female friend, who I like, to come to my house, and she said that she would confirm it this morning. She did not say a word.
Now, she has came to my house once, and we had fun. Other times when she couldn't go, she would notify me. But not this time. She has been online almost all day.
Should I ask her what happened, or just ignore her?

>>17896574

It's just a quirk, nothing more.

>>17896476

Whatever she's doing is weird and my advice is to just not play the game. Reasons as to why she would do this or how it makes sense to her is all speculation and not worth it.

>>17896912
I've heard express multiple times that she doesn't want a relationship with anyone and just wants to be alone, she does have some issues though. I still don't really know how to respond to that text. She told me to think about it and get back to her.

>>17896861
It means for the love of Christ GTFO. This (wanting to be sure a guy doesn't want to fuck her, or not only) is the female equivalent of being an autistic sperg. You don't want this shit in your life, believe me.

>>17896759

It's just weird to take it back out of the blue. Let this one go.

>>17896814

Pretend that you're confident and try to stop thinking about how awkward you feel you're being. Internal begets external and all that.

Do girls with fear of intimacy use sex for validation a lot?

>>17896838

She made a mistake. It looks like she isn't the best of people, either generally or because of what happened to her - either way it's not an excuse, and at least it looks like she's not trying to excuse herself. Some people get over things like this together, it's your decision over whether you want to try.

If you try, it'll be slow, painful, but it could end in a good way. Your choice.

>>17896945
Probably, but she usually doesn't use multiple explanation points.

So that little oddity is throwing me off

i love my boyfriend. he says he's my boyfriend, at least.....!!
I'm recently new to all this

If a friend of mine who I'm interested in, does not answer my invitation to hang out, should I ask her what happened, or ignore her?

>>17896861

Probably should gtfo. If you've never given her reason to believe you want to jizz and jet, she has trust issues and you want no part of that.

>>17896988
Do you think I have a chance at fucking her? Or am i just friendzoned?

>>17896888

Tell her that you really enjoy her company but you don't really feel a romantic connection. Stress that you like your time together.

>>17896861
could be a "don't hurt me situation" since you've slept together (sort-of)

>>17896984
...and your question is?

>>17896995
Stay away from unstable girls like this, she clearly has no idea what the fuck she wants herself.

>>17896861
For real, this is like a guy demanding that a girl promise in advance to let him fuck her. It's just as uncomfortable and revealing of serious issues -- essentially a refusal to participate at all unless the outcome is guaranteed upfront.
So these:
>>17896958
>>17896988

>>17896905

No. Silently forgive him and do your best to smooth over this. Neglecting to call you could be attributed to him being anxious over having nothing to say, his fucked up sleep schedule, etc.

He's come out and admitted how he feels about this and it just looks like he's having a hard time. A fight over something this little isn't worth it, trust me.

>>17896935

May not have anything to do with you, maybe family/home issues, or it does have something to do with you and it's not your fault (from what I've seen so far). Might want to look for someone else to hang with.

>>17897005
Didn't really answer my question. I don't care about that even though it'll be a shitty outcome.

>>17896978

Validation? I'm not sure. I can see how someone with intimacy issues would have a lot of sex, as long as it's just "normal" or even rough. Tender sex is not for someone who has intimacy issues.

>>17896983

Eh. Was it just the once? Could be unintended or "I'm especially happy right now!!"

>>17897028

Not him.

Why don't you care, man? Never stick your dick in crazy. Even this subtle trust-issue crazy.

I mean, if you care about her, fine, I see it. But the legitimate best thing you can do for both of you is to not go further. It's never just one thing. Trust issues aren't like a checkpoint where if you meet a standard ONCE, you're trusted forever. It becomes you hanging out with other girls or if you REALLY care for her, and if you REALLY cared for her you'd do this or that. It's not just one thing.

>>17897022
So I should just ignore her, instead of asking why she stayed quiet, right?

>>17897031
True. Probably just an unintended one off. Especially since she was thanking me for wishing her a happy birthday.

Maybe She's done it sporadically in other conversations as well

>>17897045

Maybe talk to her on occasion but make the decision that you won't chase after her. Things aren't necessarily doomed but this is something of a red flag.

>>17897043
I've got nothing really to lose, maybe just some mental stress. I'm 20 and don't have much experiences so fuck it why not go for it. I'm pretty level headed I'll be able to handle it. Just really attracted to her and can't help it, she is perfect. We get along, I enjoy her company, she's sexy, I'm comfortable around. I just want her and that's it.

>>17897048

Maybe. This one's harmless.

>>17897052

All right. When things go tits-up, remember us.

>>17896574
Overthinking o'clock, no offense
It's an exclamation point, nothing more

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>girls like penises

Why are girls so gay?

>>17897059
I will anon, I feel like i get mixed answers. Some people say I don't have a chance with her and others are saying she is in love with me. I don't know what to make of it.

>>17897002
how to navigate the maze of uncertainty?

>>17897052
>I only want agreement, not advice
Okay, but don't fucking come back here crying to us when shit goes to hell and you want help dealing with it.

>>17897051
Yeah, it's kinda difficult, since I really want to know why she didn't say a thing.
I mean, it's still 18:30 here but...

>>17897054
Most likely. But, I guess if something is there it would be positive

>>17897062
Yea, I know.... It's just a strange situation in general, so I tend to look at minor shit to try and get a better picture here

Do white girls in the US only like white guys? Generally speaking.

Thanks

>>17897127
Generally speaking, yes. Depending on the poll there's an 80%-95% preference for same race among white girls.

>>17897063
I like penises too, no homo.

>>17897127

White girls anyway don't like any guy.
Some of them tolerate guys.
But they don't like them.
White women hateful as fuck.

>>17897127
stats from a dating website indicated so

i think asian girls and mexican girls were the only real race mixers and went after white guys too

>>17897175
>i think asian girls and mexican girls were the only real race mixers and went after white guys too
Correct, also contrary to what some might like to believe white guys were the most popular race group among women in general on OKCupid at least (their stats used to be GOAT).

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>>17897127
For the most part, yeah. A cursory glance at online dating pretty much shows that white women race mix the least, but are also the most pursued. I always found it kind of creepy to be honest, white men get shit for fetishizing asians and for good reason, but brown people think getting a white woman is some form of status symbol and get a pass.

>>17897127
yes, for all of /pol/s muh racemixing, white women are actually the least likely to, with asian women most likely. white men are also most likely males to mix, cant remember the least likely guys

>>17897211
>but brown people think getting a white woman is some form of status symbol and get a pass.
Same goes for men actually, except for black women it seems other ethnicities want a white boyfriend in much the same way

(Black women want a black boyfriend only normally, (I guess because of being too sunk into idpol?) but they also consider most black men deadbeats so they're really stuck on account of their own standards)

>>17897227
>they also consider most black men deadbeats so they're really stuck on account of their own standards
From what I've seen I can't really fault them for that. I remember one black gal who got shit for dating a white guy from a bunch of black men, but the kicker is those black men almost never dated within their race either. Honestly reminded me of people from pol who'd wax on about an Asian waifu, but would rant about women doing the same.

>>17897216
>white men are also most likely males to mix
Not really sure where you're getting that
http://www.pewresearch.org/fact-tank/2015/06/12/interracial-marriage-who-is-marrying-out/

This pretty much states that black men are the most likely to marry out of their race, discounting Natives considering their population is pretty much negligible.

>>17897211
for minority women, getting a white guy is also a status thing. it's high on the bragging rights table for them.

