Ask a sex therapist anything

r u virgin?

>>17878828
Allright then.
I have never had any kind of sexual experience.
I can attract women no problem, and in fact many become interested because of my looks.
However, I fear emotional intamacy. I don't like the idea of opening myself up to those women, to have them intrude into my domain and call me out on the things I know I'm not doing right, to fall short of their expectations.
I have almost entirely rejected the idea of a relationship because of that and I fear STDs, so I refuse to fool around as well.

I realize my problem runs deeper than women, but I figured I should try posting anyway.

>>17878845
Are you also an ISTP?

>>17878845
I think two main misconceptions lead to similar situations as you are in

1. being single is bad. It's not infact some of the most productive people ever were single

2. a fwb is only a temporary thing

It's not in fact FWbs can be a lifetime thing, someone to have sex with, vent but neither of you share a emotion or romantic expectations.

>>17878847
Sorry, I don't buy into Carl Jung's theory.

Just did a test now, came out: ISTJ.

>>17878883
I like solitude, actually. I should mention I don't go out or have many friends. I barely talk to my parents, I'd alienate them completely if they didn't keep in touch.
I fear STDs too much to go fooling around, sorry.

Maybe this isn't the right thread for my problem.

>17878897
My suggestion is find someone like you. someone who can only stand contact a few times a year, someone with limited to no sexual contact before and someone who will not share any clingy traits at all

hell, if your really paranoid. ask for a test result. I have had guys ask for mine before

>>17878884
I was asking because I'm in the same boat as you and I'm an ISTP.

I have no problem attracting women, but I cant get out of my own head and end up rationalizing to myself why it wouldn't work out if I pursued the women I'm interested in.

>>17878828
How many different women have you had sex with?

I'm 27 years old and close to seventy.

I think I could do your job pretty well.

>>17878828
How do you remove penile papules

I wasn't aware sex makes up for formal education but since you did ask a question, i'll be happy to answer

34 men 9 women. No STDS but have been pregnant for a small period of time before miscarriage

Heh. If you put a space between e and r, it becomes sex the rapist.

Girlfriend and i of several months both have trouble finishing. I'm able to go strong for hours (longest session being 3). I figure my problem is my masturbating habits, I've only gotten off after doing rough doggy, or just finishing myself . Lost my virginity at 26 if that mattered.
I can get my girlfriend wet, but she dries up pretty fast. She's been only able to get off from dry humping me.
Are we lost cause? Any techniques i could do to graduate from these "habits"?
Might i add, foreplay shouldn't be an issue

>>17878946
I would suggest only masturbation to prep, if you can successfully work yourself up before having sex then it usually reduces time for yourself.

My second suggestion would be more prep work in general. This can be simple stuff like dirty talk with mutual masturbation as you watch a movie or general mutual oral.
Basically overall you want to both be desperate to get that apex before penetration even starts.

I had a issue with drying up myself so I used lubes but after improving foreplay and prep work, I no longer needed any of them

>>17878943
>mindfuck

>>17878924
Oh.

Thought you were a dude.

.....welp.

Uh.

What are your thoughts on homosexuality?

I think it's basically the equivalent to religion or a cult.

Like, how someone TRULY believes in something even though it's a scam and not true.

I don't think homosexuality is "actually" a thing.

I haven't really figured out the best way to describe it, but I feel pretty fucking sure that no one is "born gay".

Life.......wouldn't do that to itself?

I mean, the ass is designed as an exit.

I think that alone disproves all of it.

But everything that's alive reproduces.

There's no POINT for life to make something that doesn't reproduce.

Ya know?

>>17878977
Homosexuality happens in nature. It's consider a bonding ritual. You can be born gay...you can also be born with a 3rd nipple. You have to decide what deviance for the norms are healthy and what are merely acceptable. In my mind thats simply personal preference. people not producing more people is not a bad thing currently. We aren't desperate for more people.

What gets more interesting is transness and the various issues with that. SRS is pretty primitive and do to research concerns and funding, it will remain so for some time. Also SRS doesn't cure dysphoria and if trans ness is not defined by dysphoria than it falls more into fetish territory or various mental illnesses we actually can cure or treat.

Also what is simple a interest in gender non conformity vs transness? since HRT works best when young, should parents make that choice full well knowing it does not cure anything?

>>17879013
You're missing my point, completely.

It's not a THING.

It's not a sexual orientation.

It's an act, both in the "reality" of it, and as the act of having sex with with same sex.

People who decide to "change their sex" (poor souls) are undeniably fucked in the head.

And I suggest it's more nurture than nature.

And if you're "born with it", then pedophila should 100% be legal.

