The love of my life just broke up with me a week from today.

Last week she came over after I had not seen her for a week since she went home to her family after finals and she had strep throat. Everything seemed perfectly normal until she brought up therapy again and we shortly discussed it. I told her I didn't really feel it would help as I do not trust therapists and don't think they actually help. She began crying and told me we were breaking up. I was blindsided. I never would have thought that this could even possibly happen. I admitted that before I hadn't put as much effort as I could have in changing my attitude and that this time I would give 100%. I even said I would go to therapy if that's what it would take. She said it shouldnt take this situation to get me to change. She said it wasn't fair to her to feel the way she does. She said that this week apart she started seeing all of the things that she couldn't see since we spent so much time together. All throughout this she kept telling me she loved me and held me tight. She would brush my hair and act the same as if we were still dating.

I didn't want to beg her to stay since that wouldn't be fair to her. I did however ask for a final chance which she refused. There was nothing I could do. She left and I haven't stopped crying since. I have no idea how to deal with this. I will NEVER find another girl like her, it's just not possible. After sifting through the garbage pool of girls at uni filled with promiscuous degenerates and liars, I found the girl of my dreams. She's absolutely beautiful and pure, and I used to be able to call her my own. I just don't know what to do. I told my group of close friends and they invited me to hang out to try to get over it all, so I'll be drinking myself to death later tonight but after that who knows. I was fine on my own before her, but now that I've met my other half, there's no going back to regular everyday life without her. I'm devastated. Yeah it sounds bitchy and melodramatic but it is what it is.

2/3

Also, my parents and several other people asked within the past month if I thought that she was the one. Of course I told them all yes, but now this happens. I was so sure nothing could possibly happen and that our relationship was airtight. I was so horribly wrong and now I don't know what to do.

Now I just want to try to get better and just put everything into my schoolwork for my last semester (I graduate in spring) and better myself just for me, but it's the beginning of winter break and I have nothing to keep me occupied and take my mind off of this... how do I even manage?

I still wholeheartedly believe she's the one, and I know she still loves me, but idk what the fuck to do anymore. I've started therapy and I've let her know that but she won't respond

We had already bought each other Christmas gifts so I made a christmas card and wrote a long ass heartfelt note appologizing, telling her everything I love about her, and telling her everything that I'm changing . I plan on dropping it off at her place along with her gift to maybe open the (metaphorical) door. After that I don't know what else I could possibly do besides work on myself and hope she comes around but fuck me it hurts worse than anything I've ever gone through

3/3

Don't go to a therapist. Go to a psychiatrist. It's not bad like it sounds. I went through a similar situation as yours losing the girl of my dreams. We were dating and then one day she told me we needed to talk and that she was actually in love with my best friend all along. She left me for my best friend. I lost her and that friend, who turned out to be the shittiest friend of all time.
Anyways, my psychiatrist helped. I can honestly say my psychiatrist, with my effort and free will, changed my life. I'm so much better off now. I feel amazing every day. And he's one of my best friends. I have no idea where you're located, but his name is Dr. Steven Schane. The man changed my life. Highly recommend a psychiatrist, OP. It wouldn't hurt to put the girl out of your mind, get yourself better, the best version of you that you didn't even know was in you, and then go get her back, feeling like a king.

>>17880953
I thought the only difference was that psychiatrists also prescribe medication? I went to one when I was 14 and it's about the same as the person I'm going to now. Also thanks for the advice

>>17880963
They can prescribe medicine. I turned down all medication. I wanted to fix myself, not cover the problems up with drugs. I was also dependent on marijuana for nearly a whole year. Dependent, not just using, dependent. I would smoke 4 joints a day. I was running out of money and brain cells. So I went drug free with the help of my newfound friend, the psych, and I've been living the life I always wanted ever since. I don't need money, women, or drugs to be happy any more. I learned how to love myself. And I came to the conclusion that I'm really not as horribly disgusting and publicly frowned upon as I thought I was. Actually I'm quite the opposite. I walk around with a smile on my face completely drug free with no anxiety in social situations. Sure talking to girls still scares me but that is life. We're supposed to be a little scared, cause if we aren't, well then we don't like that person enough. Give it a try OP. It's your choice whether you go drug-free or not, but I highly recommend not getting yourself dependent on ANY substance, especially after this traumatic event with your beloved ex girlfriend. Mend your mind, mend your heart, mend your soul, and your body will follow. Then all that's left to do is show that girl the new you. Chances are she'll like him a lot.

Look, everyone thinks that about their first love. Maybe it'll get better, but really, it'd be easier if we knew her side; she's probably been bottling this up for months. You didn't want to work on yourself. She wanted you to. It sucks, and it hurts, but she's not unjustified. You should work on yourself though; if not for her, then for yourself and the next girl.

Also, most girls aren't whores, contrary to popular opinion. Many are, and many aren't. It's just that the ones who are are much louder and in your face about it. There will be someone else. There always is.

>>17880993
Thanks I appreciate the advice. I've been taking antidepressants because of genetics not just because though. My brain chemistry is out of wack naturally

>>17881010
She's not my first love. I've dated a handful of girls before her and she was my fifth sexual partner. But none of those girls have made me feel the way she has. She actually had been bottling it up. She said she kept making excuses for herself not to leave me. But if all of this comes back to just changing myself, she got what she wanted. I'm in therapy and things are changing. These aren't just empty words like before. Sure I fucked up but I feel if I just got one more chance then I could show her

Well my university is number one in STDs so it's tough to find anyone pure there. But I don't know if there's any other girls like her. She was raised by a single mother and came out the way she did because she resented her dad and didn't want to become like him. She came out with the perfect set of morals and she's the most rational person I know. She would analyze the entire situation and act logically instead of doing everything based on emotion like other girls. It's incredible.

>>17881245
Currently trying to get advice from her friend but so far she's giving me the same generic breakup spiel