>>17897277
Not really. It's has a bad rep that everyone just doesn't talk about because it's rude (ex:"I bet you don't really love him", "You are a user", "Is that how much you are cost?"). It's only when the couple truly like each other that it becomes a bragging right because a good relationship is enviable.

t. 3rd worlder in SEA
We have so many of our women marry to foreigners, it's not even funny anymore. And on the outside, they say "Oooh! That's nice! How nice for you!", but on the inside, they say completely different things. It's like when marrying someone completely older than you. Like let's say you are 25 and the love of your life is 40-50. They will question you if you really love that person.

>>17897258

>black men deadbeat issue

Sort of a vicious cycle. These guys get raised by single moms who constantly talk about how their dad was a deadbeat, good for nothing, probably talk about their sons the same way, and to top it off all the women around then usually believe the same thing. Black men don't get appreciated by black women for shit. So a black guy turns into a deadbeat because fuck it, he's already being punished for it (or they get stunted because of all that rhetoric), settles down eventually, then leaves when his sugar baby momma's shit gets to be too fucking much.

Black women are another story, but are generally known for thinking they're hot shit and beat on the egos of their boyfriends.

>>17897227
This depends a lot on area, social class and community. Middle class and above blacks will marry within their race 99% of the time.

>>17897379
>These guys get raised by single moms who constantly talk about how their dad was a deadbeat, good for nothing, probably talk about their sons the same way, and to top it off all the women around then usually believe the same thing
Plus I mean, I took a glance at that "why black kids get whoopins" thing that was trending on twitter. Like a good half of it probably qualified for child abuse. The entire situation is fucked.

>>17897373
I'm not talking about people back in the 3rd world, but ones who immigrated to the west or are trying too. All the asian women I've known who landed here are extremely proud if they have a white boyfriend or husband, and tell me it's a status symbol. It's mostly been Filipino women and a Mexican.

They also kept trying to set me up with relatives back home because they're crazy. Most end up divorcing the guys if they marry and marrying some creep 20 years older. I'm sure some people back home don't like it, but it seems to be a thing over here.

>>17897379
>Black women are another story, but are generally known for thinking they're hot shit and beat on the egos of their boyfriends.
What? Are they all retarded? Why would they think they can be bitches and get good boyfriends?

>>17896300
Bump

Girls: What kind of porn do you watch, if any at all? I've heard women like watching guys on their own and I'm curious if it's true. And curious why anyone would want to see that at all.

>>17897183
Okc is garbage now, so much spam

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Essentially I went on three dates with this chick, didnt make a move on the second because she didnt physically flirt although she stared at me for a while when leaving my car (from like 2 feet which is pretty far in a car,while she was getting out of my car), and third time she basically grabbed her purse hugged me and left.

I messaged her asking her if shes interested at all because I dont want to waste my time, nor hers.

She said that at first she considered going out with me but she was unsure, and that she hasnt found that right guy. (also before trying to seriously take her out I went for the 'come over and hook up' stuff and she didnt bait)

Then she stated that she doesnt think wed be compatible, because were different, i go to shows and listen to music, play guitar, draw, do /gd. and shes into medical stuff and movie and thats like it...

Her point was that she was boring and I was too cool for her. And that she doesnt think wed click, also claimed she had a crush on me in highschool but her "mentality has changed."


Obviously this is all BS, what is she really trying to say, so I know for the next one, ive already nexted her, dont plan on messaging her whatsoever.

>>17897722
Hence "used to be" I assume

>>17897744
what is your question?

>>17897764
>what is she really trying to say, so I know for the next one

I feel like shes bullshitting,I apologize.

>>17897611

Fuck, I don't know. It's entitlement at its core, really. "I want X but I'm not willing to do Y to deserve X".

>>17897744
She's feeling inadequate, doesnt help you haven't made a move yet. Ask to hang out, make a move and tell her you really like her and would like this to be a thing.

>>17897768

Either she's bullshitting or her self esteem isn't high enough for her to realise that you don't have to be into all the same things to be compatible.

>>17897774
That seems like im chasing her,a bit clingy, especially after I laid down the "see you around" at the end of our conversation to finalize.

I honestly think she'll message me a couple weeks from now to hang out unless shes getting dicked by some dude, and if im not on to another chick ill probably make a big move like that.

>>17897710

Personally my porn appetites aren't that weird other than watching gay porn on occasion. I'm really into realistic/real attraction and enjoyment. Nothing turns me on more than the sound of someone actually enjoying themselves.

As for videos of guys masturbating... I don't know. For some reason I get turned on by watching a muscled hunk jerking off, even though my standards aren't NEARLY that high.

>>17897791
>other than watching gay porn on occasion
gay being two women or two guys?

>>17897806

Two guys. Lesbian porn turns me off SO much. So often there are women with acrylic nails, the moans are so fake, and on a random occasion they'll shove a stiletto heel up a girl's hooch.

>>17897791
>For some reason I get turned on by watching a muscled hunk jerking off, even though my standards aren't NEARLY that high.
Do you ever watch any when it's just a regular guy?
I'm also wondering what it is about the muscle thing too. Are we talking full body builder or just fairly fit?

>>17897839

Somewhere between regular fit and full bodybuilder. Veins creep me out, but I guess there's some sort of shock factor or rarity involved.

I don't watch wanking porn often enough to say for certain, but I think it's something about the strength of a guy like that. In general it's not super arousing to watch someone masturbate, that's the only exception I guess.

>>17897851
So other than the guy and solo aspects, you just watch regular stuff of a guy and girl?

>>17897791
Me too, that's why amateur porn is where is at.

>>17897710
I have some pretty degenerate taste I porn so take this with a grain of salt, but I'm not interested in waatching solo guys. In general most people can't pinpoint a specific reason as to why certain things arouse them so it's almost pointless to ask.

>>17897949
>I have some pretty degenerate taste I porn so take this with a grain of salt
would you mind sharing what exactly?

>>17896838
Sometimes bad things happen to bad people.

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(I posted this in a previous board but it died)

Alright. I’ve had enough.

To summarize some things, I’ve been thinking about this particular girl on a daily basis with constant romantic thoughts and scenarios. I want to date her, I have this animal instinct to get to know her. But here’s the problem: I can’t predict her. On some occasions it seems like she wants to talk to me but I have theories. On the other hand she’s shown like she finds me as an annoyance, which to me sounds accurate, although it conflicts with the possibility that she can see me more than just a friend. Here is the scoop:

>Good stuff:
>She’s shy and an introvert who doesn’t open up completely unless she knows you well.
>Previously, we sent each other music she and I enjoyed, and although I was the person mainly sending stuff she still sent me some good songs
>Once she gave me the other end of her earpiece and we listened to Kings of Leon and shit. She wasn’t sitting next to me but rather the seat in front
>She said she wanted to hang out after school because we haven’t seen each other in a while
>We talked about our families and actually had good conversations
>Friday the 16th I asked her to a movie and she responded with “I don’t know” and “maybe”. The key here is that she didn’t say “No”. I told her to text me later if she wanted to or not.

>Feels Bad Man
>She rarely texts me if ever
>When I see in the halls during school and I try to say hi, she either doesn’t respond or mouths the word Hi and rolls her eyes
>I have a feeling that my friend (Let’s call him ‘Chad’) told her how I feel (That I feel ignored) and that she’s making an almost hated effort to seem kind me.

What now, Anons? What can you make of it?

Is it wrong to ask my boyfriend of 5 months if I can go to my ex boyfriend of 5months/bff of 5 years birthday dinner thing. It takes place at a restaurant.
I'm sure he'd be concerned but I feel this is important and we're not gonna be alone since many of my friends will be there.

>>17897992
Since you're not taking your current bf, it's not cool.

>>17897999
He hates him because we dated. .shit :(

>>17898004
In that case, really not cool. There's a good chance you'll get in a massive argument with your current bf over this with a fair chance of a break up. Weigh up your priorities, take him along or don't go are the only choices.