Take the "some women can't orgasm" meme.
I don't know how many first orgasms I've given after being told, "I can't orgasm. It's impossible."

Four girls have been like, "....I didn't realize I was a squirter."

I've never known a man who can't orgasm.

Why would only some women be born to cum and others can't?

What I'm getting at, is that we're REALLY not all that different from one another.

Anything that is alive, its number one goal is to stay alive. Broken down, as basics as it gets, "stay alive".

Reproducing continues your life after death.....since it's your DNA an' all.

I'm just saying that homosexuality would have been "bred out" a fucking millennia ago since it goes against....well....life.

And I don't mean any of this as, like....I'm a bigot.
I don't give a fuck.
I think it's sad.
Two men in a relationship is.....disturbing.
Two women in a relationship is more cute, as in they're simple and childlike and free.....still "wrong" though.

I don't mean "morally wrong" in the way most people would probably suggest.

I'm more like, "God damn, some people are just fucking retarded."

>>17879063
Being born with an urge to rape children doesn't make it less horrible.
The thing is it doesn't matter what's natural and what isn't. Nature fucks up all the time. Retardation is natural too.

>>17879074
As terrible as it sounds, I always think of the saying: "Old enough to bleed, old enough to breed."

People used to get married, like....real young.

I don't think pedophilia is that bizarre.....it makes PERFECT sense from a biological view point.

But I mean, as far as government and money and capitalism and laws go, it makes perfect sense why we shouldn't be doing it.

Also, all retards (and the like) should be gassed yesterday, and all potential retards (and the like) should be aborted.

In the wild, the mother kills the deformed and damaged.

It's a waste of time, money, love.....there's literally NO REASON for them to be alive.

Other than, "But meh feelings and God has a plan for everyone."

On another note, all religion should be banned immediately.

>>17879099
Pedophila towards females post period.

Before is pretty fucked up.

File: 1481749151739m.jpg (111KB, 867x1024px) Image search: [Google]

111KB, 867x1024px

>>17879074
>Being born with an urge to rape children
So there are kids in preschool that have the urge to rape their schoolmates?

>>17878828
So married guy here, when we were younger would fuck like rabbits and now it's been about 6 years, love her to death, but I can't get hard without some help by my hand if that. But if I watch porn I'm like solid steel. What's wrong with me

>>17878828

Sometimes I take way to long to orgasm. Up to more than an hour.

I'm on anxiety medicine (Desvenlafaxine) and I don't know if it might be influencing somehow, because some times I'm perfectly "normal" and cum with my partner with a great timing. It just happens some times.

Could the meds be influencing? Do they influence more if I've taken them closer to the time I'm having sex?

I feel pleasure and mantain a strong erection, even leak precum a lot, legs shake, everything perfectly fine, it's just the orgasm that doesn't come. It's like my balls are empty, but I don't have sex nor masturbate that often.

>>17879109
I always like the simple

" a t rex doesn't want to be fed, a t rex likes to hunt"

basically you have lost your biological hunting for fertile females. With a healthy does of same ole same old.

spice it up, roleplay, bdsm, or simply start a dating regiment again

>>17879074
This was basically my point. Lots of things are natural, it's what we accept as society.

>>17879132
Desvenlafaxine can cause sexual dysfunction, while it's low risk next to some, it can and does happen

>>17878915
>>17878828

So wait does "sexual therapist" is just an idealized prostitute giving "scientific" and "healty" value over the simple fact that you get money for letting strangers fuck you?

I though you had to be a psychologist and just listen about the people's problems and stuff like that.

If that's the case it's dumb, you shouldn't feel ashamed to be a whore and fuck people for money. You don't need to cover it with absurd Rationalizations, you dirty fucking slut.

>>17879142

But wouldn't it cause it everytime? I just have this problem eventually. I was on escitalopram before and then it happened 99% of the time, with ED on top of taking long as hell.

Now it's just eventually. I couldn't link it to the medication (like, it happening within X hours of taking it), and even if I do it might be a placebo, or any other causes, like stress

>>17879150
On HBO thats what it is. reality? nope, it's just a boring old form of psychologist where we find what causing you sexual issues.

the 34 and 9 was a personal project

>>17879150
>mad because OP got more sex than him

>>17879159
Oh thanks. Then my former idea was right. I have known psychoterapist that specialize on sexuality, but recently i've heard that prostitutes we're calling themself "sexual therapist".

>>17879167
lel, sure kiddo. That sonic adventure 2 isn't gonna play itself, you know.

>>17878828
how to treat porn addiction ?

>>17879179
real sex addiction.

>>17878828
How much masturbation is a healthy amount for a single man?

