Transgender Question and Dating

I agree, thought I don't think it requires an analogy to explain. It's just safer and plain courteous to tell someone upfront. Depending on how they meet and whatnot, perhaps the first date may not be appropriate, but as soon as possible once it's clear that there's some sort of romantic overtone to the relationship

can't relate to the car comparison but i totally agree that it should be brought up.

though most transgender people are also lgbt+ activits so there's a hint at it.... imo they should be prepared to face such questions.

The argument is simple, consent. How can a person consent to a relationship or sex act if they are unaware due to intentional omission on behalf of the other party, of the true nature of the act they are participating in?

Fundamentally, not disclosing that you're trans, and fucking someone, is indistinguishable from rape by deception.

>>17876513
I believe they should. Another issue is lesbians; most lesbian women are attracted to, you know, women. They generally do not like nor want a penis anywhere near them. So, a trans woman not revealing that them before they get into the bedroom would be a huge shock.

The issue is, most people have firm ideas about what they want in a partner, and a trans person usually doesn't fit that idea; a gay man probably doesn't want to have sex with someone who has a vagina, etc. I suspect it's very difficult to date while trans.

>>17876529
I think you'd notice a penis/lackthereof when you go to have sex

>>17876529
Huh, hiding whatever genitals you have in your panties isn't rape...

>>17876513

Yes, this is something that should be brought up early. You need to be realistic about who you are, whether it's about gender or not. I mean, I don't necessarily think someone that's trans needs to shout it at someone that first starts talking to them, but if there is romantic interest, it should be addressed before it's just like "surprise!"

If I was already hitting on a "girl" and found out they were transgendered, I might proceed with it after finding out, but if they pulled me into the bedroom or got into a full relationship with me (post-op), it would be a betrayal of trust to find it out as a surprise, and I would ask them to leave.

>>17876535
Oral sex is still sex and doesn't require the disclosure of genitals for the receptive party.

If lying to someone to procure oral sex is rape by deception, then yeah, not disclosing the fact you're transgender is rape by deception.

>>17876541
It is when you begin a sex act with someone who is unaware of the true nature of the sexual situation they are entering.

It's little different to someone failing to disclose their HIV+ status before having sex with someone - the person you are fucking is fundamentally incapable of giving informed consent to the act, because they are not in possession of information that is critical to their decision as to whether they consent.

>>17876565
>If lying to someone to procure oral sex is rape by deception, then yeah, not disclosing the fact you're transgender is rape by deception.
I'm pretty sure you'd know what genitals someone has when you give them oral sex. In fact, I'd say it'd be near impossible to not know.

>>17876565
>>17876565
>It's little different to someone failing to disclose their HIV+ status before having sex with someone

Oh, right. I haven't thought of it under that light, you're right

>>17876571

Their point is that you can receive oral sex without seeing their genitals.

In addition, if they have had reassignment surgery, that's a big deal too. I've never seen a reconstructed vagina, but you could hypothetically be taken by that too.

>>17876571
>receptive party

Just in case that wasn't clear, the context is the receptive party is the one receiving the genitals. Of course if you're sucking on tranny cock, you've consented. The point is if a transgender person performs an oral sex act ON YOU, without disclosing the fact they are transgender, they are concealing a fact that is integral to your consideration as to your consent for the act, which means you are fundamentally incapable of giving proper informed consent. That is by definition, rape by deception.

>>17876565
>they are not in possession of information that is critical to their decision as to whether they consent.
But you can always retract your consent. It's not like once you consent, your answer is locked in place. You could be making out with someone, they ask you if you want to sleep with them, you say yes, and then later something makes you change your mind and you can turn around and say no. If they continue to have sex with you, then that's rape. If they don't, then it's not rape. Same thing with trans people. Once you realise they're trans, you can say no, and it's no longer rape.

>>17876590
>but you could hypothetically be taken by that too

Maybe, if you're not entirely sure what a vagina should like like.

If I ended up dating a trans person and they weren't upfront about their illness, and I found out much later...

I'd probably kill them.

>>17876609
That's real creepy dude. Hope you don't date anyone, ever, with that attitude.

>>17876597
I can't retract my consent to receive oral sex from a transgender person once I've already received the oral sex. It's a bit late at that point.

Sure, I can then not consent to any further sex act, but that doesn't diminish the fact that my initial consent to the sex act already performed was obtained under fraudulent and deceptive conditions. That is still, basically, rape.

The point being, that the only ethical position for the trans person is to disclose their status BEFORE any sex act takes place. Any other position fails to allow the other party to adequately consent to participation in any act before the act occurs.

>>17876618

Except that it's extremely dishonest and makes that person un-trustworthy.

Don't be so autistic. If you think it's acceptable to hide the fact you're a trans to the person you're dating, you don't deserve to live.

>>17876606

I dunno, I've banged a girl in the dark a time or two. With a condom on, would I be totally sure? I don't know.

>>17876626
I never said I don't agree with the idea of sexual honesty I agree with OP and everyone else here; it should be known very early on. I was just saying that killing them is a bit extreme and you shouldn't be dating anyone if you have that kind of homicidal streak/

>>17876529
I've seen people here say that they would absolutely never date girls with tattoos, or non-virgins, or a hundred other random things. So if a girl has a tattoo in a discrete place, or isn't a virgin, does she need to disclose it as soon as things start getting intimate? Does she need to explain her entire life to make sure there isn't something the other person is uncomfortable with?

It's better to just address problems as they come. And if for some reason you have sex with a transgender person without realising they were trans - well apparently, it didn't really matter that they were trans

>>17876773
Yes retard. Have you not seen how many of the billion dating profiles out there explicitly say they have tattoos? They know it's a deal breaker. I know it saved me a ton of time and effort. Non-virgin is way more personal and can probably wait until you're in a few dates and even then people will debate.

I had a retard friend get flat out disgusted when I told him I wouldn't tell a girl I was banging that I was a virgin when the opportunity would arise. This was in college and I was a guy. Obviously, people find these to be very important points.

>>17876513
>How do you think he would react to being brought to bed and seeing this "girl" has a penis???

I don't know how he would react, and neither do you?

Whatever. This thread isn't what /adv/ is for. This is /pol/, lazily disguised. Plently of people to troll in /pol/, buddy. How about you return there?

that's a pretty important bit of information to leave out when entering a relationship or beginning a sexual encounter. in the case of sexual encounters without disclosure, a good lawyer could call it rape by deception.
lying about your trans status or previous gender if you've completed your transition can put you at risk for bodily harm. most people are going to have the common sense to withdraw consent and leave if you're not what they signed up for, but there will be some that will get violent if they're expecting a vagina and see/feel a penis

There's a much simpler way to do this.

Just as a transgender person's sexuality and identity should be respected, so should the sexuality and identity of the person whom they are dating.

>>17876529
Nice diction, are you a lawyer or some shit?

>>17877577
Yeah I got an LLB from University of Aspie

if you cant tell its a man its your own fault