>>17896222
>Any chance of doing that? What do you girls think, what's too old to be hitting on you when you're that age?

Up to 5 years difference - it is fair game
Between 5 and 10 - read below
More than 10 - I wouldn't try


I work in such an environment (bunch of fucking 20s while I am my middle 30s but single) and for some girls yes, it will come as creepy and annoying.
For others it might come out as intimidating.

Your best bet is what this anon said:
>>17896305
> slow, patient and methodical, whatever you plan to do, always let her have the option to turn you down gently.

Be prepared for it, though, there is nothing more pathetic than a guy in his 30s bitching about a 20s.

>>17897971
what you are experiencing is called wishful thinking

Move on, she wants nothing with you.

Girls

What does this type of emoji/smiley mean? :/

when is a skiny guy too skinny for most girls?

Im pretty thin 5'11 65kg but have only now started to feel insecure about it (at 21)

funny because im alright with females when i get the balls to try

Why are my abusive parents who have made my childhood/adolescence absolute hell being nice to me now that I'm graduating college in March? What are they playing at?

>>17898062
I guess I should add context to this.

I am asking as a girl has replied "I am on duty mondays :/" when I asked to meet up with her then.

And I typically don't see that emoji used much. So I wanted to know what the common usage of it is.

>>17898099
>So I wanted to know what the common usage of it is.

What you actually wanted to know is: "does she mean indifference or that she is a little bit upset about being busy?"

An emote can't tell.

Ask her out again on another day and you will get your answer.

Don't put so much energy and thought into avoiding a "no", better to use that to DEAL WITH IT, when it happens.

>>17898099
Common usage? Are you unable to tell what it means by pure context. Holy shit ur fucking retarded. She dislikess the activity. Your gf is either braindead or ugly to be around you.

>>17898113
Well, kinda hard when it's rarely used.

It could either be a disappointed type, a Leave me the fuck alone type or something else.

>>17898112
>"does she mean indifference or that she is a little bit upset about being busy?"

I guess that's true. I did try to see if she's got an idea of when she's free, but no reply to that. But replied a few days later when I wished her a happy birthday.

>>17898097
Old people hypocrisy, in their warped minds the hell you went payed off with the graduation
Make sure to remind them that they will die alone, scares the shit outta them.

How do I deal with insecurity in my partner?

>>17898138
You dump them

>>17898139
That's not dealing with it, that's giving up.

>>17898138
Which kind we are talking here?

>>17898140
It will literally never get better

Any gender: If I have severe acne is it pointless for me to try Tinder?

>>17898143
He told me "I'm jealous because I don't want you to find someone better than me"

This was after I started talking to some people online, but it was in such a way where he could see everything I was saying and doing for himself so there was no secrecy. He insisted multiple times he was okay with it, I found out today he isn't and it was bothering him all along.

>>17898125
>but no reply to that. But replied a few days later when I wished her a happy birthday.

Then it was indifference

Move on unless you have very strong evidence otherwise.

>>17898155
Try getting him to open up on why he feels like that, most likely there's a old wound there, which explains the jealousy

>>17898163
She's always kinda presented herself as being quite shy. But we would still talk for hours. And this last time she did say "We could always give it a shot" about meeting up over break. But then kinda backed out at the Last moment.

So maybe something is still worth pursuing there?

>>17898169
I tried this but getting him to open up is harder than pulling teeth with your bare hands. He is so guarded. It took weeks and me essentially yelling at him today (and I almost never get angry) to even get him to admit this was bothering him. Ugh...yeah I guess I'll try again.

>>17898179
Hold on there lass,no need to bang your head against a wall, try noticing on how and when he lowers his guard, be subtle around the subject and see if any of his friends know anything.

From what you said, it probably fucked him real hard,hence the stonewalling.

>>17898097
strict parenting =/= abusive parents

>>17898182
It's just that things are so strained between us lately. We've been getting into fights over seemingly nothing. Now that I found this out..it explains so much. I'm just not keen on having yet another hard discussion.

>>17898191
Try mending the relationship if you can first, if not i recommend talking to his friends if he has any.

>>17898129
I feel like I don't know whether they're changing because they're getting old and it's in their self interest to be nice like you said or whether they realised the error of their ways and are trying to be non abusive. How can I tell the difference?

>>17897854

For the most part. Little BDSM here and there.

>>17898209
Either they will come off their own accord to properly apologize for the abuses, or you can give it to them straight.

If they do, its genuine.

>>17898201
I don't think his friends are gonna be an option, I'll have to do this myself. Thanks for the encouragement though anon

>>17898220
Its all good, dealing with people that were beaten down by their past loves is back breaking shit, can't do it alone.

>>17898224
Another thing. I told him I would stop talking to that group and I plan to. It didn't even mean that much to me, I would have dropped it weeks ago if I knew it was causing issues. But that makes me think, am I maybe being too accommodating? Whenever he has issues like this I try to solve them by changing my behavior, even if it isn't wrong, just so he will be happy. But I'm starting to think this is the wrong thing to do.

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What the fuck?

>Small group of friends
>4 of us
>One of them comes to me one day
>Tells me they're depressed
>And wants to commit suicide
>She says she wants everyone to know
>And to tell our other friends in the group
>Because she wants them to help
>But doesn't want to tell them herself
>So I take the other 2 friends and talk
>Explain what she told me
>We call the suicidal friend to come over
>She comes over and we all sit down
>"Anon told us about your depression"
>She gives everyone a weird look before turning to me
>"I never said any of that, he's lying!"
>They're all looking at me like I'm nuts
>"Why would you lie about something like that?!"
>MFW
>Now they're all mad

Why the fuck would she do this?
Who the fuck would do this?!
How the fuck do I fix this?
They won't believe a single word I say now.

>>17898257
Pull her aside privately and talk to her about it while recording the conversation.

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why do women only care when you ignore them?

Girls:

Which is the lesser evil?
>A guy who is still a virgin
>A guy who lost his virginity to a prostitute

>>17898414
Virgin

Some girl who I used to talk to a few years ago who would send me nudes constantly sent me a video today of her in a bra showing off her boobs with a kiss face emoji captioned (just completely out of the blue, I've had no contact with her for years).

I didn't reply or anything as I have a gf. I feel like I should mention this to my gf but I know it will upset her and she'll think I'm cheating on her (despite me just ignoring and not even talking to this girl). I feel I should tell her but I don't want to as I know it will upset her and cause drama.

>>17898436
what if he lost let the prostitutes blow him?

I still have hope of getting back with this girl but she isn't ready, so I'm moving on.

Would it seem childish or like I'm being petty if I post on social media hints that i was "out" but not what I was doing? I went on a date with a new girl and want to post things regarding the new girl to move things along with her (like posting pictures of what we did together but not of us together)


example: me using my roommates foot massager from Christmas and saying "using my friends present after today's long adventure"


me and the past girl have mutual friends so i don't want to seem like the type of guy that is immature and still thinks getting a girl jealous is a way of getting her back. because I'm not

>>17898437
Hiding it is much, much worse. If your girlfriend is the kind to get emotional when you're transparent about this kind of thing, then you might want to reevaluate the relationship regardless.

>>17898487
yeah but the thing is I'm not talking to this girl, the only time I ever did was before I had even met my current GF. She wont know that it was sent to me, I never responded to the girl who sent it I just ignored

>>17898499
I'm sure you can hide YOUR tracks just fine.

The real problem is that the girl in question is unpredictable. First she's sending you pics, next she finds out your girlfriend's numbers and tells her "i sent pics 2 ur bf LOL"

If you don't want to mention the pics, then at least tell your girlfriend "Alright heads up, some creep is sending me uncomfortable messages, it's NOT cheating."

