Ask someone that works in HR anything.

>>17891480
Do you enjoy it?

Are most complaints from retarded fuckheads?

>>17891480
In average, how much does a job hunter takes to land a job? I've sent my resume to several places, yet I've been looking for jobs for like under a month. Moreover, I've been getting called to interviews by big companies, but smaller ones aren't even caring about my applications.

What do I do? My field is IT btw.

>>17891491
I do. I have a great team. We do our best to help everyone out. We're not in the business of screwing people over.

>>17891515
It's pretty much that. A lot of tattling. It's like trying to talk to a bunch of pre-schoolers.

Anyway, I'm hoping I can help people with HR related questions and also job/application related questions as well.

>>17891525
On average it takes about 3-6 months to find a new job. Don't find any shame in taking a contract job - they pay the bills and may lead you into an FTE position.

There are exceptions though - like Google, who are usually unwilling to buy your contract out.

>>17891480
What are some ways employees unintentionally screw themselves over, any "street smart" /adv/ice you could share?

>>17891534
3 to 6 months, which means that I really need to pull through and I'll be lucky if I find a job under that time.

I also see that many companies ask for stuff like

>We need you to know about this or that technology
>These technologies are nice to have

And although I do have quite a bit of transferable knowledge (maybe I don't know about ASP.NET MVC but I've worked with MVC stuff before; or maybe I don't know about PostgreSQL at the extent that I would like but I've used and perused SQL Server and it's not like SQL dialects are all that different; and so on), I sometimes feel like I'm not fit for many entry level job positions despite having studied my field for years. Worse, I cannot credit that I really know a technology because I've never worked with it formally.

What are your suggestions?

Oh and also, what should I REALLY do during interviews? Because it seems that I fall right there.

>>17891547
I think from what I've seen is that HR doesn't give a shit if you don't make it a problem.

Basically, don't do dumb shit. Here's a quick story.

>dude sends his girlfriend a pic of his dick on his email through his phone at work
>accidentally sends it to Angela from accounting
>he bum rushes her, pushes her off her computer, deletes the email and threatens her not to tell HR
>she tells HR

He's fired now. He probably would have been put on unpaid leave for like a few days or weeks if he didn't threaten her.

>>17891557
I don't know too much about programming - but here goes:

It helps to have a Linkedin account listing all the shit you've done and also a Github account. Recruiters source from both and it really helps to list all the languages and projects you've worked on.

I also encourage to work on your own personal project while you're job searching so you have something to show for the time you haven't been working.

As for interviews, I recommend just going into the interview as a conversation. The best advice anyone ever gave me about job searching was they recruiters and hiring managers WANT you to succeed because they want to close the req.

They think you're perfectly capable until you prove that you can't. You got this.

>>17891480
How bad are large gaps (1-2 years) in a CV?

>>17891587
If you haven't gone to school, internships, or volunteering, or sabbatical (within reason,) it can be very bad.

Not that it won't be it for you, but it is disconcerting.

>>17891580
>I don't know too much about programming - but here goes:
It's fine! So long as you understand how skills are related between fields it's all okay.

>It helps to have a Linkedin account listing all the shit you've done and also a Github account. Recruiters source from both and it really helps to list all the languages and projects you've worked on.
I haven't done a lot. I've been working on one project for like four years. Sometimes I get asked for a Github account but I've got literally nothing to show.

>I also encourage to work on your own personal project while you're job searching so you have something to show for the time you haven't been working.
I'm working on two things at the same time: a project which has taught me everything I know, and my thesis. I don't know if I can take any more projects, because both projects are super important and if I'm working on personal projects I may very well be working on those.

Unless I should also upload some little scripts I've worked on? They're not super complex, just small scripts which I don't intend to escalate any further so they're not precisely well developed.

>As for interviews, I recommend just going into the interview as a conversation. The best advice anyone ever gave me about job searching was they recruiters and hiring managers WANT you to succeed because they want to close the req.
>They think you're perfectly capable until you prove that you can't. You got this.
This explains why I failed the last time I went into interviews, I showed that I lacked some knowledge. But it doesn't explain why I failed some interviews earlier this year, I showed everyone that I was damn capable yet I got rejected nonetheless!

>>17891618
Shit like that happens, man. Sometimes, it's not even about your skills. It might be culture fit, someone else being more convenient than you, it can really be anything. Don't take it too personally and just keep chugging along.

The nice thing about Github is that you don't have to exclusively work on your own project - you can help contribute to other people's projects as well. It's also cool because it shows you're a collaborator and able to work well with others.

>>17891625
>It might be culture fit, someone else being more convenient than you, it can really be anything
Something that I had to forcefully learn about. The sad part is that they didn't have just one or two vacancies but several and I got rejected nonetheless.

>The nice thing about Github is that you don't have to exclusively work on your own project - you can help contribute to other people's projects as well.
This is what I mean with "I've got too many important projects under my sleeve right now".

>>17891638
If it's like this now, I recommend just moving to a city where they're dying for more programmers. Seattle or SF would be great.

Obviously apply first and if they like you enough, they'll fly you out to interview.

