I want to die

>>17875252
Eh the fact that you didn't try anything I think is what separates you from the others

Terrible thoughts run through my mind all the time. I've learned just to accept them for what they are, thoughts. Now if you're having strong urges and feel like you can't control yourself you need to make up an excuse to not have to babysit and stay away

>>17875274
I wish I could say they're just thoughts but its physical too. She sat on my lap and I got hard instantly and told her she was giving me a dead leg. Later, after she'd been in their pool, she wanted to do sit ups around my waist and she wouldn't take no for an answer. I Don't think babysitting her again is an option.

>>17875252
get high with anyone and they'll admit their darkest urges.

there is not a single person I have maintained eye contact with for more than seconds that i have not imagined some form of sex wtih.

every member of my family (ive even had dreams about it) the fattest ugliest and oldest teachers, my neices AND my nephews, my own boss, people who bullied my in middle school, people i bullied in highschool, random strangers on the bus, and their kids.

>>17875252
You must be between ages 19 and 21.

Attraction to girls in addition of being attracted to women is not a bad thing at that age, just avoid babysitting and don't torture yourself.
If the thoughts come while you fap let them come.

Used to hate myself about this, but this is more of a periodical thing and for me it is slowly going away.

I'm 21 and the fantasies don't even bother me anymore.

When watching over kids, I used to be scared because of fantasies, but now it's like the fantasies actually fade away once I need to babysit again.

If you ever find somebody else your cousins age, impress her (non-sexually) so when you are in your thirties the female acquaintance remembers you as a cool guy from her childhood instead of just a somebody.

Tune in at 1:28
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=00xegtA-qMk

The biggest bother for me is that she is your cousin, so watch out for incestuous feels later in life.

Though cousins are not as bad as closer relatives, they still can get bad offspring.

>>17875814
I think, in this hypothetical malaise of yours, kids with my cousin would be fine as half of me is from a completely different ethnicity.

Though no. I don't want to groom young girls. I don't even know any that I'm not related to and, considering these thoughts, I'm very content with that.

>>17875252
You're not attracted to your cousin, you're just attracted to the idea of connection. Feeling great and comfortable (because of the lack of real sexualization and relationships) completely connected to you, maybe because you lack or lacked both of them.

Just find a girlfriend, or get laid by a fuckfriend or an escort. And don't forget dude: it's all in your head.

I know it's not exactly the same thing OP but when I'm walking the dogs around the cliffs that I live near, I get thoughts that tell me to just jump all the time. Also, when I'm walking to work at night and a girl walks past a thought runs through my mind of how easy it would be to rape her. Another thought would be when I enter a store and see no CCTV and think that I could just steal something right now. I never do any of these things and I never plan to but they are just thoughts.

>>17876369
How can I be sure of this?

Hiring a hooker doesn't seem like it'd solve the lack of deep connection you accurately point out.

Also getting a girlfriend? That's a whole other thread in its own right.

>>17876479
Depends how you react to your own thoughts, so far you have been questioning yourself probably because you don't feel like yourself anymore. This is good, you need to face your fears until you know what type of person you are. I would recommend to keep up the babysitting and seeing how things go, you will never know how you truly feel unless you keep it up consistently.

>>17876527
Would you want your daughter being babysat by a guy who has sexual thoughts about her?

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You're confusing sexual urges with intimacy, you're probably young and have been programmed by kikes on TV and the sexual liberation movement that any kind of intimacy is malicious.

On the same tangent though it is natural to be attracted to 12-13 year olds, biologically they emit involuntary signals that they're ready for the dick because they're post-pubescent. AoC laws were designed by old spinsters who didn't want sexual market competition so they put it at an anti-science level like 18 when the real science based AOC should be 14.

I know this because I was molested by an 11 year old once, she literally took her clothes off and tried to jump in the shower with me grabbing at my dick and shit when I was 16. Feels scary man.

>>17876667
She's 9 turning 10, nowhere near 14.

But yeah, the things she does, and the things she notices do feel ludicrously sexual to me, but I've relegated that to being me being fucked up like you described and not her being odd in any way.

>>17876716
>But yeah, the things she does, and the things she notices do feel ludicrously sexual to me, but I've relegated that to being me being fucked up like you described and not her being odd in any way.
She may have already started puberty, my sister did when she was 9. If thats the case shes not odd at all.

>>17875419
>wanted to do sit ups around my waist

wtf does that mean? it sounds to me like she knows what she's doing. she probably doesn't know the full impact of her actions, but i think she's horny and doesn't know what to do about it. before anyone gets on my ass, 9 years old is a perfectly normal time for a girl to start puberty. not saying that OP should act on it, but i don't think the little girl is so innocent either

>>17875419
>fter she'd been in their pool, she wanted to do sit ups around my waist and she wouldn't take no for an answer.
YEEEEEEEEEEP shes hit puberty and is experimenting with her genitals since she doesn't know what to do with being horny.

