I don't get it

Don't take him back. He cared more about himself than you while in the relationship. From what I can tell, it looks like he just misses what you added to his life instead of just you entirely. I had an ex who seemed to only care about me when she was afraid of losing me on my terms, but otherwise she didn't seem to care a lot about me as a person and only liked what I brought to her life for the most part, so I know somewhat how you feel. You definitely did the right thing leaving him and I wish you the best in finding someone who actually cares about you instead of what you provide for them.

That's pretty complicate. It could have been that he had so many problems like you stated and he actually need the support of someone to overcome them. One person who gets problems from external connections might deliver them directly at his internal connections. Like a hate cycle, where the boss screams at the employee and the employee kill his wife. Of course sustaining a healthy relationship is pretty hard, it's a commitment of great responsability. Maybe you could give him another chance. Or, tell him to suck a cock because he looks like a bitch.

>>17873624

How do I stop myself giving in? I'm such a pushover. I know I deserve better but he claims he will change and I ask myself really because he didn't for the ex he actually loved before me.

I feel like if he really loved me he wouldn't have done or said a lot of the things he did

So why do I feel so funny without him looking after me or being with me?

>>17873634

But no matter what I did to help he still got lazy or abusive or would run away. I don't know if that makes it the opposite of what you're saying

His ex told me to run because he won't ever change and he made her miserable for several years and never did change

But I am scared and feel like I should take him back anyway

>>17873597
>treated me like shit when it suited him

so why exactly do you want to go back to this guy ?

>>17873637
Because you're insecure. I don't mean that in an insulting way. You think you can't do better so you're tempted to go back to him because he's familiar and you think he's the best you can get. Is he?

>>17873642
Well let's address this, why do you feel like you should take him back anyway?

>>17873642
Oh. No, no. Don't take heavy actions while under negative circunstances like that. And if his ex advised you to stay far from him, it would be better to listen to her. And maybe if you left him he could actually change for better. It's a win win situation. Dump him. :D

Well OP you already took the first step. And I think you did make the right decision. What you did was smart and you broke a cycle that a lot of people let themselves get lost in. I would suggest cutting off contact at least for a while and focusing on other facets of your life.

>>17873681

Because even though he was abusive and immature he never has the guts to cheat and is always loyal.

I'm scared of future boyfriends thinking I'm too ugly or chubby, or not being enough.

First and foremost great job in breaking up with your abusive boyfriend. Secondly you should definitely cut contact with him and don't get lured back into the cycle that is breaking up and "rekindling" because that shit is just tiring and it all ends up the same way. Third, you're scared that you will never find another boyfriend as loyal as him; fucking wrong woman, there are millions of men who will not cheat on you, let alone ones are mature and non abusive to you. Focus on yourself, don't let him in and for gods sake I can't stress this enough cut contact with him. Good luck anon.

I was in a similar situation. I don't know why he wants me back. Some sort of pride thing? Who knows. What I do know is, you made the right choice. Don't fall for his words. He won't change shit. Trust me. You'll waste your time. If he cared about you he wouldn't have abused you.

Please, cut off contact. Don't make the same mistake I did.

If all he does is manipulate and abuse you then maybe he wants you back so he can keep doing it it's probably fun for him

>>17875337

this is really uplifting. Thank you so much

There's really so many who would treat me better?

>>1787>>17875518
Yes, just because one man is abusive doesn't mean every single one after is as well. Chill out.

>>17873597

Take him back... I did the same shit, and I forever hate myself for it. Give him the chance. I don't care what anyone else here says.

>>17877518
Don't listen to this anon for the love of God.

>>17873597
Humans have a weird internal clock for routines. 30 days with no contact of the dude will get him mostly out of your mind. I broke up with cheating gf last year and still want to go back but she won't take me, shit gets better with time but will never be forgotten entirely. Just gotta take it as a learning experience and move on. Fuck California sluts amirite?

If there is any girl on 4chan that needs to be single and just work on female friends for like half a year+ its you. What are you into op? If it is a short or nonexistent list you need to really figure yourself out and try new things and not cave in when you crave sum attention or sum fuk.

>>17877534
do tell how can you speak love when you havent God yet