>>17879190
None.
The concepts of mental health are designed to sell you drugs to keep you all numb down so you will never see the thruth around.
The steps to a TRUE healty and satisfying life is the moral guide that Jesus Christ (GOD ITSELF) and the former prophets teached us.
If you want more information you can read the bible.
God bless you, brother.

>>17879190
I'd say once every 2 days is fine, if younger you can go daily but it will add some fatigue and less sexual interest outside of porn


>>17879154
It can vary, like i said, it's not common but it can happen and there's really no good solution but talking to your doctor and seeing what they can do. It sounds like they picked a med that caused less issues but you may always have some. Some guys get used to being the walking talking dildo for ladies and actually enjoy just that.

File: 1416894146644.jpg (54KB, 625x626px) Image search: [Google]

54KB, 625x626px

>>17879199

>>17879202
God made me fisher of men.

>>17878828
Is there a way I could make my penis more flexible?

I had sex for the first time a few months ago and realised that I cannot do certain sex position because my penis won't bend that way are there any solutions to this problem?

>>17879216
grow a larger penis.

>>17879224
My penis is already very big the girls I was having sex with had trouble taking it but because of the lack of flexibility I cant do simple positions like cow girl.

>>17879216
Try some slight bending when middle of the road stiff also having your gf do cowgirl can help.

As a medical professional I will tell you that your shaft has only a certain amount of natural bend and while there are techniques..almost all of them are harmful.

>>17879227
not big enough aparently. Grow it larger and stop fucking little children before the catch you.

>>17879201
I can't say I don't like it, as long as it's hard I'm ok

It just feels like sex lacked "closure" since we're used to stop when I cum for cleanup and cuddling. I actually feel more worried about her not liking it than me (talked to her and she said it's fine)

Another one along that line: both of us are a bit "cumphobic", as in it's a chore cleaning up, we try to avoid it getting anywhere, and so on. Any ways of facing it more naturally?

Alternatively, do you know any cases of guys that managed to have dry orgasms? I started masturbating very early and kinda miss those, not to mention not making a mess would be perfect

>>17879253
Being grossed out by cum is pretty common and one younger clients seem to have. I find it very satisfying to be breathless and covered in the stuff but i realize some associate it with other less savory fluids. I would ask what is the core of your fear of it,.

>>17879268
For me I think it's more on how hard to clean it is. I'm a very hairy guy, so I shave around the crotch, but if it gets on legs or arms it dries fast and glues everything, so I have to rub it with a lot of soap to get it clean.

For her I don't know, she doesn't have much body hair, but if I finish in her it leaks very easily, no matter how deep I thrusted. She never takes it in her mouth too (I tasted my precum and it even tastes good, but never had the courage to try the white stuff), and if it lands anywhere else she's extra careful not to "contaminate" anything with it

I guess it's more related to how discomforting it is to clean up than with the cum itself. I really with I could avoid it. Is orgasm envy even a thing? Lol

>>17878946
"Drying up" can be an indication that you've started doing something that makes her uncomfortable and she's either trying to power through it, or she's inexperienced with sex so she doesn't realize how much her mental state effects her physiology during sex.
My suggestion is that when that starts happening, figure out what you were just doing, then start over from square 1 of foreplay and try something different once you get back to the point of penetration. Also: continue foreplay activities while penetrating. If you don't continue stimulating other areas, it gets kind of boring. Women tend to need more than just penetrative stimulation. Massaging her hips and back while doing doggy-style, or stroking her thighs and ribs during missionary are great ways to keep up the sensations.

>>17879327
Thanks, only happens when switching positions. I'll try the mutual masturbation. Maybe keeping things sensual throughout, kinda hard as we giggle a lot easily. Happens too often where one of us pulls a hamstring or something lol

>>17878828
Am i too old for dating? I'm in my early 40's, still have full hair and doesn't look totally gray. Am i in the age that i won't find a woman or marry myself due to lack of women these days? I don't trust dating sites they're scams. And women these days want men with lotsa cash. I don't want to be considered the family fagot for still being single and even openly heterosexual.

I have hip problems

what can help me thrust or penetrate more and faster? besides attaching a rocket engine to my hips

>>17878828
How common is attraction to pubescent girls?
Why am I mainly attracted to them, and only girls my age (college age) that are petite and young looking?

File: tumblr_ohvsrmfYUb1vmqmo0o1_1280.jpg (77KB, 750x720px) Image search: [Google]

77KB, 750x720px

Hello OP, I need your opinion on my situation.My genitals are non-erogenous zones, and I've never once experienced sexual attraction, though I used to get crushes on people. I have never been sexually abused, but I had one very traumatic relationship when I was between the ages 20 to 25. My hormones are normal, though I may have some sort of mast cell disease. I am a 29 year old female, and I am not a virgin. What gives?

