How do I deal with his anger? I know, men sometimes gets angry,

there is something endearing about people who get angry so fast. it is the fact that they are so helplessly optimistic. they truly believe that you will be able to play the game like a pro the first time you play it. they truly believe that whatever they attempt will work on the first try. they also think that if they say something, you WILL understand what they meant. they expect the world to be functional and get very frustrated when it doesn't meet their expectstions because they refuse to believe that the world is full of failure, shortcomings and misunderstanding.
what would suit im good would be a more realistic worldview, where it is normal for things to go to shit. where people fuck up and things break. you can't make him change his ways, but maybe you can lead by example or try to prepare him for upcoming frustrations (maybe we will be late becasue there's usually a lot of traffic st this time of the day. but atleast we'll get to listen to our favorite song once more!). try to help him deal with stuff like that. make im accept the fact that sometimes, everything goes wrong and it is NOT the end of the world and he will manage just fine. try to instill in him a flexibility to adapt to circumstances that didn't meet his hopes.

Sounds like the dude just has a lot of repressed anger send him to therapy before he knocks you out cuz that's how it starts grumblings then screams then tantrums then assaults all the while hell cry and apologize right after each event watched my mom go through it wouldn't want you to have to

>>17871644
>that didn't meet his hopes
It sounds like him. He tends to ignore people and things he doesn't like and he likes order in everyting. Then it feels like an irony because I'm a walking catastrophe (forgetting everything, loosing my gadgets, making chaos unintentionally), we even met each other when I broke his thing accidentally and I witnessed what silent rage is look like. Actually, I can see how he tries to take it easy sometimes (forgiving my mistakes or laughing it out). Do you think he liked me in first place because of that? Do you think he is willing to change himself unconsiously? I heard that men never changes.

>>17871694
it might be that he subconsciously has choosen you as his parnter to regain some balance. he could learn a lot from you but in turn, you could also learn a lot from him. now the only quesion is if he is willing to learn anything. everybody can change the way he reacts to the world if he wants and please, stop making general assumptions about men. or woman for that matter.

for example, i'm pretty laissez faire with my money and my bf on the other side is very correct (he keeps every god damn recipe ever). he could learn to be a bit more relaxed with money and i could learn to have some more organisation. in the best case, we will find a balaced compromise between his way and mine so one day we might actually be able to handle money sanely.

>>17871710
>for example, i'm pretty laissez faire with my money and my bf on the other side is very correct (he keeps every god damn recipe ever). he could learn to be a bit more relaxed with money and i could learn to have some more organisation. in the best case, we will find a balaced compromise between his way and mine so one day we might actually be able to handle money sanely.
Do you often have fights over it? How do you act?

bumpito

>>17871631
>Also, he's russian

please find a normal bf

too much anger from that guy if what you typed in op is accurate

he needs therapy or some "anger management" training

do internet search for "anger management" plenty of good websites

you could try being very direct with him saying something like -

when you get angry i am concerned about my own physical safety

if you don't change this behavior right now i am leaving you

really plenty of other fish in the sea

>>17871997
What is your experience with Russians? I'm curious

>>17871739
no, but i know my carelessnes sometimes bugs him. and sometimes i roll my eyes if he keeps every cheque. that's about it. it might lead to bigger problems if we lay our finances together one day tough. so it would be the best to learn from each other before we do that

>>17872296
Not the anon you replied but I live in brooklyn this place is like half Russian they are for the most part rage monkeys who get drunk and try to start shit all the time just a shitty culture of people desu

>>17871631
Sometimes people get angry, he can't just turn off his emotions. It doesn't sound like he threatens you physically or berates you emotionally, he just gets a little upset but keeps himself under control, right?

I dunno, there's no such thing as a perfect person or a perfect relationship. Your parents never got angry like this? Idk how you even think this is something that could be controlled.

This is what relationships are like, you don't just fuse into one perfect being and live without conflict, you're two different people who choose to be together because the good times outweigh the bad times. Not because there are no bad times

>>17872296
CYKA BLYAAAAAT

>>17872304
>It doesn't sound like he threatens you physically or berates you emotionally, he just gets a little upset but keeps himself under control, right?
Yeah, I feel safe near him, just a bit annoyed because sometimes I don't deserve it.
> Your parents never got angry like this? Idk how you even think this is something that could be controlled.
Of course, they fight and have arguments from time to time, despite of this they are together for more than 30 years. I guess, I was spoiled by their love, never got beaten or something like that. His childhood was not so bright.
>This is what relationships are like, you don't just fuse into one perfect being and live without conflict, you're two different people who choose to be together because the good times outweigh the bad times. Not because there are no bad times
I have my disadvantages too and he is here for me. I just really want to learn to not run away of every problem (like I'm used to). It's not easy for me. Do you think I should talk to him about it?

>>17872345
>Do you think I should talk to him about it?
Yep. It's a cliche, but good honest communication is the key to any healthy relationship. It doesn't always SOLVE problems like this, but you'll feel better when you've expressed your thoughts and you both understand each other a little better.

You should just say pretty much exactly what you've said in this thread. It honestly sounds like you two are pretty good together, so I'm sure he will at least make an effort