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>>17876782
>>17876766
Balls in your court, op

>>17876766
>wtf does that mean

Well, first it's worth mentioning she dances and does gymnastics(I think) so she might just be demonstrating talent like a boy would do "keepy-uppies" with a football if he's into soccer.

But basically, she asked to do sit ups and I'd seen her do it with her dad. I said no way, because if she fell she could get seriously hurt. She kept asking until I said fine, so long as you find a big enough pillow to put down just incase.

She didn't even really sit up, she just hung upside down and only sat up to to get down.

I don't wanna say it's sexual on her behalf because it's SO sexual that no 9 year old would know to do that for anything more than it's own sake. It's pretty much a pole dancing move, so I feel it's ME seeing sexuality(I almost was, literally) not her.

I mean she's fucking 9. Am I being irrational?

>>17876799
>I mean she's fucking 9. Am I being irrational?
Nah she might have hit puberty

>>17876799
Yeah you're a pedophile OP.
You have enough self control to not do anything bad to kids but because you feel that way it might be a good idea to stop doing this since it torments you like this.

I don't judge you at all you couldn't help that you were born that way. And you obviously will never act on it to do anything bad. But probably best to never tell anybody else about it.

Just come up with an excuse and stop baby sitting them

Also OP I talked to my dad about what you, he concurs that she might be expressing sexuality in the only ways she knows how. It is not malicious and has nothing to do with you at all, if she were an animal should would be humping inanimate objects.

I would talk with your parents about this, but make sure to open the conversation with an introductory that it is an uncomfortable topic and it kind of scares you to talk about it. My dad said more kids should have faith enough to talk to their parents about stuff like this, because its totally not a bad thing to ask your parents about developing sexuality.

Just tell them you are suspicious that your cousin might unknowingly be expressing herself sexually and it makes you uncomfortable.

>>17876853
>Yeah you're a pedophile OP.
No hes not, the girl in question is pubescent, it is totally natural to be attracted to girls going through puberty don't make him feel like a monster you fucking degenerate.

>>17876799

OP, a few questions.

Do you like shorter girls?
Do you like small tits?
Do you like REALLY tight vaginas?

If you answered yes to all of these then congrats you're probably going to have some attraction towards younger girls. Does it make you a shit person? No. You know the difference between right and wrong. Girls your age have these physical features too. There are a lot of them in their twenties who still look really fucking young. This is more common than you think.

>>17876909
>tell your parents you're a pedophile
haha.
ha.

wait, what?

if OP ever has kids, his parents are going to fucking monitor is every move.

Don't listen to this faggot, OP.

If anything, I'd say help the girl explore her sexuality. Just let her lead the way m8, it's a safe environment with you.

Here's the problem with being a pedophile...
People don't understand the difference between that, and a child molester, no matter how close you are to the person you say it to. There are no programs to help them like people addicted to porn, or alcoholics, or smokers, or drug users as a whole. If you tell someone during, say, a visit for therapy that you are a pedophile, or that you in any way have an attraction towards children, you will not be answering to another psychologist, or a group there to help you. You'll be answering to the police, or a mental ward.

>>17876964
>>17876933
Being attracted to Pubescent girls is not pedophilia, learn grammar

>>17876916
I answered yes to all these...

>>17876909
The idea of telling any of this to my parents makes me physically sick.

I danced around the edge of the topic with my mother after another time with just me and my cousin. I pretty much said she was a bit weird and my mom thought nothing of it, which only makes me think this really is symptomatic of my mental problems and not any actions on my cousin's end.

Though my aunt has said that it's amazing how open and spritely my cousin is with me compared to the other cousins. I mean my mom did pretty much say "I barely know [my cousin], she's very quiet," when I asked her what she thought of her various nephews and nieces.

>>17876933
I know this is bait but dude...

The only things someone my size and age should be helping her explore are hard to reach places that I can lift her to. I want to be a father one day, which is why these past few weeks have been so unsettling, and I can't fathom how anything sexual at age 9 is a "safe environment."

>>17876989

The only "problem" is that you're thinking of it as one. It's a problem when you go fuck a 9 year old. You're not going to. This is, again, more common than you think.

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>>17876977

Kill yourself. You know what we mean, cunt.

>>17876989
>I danced around the edge of the topic with my mother after another time with just me and my cousin. I pretty much said she was a bit weird and my mom thought nothing of it, which only makes me think this really is symptomatic of my mental problems and not any actions on my cousin's end.
>Though my aunt has said that it's amazing how open and spritely my cousin is with me compared to the other cousins. I mean my mom did pretty much say "I barely know [my cousin], she's very quiet," when I asked her what she thought of her various nephews and nieces.
Don't talk to your mom talk to your dad, your dad will understand how men see everything through a sex filter. Women get very emotional concerning children.