>>17891646
I don't live in the US and I'm applying in the city in my country that has the biggest thirst for programmers. I'm applying to any job that may be a fit. Hell, there's this opening where they're saying

>Be an expert in either AngularJS, Ruby on Rails, or PostgreSQL, and you can learn the rest here
The most I know about is PostgreSQL, although I've worked in other SQL engines and I don't know if that even counts...

>>17891659
Use this period of unemployment to teach yourself new shit, anon. That way, when they ask what you've been up to, instead of saying looking for work, you can say that you've been teaching yourself new languages because you believe in constantly improving yourself.

Whats the weirdest thing you have ever had to deal with/sort out?

>>17891695
It was this:
>>17891563

>>17891688
Look, I can do that. I really can.

However, how do I prove to them that I actually know about that stuff? Because I doubt that they will be content with me just "knowing" the technology without any real application. Or am I wrong? They could pretty much just choose someone who already has work under their sleeve with those technologies.

>>17891480
Why the fuck do you guys always hire socialites who don't know how to fucking program, and turn away the introverts who actually know and live code.

Like I'll ace the tech interview, and then it's off to HR, I stutter once, and in the feedback I get "lack of confidence blah blah blah"

HR people can kill themselves, so glad I work for the government now where you guys are just glorified school counselors

>>17891701
You just keep plugging away. There's no real answer to this.

>>17891703
I don't work at a tech company now (thank god,) but shit like stuttering never mattered to us. I used to work as an in house recruiter and I'd just interview candidates, take notes and send them all off to the hiring manager, the person that would be your boss. They would make the decision to bring you on for a panel interview or technical interview, not me. Your anger seems misdirected. My HR team does our best to help everyone. We don't have any malice in our hearts and just try to help anyone that needs it.

That said, if I worked at a tech company or the government, I'd just kill myself.

>>17891722
>You just keep plugging away. There's no real answer to this.
Oh, that's okay then. I guess that I don't have many options. Thank you for your time.

>>17891722
your HR team might be fine, but the majority are socialites who see the office as a grown up clique and not a job. It turns work places into hell holes and nothing gets done. The fact of the matter is the majority of HR people turn down people who don't fit socially into their clique, and the reality is, the only people fit to pick up dev jobs, are generally autistic as fuck

Why are they autistic as fuck? Because we've spent most of our god damn free time that we could of used socializing, sitting at our computer programming and trying to get into the field. Thank god us autists have the government and google, but startups really need to start fucking getting their shit together and stop hiring based on social fit and start hiring talent.

HR is the easiest job on earth
> solve social problems
> get rid of the problem if its too big (fire the person)
> others do the hard work if any (lawyers)

easy job for dumb people.

>>17891738
I'm sorry I can't be too much help with this. When I was unemployed, I just thought of each interview as experience. Eventually I was confident enough to answer questions easily and demonstrate my skills.

>>17891753
I can see how much that would suck dicks. It's why the company I worked for made sure "socially-impaired" managers made the decision regarding bringing people on for second and third rounds and finally actually hiring them. It made sure we got quality talent instead of people who were just brogrammers. Fuck those guys. I really agree with you.

>>17891563
>threatens her not to tell HR
What did he even try to threaten her with? Sounds like it just encouraged her to do exactly that, since most people I know would probably laugh and be sympathetic if he explained what happened.

>>17891765
Fuck off Michael.

Not OP, but I work as a career counselor and resume writer and would be willing to answer questions too.

So far most of what HR OP has said is pretty solid

>>17891771
>since most people I know would probably laugh and be sympathetic if he explained what happened.
Yeah, you don't know any boring old office white people

>>17891798
I'm about to finish my two year degree, since I don't have the money for a full on 4 year degree I decided to skip the gen ed shit and get a 2 year associates in computer programming

I have quite a few side projects, though it's mostly games and stuff. I code probably 3-4 hours a day

What kinda jobs do you think I'll be most likely to get? Also I live in Tennessee so the job market for a programmer isn't huge out here, but I do have the money and means to get myself out to cali, or DC for interviews and if I get hired it would be no issue for me to move anywhere

what kind of jobs should I apply for? Should I try my luck for unicorn startups? Look for small offices in the tennessee area? contracting work? or get a clearance and go for government jobs?

>>17891837
Dude, just fucking go for it.

Here's a hot tip if you ever plan on moving:

Apply to San Francisco, Seattle, and New York. You can pretty much get any entry level programming job as long as you show that you're capable. Just wildly shoot, you'll hit something.

so i graduated with my masters degree in may, started a job in august, prior to this id only had one internship, teaching and pizza delivery.

unfortunately the job is boring as fuck making it hard to stay focused and motivated. on top of that the guy who was supposed to be mentoring me and teaching me what to do, doesnt like me, he clearly decided this pretty quick. it was bullshit anyway, i was supposed to get trained for sas and they sent me to him and he was like "uh go on the website and there is probably some kind of tutorial or something". anyway it got worse from there, he was basically sitting on me, giving me bullshit work that on top of being ungodly boring was a complete waste of time, then every time i finished something taking 4 hours to get back to me with nothing for me to do and giving me the most bullshit trivial criticisms. so between how bullshit the task was and no matter how good a job i did, i would get criticized for bullshit, i completely lost motivation.