>>17898507
yeah I'll probably do this. I do want to tell her but I know it will make her irrationally worry

girls; answer honestly. are you horny all the time?

>>17898452
>me and the past girl have mutual friends so i don't want to seem like the type of guy that is immature and still thinks getting a girl jealous is a way of getting her back. because I'm not
that's what it sounds like.
don't do that shit, it's cringy as fuck.

Is it wrong to ask my boyfriend to do something cute for me while he is in town?
He has no job and I don't expect much I just been having a difficult time lately and wish he'd do something. Even if he just wrote me a hand made letter I'd be happy. .

>>17898647
You really shouldn't need to ask but yes he should be doing something.

>>17896211
>Ask them out.
Shit fucking advice. Fuck you.

>>17898680
I know right? I usually just send them psychic messages to date me

Girls

What is this? Whenever I make a new female friend and we become close, it makes me feel really warm inside. I don't know how to explain it. Like, if we are hanging out, and she smiles at me, it just makes my heart feel warm. Now, nothing sexual or romantic has ever happened with them. They all have boyfriends which I respect. But for some reason, when they look at me and smile I just feel really warm.

Why is this?

>>17898849

It seems to be something about you, mate. How can a random girl on the internet tell YOU why YOU fell that way?

>>17898862

I don't know... I guess I was hoping someone else knows the feeling?

>>17898689
Usually I just give them "the look", then they come to me.

>>17898875

In any case it would be a guy though, not a girl, right?

And I know the feeling you get. Heck, I get it from a call or a message too. If you are kinda bad at getting fenale attention like me, then it feels really good when you get even a little of it.

>>17898849
I am the same way with my male friends (some more than others) without being jealous or wanting sex. Actually I also feel that way about some of my female friends. I used to feel weird about it but after years of experiencing it without anything "happening" I don't give it a second thought anymore. It's affection.

Though I should add that for me this is hardly a thing I feel every time they smile at me. Just sometimes randomly because you are struck by how pleasant/endearing/whatever they are again, or because you're having a more personal or fun moment than you usually do.

Guys,
For those of you who have visited prostitutes, what's the main appeal there? I understand being sexually frustrated/pent up, but doesn't the whole experience feel...off kinda? Like in the back of your mind you know she's probably had more guys this week than most girls do in their lives, and that it's nothing special and such? Like the emotional side missing completely?
I'm not trying to sound judgy, I just never really saw the appeal. Feels like assisted masturbation at best.

>>17898883

I only feel this toward my female friends. It's like once we get close, I really adore them. especially since they are all attractive. But, it just makes me happy that we are close friends, and it makes me feel really good to see them happy around me.

>>17898849
I guess it's just affection.

>>17898886

Assisted masturbation is a good way to describe it. It's quick sex with no strings attached, that will always be there if you can pay.

Also, don't let 4chan confuse you. Most guys don't care if she slept with a lot of dudes unless she is his actual girlfriend.

And you are right, it's completely devoid of actual emotion, but prostitutes are people too and they know how to talk yo a guy. That companionship is part of the deal.

In the end, though, learning about the industry should turn most guys off. That's why I stopped at least.

>>17898903

Perhaps. I mean, I'm 25 and nobody has ever done anything affectionate toward me or shown me direct affection. So maybe just seeing a smile is good enough?

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>>17898689
I might be a good advice, but for fucking normies, not for a kissless virgin who has always been more or less socially retarded (average 4chan user). What I would advice is to learn what you should actually do after a girl agrees to date you, otherwise, you're just going to alienate girls you like. I've read a book, "Models" by Mark Manson and I really liked it, I've learnt a lot and now I'm pretty confident about what to do to attract women. I don't want to shill for this book, I'm sure there are other ones and other means that will work, but you should get help one way or another.

I'll tell you my story. I've met a girl I have a crush on, following OP's advice, I asked her out. She agreed, but the date didn't go well, looking back at it now, the girl really did gave me a chance but I behaved like a retard. Now, after reading the book I tried to ask her out again, but needless to say, she told me to fuck off. If I only read the book earlier, or had someone to help me, my whole behavior towards the girl would've been different and the date would have definitely went better.

>tl;dr Change the advice from the OP!

>>17898940
no, fuck off retard

>>17898940

So you don't know if the book works yet, because you haven't put it to the test yet.

>>17898966
Yeah, I guess you're right, but based on my life experience I'm pretty sure it woud work, I can confirm many statements this book makes.

I also, haven't really tried to get another girl, because I kept thinking only about that one.

>>17898980

What life experiences? Asking girls out, for example?

>>17898983
Yes, I actually tried getting a girlfriend. I've asked quite a few girls out.

I was in a collage, I've been to many parties, I tried to get girls to fuck.

>>17898996

So, you would say getting experience by trying is good then, right?

>>17899008
Eh, if you more or less know what to do, then yes, there's no other way than to try. But if like me, you're completly clueless about that dating game, you should do some research first. Don't worry, you'll get rejected at least a few times anyway.

>>17899035

But the research only makes sense with experience. Without it, you wouldn't know if your book is good or just BS.

To girls:

If a chick keeps responding to my messages, laughing, also making a few jokes and using my name once in a while, even if she takes forever to reply, means that she is interested, just being polite or bored and passing some time?

>>17899065

This one girl I'm friends with always addresses me by my name. She says my name a lot actually. But she has a boyfriend, so I think it just means she's fond of you?

>>17899082
She also calls me things like (we're not English, so translation makes little sense) sonny, richness, etc
Fondness is good. I'm not looking for romance in particular and having a friend with a sense of humor and whom I can go drinking with is on my wishlist.

>>17899065
>>17899082

When did names become a sign of interest? Maybe it's a cultural difference but damn. We use names where I'm from.

>>17898912
Thanks for the answer.
Yeah I've read a bit about about it and it gets pretty dark (unless you book high-class escorts I guess)
So you'd say it's mostly about ease of use so to say? I've talked to a guy who said it's a rush being able to rent people and do anything you want to them, so that kinda turned me off.

>>17899092

"Hey andrew! How are you? :)"
"I'm fine! I'm about to go to the gym!"
"Oh good! Get a great workout Andrew! But Andrew would you like to text afterward?"
"Sure!"
"Ok Andrew! Talk to you then :) "

How do you survive the:
>Why are we together?

Best answer gets to save a lot of anon's asses

>>17899103

You can't do anything you want. Maybe in some sick slave house, but regular prostitutes have "bouncers" that will kick your ass. That also helps shatter the illusion. They are not free women doing what they want woth thier bodies. The gorillas are there to keep her in line, too.

>>17899125

Think about why you two are together? There's no universal answer here, it depends on each couple.

>>17899113

So? That says nothing.

>>17899135

I'm not saying she had a crush on me. I take it as she's fond of me. Because I've never had another girl ever use my name as much as she does. It's adorable tho

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Why do women buy so much stupid shit for themselves? Why is shopping and recklessly spending money on dumb shit a women's hobby?

After Christmas, a holiday where you get a bunch of shit for free, women flock to the stores for boxing day sales so they can get even more stupid shit for themselves!
What is this mentality? Why do women enjoy shopping and buying stuff for themselves?

For the most part men only buy things that serve a purpose, or are needed, we don't buy 4 pair of boots or new clothes unless we need them. What is this reckless mentality women have?

>>17899161
>For the most part men only buy things that serve a purpose, or are needed,

Men are the main buyers of console video games and other hobby products (miniatures, movies, boardgames, comics, etc). Men are also the ones that fill their homes with sports and sports related paraphernalia, be it autographed stuff, promotional balls/uniforms, banners, etc. Some men even have weapons collections or any other shit you can imagine.