>>17878828
>Portland
Hey, you live near me. If I ever really feel the need to, I'll hit you guys up. It'd be nice to have a 4chan literate therapist. 4chan is kind of a big part of my life and sexual development, but I'm always embarrassed to admit it.

Here's my questions for you:

>What are a couple of major pitfalls you see over and over again, particularly for women?

>My boyfriend occasionally doesn't cum. I kind of want to open a conversation about it, because I worry that he worries about it. I think sometimes he psychs himself out, or is distracted by something, or I guess sometimes its just not gonna happen, like it's too early in the morning (it happens to me too when masturbating, I suppose). I don't know how to phrase this, because I know it can be a very sensitive subject for men. I don't want to accidentally say something that he'll be using to beat himself up later. In the moment I usually say something like, "It's okay, I'm enjoying myself". I don't know if that's bad.

Have you ever had sex with a patient

>>17878828
I feel like I'm in a destructive cycle. I've never had any sexual experience, which makes me feel inferior to my peers, which takes a toll on my self esteem, which makes me unattractive and undatable, which ensures I'll never get any sexual experience.

How do I break out of this? How do I not turn into one of those sad sack /r9k/ permavirgins?
I'm fucking graduating college in the spring, that's it for me, there goes my chance of finding anyone.

>>17878883
>some of the most productive people ever were single
But does this mean that I'm just meant to take solace in that I'll have a productive life, despite one of the most human experiences eluding me?

>Wow, he died without ever experiencing any degree of romantic love or affection
>But fuck, lookit all those poems he wrote
I don't wanna be Emily Dickenson.

>>17878943
>The Rapist Formerly Known as Sex

How do i combat performance anxiety whoch causes my dick to go limp with my new gf

Im not very experienced but she is

File: image.jpg (48KB, 400x560px) Image search: [Google]

48KB, 400x560px

I never felt gay or even opposed to being gay, it just never registered and even when I was around gay people I enjoyed the flamboyance as long as it wasn't obnoxious.

Well I'm 25 and I'm turning gay at light speed. Could it just be because I'm super androgynous? I'm not bragging but I look more andro than the picture and If I were ugly I don't think this would be happening. A crossdressing fetish has turned into a lifestyle and I can hardly talk without flipping my wrist, and I'm literally not able to control it.

How often do you hear of situations like this?

>>17878828
Once I broke up with my gf she contacts me for casual sex more often than we had sex while in relationship. Why?

File: qp.jpg (57KB, 640x640px) Image search: [Google]

57KB, 640x640px

Alright lets give this a run

Once a girl and I mutually like each other, right before the step where it should graduate to a boyfriend/girlfriend relationship I bail out and sometimes I rob myself and that other person the opportunities that come with a relationship beyond dates.

Sometimes that's what happens when I have sex with a girl I really like or think I like, we'll fuck and I'll just be drained of all feelings or affection towards that person.

What the fuuuuuuck

Gf never wants sex

Together for nearly 4 years now. First year was like a whirlwind of sex. Then it kinda became slow because we worked so much. I have fapped myself to sleep so many nights. Over the last year and a half the sex has really dwindled. We usually only have sex 1-2 days after her period and usually on a day off. It almost seems like she's just going through the motions so she doesn't lose me

She's fun and still a wonderful person in my eyes but being rejected for sex even after teasing and trying to woo her just hurts.

>>17882769
When I do get into bed, I'm a selfish kind of lover, I won't always go down on a girl, I rather have her go down on me, I would only go down on a girl I really want to or like.

On the other hand when I have sex my stamina is great, I will keep on going and going in order to please her.

Idk all I gues I could mention.

I don't usually feel pleasure when fingering myself, when guys do oral on me I feel very awkward and almost panic when they try to reach my clit. Even though I know these would bring me even more pleasure, I can't feel comfortable. Wtf is wrong with me

>>17882791
>almost panic when they try to reach my clit.
What happens if you grit through the panic and let it happen? If you never let it happen, you're just going to keep freaking out about it. If you give yourself essentially exposure therapy, you will know what to expect and it won't be so scary.

>>17878897
>I fear STDs too much to go fooling around, sorry.
I hear you bro. I fear STDs and getting a girl pregnant. I don't know what I have to fear. Women see me as undesirable.

>>17878828
I don't enjoy making out with my girlfriend. I mean her lips feel good but there's no spark. This is my first relationship. Also, one time I got to feel her up and I felt nothing while handling her boobs. It just felt…weird. I have had a lot of trouble attracting women, and privacy is rare. Her mother is very protective. It's like I have a mother-in-law. Is there anything I can do so I can actually enjoy intense intimacy with my girlfriend?