Found a girl.

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so I've been talking to a girl who is engaged for a couple months. I knew she was engaged from the start but I had strong feelings for her, a while back she came out and said she had strong feelings for myself also. 2 months pass and we've been talking to each other daily and have been seeing each other most days of the week (which it's always been like this). She said she's not going to leave her current partner because he doesn't deserve the breakup and is a really nice guy. But she doesn't get along with his family at all and has met my family and they kick it off really well. I've had a very rough past and have attempted suicide twice and she knows that. But I don't know if she's hanging around me because of empathy/sympathy. I'm madly in love and we spend hours hugging. (I've kissed her on her neck and cheeks, but couldn't bring myself to kiss her on the lips) she also allows me to touch her in what ever way I like (I've only been as far as upper inner thighs)

I don't know if something's going to branch out from this like; a relationship, her fiancé eventually going crazy, being used as an ego boost (I'm a 18 y/o going after a 22y/o) or just because I tell her she is beautiful and I would walk to the edge of the earth and back. I feel really shit without her and even though what I'm doing is bad I have nothing to lose. I'm scared of attempting something and her leaving me because of it. I'm completely lost in this situation and can't seem to move on. (I spoke to her yesterday about us not talking anymore because it's hurting me a lot not being able to do a lot of things with her, we both cried and in the end she said that she won't leave.) she said when she first met her partner she didn't see him as a potential relationship.
I'm just completely lost with what to do and need some advice.

I've also never been in a relationship.
Sorry about my very bad explanations if you have any questions feel free to ask :)