Need Guidance

>>17879707

a few things

its not as bad as it seems. most people arent all that aware of what you're doing. most say they have a 'plan' but they dont really. what they have is a goal and no way to reach it.

you see people and THINK they have a good sense of self but you dont actually know that. you dont know whats going on in your head, and spoiler alert: its the same stuff going on in your head. I'm, the most well put together young adult i know and yet im still questioning everything and have no idea what im actually doing. you are human, just as much as anyone else. keep in mind that humans are not all on the same path. you didnt have your life on pause. you just had a different path. you might be miles ahead of someone else. or imles behind. but there is no way of knowing cuz there are no signs telling you where you're at.

>what can i do to enjoy the rest of my twenties

what do you WANT to do?

>do i need a role model or a mentor

not necessarily. copying someone wont get the same results. we have different personalities for a reason. one man is fulfilled by running businesses, others are fulfilled by being the assistant. i manage a business but get paid less than many assistants. ive been offered higher paying assistant gigs, but turn them down because my need above all else is to be in charge and in control, and to love what i do. and i love my job even if it pays pennies compared to just assisting somewhere else. that is my need.

and other people have different needs. they need less stress, more solid rules and boundaries that they can play with in, and a handsome paycheck to tell them its worth it.

one is not necessarilly better than the other. and you, like everyone, fall somewhere unique on that spectrum of needs, not just in work but everywhere in life.

tell us how old you are, what you do for work / study, things you enjoy, favorite forms of entertainment, something you're good at (Even if its stupid, tell us).

tell us about you.

>>17879729
Thank a lot man, just reading this made me think a lot actually. Can I ask you how you came your kind of mindset?

I'm going to be 25 soon and I work an office job, I really like comedy in general and drawing/writing dumb cartoons haha.

My life has been very stressful up until recently, but now I feel like I'm free for the first time but don't know what to do with the freedom.

>>17879902

glad i could help man.

>how you came your kind of mindset?

im not really sure to be honest. i feel like it was just the logical way to think about things. its probably a cohesive thought process, influenced by many many things in life. but its just me. i think a lot of it might have to be my boss, he has a lot of wisdom and i feel i learned and grew a lot because of him these last two years.

>25 in office job

i am 24 in an office job as well, twinsies.

>drawing/writing dumb cartoons

me too, though i cant draw myself so i have to work with artists, and i tend to focus more on dramatic stuff as opposed to striaght up comedy.

>freedom what do

whatever you want man. its hard to say what you're lacking cuz you don't really go into much detail. you sound like you're jsut where everyone else with. keep in mind that finding yourself is an ongoing process. i hae 'found myself' many many many many many many many times. anyone who makes an effort to find themselves will do it a lot. and there is no single graduation process.

its a lot like education itself. it never stops. you move up in the years, and then promote from grade to middle, then middle to high, then high to uni, and even when you graduate uni you still continue to learn by doing. self discovery is a lot like that. you can get a paper handed to you saying 'you found yourself' and thats great, but you're just going to do it again in a year or two.

and thats okay. were meant to constantly change and grow and evolve, so finding yourself is really more of defining yourself and setting up your life around yourself everytime the changes come along.

what do you do with these comics you draw?

>>17879930
Sorry for the slow responses, you don't need to reply to this. I really appreciated your responses/answers and it's making me think about shit.

I guess the real issue is that I'm just still stuck in my own head. I have an irrational fear that if people knew more about me, they will use whatever they can to hurt me. It's happened many times by someone who was very close to me.

That and I feel like I'm in a mid-life crisis and I'm running out of time. I haven't found myself the first time yet and need to get over the whole trust thing.

I post them online anonymously to vent haha.

>>17880250

tell me, how do people 'hurt you' ? be honest. tell us what happened(/s?)

>>17880261
I trusted someone with some very personal issues, I was at an all time low and very depressed and they knew that. Later, they openly joke about this in front of a group of people I knew. The same person uses that bit of personal weakness against me in an argument and every argument to come after that.

Needless to say, I don't tell that person shit about anything in my personal life anymore but I have to keep interacting with them as they are in my small circle.

I feel like I can't tell anyone personal shit like that and question if I should just shove all that sad shit away and pretend it never happened. But doing that is making me insanely depressed to a point where it affects my day-to-day life and productivity.

Do close friends just never tell each other their about their shittiest times and have a good cry? or is it a thing that just happens in movies?

Are intensely sad feels strictly viewed as "too much information" and reserved for therapists and counsellors?

>>17880323

nah man i understand you. that person sounds like shit.

but one thing you got to remember is that the point in trusting someone with something is that they CAN betray you. if it wasn't a risk, it wouldn't be special.

i tend to keep certain things private cuz i dont think the world would understand. i think ive met one person (cohesively) that would accept my degenerate side no matter what, and its mostly cuz i know he has similar feelings.

whenever you want to tell someone something, consider if it can be used against you. and if it can, consider telling them something else. there are lots of feels things that can be used but not against you.

just remember that if someone betrays you, you dont have to be a victim, you dont have to be sad. they are in the wrong, not you. if what you told them isnt shameful, then THEY are shameful for betraying your trust and then laughing about it.

so be angry, not sad. be strong, not weak. go up to them, put them in thier place, then walk out of their lives.

if you're strong enough to do that, you can share just about anything.

my degeneracy aside, i do share a lot of my feels with friends and have had good cries.

what was the personal thing you shared with your friend?

>>17880350
Yeah, they never changed since then.
I'm thinking of doing the same and keeping most things private for now. You're right about the risk thing.

>so be angry, not sad. be strong, not weak. go up to them, put them in thier place, then walk out of their lives.
For me, that shitty person was also the person who understood and accepted me most. Its like they were two different people. It's taken me a long time to realise I've been treated like shit and I've walked out since then

The personal thing was childhood trauma and suicidal thoughts, I won't go into more detail but it's really fucked up that he would latch onto any personal thing I tell him and try to twist it into something he can manipulate me with. I think he was some kind of sociopath or narcissist.

I just want normal friends man, I haven't had close friends in over 10 years

>>17880513

go otu and make friends and go ahead and feel that risks.

just remember what i say when/if it goes wrong. be mad, not sad.