Tell me again how only women spend money on stupid shit.

>>17899161
Women like fashion more. I've rarely been on a date with a guy who put more effort into his appearance than I do - I spend money on being pretty, which includes spending money on clothes that fit me well.

But both men and women spend a ton of money on things they don't need.
Me and my boyfriend are both huge savers and rarely spend a cent on something we don't really need. On the other hand his best friend has 12 pair of running shoes, and my best friend has 6 pairs of heels she doesn't even wear.
Some people are good with money, some others aren't. Generalisations are always stupid.

>>17899170
>Men are the main buyers of console video games and other hobby products
Yes, things with purpose and uses. Women will own like 30 pair of shoes even though there's only 4 seasons and you have 2 feet.

>>17899200
How is a xbox more useful than a pair of shoes? How is an anime miniature more useful than a sweater?
You don't need either. You like playing videogames, some girl might like owning and wearing a fancy pair of shoes to a club, or styling different outfits.

>>17899200

Yeah, I bet a life-size C3PO is the most useful thing in the world. Same with a basketball you can't use because it's signed, or that katana that you will never wield because it's illegal.

>>17899170
>Men are also the ones that fill their homes with sports and sports related paraphernalia, be it autographed stuff, promotional balls/uniforms, banners, etc
Maybe the odd enthusiast but this isn't a norm. Women rushing to the store to get the latest sale on the new "this useless shit item" is the norm.

>>17899209
>pointing at anomalies to justify your reckless spending on "designer" aka markedup prices clothing and accessories

>>17899210
>Maybe the odd enthusiast but this isn't a norm.

Have you met men? We all have our crazy collections. In any case, maybe men diversify more, so you have jocks on one side, nerds on the other, etc. but it's the same shit.

We are all part of a consumer society. Don't get on a bigoted high-horse and try to make other feel bad for what they like. Your hobbies are not useful either, mate.

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>this book is about male impulsive shopping and is marketed towards men

>>17899212

What? Do you know how they call modern boardgames today (think after Monopoly): "Designer Games". Also, aren't there collector editions of every video game series? And don't those sell pretty well? Alternate cover comics? LotR books with a world map and other stupid shit?

Also, not all women buy the most expensive shit, same way not all men buy the most expensive shit. But some do on both genders.

>>17899219

A single book? Then I guess the four DUDES in TBBT are an example for ALL nerds and how they collect too.

>>17899210
My dad collects:
>Books - around 50 feet in bookshelves around our house
>WWII memorabilia - 10-15k$ collection
>CD/vinyls - he has around 5000 albums

Add a motorcycle, a metal detector, a 5k$ stereo to listen to music.

Sure, my mom has three pairs of boots, but my dad is the one who spends more on shit he doesn't need.

Girls with sister, how do I get out of this abyss:

Yesterday I came back from drinking with friends at around 3 AM, a bit tipsy, saw my gf preparing food at the kitchen, >dat ass, so I hugged her from behind, she squealed a bit, then I started groping her boobs, she started trembling, then I reached down her pants, she said "heey stop it anon" trying to wiggle away, I thought she's into it by her tone, I reached down further, eh why is it so smooth, did she just shave, I slid a finger in, she moaned. That's when my gf walked in and saw me trying to bend her little sister over the kitchen counter.

She has been raining hellfire over me, I tried to explain, we just arrived at their place in the previous morning, I am not used to staying in the same place with two girls. They look so similar, especially from behind, though they smell a bit different, but I couldn't tell at that moment. She just took her sister aside, I couldn't hear what they were talking about. But it definitely looks bad for me, she thinks it's my fault. They are very close, and she's very protective of her sister (something about abusive ex bf), now they eat dinner without me. Gf won't even touch me and I am still horny.

Should I even bring up that her sister seemed into it (my finger was wet) and she could've just stopped me by saying who she is, but no matter how I spin this her sister could say a different thing, I don't want them to fight...I don't believe her sister is ill intended, maybe she was surprised too, maybe it's my fault. To make matter worse I did tell my gf that her sister's hot...but I quickly fixed it by adding because they look the same! Could this be solved by just waiting it out? I'd probably have to jerk off until she forgives me.

>>17899210
>>17899238

I'm a guy with a comic book collection AND a boardgame collection. My dad collects sports stuff (glasses and shirts mostly) and my brother books and videogames. I've got friends that collect roughly the same stuff (books/comics/games).

My local game store is full of guys preordering the collector edition of shit. The second hand book store we go to is also mainly a guy thing. I don't see how we are the weird ones here.

>>17899246
I agree. I know MAYBE one guy who doesn't have an extensive collection of something.

>>17899245
I would just be honest with her and tell the truth, that you were drunk and horny and honestly thought you were touching your gf because they look kinda similar from behind. Refrain from mentioning the apparent willingness.

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>>17896211
this is more of a grooming question for men and also to ask girls what they expect from us

I like this girl a lot and we've been hanging out one on one often (none of them have been "dates" though so I'm still keeping my distance), and before I take further steps, I'd like to clean myself up a bit just to match her effort with her makeup/eyebrows whatever girls do.

Would anything in pic related be good and acceptable? I already clean up my unibrow area and also shave my armpits, but my legs are a jungle (never mind my pubes). Hair on my arms are practically non-existent/bare but for some reason, it's really thick/hairy from the waist down and I figure I should really trim it regularly.

Maybe there's just something weird about trimming chest hair with the same thing you trim your pubes?

>>17899327

While I don't shave my body, I want to point out something in your logic. You are comparing make-up to stuff she will only see when you get naked. Unless you are going for a date at the pool, then it won't make much of a difference whether you shave or not just yet. One step at a time.

>>17899127
Again, except if you pay enough. I know a guy who's done some preeetty fucked up stuff with prostitutes - after paying a lot.

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>>17899357
>preeetty fucked up stuff with prostitutes
for example?

>>17899357

He says he did. Not sure how much you should believe him. And even then, what kind of place does he go to?

>>17899327
I only trim my beard and my pubes, man. You're some level of gay if you shave elsewhere

but my deodorant doesn't last for 12 hours (even if it's rated 24 hours) if my armpit hair is too thick and putting on more deodorant would be just as bad as BO.

I can just go ahead and trim it next time, I just shaved it since it's less hassle that way.

Honestly, I haven't been swimming since I was 12 due to being conscious on how I should appear with body hair

My ex boyfriend got really depressed and went to therapy after I broke up with him.
He was very intelligent and absolutely fun to be around, but he was a terrible partner. He understood why I broke up with me, and even admitted it was completely his fault and he was sorry.
His parents talk shit about me and tell everyone I'm a bitch.

Should I talk to them, to him or just ignore it?

>>17899431
what if you are a bitch?

What's the percent of white women in the USA who have been blacked ? Is it s commmon as the memes make it out to be ?

>>17899438
I am, but I've never been a bitch to him.

He disappeared and stopped talking to me after 2 months we were dating. Came back two weeks later, refused to give me an explanation.
He made fun of me for crying after my dad was diagnosed with cancer.
He was AMAZINGLY selfish - while I took care of him practically (cooked his food, ironed his clothes) and emotionally (talked about his issues constantly) he pretty much never did anything nice to me.
He flirted with other girls in front of me, and routinely told me how much other girls liked him physically.

I truly loved him and liked him more than any other guy, and I tried really hard to help him become a better partner, but I'm not a charity.
I know it's not his fault for being this fucked up, but I cannot pour love on someone who never did anything for me.

