Ex

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>>17870462
Yes. If you are being what she thinks is creepy or obsessive- right or wrong- there is no chance whatsoever. Sorry anon, you will have to move on.

Jesus Christ, move on. You weren't even with her this time last year.

I don't think I'm being creepy, we didn't speak at all for ages. I think you guys are misunderstanding. I don't want to get back with her, I've dealt with the fact we broke up and I'm okay with it, I've been working on what she said for myself, because what she said was true and it needs to change. I would like to have her involved in my life though, as a friend.

>>17870509
Move on from the idea of being a friend

I'll eat your fucking nuts if you dont

>>17870524
Yeah, I'll take that on-board dude. There is another problem though, we go to University together and at some point next term I'm going to be with her for a social (I've avoided being around her at social gatherings up until now). Now, do I ignore her like she's been doing to me, the logic is if she doesn't feel like I deserve a response then neither should she from me. Or do I be civil with her and keep it short and sweet (if it comes to a hello).

>>17870462
She seemed to have moved on and its not in her frame of mind to have you as a friend no ?
If you really want to be more responsible, do not act on it because she told you so, forget about her it's not about her it's about YOUR LIFE, you should focus on yourself so much that the idea of reconnecting with her doesn't trouble you anymore. Because drunk calling your ex even though you just wanna be friends well if she hasn't responded to you all these months it's time to let go, you haven't moved on. You will have moved on when you don't think about her at all, from there you can welcome a real friendship. Shit is too soon anyway if you wanna be friends, your behavior shows it imo

>>17870509
She doesn't have to be your friend if she doesn't want to. And I think it's quite clear she doesn't want to. Leave her alone.

>>17870551
So what should I do about being at this party with her, I'm going to be with her for more than a few hours and she's well aware of that too, there isn't going to be a big group of us and chances are with alcohol involved we are going to have a conversation at some point. Do I treat her the same way she's treated me? Or do I take the high road and not be petty like family and friends have said? And just to give a scale of time, after we broke up we spoke to each other on 3 separate occasions and then the night they tried to mug me (which I wasn't completely honest about to you guys) she was going to come, then said she thought it was a bad idea, then when I got home my housemate told me he told her there was a girl in my bed, now I'm not sure if it was the girl or if she'd already decided not to come, but either way that was nearly two months ago and me ringing her yesterday is the first time I've tried to speak to her. So we've had 4 separate times of talking and one attempt of reconnecting. I'm not this creepy guy, just thought I'd clear that up.

>>17870553
In regards to what you're saying, she doesn't know I want to be friends with her because we haven't spoken, she probably thinks I'm wrapped up in trying to get her back or something. But yeah, I'm going to abandon being friends with her and let it happen naturally if it does at all.

>>17870628
If she wanted you in her life, she wouldn't have blocked you, and she would have responded to your voicemail. Stop being so fucking dense and stop being so desperate and clingy for a girl you were with for 6 months.

>>17870644
Yeah, you're right. What are your thoughts about what I mentioned in the above post (Being around her at the party)?

>>17870593
Well then "be natural", know what you feel, know what you want to say, then feel it and say it when you have the chance
Just roll with it and have a good night with the feeling of "we can be friends its okay no weird things involved" and from this you can say and ask whatever you want to her and it will be settled then ?

>>17870652
>>17870593
Wait, so she thought you were cheating on her and you wonder why she blocked you and wants nothing to do with you? And somehow you think she was in the wrong for reacting that way?

>>17870659
>>17870652
No, we weren't together, we'd already broken up like a month before that and I met this girl after her. I think she may have blocked me because she found out I'd been with someone else, even though she told my friend she did it because she thought I was being manipulative by asking her to come to the hospital with me. The more I explain this, the more fucked I think this situation is.

>>17870657
Yeah of course, I would be like that anyway. But the problem I'm having is trying to understand the social situation between me and her prior to me entering into it. She's made it clear that she doesn't want anything to do with me by not responding. So I'm having trouble trying to decide on whether to speak to her face to face if she tries to say hello (obviously it's easier to ignore someone when they aren't there, face to face is always different) Due to the way she's been treating me, I don't think I should speak to her if she says something to me, but then I also think that's petty and not me.

>>17870669
You sound like a real shithead. Leave her alone.

