I've been dating this sweet girl for 3 months. She knits, cooks, has all the right morals, but the funny thing is, prior to dating me she was a butch lesbian in a year-long relationship. I'm perfectly fine with that, but she says she is "dominant" and "independent", which means she can't be weak or submissive in bed, she always has to be "on top", being submissive makes her uncomfortable.
I wouldn't want her to feel that, but I would at least like to know what could be the cause of that and if I could reverse this effect. I really love her, but the prospect of being pegged does not excite me.
Why the fuck do always the guys who hate pegging get the few girls who'd actually do it? This is bullshit, just break up or something.
>>17885695
But I love her :3
>>17885686
>being submissive makes her uncomfortable
That's the key. She's just not comfortable enough with you yet. To help her with that, you should be open to the shit she wants too, so prepare your ass, faggot.
Just rape her
Unless one of you is submissive it's not going to work out.
You two are just going to clash with your energy.
>>17885746
The thing is. something drives girls to be submissive. What makes a particular girl a dominant lesbian? Low self esteem? Little attention from men? Can it be fixed later in life?
>>17885751
Daddy issues, generally.
>>17885695
Pegging = closet homo.
I mean admit it, you want to feel like a low as fuck beta fag without the guilt feeling of being a homo.
>>17885797
Guys who want to get pegged deny this?
>>17885756
But I thought daddy issues are what made me like to be abused in sex.
>>17885751
>>17885686
You can be dominant and straight too, y'know.
D/s is a lot about control. I love being a sub because it's exhilarating and relaxing to give my control into someone else's hands. I'm not surprised that such a position would make someone else uncomfortable.
She wants to stay in control.
If you've ever watched Dominatrix porn, you'd know that you don't need to be pegging someone to be Dominant. You can be fucked but still control the situation.
I do somewhat agree with this >>17885746. I was in a relationship with another sub, and our sex life was difficult. Now that I'm with a guy who can be the kind of Dominant that I crave, it's fantastic.
You might try some power play/power exchange stuff. Where you're both aggressive and fighting for power. I know a couple like that, and their sex is amazing.
You should look into how to make a relationship with two Dominants work. If you're willing to make a dummy account, Fetlife has a lot of written resources. You can also ask the kink thread on /soc/.
>Can it be fixed later in life?
It's not going to change because she doesn't want it to change. You should FIRST try as much as you can to work with BOTH of you, instead of forcing one of you to change.
>>17885811
Goes both ways. Just like how the cycle of abuse can drive the abused to either become abusers or find more people to abuse them.