>>17899447
who the fuck knows, i guess it depends how common you think it is as to how strong the meme is. however, all the stats on it show that white women are actually least likely females to mix. so its the lowest of any group, but you still have to do things on a case by case basis, its actually quite easy to find out then you can dump the mudsharks ez

also stop being autistic

>>17899466
How to find out to weed out mud sharks

>>17899480
start with red flags

- bad relationship with father
- talks like a nig
- lots of jewellery

then just dig around when youre talking to them. they tend to have a certain look (like the thousand cock stare), once you know it youll see it

>>17899266
Yes, I intend to tell her all that, again. What disturbs me is, now that she won't satisfy my need, I'm starting to think about her sister more and more, I mean after what I did, it's hard not to, I can't forget her smell, and how soft she was, I can still feel her smooth vagina, her warmth on my finger. Sadly, 30 minutes ago, I jerked off thinking about the sister, thought it would go away.

Girls:

If you are in a 4yr+ relationship and you've fallen in love with another guy, what are the possible reasons for not ending your relationship to be with the other guy? Other than not wanting to hurt your bf.

>>17899569

Let me guess, you are the other guy? Dudes do that to girls all the time. "I swear I'll leave my wife soon, I love you."

You fell for it. She doesn't wanna leave him, she doesn't wanna leave him. No point in learning why.

>>17899569
I wouldn't break up with my boyfriend for a crush, for no reason.
If I get a crush on someone I just stop talking to them and spend more time with my boyfriend and get over it. Shit happens, but no reason to ruin a good relationship over "Mike from work makes me laugh and he's hot".

>>17899569
Hesitance on whether or not these feelings are legitimate or are just a symptom caused by a lack of needs being met in the relationship. 4 years is a long time to invest in a person. It demands that any feelings of doubt or waining of affection be examined to gauge if the relationship can be saved

This question's for everyone, don't feel like starting a new thread.

If you're in an open relationship, are you supposed to tell a person you hook up with about that? A one night stand?

Only curious, never been in this situation

>>17899569
People who are in long-term relationships don't get there by throwing them out as soon as they get another crush. Most commonly crushes pass pretty quickly as long as you don't pursue them.

>>17899629
Why would you? I mean, do you tell your random hookups about other random hookups you've had recently?

>>17899658
That was my thought, but I thought I'd ask

>>17899582
I am

>>17899591
>>17899639
It's not a crush. I believe that

>>17899569
Because I love my bf more than you, because I've known him for 4 years. So leave me alone.

>>17899680
You really want this girl to leave her long term relationship that she has cultivated and nurtured to this point, still no doubt used to the chemistry and comfort of being with him, to be with you? Who she will have to learn about and suffer through the growing pains of a long term commitment with again (if that is even what you want) as well as the sorrow of leaving her last relationship? Really?

>>17899680
Why do you believe it isn't a crush?

>>17899386
Having his ass licked clean, tying her up, beating some, etc. Maybe tame to some but I think it's pretty fucked up.

>>17899391
Mostly Escorts in Shanghai or Bangkok.

What's the point of having a gf and marrying if she is inevitably going sleep with better looking dudes on the side? I'm utterly ugly and no amount of gym and money can fix that.

>>17899730
Because it is not so inevitable.
If a person likes you enough to marry you, it's not like she's going to fuck another dude because she ultimately thinks your ugly. It doesn't make any sense.

>>17899730
The problem is not the gf. At least not yet.

My gf physically threw me and my stuff out of her house just now. Not because I cheated, assaulted or yelled at her, she's mad because I won't argue with another female she's yelling at. This shit hurts my adrenaline is off the charts. Should I forgive her? We haven't been in a relationship long maybe a couple of months.

>>17899730
>What's the point of having a gf and marrying if she is inevitably going sleep with better looking dudes on the side?

Good to know we have an oracle among us. Tell me the winning lottery tickets!

You can't predict the future, Anon. And if it already happened to you, I bet your low self-esteem didn't help matter much either. Don't obsess over shit out of your control and enjoy what you have.

>>17899746
No. Move on with your life. Don't date psychos.

>>17899738
>>17899747
I feel like us Latin-Americans are way more 'loose' when it comes to cheating, so yes I think it's sort of inevitable.

>>17899758

I'm Latin American and no, it's not inevitable.

>>17899748

now shes crying hysterically wanting to come back why did she she trow me out then? I dont understand women

>>17899765
Don't go back.
I would never treat my man like that, because he didn't side with me in agrument.
She needs to control her temper - even if the agrument hit a sore nerve. She could have left the room and cool down OR take her anger out on the real problem. She just blamed you for everything.
I would go home and watch a nice movie.

>>17899762
Are you sure, because having affairs is routine for everyone I know, including my parents.

>>17899779

Pretty sure. I mean, I know cheaters, of course, but it's not the norm where I'm from. So don't blame your insecurities on all of us.

Question for everyone:

How did you meet your current bf/gf? What was the setting and circumstance that led to the first date?

>>17899778
I'll do just that, thanks Anon.

>>17899680
Delude yourself if you'd like.

>>17899785
University fencing club. I wanted a few more friends so I asked for his number. We texted a few times and went out for tea.
I learned he had a girlfriend and told him I can't talk to him, because I had feelings for him.
He broke up with her, to continue hanging out with me.A couple of months later we started dating.
We are fine and well. We have some problems. Excellent boyfriend so far.

>>17899785
I was at the pub for my best friend's birthday. He was there with his best friend, sitting at the bar counter.
While I was ordering a beer he made a sexist, awful joke and I overheard it. I laughed and smiled to him.
Later I went out to smoke a cigarette and he came to talk to me. We talked for two hours.
He asked me out on a date for the next morning. We went out for a coffee. Spent the whole day together.

Didn't think this deserved its own thread.
I have a penis.
How can I tell if I'm codependent?

>>17899785
In campus, was walking up the stairs to my office and this girl walking in front of me tripped and fell so I had to catch her. (I mean it would look ridiculous if I had dodged).

She insisted so our first date was in the afternoon of the same day.

She's an undergrad and the only thing I like about her is her look. I told her I wasn't interested in serious relationship, so she left me, for a week. Then we're back together.

>>17899842
Do you do many things by yourself? When someone is introduced into your life, can you still do things by yourself?

When I say can, I mean, you won't feel emotionally hurt and occasionally want to be by yourself.

Did someone call you codependent or are you being paranoid?

>>17899863
Someone called me codependent a month ago ish but I don't think much of that judgment, it's primarily paranoia.
There's a person with whom if I don't have any contact with for longer than about a day and a half I start to feel paranoid about - this then turns into resentment and then a general sense of panic before turning into feeling like shit in general.
I'm quite aware of this so I can suppress the emotions to some extent, but I can't stop the reaction.
Also I'm terrified of them being gone one day.

Guy here
I have a friend and there was always sexual and romantic tension, everybody knew about It. Now years have passed and the tension dissapeared, me and my friend still go out every few months to catch up and while we still have chemistry i dont think neither of us want to start something.
We never did something about the romantic stuff but she wanted me to take the first step which i didn't do and now theres no romance anymore.
I dont feel anything anymore but i always wanted to at least confess my original feelings and have her confess hers too, the problem is she has a boyfriend and i think im being selfish because i know she doesnt feel anything anymore.
Mutual friends told me that she liked me in a romantic way back then back then, thats why i want her to tell me that.
Is It a good idea to talk about the subject with her now that she has a boyfriend, or am i just being selfish?

>>17899898
I understand this, I am the same. I get this if my boyfriend doesn't talk to me for a day or at elast sends me a message.

I don't know if I would call us codependent. Maybe just dependent?

As long as your happiness doesn't only rely on this person and you aren't a complete bitchdick when they get back to you late, when I think you are good.

