Ex signals

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>>17879911

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>>17879916

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>>17879922
thats it 4/4

any advice? i would like her back in my life but theres no chance im having any relationship with her when hes with him, that includes friendship. Should i play hardball and not respond frequently or what? thanks.

>>17879924
Just fuck her and move on

>>17879927
yea im down for that, how to fuck her again though lol? i should add shes being very hot and cold.

>>17879927
New dialogue,

>> is me > is her

>nothing
>>what have you thought about?
>You

What should i say?

what do you want from this? or like i dont know man, any advice appreciated.

Tell her to fuck off and never speak to her again. How many times are you going to let her jerk you around like that? Have some self respect ffs

>>17879932
Just day something like " I'll pick you up at ___ " and take her someplace she likes like a bar or hookah lounge.
If she hasnt seen you in a while she'd be down for whatever, then you invite her back to your place for drinks.

Or you could jerk off and then reassess your feelings.

>>17879944
This.
You are her plan b. If she really wanted to be with you she would, but instead she's dragging you along as a safetynet in case things go south with her new bull.

>>17879944
This she's just using both of you to go back and forth bc she likes being chased and getting the attention you're an idiot if you go for her again

>>17879951
she told me straight up a week ago when we talked that shes like attatched to him, she has deep mental problems, therapy, meds etc.

all they do is fight but shes addicted to chaos and she thinks thats how relationships should function because of her homelife when she was growing up.

i think shes a lost cause but my emotions are war with my brain.

>>17879954
i know... but i miss the company too man, espically during the winter. Like i know in the longterm this shit would never work out, but would it be bad to have someone just to have fun with?

the problem with this is i would get attached no matter how i go at it, i just wish i wouldnt get attached.

>>17879936
" I just want to keep things casual, ill pick you up Friday" is that easy. If she says no then ghost her.
Everyone in this thread is right she is just dragging you around and knows that you're a fallback

>>17879964
You can do better. Stop lowering yourself to being someone else's bitchboy

>>17879958
You are a cuck if you let her back in. Never be someone's second choice, anon. She doesn't miss you, she misses the attention you give her.

>>17879970
another problem is this is my first real relationship, a lot of firsts with her, so im attached man and i hate it.

if i had a choice to A)have her now or B)be completely over her and never think about her again i would CHOOSE B IN A HEARTBEAT.

its so hard to start up a relationship again and shes like one of the only girls i've connected with.

>>17879964
Not her, no. Because it won't be fun. You want the comfort of not having to seek out someone new, but the thrill of some casual one night hook up. When you have a history with someone, especially if they are mentally immature as she seems to be, it will never be those things. I know it's scsry, thinking about being alone, but don't sacrifice your self respect like this. Think of your future girlfriend and what she will bring to the table. Will it make you proud to have this bitch and her drama in your history?

>>17879974
Yea i know i dont want to be a cuck or any form of it, but the guy she got back with is the supreme cuck, if anything im not, she fucked me and hooked up with 2 others guys than he got back with her lol, i ghosted her for a bit before she went crazy.

I thought at first it could of been the attention but she gets attention from so many dudes i dont think its that, i believe her when she says she genuinely misses me but it doesnt change what happened, and people dont change man.

>>17879964
If you're dumb enough to do this you'll spend the entire time wondering why it tastes like that dudes dick when she kisses you. That won't be enjoyable but maybe you're a masochist and just enjoy being someones toy

>>17879989
Well, then it's because you are the one guy NOT bowing to their fucking knees the second she shows herself. You have shown to have some backbone and self respect. Girls respect that and are eager to prove themselves to guys like that in order to feel special. She is just infatuated because you make her work for it. Just ghost her for real (not this limp half assed push and pull shit you are currently doing) and focus on other constructive parts of your life. A good woman will enter your life eventually.

>>17880002
this makes a lot of sense when i think about it, I remember when she first dumped me she said she wanted to be friends and i ignored her for only 1 day before she called me 35 times and a wall of text i could scroll through...

shes so used to attention from guys and im the only one (probably) thats refusing to give her any, and its driving her nuts.

I also noticed that whenever i DO talk to her and give her attention she goes cold on me, she just craves my validation i think.

thanks this really opened my eyes.

