What do girls really think about submissive guys?

>>17876389

Yeah, most every girl I've known has been more submissive - I've met some more aggressive girls, but frankly, I can't get into it, and it just seems pushy.

But even the last girl I dated, who was the closest thing to a "pure virgin waifu" that anyone is gonna get (sans the one guy she had sex with before), wanted to be fucked like wild in every room of the house and wanted me to cum on her face and shit.

I think as a submissive guy, your chances are going to be much worse of finding someone that fits you. Hell, I'm somewhere in the middle of all of that, and have to push myself to be more dominant.

>>17876389
Your impressions are correct. Statistically females are more likely to be subs and males to be doms.

>>17876425
It would be fine if nature had granted an even number of submissive men and dominant women, but my experiences suggest that even that is far from the case. Anyone who's been on fetish dating sites knows that for every 1 dominant woman there are 100 submissive men bombarding her with messages (and she's not even a real submissive, she's more often than not just someone who's looking to exploit financial domination).

>>17876461
Anyone who's been on dating sites know that for every 1 woman there are 100 men bombarding her with messages.

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228KB, 681x960px

I really like submissive men, but I do not seem to find them anywhere.

Heck, as soon as I spot a beta I just want to torture them to death while truthfully fall for them.

>>17876389
I'm a switcher, so I like submissive men, and I, like you said, like torturing men with my own sexuality (as well as other things). However, I'm in the minority; most women are likely to be vanilla subs.

Most of my friends are virgins though. Sex before marriage etc.

Honestly, my advice to you is, go to some BDSM groups or something.

>>17876594
I think you're confusing submissive and masochist.

>>17876562
Fair point, although I think it's particularly evident in BDSM groups.

>>17876594
>>17876631
Can you tell me more about yourselves? What sort of person you were at school, what sort of hobbies/interests you have, whether or not you give off a dominant vibe in everyday life, etc? I'm just wondering whether there are places to meet dominant girls that I'm not aware of. My limited experience of BDSM groups seems to suggest that they're mostly for older people (I'm 24, most people there seem to be 40+), and for people who like to show off and live the lifestyle in public. I've got nothing against that but it's not for me, I'm looking for an ordinary monogamous relationship (with someone roughly my own age) where the D/s stuff stays in the bedroom.

>>17876668
I was a bit of a loner, read a lot, an excellent student, listened to older music etc. Typical teenager. I don't think I give off a dominant vibe IRL, and go out of my way to be very polite and respectful of people (I value civility and politeness very highly).

I don't know if you can really tell by looking at someone.

Femanon here.

I always thought of myself as submissive. not really sure why, I guess I just assumed I was since it's the "normal" thing for women to be.

But then I started going out with a guy who was submissive himself. He asked if I could try being dominant. I felt a little weird about it, but I also gave it a shot because it was what he wanted and I didn't object or dislike the idea. Just neutral to it, and I did it for him.

It was really strange at first because I was uncomfortable with it, and not used to the thought process. But he enjoyed it so much that I found myself enjoying it, too.

Over time I got more comfortable with it. We'll switch it up rarely, but now I dominate him the bulk of the time. I never really got into causing him pain (though I will do it for him), but things like control and bondage, slave play, and humiliation are really fun.

Point being, it's not something that necessarily set in stone. People can end up enjoying things they never really expected to.

I'm a girl.

I'm my last relationship it was balanced and we would take turns. Sometimes I'd tie his hands back, make him kneel and give him a blow job. I'd tease him by wearing sexy things and let him watch me do various chores until I said it was okay to touch. He would tie me up sometimes too and tease me. We would both pull hair, scratch and spank. Good times.