Or maybe I feel you are good, because I am the same. I guess I hope we aren't codependent.

>>17899901
Why bring it up? You guys didn't date. You both have moved on. You could have asked her out before, but now it doesn't matter. This will only cause drama for her and insecurity for her boyfriend.

>>17899913
Yeah, I can keep it under control, I just don't like feeling so many bad things about someone I care about deeply.
I guess it's attachment issues? Dunno. Glad I'm not alone though, hope we can get past it.

Guys!

Ex boyfriend sent me a long message out of the blue, apologising for cheating on me, for "being a fucking jerk" and telling me I deserved better than him. He insisted on how sorry he is and such things.

What is he expecting? What should I do?

>>17899950
Me too. I'm actually feeling it right now. Pretty pissed.

I hope you can live with it or figure it out.

>>17899981
>What should I do?

you should suck his dick, that'd show him how much he missed out.

>>17900010
I already sucked his dick, many times. He seemed to appreciate it and he misses it.

I would prefer not doing it again tho.

>>17899981
i sent a message like that to an ex too but it was mostly as an apology because i did act like a fucking douchebag, i wasnt trying to get into her pants or anything but i knew i fucked up, but i have SPD so im not a regular guy, so i dont know
>>17899913
i guess i wanted her to finally confess as a way for me to get closure but maybe you are right.
Funny thing is her last boyfriend knew about our past and whiile i only talked to him for like 5 seconds he despised me and according to a mutual friend it made him very inscure. Her current boyfriend only knows im her friend but he doesnt know we have a history together because she never told him and there is no one to tell him

Is pussy whipping a female instinct or do they learn it (how?)?

>>17899981
I don't know. Ignore him.

>>17900017
do you want to fug him?

Why am I into dumb girls?
Where do I find dumb girls for marriage?

>>17900027
He's fairly fucked up, he was diagnosed with ASPD. Not really a regular guy.
He never showed any regard to my feelings and never apologised for anything, it was ind of weird to get a message like this from him.

>>17900029
Not particularly.
He's very good looking and charming, but I try my very best to avoid him.

>>17900032
You like to be smarter than your partners. Porbably a dominance or insecurity thing.

>>17900032
A social media site?

>>17900007
Same here. Told me to stop talking to her. Can't tell if I'm in denial or I think she's bluffing or something, but I've had no reaction so far.
It's weird. Hope she apologizes soon, only in town for a month.

>>17899981

Forgive him, or ignore him. If he's apologising and not asking to be together again, those are your reasonable options. It could be that he's grown as a person and just wants to apologise for things so he doesn't have it hanging in his head forever.

At least treat it like that unless he says something else.

>>17900028

One or both. Basically either they learned the behaviour from mothers/friends or they just had the trait and it was never corrected.

>>17900038
if you say ASPD maybe he is actually trying to get into your pants because those guys tend to be sociopaths, in my case SPD makes me feel less feelings than the regular person and i dont want company the same way as most people do

My girlfriend of 5 months just compared me to her exs. We are ldr 4 hours and I see her once a month for like 3 days. I'm in town this Christmas and I told her I'd spend all my time with her. She took it literal. I have to be home to take care of my dog and I don't want to sleep over every night. She said
> guess I'm just use to my ex who would take me on dates, spend every day with Me and stuff. I mean whatever though.
How do I react I haven't taken her on a date only one.

>>17900076

She's guilt-tripping you. Tell her that if she has a problem you'd prefer her saying it outright. Being passive-aggressive only exacerbates a problem.

>>17900046
Maybe I can send him something brief, accept his apology and say goodbye? Would that work?

>>17900058
He is very attractive and always had a very easy time with girls. I am pretty average. I doubt he'd put so much effort into fucking me when he can get pretty much any girl he wants, and I am definitely not the best girl he can fuck.

We dated for a little over a year, he said he loved me when I broke up with him. It was all a bit fucked up.

girls question for you:

why would you tell a guy whom you
>dated for 6 months
>had sex with during those 6 months
>left to be back with your ex
>text him on and off throughout a year how much you miss xy and z with him
>tell him that the only chance is a new relationship
>talked with him about your relationship with "not ex-bf" and came to the conclusion that said other guy is right in that you're unhappy
>text him that the only chance with him is a fresh start
>yet you want to work on your relationship
all of that?

this is seriously beyond me at this point

>>17900092
then i dont know what to tell you as a i said before i think he just wants to fuck you because he cant have you anymore, its like those kids that want the toy as soon as its taken away from them

>>17900076
Sounds like a pile of bullshit. Call her out, don't let that shit slide. The moment I'm compared to their ex is the moment I'm moving towards the door.

>>17899981
What do you want? If I had an ex that did that kind of stuff, I'd never respond and just move on. Personally I'd register it as a selfish gesture, and figure they're just apologizing after all of this time to soothe their guilty conscience.

>>17899762
I'd never say its inevitable, but I've definitely noted the culture is much more lax with it. Especially towards the men, my friends father cheated and became paranoid with his wife and everyone just enabled that sort of nonsense.

>>17900097
youre being played, anon. disregard this one and move on

>>17900139
i believe i'm her 2nd choice or something along the lines but why would she put so much effort in stringing me along? she would have no problem at all in finding someone else why me?

>>17900097

The chick is clinging on to you because her grand plan didn't work out. She will never admit it but she's just realising that she left a decent relationship for one that isn't worth it and she's banking on you feeling bad enough to forgive her and try again.

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>>17900144

You're on to something there.

>>17900145
then why is she not realizing that her relationship with her ex-bf, whom she called "the guy she wants to be with her whole life" which changed to her thought process going "if i leave him i want to get to know you without the past hindering me"

it makes absolutely no sense
she told me that she wouldn't be mad at me if i had someone else but the way she was texting me paragraphs yesterday i certainly don't believe that at all

>>17900151
i guess i am i also believe that she's giving her relationship something like a month to "find out if it's worth to look past the shit parts in the relationship" her words not mine

>>17900144
I'd guesstimate that you're just familiar. She knows what to expect from you.

>>17900158
nah it's the other way round she knows what she can expect from her exbf but due to us living 150 miles apart she's unsure what she'd get from me, we've established that in one of many long evenings talking about the matter

>>17900160
I'm referring to why she didn't select someone new, after the relationship with the ex fell through.

>>17900166
ah okay well that does make sense
but i doubt that

it's pretty obvious that she changed her view on that relationship with her "perfect guy" from
>i want only him
to
>if it doesn't work i want you

told her that she knows where to find me and left it at that

>>17900157

She wants to be with this guy to have her fun, stress release, whatever without consequences. She's basically saying it outright. Instead of working on the relationship, which she claims she wants to do, she wants to fuck some dude without feeling guilty and without you punishing her for it.

And that's IF she ever attempts to get back together with you instead of dangling your relationship just out of your grasp. This isn't worth any of your effort or time.

If you say ANYTHING, tell her that you're not willing to work on a relationship with someone who would rather go fuck another guy and TALK about how she wants to work on the relationship than actually put the work in.

>>17900178
huh? if anything i'm the guy she's having fun with, she said so herself. i'm the making her laugh, feel happy, being around is just fun and all.
she told me that her guy is childish and immature at times, stubborn too because she's his first and only gf and i'm the more experienced guy for her she feels safe with, again her words not mine.

just to clarify i'm not her boyfriend, i'm the guy she had something going on with for half a year and left to be with her bf again because rebound story.
but through meeting me and this is my theory her perfect, whole world of being with "the perfect guy" got shattered to pieces because she saw that there's another guy out there who can satisfy her needs, yes she's that sort of girl who gives a lot about sex being a primary factor in a relationship

>>17900191

Clearly I misread things then.