>>17879911
>caught feelings for ex.. Leaves you.
>realises made huge mistake. Comes crawling back like immediately.

Dude this girl has exactly zero coping skills, and zero understanding that feeling something doesnt mean she must act on it. Old feelings for an old ex is 100% expected.. Doesnt mean go back.. And she did.

Missing someone you had even a short and special time with doesnt mean you have to run to them.. And she did.

This girl will cheat on you the very first time she thinks a guy is hot because shell be all like "oh its love at first sight its fated i have to go for it! Oh but i love my boyfriend this feels so wrong but so right!
What im getting at is you say nothing and delete her number. Dat ho aint worth any of yo time.

>>17880047
i've thought this exact same thing too,

like if it happened to a guy she went out with for a year and a half, she broke up with HIM for someone she dated for less than a MONTH, like that made me feel special at first lol..

the thing is we rushed it like crazy too, like right away we were hanging out with eachother everyday for a month so we do have a lot of time together, it was crazy rushed.

yea i can already see in a hypothetical future if i went out with this chick the same shit would happen to me again lol. man it just sucks i wish i could erase feelings and just be done with her,

Another problem is I know all these things, but i have my moments where i just romanticize EVERYTHING and i just not care anymore about these things and just want to be there again, but i know it can never be like it used to be....

i just need to get over her completely man this is ridiculous.

>>17880063
Just let out your feelings constructively, through physical activity like jogging and tennis or something. It's hard only because you haven't completely cut ties. Only when you do that and weather the storm of being newly single can you feel better

>>17879911
you sound like a beta cuck. dont bitch around. tell her what to do. shes obviously lacking direction and needs a dominant partner.

then you can do whatever you want with her

Good job, OP. Pleasantly surprised.

>Didn't give in to "I miss you too bait."
>Ignored first text
>Staying cool

Good job, bro. What you do is tell her "When you figure things out, let me know. I want to work things out, but I'll never be just friends with you. It's not what I want."

>>17880079
Dude another thing is i could completely cut ties easily if i didnt see her 5 days a fucking week, we go to the same school and she goes out of her way to see me everyday, just to see my face its fucking ridiculous dude.

everyday i see her so its so hard to cut the ties when im constantly reminded of her like what the fuck man...

>>17880094
Dude. Listen. Just tell her to leave you alone. It's seriously that simple. Your failure to do that is all on you. Be stern, be serious, be sincerely blunt. Choose yourself over her. Stop playing her game and just end it.

>>17879911
She's trying to trick you into being an asshole so she can feel good about dumping you. You're giving her what she wants in your texts.

Just be polite and start replying less and less.

>>17880088
Thanks, i think i did well too.

The thing with her is shes easily submissive, like i feel like she likes being told what to do, its the same way in bed too she likes being dominated.

I dont even want to be with her right now is the thing too, Ideally i want her to dump that dude and just be friends or a little bit more and just start talking again, but i do not want to talk to her at all while shes with that dude, because i know that she wants both of us at the same time.

Should i tell her to dump him? like i dont know man, i feel like the other advice in this thread is right too and to just drop her because all i can see in the future is heartbreak.

>>17880104
Hahahaha, it is not that trust me. I've been a huge dick and said some very hurtful things to her, this was less than a week ago and shes still crawling back.

I can see where your coming from though.

>>17880107

NO do not tell her that.

Tell her this "Hey. I want to work things out, but if not, I hope things work out with the new guy. Thanks for the memories."

Make it clear that you won't be her friend, and that you're actually hoping things work out for her and her new boyfriend. Then go full no contact. This worked for me. My ex tried to keep me as a friend after our breakup, and I found out she was seeing a new guy. I told her to drop off my things and not to contact me again unless she wants to meet in person and work things out, and I wished her luck with her new boyfriend.

You gotta be happy for your gf. Girls hate that shit, they want you to hate their rebound. It boosts their ego and the more negative you are, and especially if you become a mutual enemy to her and her rebound, you will just push her into his arms.

Walk away and don't look back. The second I told that to my ex, I watched her rebound relationship fall apart over social media. A week or two later she dumped him, and he was making the mistake of chasing her and begging for her back.