They don't think about you at all. It is abnormal.

i think it takes time for the dominant girls to strip off the sexuality that they think is "expected from them" and start to feel comfortable in pursueing their own, maybe unusual sexuality. so i'd say, girls a bit older would be a good starting point.

for me, i was your typical chad fucking girl. the guys i have been with always took the lead. but i've been strangely afraid of unleashing my sexual powers since i discovered them. i felt lile they are too powerfull to let down my guard. i have always been one to pursue a guy if i wanted him and ofc i always got my way.

when i was 23, i met a guy online that was dom. i've never before had contact with a person that actively labeled himself dom. what he wanted was very unusual for me too. he had a male friend who was interested in powerplay, but he was strictly interested in hetero oriented sexual activities. (the dom guy was bi-curious to say the least). so he asked me, to dominate this guy on his behalfe. basically, he wanted to be my master by teaching me to be this guys mistress. at first i tought he's insane. but the tought also got me VERY excited. i suddenly found myself being a lot more interested in the dom part of this arrangement than the sub part.
anyways, i started to text with the sub guy first. we hit it off from the start. he knew i was an absolute noob in what i was attempting to do so he gave me all the time i needed to get into the right mindset. him getting all excited if i let my dom side show was definitely the perfect encouragement to dive into it.

we met up twice after going as far as me dominating him completely over phone or me controling his activities for days, him being at my absolute mercy about when, how and where he was allowed to touch himself and humiliate him with requesting pics in submissive actions. the first time we just hung out to get familiar and comfortable around each other. we met at his place, cooked dinner, watched a movie, just all that shabang. cont.

>>17877270
after about an hour, i started to get really horny and since i have always been someone who isn't affraid to take what she wants, i started to tease him. i'd observe him and letting him notice. i'd lightly touch him but left it to his interpretation if it was on purpose or not.
i'd make suggestive comments that could have been meant completely innocent. i wanted to get him to the point of craving me. ofc that worked like a charm. then he was sitting next to me on the couch as we watched a movie. i could see he had a boner and that really turned me on. with one move, i kneeled over his lap, grabbed his hair with one hand, pulled his head back a bit so he was forced to look at me. i told him "i know you want me. but you can't have me". (he was into getting denied sexual pleasure heavily).
we went from there and it was awesome. we kept it pretty vanilla since it was the first time ever i did anything like that but oh boy, was i hooked. in the end, i had briefly sucked his cock but didn't allow him to cum. i have sat on his face and rubbed myself against him till i came. trough my panties. i wanted to blue ball him hard and going insane with the desire to fuck me but not being allowed to.
the next time we met up, i was already more confortable with my new dominant role. i loved it! i took him on a leash and made him kneel before me. i made him undress and pose for me and humiliate himself. i punished him for not being a obedient enough sex toy by whipping his exposed ass with a lash. i was fully dressed all the time, which really added to etablish the roles.

we contined to dive into our new found roles as mistress and slave for a moment, but then i got a bf and i had to drop contact.

since then, every guy i met gladly submitted to being dominated. it might have been coincidental, but to me ot seems like a lot of guys are sick and tired of being forced to take the lead by what is "expected of them".
cont.

>>17876389
I have always been ridiculously turned on by the idea of having such a dominant sexuality that it would make men chase me.

However, this has never matched reality. The men I like never chase me, they want me to chase them. I am the complete opposite of a confident sex goddess. I dont have large breasts or curves or feminine wiles as it plays out in my own fantasy. I mean I know I am attractive, but I suck at talking to people, and it's hard to be dominant in the beginning of a relationship. The way I carry myself is submissive, and most people don't see the dominant side of me until a good relationship is established and I am comfortable enough to do it.

But, I have been in a long term relationship and we have finally done these where I am the dominant lover. It's still not exactly right. A part of my fantasy is like, a physical worship of the female body. While bf enjoys my body, I really want that submission to go to the lengths of that body worship feel.

Idk, I like it when bf is dominant outside of the bedroom, but when we're having sexy time, sometimes I have such a strong desire to do things like dress up and tease him, playfully hurt him, shove my tits/pussy in his face, etc.


The vibe most guys give me tell me that I should not do these things at all. How do I know when a guy is submissive? My bf does hint at times, but I have no clue what he is okay with.

>>17877333
>While bf enjoys my body, I really want that submission to go to the lengths of that body worship feel.
What does this mean?