so i decided to take matters into my own hands and emailed everyone else in the department asking for work. apparently this was a bad move as a couple days later, my boss called me in for a 'performance evaluation' saying id be fired in 30 days if 'my performance didnt improve'. since then ive mostly been doing other work on a different project and ive been trying hard and getting shit done. but it sounded like she made up her mind, and i know this guy is still going to try to get me fired and hes had the same job for 26 years so they will listen to him.

how fucked am i? getting fired from a job within 4 and a half months makes me pretty much unemployable right? even if its in a slightly different field?

still hoping they decide to give me a halfway fair chance but if not it looks like my only other option is get a PhD, which i really dont want to do and wouldnt even be able to start til 2018 and wouldnt finish til im like fucking 30, and id be doing bullshit til then...

>>17891563
Heh Angela from accounting

>>17891872
so i decided to take matters into my own hands and emailed everyone else in the department asking for work

Jesus dude, never go above your manager's head

>>17891872

Rookie mistake, your mentor might be an asshole, but because you're a rookie, he's your god. Especially with him being there 26 years

>>17891905
hes not my fucking manager...thats the thing. just some dickhead who was supposed to be showing me the ropes, and instead decided to shit on me and try and get me to leave because he didnt like me.

What do I do about a 3 year resume gap due to illness? If I'm up front about it, would the person hiring be afraid my health is a liability? Would I need to get my illness registered as a disability or does that just guarantee I won't be hired?

>>17891947
If you're upfront about it, no one will care.

>>17891872
Your manager is there for a reason, you need to be upfront with her

You take "matters into your own hands" by finding another job without telling anyone (inside or outside the company). That, or quit and find another job

I know it's stressful position you're in, it basically boils down to, "...not a good fit, didn't align with culture, etc."

Don't take it personally, start working on your future. There's a time and place for it, everything is appointed under heaven

Hope everything works out, I will be praying for you

>>17891837
Do you have github and linkedin accounts? If not, get them. You could be eligible for a lot of entry level programming jobs. In Tennessee, Nashville is your best chance for tech jobs. I can't really tell you much more since you didn't say much, but there are tech jobs available in all larger cities. It all depends on what you want to do specifically. Research positions and apply. Cast a wide net. The one advice I would give is to tailor each resume to the company and position you are applying for. Even customize the resume. A resume for tech support will be different from computer programmer which will be different from web development or whatever. This will make a huge difference I landing interviews. The time you spend doing this will pay out great returns.

>>17891837
Also, if all you have is an associate's, I wouldn't waste too much time applying to places far away. Get yourself set up in somewhere like Nashville or Charlotte or wherever and then think about moving somewhere else.

>>17891952
Thanks Toby

>>17891959
Well thanks anon...and yeah I've applied for another job but, its teaching and probably too late for next semester, sadly there's not much else where I live and my lease is til August.

>>17891480
What is the capital of Outer Mongolia?

>>17891534
Damn, that's really long. Longest it's ever taken me is a month

>>17891480
Why do you even care about gaps in CV? What do they tell you?

What is 'work experience' to you?

>>17891798

How much do degrees matter? Do people with them earn more money? been working in IT for like 4 years. Making like $32-33/hr. Now. I started going to school part-time like 2 years ago, and just recently stopped because it's bankrupting me. Should I go back and finish?

>>17891480
Were you a cunt with exaggerated self importance before you decided to work in HR? or do they teach you it as a part of the job?

Are you aware that your job is basic legal bullshit for working mothers to feel like they accomplished something?

How often do you abuse your position?

Are you aware that creating an AMA on the advice board was stupid? or did your exaggerated self importance blind you to that fact?

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>>17891480
I've seen a few entry lvl positions for HR that requires no experience. I've been thinking about doing HR because I hate my accounting classes.

Should I go for it?
Got any advice for someone who wants to go into HR?

This is my resume. I know it's shit, so if you could give me some pointers that would be great.

Thank you!

>>17892943
>projecting this hard

Lol damn son I can see why the HR department rejected you. You sound like a salty ass faggot.

Are you working together with profilers when you're looking for people to hire into critical positions?
You mentioned Linkedin and recruiters, so maybe that's more their call, but I doubt the simple background checks they do could be better than a solid psychological evaluation.
If yes, what do you feel about profilers? Did they do a good job or completely fail at times?

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>>17891753

I find your post sort of enlightening. I worked in a warehouse for a fortune 500 supply chain, and saw dozens of very talented and charismatic people be pushed to the side for literal yes men with no innovation or people skills for promotions.

I get that hierarchies need their yes men, but businesses thrive on people and ideas and I always thought of HR/management's job to team build, not just regurgitate the same character archetype because they can talk to them about patio furniture in the office like faggots.

TL;DR - Tech industry isn't the only industry with this problem

>>17891774
Is this whole thread some elaborate RP of The Office?

Is it possible to be neutral in a interoffice cold war between a younger, new hire and and older new hire manager? Will you ultimately take sides based on who the company will benefit from more?

>>17891480

Anything?

What is the half-life of strontium 90?