Should I even bother making friends?

Anybody?

OP, I feel the same way. I got into social media just to talk to friends over the internet. And you know what? They don't bother starting a conversation, or schedule where and when to hang out. It stinks...

>>17874280

I did too. I even have a Facebook account and I barely use it. Nobody from school bothers messaging me, yet I see post after post on everybody's profiles directed to others and plans with specific people tagged. These are people I knew in school who wouldn't seem to notice if I just kind of vanished. I just don't know how literally everyone else seems to be getting smothered by people when I don't even have one person to talk to or do anything with.

It makes it even more difficult for me when even my long distance friends I met online and went so far out of my way to visit have stopped trying to talk to me. It's like, they'd all be okay with doing something if I asked, but they'd never ask me, and if it came down to someone else asking someone to talk or do anything, and me, they'd choose them. I'm not "first" in anybody's book and among that group of friends, probably last or near last in everyone's.

>>17873839

friends and romance aren't that different.

men have a bad habbit of settling for the first person to not ditch them. as a result most men are dating women they don't actually love, and hang out wiht friends they don't actually have feelings for. its sad.

the solution? look around. try to meet people and hang out a few times and see what clicks.

it took me a long time to find one friend who actually likes me, and he even just calls me on the phone just to talk like were chicks in the 90s or something. but he's a great bud and has my back and i know I'm in his mind and heart (as gay as that sounds) because his girlfriend refers to me as his 'second girlfriend' because of how much he brings me up when im not around.

it takes itme. and it takes some bonding situations. but its great.

I don't know what to tell you, OP. We're in the same pickle, you and I. Somebody's gotta know, let's hope they read your post.

>>17874304
>>17874323
Well, someone has!

>>17874304
I know it's kind of like this if you want actual friends, but it's hard to believe when you're 22 and people have had friends like this their entire lives. I can't tell if I just missed that many opportunities in my life or if that's just the difference between introverts and extroverts. I can't tell which it is because other introverts have people swarming them too and most talk less than I do.

It's hard to stomach seeing so many people I'm familiar with from different points in my life and seeing they've all found people like that. I haven't even found one as much as I've tried to be social.

>>17874348

I feel ya. similar situation. i grew up military. went to five ihghschools in 4 years. which meant that everyone i met already had best friends. and many had best friends that stretched back to early childhood.

no matter how amazing a person i seemed to be, i was only ever the '8th choice' in a group of 7 people. i remember one time moving to maryland, was only there for the school year. was talking to a guy on the first day, explained ill be moving in a year. he said 'oh i wont waste your time then'. got up and left. as if not allowing me to have friends for a year was doing me a favor.

even as an adult, similar issues. growing up military i just never had the need to maintain long term friendships. at best they'd last 9 months, and as an adult it just followed that pattern even without moving.

again, it was really hard, but i have an amazing friend now who i wouldn't trade for 50 casual friends. hes the best. i used to think it was cringy for people to call a friend their 'brother' when they're so horrible to their real life siblings, but he does feel like my brother.

ive managed to somehow hold on to him for 3 years and it amazes me. you can do the same. the trick is to /not/ settle for the first person to settle for you. get to know people. dont force things. and wait for those bonding moments.

hardship and time are the two things that bond people together. not time in the general sense, but time together, hours logged in together. the reason marines and teenagers seem to be closer than anyone else is because Marines face hardship and are forced to spend lots of time together. Teens THINK they face hardship and bond over that, and of course spend lots of time together.

as an adult were taught to hang out with friends once or twice a week max.
but keep at it and you'll find the right friend(s).

do NOT to compare what you have to others. don't make someone less special by forcing more friendship into your life.

Communication ... Build bridges not walls.
I cant make it any easier