>>17880063
Man it happens to everyone. There are a lot of chemicals and hormones involved with new love that make just about anyone act like the stereotypical crazy gf.

I hope you can feel better knowing you are far from alone on this. Everyone over romantisises. Its just totally fine when its completely mutual.

You gotta bite the bullet friend. I was actually in the exact situation. Take some advil. I am (conveniently for you) a psych fag too and advil happens to combat the chemicals and shit involved with heart break.

Take one now if you have it. This thread will still be up by the time you notice you legit feel better. You won't be back on happy lane, but its enough to notice and Its quite quick.

>>17879924
Your question was asked, unless and until she answers it, stop speaking to her.

>>17880131
Yes she responded,
I asked her what she thought about and she just said "you",
this was about an hour ago, im thinking about sending this

Tell her this "Hey. I want to work things out, but if not, I hope things work out with the new guy. Thanks for the memories."

>>17880137
She responded, and didn't answer your question. So stop speaking to her unless and until she answers it.

Dude Im sorry! I call that the Skylar White effect / your ex she is trying to show you that she is better than you at this moment ! and that you are wrong in everything ! you shall know that this comportement is born because she dont understand something .... get it ??

>>17880127
Not OP but similar problem as him, for curiosity's sake how does that even work? Advil changes the chemicals in the brain? Is it the active ingredient or something else?

>>17880137
you were doing good showing her the cold shoulder but then you went full bitch mode when you asked did you find your answer yet? Like let her come to it on her own now she knows your gonna be clingy just by asking that and shes gonna fuck with you again

>>17880170
Ai, cara...

>>17880183
Thanks, this is noted, i know that it is too but at the time i sent it i was getting pissed cause she didnt say anything, i let emotions cloud my judgement.

Im going back to waiting for her to contact first.

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>>17879922

>I want to talk to you

>As a friend

>No

nigga that shit was beautiful. If I was a girl I would strip off your pants and give you the sloppiest blowjob while slapping a circular sticker with the word "ALPHA" in all caps onto your chest.

>Because I don't want it

That not so much though. I assume you may still be interested in her so a choice would've been a better lead in while clearly stating your intentions IMO

>>17880283
She knows my intentions trust me.

>>17880290
You've got to DESTROY HER anon... SEXUALLY! Oh my goddddddd stick it in there and UNF UNF DE LA UNF UNF UNF UNF

Smoke all kinds of weed and jack off thinking about her dude!!! It's great!!!

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I'll jump in just to saturate the thread with a horror story.

I've been involved with this woman for more than six years. First year she basically tricked me into exclusivity, when my initial reason for choosing her over another woman, was because she would let me be open, whereas the other one wanted me for her self. The NEXT DAY after agreeing, she made out with a former lover of hers. She continued to see another bloke in the country where she studied (yes, we were LDR at first.) The only year she didn't sleep with other guys was our second year, when we were living together, and she was depressed and suffered from panic attacks. One year later she breaks off, but continue to string me along, and I let this happen for the next couple of years, until we break it off completely and go no contact for half a year. In the meantime she gets engaged on a backpacking trip. When they both return, she meets me in secret and tell me she still loves me, but sees a future with her fiance. Less than two months later, she breaks up with him, and another three weeks goes by before she creeps back into my life via a mutual friend. We start sleeping together again, but I'm more relaxed about it, and keep fucking other women. As soon as she finds out, she stops sleeping with me, and finds some guy from work, just a couple of weeks before she's moving half way around the globe. We go no contact again, and the next time I hear from her she's got a new boyfriend in Thailand. We talk some more, because there was still a strong bond between us, and came to a place where there were no hard feelings. She juggles between the guy from work, who goes to visit her, and the island boyfriend. A few months later she moves to Australia with the boyfriend, and I don't hear from her again after she figures out I might have found someone. Two months later, and I suddenly run into her on the streets. And now she's pregnant. Keeps texting me and calls to talk.

I'm done now, but don't be me.

>>17880283
thats not overtly Alpha. If youre sick of someone then you'd only give one word responses anyway;

>>17880590

>>I chose her because she would let me be open

Wtf did you expect you idiot? 99% of people who believe in open relationships are narcissistic hedonists who can't see past their own nose.