I don't know man. She needs to put up or shut up, though. It sounds like she'd talking about what she wants a lot but not doing anything to reflect that.

If your role in her life wasn't very serious and didn't have much to do with love, that's fine, but either you're a priority or not. It's not nice to talk to a dude like he's special to you in some way and not actually act like he is.

>>17900207
there's a whole lot more to that but basically she fell in love with me hard during the time we dated and this made her question the relationship she was in and is again in now.

yes i told her exactly that, that i don't want to be some guy who gives her attention without getting something back that proves she's not full of shit for saying the whole "new relationship" stuff

so i guess "time will tell" the phrase she likes to use the most

>>17900216

Man, fuck that. The luxury of feeling good without doing good is such bullshit.

Either you're important or not. And if you're not, why waste your time? She doesn't get to feel like you're so important to her when she's not actually acting like it. You're not important. It just feels good to act like you are.

So stop wasting your time and find someone who you'll actually be important to.

>>17900238
my thoughts too anon just thought there'd be some weird girl thing behind it besides getting attention

oh well i already know she'll come back at me when she'll finally realize her relationship is at a halt. not worth it

thanks for listening anons!

>>17900241

There is a weird girl thing behind it: "feeling" something. I've never personally see a man do this, but I have good men in my life and I don't get out much. Basically the girl convinces herself that she feels or wants something, and enjoys all the benefits of wanting it, without doing anything that a person that truly wanted those things would do. Because it feels so much better than just admitting to yourself that you're not being a good person. Been there, seen that, /done/ that. It's all bullshit.

Thanks for not being a beta shithead. You'll go far, anon.

>>17900261
she openly admitted that she liked the position she's in, wanted by me and together with the other guy

thanks for giving me some woman insight here, shit has been making me crazy for months on end

>>17900271

No problem, glad it's finally come to some use. Good luck.

>tfw probably the ugliest wife alive

Where to go that is public so I can hide her ugly face while still enjoying the great out doors?

>>17900310
You could always convert to Islam I guess

I call my boyfriend names like "dear", "sweetheart" and "darling". He never really responds to this and I wonder if he doesn't like it. Guys would you find this emasculating? I also make sure to tell him he's hot and I call him a big guy/strong cock in bed. But sometimes I can't help but talk to him like my mom used to talk to my dad. I have no idea because he hasn't said anything, but am I weirding him out you think?

His only pet name for me is "babe" and occasionally "love". But never anything else.

>>17900379
talk to him

>>17900381
Well in the case he says "I don't mind" but actually does I just wanted some outside opinions.

>>17900379
I would be entirely indifferent. You've asked him if he dislikes it, he said no. Past that it would be on him if he was actually having an issue with it.

>>17900379
I never had any pet names for my girlfriend (we would insult each other and call each other names though, all in good fun). She called me "baby" once or twice and I didn't like it.

>>17900379

Just sounds like he's neutral about it. Guys aren't usually broad in their application of lovey nicknames, it's not really enything to worry about.

>>17900400
Uh oh I call him baby too.

But its so impulsive I get bored of just calling him "babe". Anyways I'll talk to him but I was just curious what others say.

>>17900410

Just because he didn't like it doesn't mean your boyfriend won't.

This is really no big deal and you should leave it. You asked, he said it was fine, it's on him if it bothers him and he didn't say anything.

>>17900423
I didn't think it was a huge deal but I was a bit curious and I haven't asked him just yet but I will.

WE NEED A NEW ATOGAtors THREAD!

>>17899245
>>17899542
1. That's really hot
2. Do NOT blame the sister in even the SLIGHTEST bit. It will put you deep in the shitter. NO it will NOT absolve you of guilt. It will make it WORSE. You hear me, you idiot? Do NOT
3. Say: I thought it was you from behind, I'm sorry I'm sorry, I thought it was you from behind
THOSE ARE THE ONLY TWO THINGS YOU SAY

>I jerked off thinking about the sister, thought it would go away.
This is normal, don't over think it and don't act on it.
It's only been one day. Stop being so dramatic.

You molested her sister, you can't get around that. You can say it was an accident, but you can't say it wasn't molestation.
>she could have just stopped me by saying who she is
How was she supposed to know that you thought she was your girlfriend? From her point of view, all she saw was you being a creep. She said "stop it, anon". She was surprised and shocked.

She was wet, yeah, because you were sexually stimulating her. That just happens. It doesn't mean she wanted it. If you tied her down and strapped a vibrator to her, you'd squeeze an orgasm out of her, but that doesn't mean she wanted you to do it.
I'm sure you've had boners that you didn't understand or didn't want. It's no different, dude.

>>17900589
Then make it, you twit

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Ladies (specifically shy ones) how do you let a guy you like know that you like them?

Trying to bang my neighbor, cute as fuck, and she invites me to hang 1 on 1 and to places with her bestfriend (guy) and his gf regularly. She always invites first and laughs at my jokes, but other than that she's very quiet and stand offish.

Would love some insight, thanks.

>>17901045
Wait, hang on. You're trying to get us to tell you if your neighbor likes you? Just ask her out, dude.
I'm too much of a forthright girl to give you shy-girl flirting perspective.

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>>17901069
By ask her out you mean what? On a date? Cause we go out together all the time. If you're saying to ask her to be my gf we haven't even kissed yet

Thanks for the feedback though I appreciate it

>>17901104
Yes, on a date. Use the word when you ask her. You can have your first kiss after you're officially bf/gf, what does that have to do with anything?

>>17901123
Sorry but that's awful advice, who is officially bf/gf first and then kisses after?

>>17901147
I know plenty of people. Sure, you can kiss beforehand, but it's not exactly required. Particularly for cases like Anon where they were friends beforehand. It's more common to be faster physically when you've met through dating, since your intentions are already clear.

>>17901158
I don't know if it's just a difference in location but I've never seen or heard of that happening

>Dating a girl who's afraid of commitment, yet we are both obviously very much into each other big time.
>The only thing she's really afraid of is hurting me in the end, but the only way she could hurt me at this point is by backing out of what we have going so far.
>I have a whole quasi-speech prepared about how fears only lead to regrets and stuff like that, waiting for next good chance to say my piece.
>Also, she's really bad at texting. Can never tell what mood she's in unless it's horny, leaves me hanging randomly, NEVER initiates conversation.

Ummm, I don't have a specific question. Please advise?

>>17901168
It's more among the shy and slow moving types. Others have sex before they have the "what are we?" conversation. There doesn't seem to be much in between.

>>17901189
My boyfriend's bad at texting too. Call and skype her more. Confronting her about how being afraid of getting hurt leads to an empty life is probably a good call. I've made that same speech to different people in different contexts. If she has pets, I like throwing in the idea of not having pets for fear of them dying someday.

>>17901196
Thank you anon :)

There's a girl I've been hanging out with that I really like, and I'm 80% sure she feels the same way. When we first got to know each other she initiated most of the texting conversations, but when I started initiating them she stopped almost entirely. But, she seems a lot more enthusiastic now. Like, she'll send 2-4 texts for every one of mine and will always respond immediately.

Am I over analyzing this or is something weird going on?

>>17901434
She might be worried about bothering you or something silly like that.
She can trust you to initiate conversations, and that's the habit you're in. If you stop now, she'll assume you don't want to talk.
I do think you're over analyzing this. She still responds and does so enthusiastically. She likes you.

>>17901434
Anon-from-a-few-posts-ago-dating-a-girl-whos-bad-at-texting checking in.

Yours' is a good problem to have.

>>17901441
>She can trust you to initiate conversations, and that's the habit you're in.
I get it now! This makes a lot of sense.