A friend wants me to come over for the holidays, its usually

do you usually drop your friends when they need support or is it just this time?

>>17888486
I cant give a definite/honest answer there because there have been many similar situations where I am supportive or not. I think it depends on where Im at mentally.

So I guess its not just this time but its also not a usual thing

>>17888492
now if you ask me this is an extremely personal thing that only you can decide. to me it sounds like youre being a bad friends for choosing not to be there for your (suicidal!) friend, on christmas of all things which you know is a hard time for him for no reason other than "you dont feel like it".

then again no one can force you to spend time with someone if you dont want to and respecting this is also part of friendship.

is this the right time to not hang out with him? only you know.

>>17888509
I should re-iterate that its more that I dont believe Im equipped to be an actual helpful support rather than I just dont feel like it. I myself am not doing so well up there and dont think I should put myself in that kind of situation.

Sorta like a person who cant swim jumping in to try and save a drowning person

>>17888515
You can support him by being there anon.

But its up to you.

>>17888515
well he did ask you specifically to come over, so it seems youve been helpful to some degree right?

if helping him puts your own life structure in danger then i guess thats a reason not to go. if there are lots of other people who are also as close to him as you are or, say, "better equipped" such as his therapist then i guess youd have reason to not go...

trust me i 100% understand how much energy it costs to deal with a friend like that. thats why i said its a very personal decision.

>>17888477
You already told them a lie that you can't. If there's no chance they can find out that you lied, then just keep going. Offer to hang out with your friend the day after Christmas, or maybe New Years. Turn it into something enjoyable for both of you. It's crazy for anyone to assume someone will drop what they're doing and go tend to a friend right when the holiday is about to start. Depressed or not. They're not your spouse, not your family. Just a friend. You should be a good friend, but not at the expense of yourself. You don't think you can deal with it, you told him no, so get over it and move on. Offer him an alternative on another day and call it good.

I told them the truth, they seem a bit upset but I suppose in my experience the truth works out better in the end 95% of the time. Thanks for you input guys