Oh wait... sorry, not sorry breh.

The concept of an ideal self really helped me with my first breakup.

Basically, every time you encounter this person, you stop and ask, "what would my ideal self do?".

For example, if she texts you out of the blue, your actual self is going to want to talk to her, pay attention to her, etc. (that's where you fucked up btw)

But I think we both know that your ideal self would have been like, "pfft", deleted the text, and gone on about his business.

From what I understand, a similar concept is used in 12 step programs, wherein you surrender your decision making to a higher power, one that is stronger than the self.

Also, try rap music
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KUfzMDryA94

>>17881552
How is regurgitating typical /adv memetics helpful? Am I in the 1%? Am I narcissistic?

It's a question of values. I value freedom and forgiveness, above egotism and entitlement. Partnership above dominance. Yes, I screwed myself over, but not because there's anything wrong with non-monogamy in and of itself, but because I didn't stand up against promise breaking and selfish manipulation.

I still seek out open relationships, because I believe that type of dynamic to be more suited for my lifestyle, I'm not asking anyone who don't believe the same, to do anything against their will, and since my ex I have been very clear about my boundaries and principals.

Calling people like OP and I beta cucks isn't inviting to intelligent discourse, and essentially ends up not dissimilar to chest beating.

For me, monogamy is a spiritual unity, not a biological given, and most people who swear on it aren't taking love very seriously.

>>17881605
You wouldn't know the first thing about spiritual unity

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>>17880290
Since she asks why i'm more inclined to believe that she doesn't or at least doesn't understand the full brunt of your decision. Restating them there would let you put your foot down a bit more and give her a reason to stop thinking you're playing her game.

With that said though the fact that she thinks you are playing it to try and actively dismiss your decision to not be her friend is bad enough. It's already been said but you really need to blow this girl completely off you. She does -not- respect you. If she ever contacts you again set up that choice scenario and if she doesn't give what you want, close the book on her hard. Block her,make her block you,purposely be unattractive, just get rid of her. She's sick and unfit to be in the relationship game.

>>17881529
Hey man too many people make that "friends" compromise. It's always such a good sight to see.

>>17881770
That's not even an argument, since what I just told you was
>monogamy is spiritual
>I'm not looking for monogamy

Bravo!

>>17881897
What the fuck, you retard, make sense or don't comment.

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Hey OP here,

before this there was some more dialogue, it went something like this, here was my response after she said she thought about me

>Alright well, i want to work it out but if not i wish the best for you.

she said

Im not doing anything as of now

I said >Alright, I wish the best for both of you guys, Goodbye,

she sent Oh alright, i ignored it

10 minutes later she sent should i leave you in 2016

I didnt answer, went to bed and than this was sent

Also I should add she thought i blocked her cause i had no data when she was trying to text me i guess, and she tried to add me on snapchat and left me messages on there, it said the same stuff pretty much.

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>>17882083
And than this, Did I say the right things for my intentions? what do you think she'll do from here?

She hasnt said anything and left it on read. I dont know when she'll contact me again but i know she will.

Found out she sent messages on facebook too lol...

she thought she was blocked and tried to reach out to me on every possible platform she knows im on.

Why is this girl like this if she is CURRENTLY IN A RELATIONSHIP with another guy but isnt even willing to break up with him to have me in her life?

like what the fuck i think she thinks ill cave in or something...

I should send these screenshots to her guy and end it all.

>>17882108
>I should send these screenshots to her guy and end it all.
do it seriously

>>17879911
Why do you want to be with this girl, after all this shit? Even if she does "choose" you after this, what makes you think she won't do this all over again? By continuing to respond to this crap, you're just being desperate. Have some self-respect

>>17882092
>if you don't want to do anything

Stop allowing her, you already know she's prepotent so she might leave the guy she's with for you and that's just going to end in more drama. Cut her off. You seem to value yourself pretty well so just do it, it's for the better.

as a chick, I'm telling you to stop fucking responding. just stop. maybe block her for real. i don't know, you should have stopped talking to her when she said "nothing"