>>17877341
It's less of a behavior and more of a reaction I am looking for. He does it occasionally, but I love it when bf just takes one look at me and instantly boners and has a total look of amazement at me. And he'll just lay back and let me do everything. Makes me feel like I am in total control of him.

>>17877332
i am now in a ltr with a guy that showed signs of submissive tendencies from the start. but it took him a while to get out of that role he was stuck in and trust me enough to not "lose my respect for him" outside of the bedroom if he submits to me completely. his sub side is really starting to show and he is always encouraging me to express my dominant sexuality. this helps a ton amd makes me very confident in unleashing my sexuality on him.

>>17877333
>sometimes I have such a strong desire to do things like dress up and tease him, playfully hurt him, shove my tits/pussy in his face, etc

i agree conpletely

>The vibe most guys give me tell me that I should not do these things at all. How do I know when a guy is submissive? My bf does hint at times, but I have no clue what he is okay with.

you need to become a master of escalation. start everything you wish you could do on the most unnoticeable level you can think of. then slowly escalate if he is responding favoreably. this way you can dodge his sense of "what a man/girl is supposed to do" since he might end up enjoying something he didn't even notice was a powerplay. this might sound manipulative, so you need to habe a really good sense of how he's doing at every moment to not risk him doing stuff he's not comfortable with to please you or to go over his boundaries. it might be a good idea to etablish a safe word in any case.

>>17877341
>>17877361
i guess she means feeling like a goddess and him being completely overwhelmed with desire for her and she being in charge of allowing or denying him sexual pleasure.

>>17877374
exactly it

>>17877374
>>17877381
Unfortunately i can not directly control how she feels. Only how i behave.

>>17877430
but almost. that's good enough.
you need to make her feel like a literal goddess. humans are pretty simple. they want to feel wanted and they will most likely do more of whatever excites you because it feels great to be able to see someone in pleasure because of YOU

>>17877435
You make it sound like like in fact she's the one submitting to worship and i'm gently doming her.
This is actually my fantasy as well, being worship dom'd i mean, and is the reason i think of myself as submissive.

>>17877485
that was more a general observation than about femdom. but if you look deep enough, every fetish is just about asking "what about now? do you still want to be around me, even if i show you THIS side of me?". it's about feeling wanted even after showing your "real face". it's about feeling worthy even with all your desires. if you are able to make someone feel like you want them, even if they have flaws and weakness, they are all yours. take femdom for example. he is asking "do you still want me, even after i strayed from the general expectation of the men being the stoic, protective leader"? she is asking "do you still want me, even after i clearly showed you that i am not just bubbly, girly, nice and cute?"

>>17877485
and to answer the question in your op, here's what i think about sub guys:

firstly, what happens inside the bedroom usually doesn't affect what i think of someone outside of the bedroom. for me, sex is how adults play and it should be like a safe space to let down your guard and not give a damn about what you think you should be acting like.

it might be only anecdotal evidence, but in my experience there are almost only guys who crave to be dominated and those in denyial. i suspect it is because of the dominant role society has inflicted on them. they need to always be in charge. be the one making the first moves, not show weaknes, yada yada. finally submitting to a girl that takes the lead seems like a huge burden being taken off their shoulders, even if it is only for a short amount of time. it makes me happy to give a guy the opportunity to go back to "being taken care of". for me, it is a sign of trust, which i honor greatly.

besides, i have strong motherly senses. dominating a guy feels like taking care of him in a way he must have missed like crazy since he has fallen out of the age of it being ok to have a guiding mother

>>17877537
Now i want to be dommed by you.

