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SO is an emotional trainwreck. Gotten worse over the past three years- been waiting on her to get shit together for grad school, which hasn't happened, been working retail hours and driving two hours plus every day to get to work... And once I start making plans to maybe make some changes in my own life, you know, improvements? ...suddenly we're talking about moving away to Cali, don't make any plans. I cook, I clean the apartment, I do laundry, ect. If I'm not working and she needs to go somewhere, I know who is driving. Stays up 'till 4 AM watching netflix or whatever, no matter when I need to work in the morning. If she needs to be up early? We get ready for bed... and she stays up until 4 AM watching netflix on her phone, and then emotionally collapses. If I want to do something, it has to become a big production, we can't just do it and leave it simple. Over the summer, I wanted to drive the Blue Ridge Parkway through the Appalachians. Just drive it, see the sights, whatever. She agrees, sounds fun, whatever. So we leave, and suddenly there are all of these other plans and places we have to stop, and before you know it she's freaking the fuck out because there's no way we can drive the whole Blue Ridge anymore. So I talk her down to just driving the fucking ridge again, like I wanted to, and that discussion lasts for a day until it finally happens. ...And of course, the other plans start building up again.
She's miserable when she's procrastinating, miserable when she gets something done because of all the "what ifs," she's miserable spending time with her family, miserable when they aren't 100% in on being all family-y and together or what the fuck ever. She's miserable when the house is a mess, but accumulates Diet Coke cans of varying degrees of emptiness at an astonishing rate.
I could take this, once. I did, for a while, I wanted to support her, help her get to somewhere she is happy. I don't even know what to say anymore. I just kind of sit there.
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>>17891255
Continued...
I don't even know. I can't even be bothered to keep going. I feel like this whole relationship is on my shoulders, that I have nowhere to go if I leave, and that I need to be better to justify leaving to begin with.
Fuck, I could maybe deal with it if the sex was good, but there isn't any. Her libido is just... gone.
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Cialis for you?
And maybe a valium for her?
I dunno. Seems like both of you need a little peace of mind.
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>>17891284
I would need the valium, too. My fucking eye has been having spasms for the past few fucking months. Why Cialis, though?
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>>17891299
misread, thought i read YOUR libido was gone. find some lady boner pill online?
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I wish. Even then, though, with everything else, how long could I possibly stay satisfied?
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>>17891255
I don't want to be the online doctor but this very much sounds like anxiety, and at the rate she's going with not liking even family events and stuff, it could turn to agoraphobia
You have 2 choices OP
1) dump her
It's really not your responsibility to fix her, especially if you've already tried to help her. I understand she may be your fiance, but do you really want to get trapped into a marriage with these kinds of issues?
Do understand though, that this will probably make her condition worse
So that's why there's option 2
2) talk to her about her seeing a psychiatrist, and seeing a therapist. Don't do medications until everything else fails. Medications, when prescribed too quickly in the treatment process, can really fuck up treatment. So use medicine as a last resort.
But seriously, she needs to see a therapist. She clearly has some issues she needs to face, and her anxiety is going to make it really hard for her (what ifs).
Also try and plan out some hobbies that both you and her can do, even if it's something as simple and stupid as macaroni art, she'll enjoy it. Do stuff with her, compliment her, stupid cheesy shit. I don't want to come off as some red pill fuck, but when people are in this state, they're basically children.
When I was agoraphobic, what helped me was my girlfriend would come over. We wouldn't really talk a whole lot, we'd just draw shit. I fucking hate art, but it was just nice being able to do something with someone I loved that was easy to do and has plenty of stimuli.
It's too early for this right now, but when she starts coming out of her shell, try and get her in the gym. It sounds cliche, but any kind of mental illness can be cured with the gym.
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>>17891255
she's mental & needs some professional counseling aka "intervention"
either keep being her human doormat or tell her - get your head 2gether or i'm outta here
poke around nami.org
good luck m8
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