DEPRESSION

Hey OP from what im getting he could really have some family related emotions tied to his depression maybe thats why hes unwilling to do things. On the other hand he could be using his depression as an excuse to avoid doing things with you which might suggest hes not interested in you as much as he might have been when you met. If i were u i would take him somewhere fun and test to see if he really enjoys your company or if he pushes you aside to be lazy. Its a tough call but i would make sure hes still into you and your relationship before you call quits.

>>17891621
>How do I deal with his depression until then?

if you really want to be a nurse get some training and then you can get paid to deal with that kind of b.s.

why sacrifice yourself for some mentally ill person who declines to help themselves and get professional treatment ?

>Am I wrong for not wanting to deal with a depressed individual?

no i think you are finally seeing the light here

please drop that poor guy like the rock he is and find some half-normal guy who can help you deal with your problems in a more balanced relationship

poke around here - nami.org

untreated mental illness is not repeat not curable by talking or anything except meds which help the chemical imbalance in the brain

good luck

Femanon here, married to someone with depression.

Depression does this nasty thing where it sucks away all of your motivation and energy, as well as your ability to handle stress. It's really insidious. People with depression tend to latch onto something that makes them feel even marginally better for a little while, and so end up seemingly addicted to things like food or video games or sleep.

It does sound like he could be using it as an excuse, but he is also actively seeking treatment for it, which I think means there's hope. A lot of people with depression don't seek treatment unless forced. So he obviously wants to pull himself out of it.

Therapists can help with depression a bit, but if it's a chemical thing as opposed to a stress thing, they won't be able to do a lot of good except helping reframe problems so the patient can work through it, and monitoring mental state. However, they can recommend a psychiatrist.

Things can can cause situational depression and worsen clinical depression are a lack of sleep, lack of exercise, lack of sunlight, lack of a social life, lack of good food, financial hardship, and lack of personal fulfillment. Making sure he gets enough of these can really help.

If/when he gets medicinal treatment, the best medications will raise his baseline emotional state. Chances are he'll have to try a few to several different medications until he finds a good one. A good one will give him more motivation, more energy, a better mood, and a better ability to handle things going wrong or not being ideal. A good medication makes a ton of difference.

cont.

cont.

Things to look out for as warning signs:
Watch for suicidal ideations or suicidal intent. Antidepressants increase motivation as well as mood, but sometimes the motivation is increased before the mood is, and this can make suicide seem like a very good option. If this happens, contact the doctor IMMEDIATELY.

Also keep an eye out for "zombie"fication, where the emotions become completely neutral all the time about everything. This is not what antidepressants are supposed to do.

Also watch for a drop in sex drive if using an older medication like SSRIs. They're known for making sex drive decrease or preventing orgasm in some patients. If this happens, it's not you.

All of these mean that he should talk with his doctor about changing to another medication. Again, sometimes it takes a few tries. People's bodies work differently and what works for one person might not work for another.

In the meantime, it seems like you need a balance of give and take of support in the relationship. He's struggling with depression and that can be really draining and hard. But you also need support. You two have to work together to make sure that your emotional needs are being met.

When depression is at its worst, it's difficult for everyone involved. You have to deal with him, but he has to live through it. You two have to try to make it so you're a team working together against this. Because if you don't, it feels like you're working against each other. And that's when things start to go south. Support each other and find a compromise that everyone can at least live with. (e.g. you go see your family but leave earlier than you would otherwise)

cont.

cont.

I don't know what happened with his family, but trauma can be difficult to work through. However, it can be worked through, with time and effort. There's a natural recoiling that people do that can't really be helped. But if it's important to you, he should be trying to find a way to reduce that. The best way is through gradual acclimation. it's a very effective treatment for trauma and phobias.

Basically, it goes like this. Say someone is afraid of spiders. First they go to a pet store and stay in the same room as a spider. It should make them slightly uncomfortable, but not to the point that they freak out. Nothing they can't handle. Do this enough, and the brain learns that this is safe.
Then, you move up a level and move closer. To the point of slight discomfort but not freaking out. Again, continue until it's shown to be safe.

Keep doing this, in gradually increasing levels, slowly escalating up. Start in the same room, then next to, then the spider out of the tank, then the spider next to you, then the spider on you.

Slowly and carefully, always showing this to be safe. However, the one caveat is that the person has to be IN CONTROL of the situation. If they feel like they are not in control, it only makes the phobia.trauma worse. That ability to control it is paramount.

You guys can try this. Find a compromise and ease him into it until his brain (which is a complicated and wayward thing that doesn't always listen to reason) learns that it's safe. Right now, his past experience shapes it and creates anxiety that he can't control.

My husband had something similar. He's been cheated on repeatedly. And as much as we trusted each other, there were a couple points where his brain wouldn't shut up because it interpreted events as a sign that our relationship wasn't safe. By demonstrating to him that it was safe, he was reassured, and after a couple times, he got over it, and it's not a problem anymore.

cont.

cont. last one, promise.

If he uses his depression as an excuse to not support you when you need it, that is a big red flag. Depression sucks, and it sucks to deal with, but there has to be an exchange. Even when my husband was at his worst, he always managed to find time to help me when I needed it. That's how we made it work, by getting help and by always being a team.

He may not be able to help very effectively, but you can always at the very least commiserate and/or cry together. You both are going through difficulty, and you should cooperate and keep each other afloat.

You both need to support each other. If he doesn't because of his depression, or if you don't because of your frustration, that's a big problem and you two need to address that.

Our marriage struggled for a bit when he was at rock bottom, and our relationship is the strongest I know of. It's not easy. But by sticking together, you can get through this, and there is definitely light at the end of the tunnel. It doesn't have to be this way. Getting help makes a huge difference.

>>17893069
I broke up with my girlfriend due to being depressed. Now I'm fine. Always around the same time of year, July/August, too. Like late summer seasonal effective disorder. Maybe I should get in touch with her

>>17891621

>goto YouTube

>type Abraham Hicks depression

>view and listen to a lot what's going on

>Do this TOGETHER please..

>once you understand how your vibration works, you can try to focus on the good stuff.

>>17893386
>vibration
new age hippy