>>17877543
to be fair, i suspect you want to be dommed by every girl in this thread.

but think about it! it sees clearly evident to me that the guys in femdom porn i watch (atleast the good ones, not the ones where the girl is just doing what she does for the money with no intention and joy behind it...) seem very relieved. it's like their whole body is screaming "FINALLY!".

and it seems relieving for the girls too. as in "finally i don't have to act like i don't want this. finally i can own my desires. finally i am allowed to be sexual and love it!"

i actually think femdom is an act of love. you give someone the space to let go and let their guard down witheout fearing rejection.

take my bf as an example. he is exactly what society wants in a man. but i knew from the moment i met him that he is not comfortable in this role. it's an act he is putting up and it excited me to see what will emerge if i give him the opportunity to le lose for once. he instantly gave up any restrain, the moment i've let him and that trust and his relieve made me develope very tender feeling for him. now i feel responsible for him. i'd never want to hurt him emotionally. because he has showed me that he is so much more than his hard shell. i feel honored that he has let me see behind his facade

>>17877565
i also think that a lot more girls could make peace with their dom side if they get such a "just give it a try! i don't expect you to do it perfectly, just let your dom side bubble up whenever you feel like it and i will be happy. i won't force you to step out of your comfort zone but i will encourage you if you do"-approach to it.
if it wouldn't have been for that guy i talked about earlier, i might have never been courageous enough to even give it a try. he made me feel like it is safe to not be perfect and learn

>>17877585
i guess, most guys that want a dom girl just one day blurt out "i want you to do xyz". the girl reluctantly goes to watch some porn about it and then might either decide that "this is not for me", or she will try to pull a full blown "domina session". from 0 to 100. then she feels awkward and out of place and thinks "no, thank you".
this is something that has to have time to grow. it starts very subtle. by making her feel confident with being sexual for example. that doesn't have to be dominant in the beginning

>>17877565
>i suspect you want to be dommed by every girl in this thread.
Fair enough. But you made me want to say it.

>>17877565
>he is exactly what society wants in a man. but i knew from the moment i met him that he is not comfortable in this role. it's an act he is putting up and it excited me to see what will emerge if i give him the opportunity to le lose for once

i hope girls i meet with in the future are as perceptive as you

what gave it away anyways

>>17877721
he was a tad too polite. which was evidence of him not being sincere but putting on a show for everyone.

anyways, if i've read correctly, you also want to know how to spot a dominant girl.
most girls are submissive but a lot have dom potential! you can spot that by searching for girls that like to be in controle. it miht be something as small as her not flinching at the question of being asked "what do you want to get for dinner?". unfortunately, girls with slutty tendencies too. they don't give a fuck about owning their desires, which is a huge factor when letting the dom side emerge

>>17877741
i never thought of something so small being a good tell for dominant women, thanks

for you to want a submissive guy is it necessary for them to physically fit that idea? like, is a guy who's muscular a turn off for you, because that implies dominance? i think i'm mostly pretty submissive but i still want to be shredded, i definitely wouldn't want to be thin or anything

i mean if you aren't into fit guys at all then i guess it wouldn't matter but is there something about the combination of sub personality but masculine appearance that makes it less desirable, or moreso?

>>17877829
i am actually more into the combination of a masculine guy being sub, simply because usually, it takes more for a guy that anyone always EXPECTED to be stereotypical to let go of that. a guy who has always been a tad feminine won't have so much obstacles to get out of the way. but that's just nuances. it's not required. altough, if you saw my bf, you'd never, in a hundred years, suspect he's sub. he's 6'2 and shredded. i'm tiny... but that contrast makes the powerplay even more exciting imo

>>17877842
just to make you believe me it is not required: the guy that got me into femdom had a very average built. about 5'8 and no visible muscles but also no excess fat.
the guy i dated for a while after that was shorter. about 5'7 and very skinny.

>>17877854
oh and i forgot, i entertained a sub-dom thing with a guy online for a while. he was big, about 6'1 and chubby/borderline fat.

>>17877842
Chad gets everything, fucking surprise there

>>17877875
kek

true to some degree. i admit that i really dig his body. but it's not the only thing that keeps me hooked.

>>17877882
for comparison, the first guy just came out of a relationship and also was a stoner. that was why i didn't think of pursueing a relationship with him.
the second guy was a veryy bitter /r9k/ "i bought into the pick up artist scam"-guy. nope, nope, nope

the guy online, i really liked him. but i am a physical person. i know that and thus don't get into ldr's.