Slowly losing my best friend

>>17882968
He probably got sick of being an antioscial shut-in. I ditched a friend for a similar reason, despite how well we got along our friendship reinforced negative features of our personality that was holding us both back.

>>17883005
That's exactly what I thought, but he keeps telling me he's the same, that he hates crowded places, blah blah blah.

He also says very often that he enjoys being by himself, which I think is an excuse just to not have to be around me anymore.

I just don't wanna miss him anymore, I do have plenty of friends. But none of them is like him.

Fuck me.

>>17882968
Plenty of people turn into utter faggots when they get a significant other. Give it some time and chances are they'll either break up or wise up. Romance hits hard and fades fast, I've only known like one person who didn't turn into a total flake for a bit when they started dating someone.

>>17883031
I don't think they're gonna engage into a serious relationship or anything like that. It's just that he's been acting weirdly lately. I had to find out about her through that common friend, otherwise he wouldn't even have told me.

>>17883058
Be proactive and engage him then. Reach out to the dude, because that certainly sounds a little unusual.

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I can relate, OP. I had a nihilist friend that talked with me about everything, we really had a relationship that's hard to comprehend, but they way you put it seems that you get it, it's almost like you find someone that just gets the struggle, but instead of pity and disgust, shows understanding in a way most people can't.

We were separated by college, he went to a city and I stayed in my hometown, and I guess that since none of us are pretty social we just didn't pursue the friendship further.

I hope I'm wrong but chances are that it's the end, truth is people grow out of people eventually no matter how close they were, at first seeing him with his new friends in college was heart-breaking but eventually it got better. You have the advantage to still see him regularly so that's great, and even then that doesn't mean your friendship it's over. My best advice would be to try to open up to new people, it's hard, but you'll find more "close" friends in the future, maybe not as deep, maybe not as understanding, but they are out there. If it's over, and I wish it isn't, for I know how it feels, you'll see that there's a lot more nice people around, just be thankfull that you got to meet him and find someone else.

Again that's probably not the case, women do weird things to friends, just give it a while and perhaps he'll go back to normal, nonetheless I still recomend meeting new people, being clingy with friends it's not a good idea. Godspeed, anon.

>>17883067
Can you explain further? Maybe because english isn't my main language I don't quite get what you mean, I'm sorry for that.

Dude, turn on your tv, watch a show you like, forget about this dude, let him live his life. Distract your brain with hobbies and tv.

>>17883080
Thank you very much for your kind words. It feels good to know someone actually gets it.

I think that's the problem, we used to be seen as just one single person, inseparable, and you know, if you can't have time for yourself (which was the case for both of us), you just get annoyed/irritated; we began to fight everyday, like a stupid fucking couple. Eventually, things got better.

But I do fear it's not going to be like it once was.

I have other two VERY close friends, they're always there for me, and are objectively better friends than him (who is slightly autistic), but I don't know why the fuck I got so attached to him.

Again, thank you for your nice words.

>>17882968
people change and grow apart

maybe he's changed but doesn't want to tell you for some reason. I've cut ties with friends before and they've cut ties with me. Everyone has their reasons. People move on for better or for worse

maybe it's time for you to reevaluate your situation and decide how you want to carry on. I find it helpful to evaluate where things are going for me from time to time. I usually come up with a new routine to go along with it and it can energize whatever new pursuits I have

>>17883116
It's not easy feeling like you are losing a friend, specially one of those, it's just something most females and normies wouldn't understand. Carry on anon, I hope everything goes alright, but in the end he might just be the one to choose the fate of your friendship.

>>17883134
>maybe it's time for you to reevaluate your situation and decide how you want to carry on

that's exactly where I'm at right now
But I feel terrible and so fucking lost.

>>17882968
a friend who was very important to me stopped talking to me because he realized we were holding each other back by encouraging each other to keep being depressed shut-ins. I was also more depressed than he was so that was obviously draining over time. I was mostly jealous because he found enough motivation to try to do something else while I was way too anxious. I was forced to change my life over time and when I contacted him a year later he was more comfortable talking to me and we were friends again though not in the same way as before.

>>17883423
Was he your best friend? Did you feel the same way I did (this deep loneliness feeling, regret, sadness, everything together)? If so, were you able to recover from that?

I'm asking because that's how I'm feeling. I am deeplpy disappointed.

>>17883455
deeply*
my bad

>>17883080
>>17882968
>>17883423

I can relate to you guys. I'm going through the same thing as OP. Stay strong.

>>17882968

>>He also says very often that he enjoys being by himself, which I think is an excuse just to not have to be around me anymore.

I also enjoy being by myself, but I also want to spend time with other people every now and then too. People are innately social animals and when you never want to associate with anyone else then there's something wrong.

>>17883024
Anon that sounds exactly like all of my best friends I ever had. Through my whole childhood and after I've heard the "Oh I love spending time indoors or outside taking nice walks and talking with you!" but after a few years people get bored of that I guess and I always end up alone since I just simply don't like big groups of people and stuff. I mean I am good at socialising but it's really not my thing. Some of them would end up getting drunk and or experience some kind of big attention and liking it and of course they would exchange boring weekends with me with the more fun ones.
I fixed that problem accidentally by finding my soulmate who is my best friend too. It's just different when on top of a great friendship you share physical and emotional intimacy.
I'm sorry I don't have good advice as I'm not sure with what you should do with your friend, maybe wait and see if this was just a stupid phase that he will get bored quickly of.

>>17883455
He was my best friend at the time and I felt extremely sad for a while. I thought about all the things we used to do and how it would never be that good again. I began being more active with my other friends and that made me not miss him as much after a while. The only permanent thing is that I now have to talk to friends more often because I'm terrified of being abandoned(I don't meet many new people). I never was before and always felt like things would work out naturally.

>>17882968

My advice is to try to change alongside with him, it's good to get out of your comfort zone once in a while. You bonded over both being antisocial hermits, so you've developed a solid foundation together and now if he continues to go out just go along with him, you don't have to drink if thats not your thing (it's recommended to loosen up) but just try to have fun.

Yeah you might "lose" your friend if you start drifting due to have different priorities, social circles or recreational activities but you can also keep your friend if you put in some effort.

>>17882968

I've kind of been in your friends situation before, but I am still very much friends with the guy that I used to be inseparable with. I met a girl one night I went out and then most, if not all of my free time ended up being spent with different social circles or my girlfriend, I still tried to make time for my friend and did see him once or twice a week but that eventually fizzled out as our hobbies changed. He moved in with two other friends and they are now a really close threesome, so he got through it okay. After all these years we never completely broke contact and never had a fight or anything over what happened, but I think we both remember and miss how we used to be. But that's life, people go through things, move, change and if you don't adapt with the person you're bound to drift apart, at least temporarily. A lot of it depends on your actions too, so if you put in the effort your friend will likely reciprocate, if you're his best friend even if he's seeing this new girl he would and could still use you as a friend to talk to about his relationship problems or whatever.

>>17883031
I am doing this.. it isn't even my girlfriends fault it mine. I am so clingy and dependent it's sickening. Help

>>17884504

You're flaking on your friends for her? Clingy people usually are that way because they have no one else, but if you have friends you're ignoring then spread your clingyness around and no one will realise you are clingy that way.

Don't let one girl pull you away from your old life, it's a terrible mistake to make. The goal is to incorporate her into your already existing life and routine.

>>17884265
OP here, that's exatcly how I feel.
Let's just wait and see then. I hope things get better for all of us.