>>17877005
No you fucking kill yourself you fucking Shabbos goy, don't make a fucking teenager feel guilty about natural biological processes by giving him a label typically attributed to criminals. If he were attracted to a 4 or 5 year old it would be different.

>>17877006
My dad has always been the emotional and passionate parent whereas my mom is the calm, collected and empathetic one. I honestly don't know what my dad would do if I told him.

He's bush at heart and it comes out on two matters. Gays and pedophiles.

As he's assimilated to western society more, his hatred for gays has lessened but his hatred for pedophiles is another reason why this is such an unpleasant thing to be going through.

>>17876909
>Fucking degenerate
You're expressing your anger to me in an unhealthy abusive way. I can't believe I have to tell you this. Why haven't you learned the basic common sense that it's wrong to insult people you're talking to? Maybe you should consider the feelings of the people you're talking to. It's fine if i'm wrong. But that doesn't make it right for you to talk to me that way. It doesn't make it fine for you to talk to anyone that way.

If you're like this in real life you're going to get punched in the face one day. Calling somebody a fucking "anything" irl is going to get a shocked face out of anyone in ear shot and do heavy damage what reputation you ever had.

And by the way. I am NOT a fucking degenerate. I am not ANY insult you can possibly think of. And how DARE you talk to me that way. If you're smart you'll learn from this experience and never talk badly to other people again. Remember that people have feelings and that you should respect them.

>Get tougher skin
Just addressing this in case anyone plays this card. Tougher skin is for stuff like teasing or banter. You should never get tougher skin for getting out right insulted by somebody else like this. You address them and confront them like I just did.

And by the way you were wrong all along. I looked it up. 9 year old counts as pedophilia. So you weren't only rude and offensive. You were wrong about what you were being rude and offensive about.

Get wrecked.

>>17877025
Settle down, okay?

>>17876989
Hey man, I answered 'yes' to all of those and I'm pretty confident I'm not a pedophile.

You're clearly having an ethical crisis, and I feel like actually having the ability to feel this way separates you from many genuine child molesters.

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>>17877025
>gets mad
>is also wrong
>get wrecked
lmao

>>17876989
>I answered yes to all these...
Don't listen to that fag, hes a (((Freudian))), probably thinks if you hug your mom too much you want to cum inside her.

>>17877025
The only reason why you could possibly get this butthurt is if the comment you're replying to hit home. Which is what I'm assuming happened, you degenerate

OP here, gonna get some sleep. I really don't know what to do, I'll check the thread again in the morning.

Either way, next time I see her will be Christmas.

>>17877161

Fuck her on Christmas. It'll be the best gift ever.

>>17877098
>Hit home
Listen here. The fact that I got upset about what was said does not mean anything about whether or not what he said was true. And it obviously wasn't true.

I was upset because of the fact that he was offensively disrespecting me. And if you're the guy I replied to, the fact that you still have not learned yet that what you said and did was wrong and offensive is very sad and i'm not going to waste my patience on somebody who is not willing to learn from their mistakes. I would stay longer but it's getting very late here so I can't stay up to keep talking to you guys about this. If you're just supporting what the other guy said and you're not that guy the same thing applies. You should know that its not acceptable to treat people that way.

When you're talking to people it's common sense that you don't insult them on purpose while you're talking to them. Like I said i'm surprised I have to even educate you guys on something this basic. It's socializing 101. It's human decency 101.

And i'll say it again. I'm NOT a degenerate and i'm NOT any other insult you can come up with.
That said i'm out of the thread now. I need to sleep. Good night.

>>17875252
How much outside interaction do you get with women? You're probably just reaching out to whatever you can because of the lack of it. This is why there's so many faggots that like traps here even though they're "not gay".

>>17877184
Dude

>>17877025
Screenshotted for the next cringe thread

>>17877225
>human decency
>4chan

Lol yeah right

>>17877225
>And i'll say it again. I'm NOT a degenerate
t. a degenerate

>>17877225
>>17878407

>human decency
>anywhere on the internet

fixed

>>17877246
Back when I was at highschool I had a pretty smoking girlfriend. I also slept with another quite pretty girl and was often speaking to multiple girls I'd describe as at least in the high 6's. Since leaving, I can count on one hand the amount of women I've had prolonged and potentially sexual interaction with.

Thing is, at highschool there was this one tiny blonde girl who, despite all the others, I still found crazy hot. My friends didn't. She was flat, barely even over 4'11 and couldn't have weighed more than 45kg. So even then I have had an attraction to that image.

>>17875614
I used to have a problem with imagining what people looked like while fucking. It got to be very annoying as it was happening with random people. Kinda like an obsessive thought

>>17875252
i have similar shit all the time, granted im only 16. but this kinda stuff happens to a lot of people, most grow out of it but if were really fucked we get it for keeps it seems. i dont really have a solution, just wanted to let you know that youre not alone, and that at least youre only thinking about nine year olds
lets just say... i have it a bit worse