Get over it you fucking narcissist. Why does it even matter?

>>17870692
Care to explain how that makes me a shithead?

>>17870698
It matters because I care about her and I'd rather have her in my life as a friend than not have her in my life at all. Yet the latter is something I can deal with and I'm not going to pursue trying to be friends with her anymore. I think the main reason it matters is because she's made me feel like this is all my fault, the break up, asking her to come to the hospital with me.

>>17870714
So if you're not going to pursue anything, why ask?
You just want your cake and to eat it too. Friendship with someone who doesn't want it. Why did you even need HER to go to the hospital with you, if she means little to you?

>>17870754
Well until making this thread I was going to try and start a friendship with her, but listing all this and explaining it has 1. Made me feel like a child and 2. Just made me think more about how she feels about all this. Chances are she doesn't.

Because at the time of that happening I was still in love with her and needed her with me, we'd only been broken up like a 4 weeks at that time.

I am ashamed of the way things have gone down after we broke up and I think creating a friendship would have been a way of getting past that up until us breaking up, we got along so well man. If none of this happened after the break up we'd probably be good friends, she is literally the female version of me.

>>17870462
OP, listen...

This girl is trying to be nice about it, but she wants you out of her life, and you've done some creepy, manipulative, borderline abusive shit in the interest of bringing her back into your life.

Stop it.

Delete her number, unfriend her, forget you knew her.

Need to get over her? Fuck someone else. Fuck a few people, actually, until you realize people aren't special, you're either compatible with one or you're not.

In this case, you're not.

So yes, "abandon asking her back into your life." Move on. Move forward. Grow up.

>>17870778
What are you basing this 'creepy, manipulative, borderline abusive shit' on? That way I can learn from it and grow up.

I was considering unfriending her, as it serves no purpose.

Nah, emotionally I'm already over the relationship because I don't feel like a mess inside anymore and I have been with other girls since.

But yeah, after hearing everyone response including yours, I've definitely reconsidered this.

>>17870813
You "got mugged" and expected her to be there for you when she wasn't anyone to you at that point.

Drunk dials are always creepy and a fucking headache, it's for when you want to be an asshole but think "I was drunk lmao" absolves you from being an asshole.

>>17870827
>>17870827
Someone did try to mug me, and yeah I get what you are saying but if she rang me and said she needed to go to the hospital I would have. Which is why I thought the same would apply. Is that really a creepy thing to do?

The drunk dialling - I agree even though the intention behind it wasn't malicious.

God, this girl must hate me man

>>17870847
>but if she rang me and said she needed to go to the hospital I would have.
But she wouldn't. She never would. That's the point.

>Which is why I thought the same would apply. Is that really a creepy thing to do?
Yes. She wants you to stop calling her. It didn't work out, she doesn't owe you a friendship, she doesn't like you as a friend, hell she doesn't like you as a person.

I've been where she is before, I've had jump offs/exes who just wouldn't. fuck. off. It's exhausting.

>drunk dialling - I agree even though the intention behind it wasn't malicious.
Intent doesn't matter, she doesn't want to hear from you. You're obstructing her right to live the life she wants, a life that doesn't include you.

>God, this girl must hate me man
I mean, fuck, I would.

>>17870880
So what do you think I should do about being at this party with her? Just ignore her completely and pretend she isn't there?

>>17870889
Honestly? I wouldn't go.

>>17870894
It's not as easy as that, I'm the social secretary for one of the societies that have been invited. I'm on the committee, I have to attend.

>>17870899
Oh. Then keep interaction with her to an absolute minimum. Don't start a conversation with her. Don't give her weird looks.

>>17870904
And if she starts talking to me? This is what I've been worried about. Trying to figure out the social context between me and her prior to this event. Like, do I have a conversation with her if she talks to me, what happens if we both end up sleeping together. That would be the worst.

But yeah, after both of us ignoring one another and then not getting a reply when I tried to speak to her. It's obvious she isn't going to try to talk to me.

Thanks for your help guys, I'll report back once I've had the party in a month and let you know how it went.

>>17870923
>I'll report back once I've had the party in a month and let you know how it went.
What in the world makes you think we care enough about your mundane situation to want to see TWO fucking threads about it?

>>17870932
Affirmative