dealing with guilt when breaking up with someone? any advice?

>>17877598

tell us what you did to mess it up. well go from there.

>>17877598
Time is the universal healer, but it can take weeks, months or years depending on the relationship

>>17877602
well I had this sort of weird relationship with a girl, we weren't exactly a couple but we had sex and liked each other a lot
thing is, I didn't love her and I told her so many times, and we agreed that we both should be able to see other people (I told her pretty much that I didn't even want to be aware of it)

this is all fine but I'm really jealous, and she's jealous too and this made things bad. I hated her telling me even the sightliest thing about this other guy and I constantly threw shit at him, we also didn't even use this sort of agreement we had as if we didn't need to see other people and we only wanted to make each other jealous

two days ago, I got pretty drunk and I honestly wanted to give another girl I met at a party a kiss. she could feel something was odd and I ended up telling her the story and all that

she got mad and we had a big fight (this is not the first time we sort of break up, I did this before although I didn't kiss anybody those times), and I decided we shouldn't see each other anymore, I was only hurting her more

>>17877616
there's obviously a lot of things I can't tell because of how long we've known each other and how many times we fought over everything (mostly my fault I must admit, not trying to justify any actions because I completely feel like I fucked up and I shouldn't have started the relationship all over again)

>>17877616

thats pretty mild. stupid but mild. you both were weird, you both made mistakes. you are not the worst piece of shit in the fucking world, ur just another young guy. you didn't mess everything up the situation was jsut not a good one.

dont tragically victimize yousrelf.

>>17877627
>dont tragically victimize yousrelf.
jesus this is the one thing I don't want to do, how do I get out of this mess?
I don't want to play the victim, I just don't know how to proceed from here

>>17877639

then be happy. tell her you loved what oyu had and you understand that the two of you just aren't a good enough match to make it work.

be happy you had it, apologize and try to reach an understanding, then go forward hoping to not make the same mistake again.

>>17877655
that's why I tried to, but she doesn't really believe I actually felt anything for her, she just thinks I wanted to stay with her for sex and all that stuff
it feels like shit for her to say this when we both know we had some awesome times together, she just won't believe me
not trying to victimize myself because I know perfectly well why she may think this, but the truth is that I loved the time we spent together

I understand what you're saying but man, it hurts, she just hates me now

>>17877674

its okay to feel pain. its okay to eb sad. whats not okay is to say 'im the worst person ever' 'all i do is hurt people' etc.

imagine your best friend just did something bad and instead of apologizng and trying to make amends they just said ;im the worst person ever;. they arent saying that for YOU rbenefit. they are saying that to victimize themselves, so instead of actually owning up and fixing things they can play the victim, make themselves the worst person in the world, and thats something special, a darkness no one can understand etc.

just own up, be a man, and move on.

>>17877690
believe me I apologized, I tried not to fuck it up
you're probably right about me trying to play the victim, I don't know why I reacted this way
for the record I just feel like that, I didn't actually told her that I feel like the worst person ever. still, thanks anon, I'll do my best not to commit the same mistakes again

no reason to keep bumping this thread now, you helped me more than you should of.